:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: 12.10.2009 ::

Wonderin'

What I should do with this blog!

Anyways my birthday came and went and I visited my family and friends in Brooklyn. My sister is now a mother and she told me that she will be getting married to her baby daddy. That's good news. They plan to buy a co-op apartment in the dwontown area. I visited her new apartment and its pretty nice. It has plenty of heat. Unlike my mother's house which was pretty cold (like 60 degrees) when I stayed over. My mother is doing much better, she seems happier. I bought some new sunglasses while I was there and I am excited to wear them. This time I bought Chopard. A little bit more than I usually pay but they are very pretty.

Right now I am looking for a new clothes dryer. I think I will purchase one from Sears Outlet. They are having a 40% off sale and I can get a Maytag centennial for $317! And it's a whopping 7.0 cu ft!)

I guess thats all for now.

:: Jane Dee 11:29:00 AM [+] ::
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Getting Tired of My Job

I better not say that too loud because someone may try to take it from me!

So Ive been working at Fedex for five years already. How crazy is that? I would have never have thought that I would have a job that long nor did I think that I would be working at Fedex this long. The problem is that combined with the slumpin market and managers not "seeing" me (that means they think I dont look the part) as manager or trainer material, and my nagging customers, Im definately ready to make a change. Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to persue my piloting apsirations, at least commercially anyways. I would still like to get an MBA, but with the prices some schools want to charge, Im not sure its worth it. I was thinking about other plans and careers.

I guess its inevitable that I will leave Fedex. Ive pretty much moved up as far as I could. I don't see myself landing a manager job anytime soon and I know there will not be anymore trainer positions. Sometimes, I wish I worked one day a week so I can focus on other things.

Well, till next time.

:: Jane Dee 12:43:00 PM [+] ::
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Bad Dreams, Sad Realities

This past month has been good and bad. The good part was that I went on my first cruise and it was wonderful! I was surprised at how awesome my cruise was. I wont post pictures here because I try to post them on my webpage. However I will say that I gained 10 pounds in one week and about a month later it finally came off. I will definately go on more cruises. Its a lot more enjoyable than flying.

The bad news is that I had found a small lump on my cat and I was nervous about it because it was in the dager zone of being a mammary tumor which from what I read is very aggressive and deaadly in cats. So I brought her in to see the vet and the vet wasnt too concerned because it didnt seem like a mammary tumor. The vet explained what the surgery would entail and I was upset because they would have to cut out so much tissue and she is an older cat. I was worried about the surgery but also about the tumor being the bad type. After much deliberation, I took her back a week later and went ahead with the surgery. She recovered well and I will have to get her stiches out finally in a couple of days. The extra bad part is that the biopsy showed that the tumor WAS the malignant mammary kind and the vet commended me on finding it so early. This was the smallest mammry tumor she had ever removed from a cat. Well, either way, there is still a chance that it metastasized but statistically, her life span should be about 21 MONTHS. I was pretty upset by this because although Ive read that if you remove these tumors early you get and average of three YEARS, the vet said this is the newest statistic.

Obviously Ive been upset about my kitty and I had a horrible dream that she died in my arms. I woke up panting and crying. That had never happenedd to me in all my life. I don't expect this to be my only dream like this . I feel as though Meux Meux has an hourglass attached to her and from here on its only a matter of time. Even though she is going to be 10 in March and she may have had only three years left, I don't want an otherwise healthy kitty to be taken away from me just from some dumb tumor.

Hopefully, her stitches will come out with ease and she can get back to being herself again. Right now she is wearing a baby shirt and she isnt fond of it.

:: Jane Dee 12:41:00 PM [+] ::
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September Updates

Hello all. September was a month to remember!

Of course, I am not as descriptive as I used to be and I wont embellish anything, so here is what I did:

I went on my first cruise.

I went on a Mexican cruise on Royal Carribean and it was a real blast. I never knew how awesome it was to cruise. I think that I will try my darndest to go cruising more often. I was looking forward to my Alaskan cruise, but now I think I want to see Austrailia by ship as well. I think it would be the best way to see it all!

I also cant believe how fast time is going. I also dont know how much longer I want to keep up this blog. I dont write anything anymore. Not that I have nothing to write about but I actually have someone to talk to about all this that its kind of old once I get around to typing it. Its not that much fun to talk to yourself. Which is basically what this is. It is fun to go back and read my old posts because they were actually pretty good and funny. I guess I could talk about my co workers but why would I want to waste time doing that?

Oh well, till next time.

:: Jane Dee 9:59:00 AM [+] ::
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Whoops!

Its a retro-entry! I cant have a month missing!!

:: Jane Dee 9:36:00 PM [+] ::
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Blogger in Draft

Whats the diff?
I dunno, but its August! I cant believe how fast my life is going.

I feel like I have a fever... Hm only 99.1

Funny how I dont write much on this thing anymore. I used to always write stuff. I guess I got sick of writing.

:: Jane Dee 7:09:00 PM [+] ::
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Gettin' Motivated

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had made some different decisions in 1998 and 1999. Like what would have happened if I went off to Pharmacy school in Philadelphia or joined the Air Force like I wanted to. I like my life now. its mostly peaceful and I can finally get my life together. I can actually make new decisions without my family problems hanging over my head twenty-four hours a day. From where I stand right now, I can see how messed up my life was before. I dont know how I held on that long without killing anyone. I must have been favored by the almighty. I am not joking. Now I have a great reward with a fabulous husband who is totally awesome and I wouldnt trade him for anyone! Lucky me. Just when I thought I was going to be an old maid because Im just too picky.

Just sayin'

:: Jane Dee 12:46:00 AM [+] ::
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The Saddest Song In The World

Is "Wouldn't Be So Bad" by Alison Krauss and Union Station. Just doesnt get old.

Anyways, I dont have much to say. Nothing new here. Other than I may need to buy some new dry erase markers. I am surprised they lasted over FIVE YEARS. Sheesh!

Well, I think my husband is going upstate to see his parents for July 4th weekend. I mean Im going too, but it was his idea. That should be boring. Not that I have anything against his family, I just dont like family functions because you either have to talk about yourself of listen to everyone say the same stories over and over. Actually Id rather listen, but they dont drink coffee and I will definately need some kind of boost. Hmm. I guess there is not much I can do.

:: Jane Dee 3:11:00 AM [+] ::
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Some Thoughts

Another Saturday and not much doing. Right now I am setting up my new VAIO. I am making recovery discs. Then I hope I can change the settings. This thing runs Windows Vista, so I dont know how it works or how well it will hold up. I still have my old VAIO and I have no plans to get rid of it.

So speaking of getting rid of things, I had set out an old dining table and six chairs and some towels I was going to donate to the Vietnam Veterans Association. I called them to come and pick it up and I waited all morning for them. I then had to leave for work so I called to make sure I hadnt made a mistake and scheduled it for the next Friday. Everything was correct, so I left for work, a little uneasy because I had a bad feeling someone was going to take the table and chairs. AND OF COURSE SOME ASSHOLE DID.

Can you believe someone would take a DONATION? I labelled it "Property of VVA" too! The office called me and asked me where the donation was and she said the driver said there was nothing there. I was so mad because someone STOLE my stuff. I bet someone will try to sell it too. Assholes. This is why I think some people deserve all the bad luck they get.

Among other annoying things that people do, I must say that the drivers in "the valley" (aka greater Phoenix area) are very shitty. I hope certain people have car trouble and drive through brick walls.

I guess today's theme would be "Assholes," and it brings me back to when I was studying nursing. I remember trying to get into the spirit of wanting to "help people" and "caring" but you know something, there are many people out there that are rotten and miserable that I knew that if I was to be a nurse, there would be times I'd want to "accidently" pull the plug on some people. I think that if I ran a medical facility, I would have a "no asshole policy." That means that I have the right to refuse service to someone I feel is being an asshole. Yes, asshole is subjective, but its my business so I dont care. I know first hand how stupid customers can be coming from a service oriented field. And no, the customer is not always right; sometimes they are just assholes.

I also think Facebook is pretty annoying. There are some "freinds" on there that I really should delete. I especially hate the post "25 Random Things About Me." HELLO, its not random. I am so sick of people using that word. It drives me nuts!!!!!! So here is my version of some stupid note on Facebook:

25 Things That Are NOT Random Because I Thought About Them And Are Writing Them Down

1. I don't like it when someone says something but then not elaborate on it if asked about it.
2. I think Scions are extremely ugly.
3. I think people shouldn't add you as a freind in Facebook unless you hold some kind of value to them as opposed to being a filler.
4. I don't like it when people want to know my business, but will not let me know theirs.
5. I wish I could say better things about the drivers in this state.
6. I wish flight training was either cheaper or had better financing options.
7. I wish I had perfect vision.
8. I wish I could telepathically give people pain or at least give them the runs when I wish.
9. I don't think my parents were very good at parenting.
10. I like peanut butter.
11. I also like coffee.
12. I don't like that my "family" has so many issues and problems.
13. I'm glad I'm married.
14. I think my husband is the greatest gift I ever received.
15. I always wonder how much better off I could have been if I was adopted by another family.
16. I'm glad I have a house and a giant backyard.
17. I have a cat that snores.
18. I have some sort of DSPS and I go to bed at about 4am.
19. I want to run my own business so I can make my own schedule.
20. I hate school but I want to get a professional degree.
21. I have a pet snail.
22. I think I read too many non-fiction books.
23. I always feel hungry.
24. I like to hike.
25. I wish I didnt have to work.

Well, I guess its back to work.

:: Jane Dee 4:40:00 PM [+] ::
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Ahhhh

I am convinced I have the best bed in the world. I just bought a new king size mattress and WOW! Ive never felt so good.

:: Jane Dee 2:45:00 AM [+] ::
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Green Day's New Album

So I hear Green Day has a new album. I guess if I were 16, I'd care, but ever since "Warning" and especially after their over-the-top, boring political album "American Idiot", this will be one album I will happily not be purchasing. I don't want music with a message. I don't want music to tell me what they think of the government or their ideas about God. I want music to take me to another place, probably because I feel sad or mad. I want a song to tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel or help me imagine beating someone's face in. If I want political crap, I will turn on the news for an endless stream of murdurous rampages, war, rapes, bombs, etc. I certainly dont need Green Day to help with that. I guess I am just annoyed at their "new" direction. Like I am supposed to take a pot-smoking, eye-liner wearing guy seriously about politics and God. Hm, yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah what is UP with the eyeliner, geez! OKAY I GET IT, you're down, hip, emo whatever, just please stop wearing eyeliner!!!!

Anyway, my car was going nuts today, but now it seems to be doing okay. Now I am just confused. Right now I filled the radiator with water, but I have to get it out and fill it with coolant. If I can find the spigot on the bottom, maybe I can do it myself without going to the mechanic? We'll see. Im interested in doing it myself.

You know, I originally brought up the Green Day thing because this guy I used to date, The Captain, once sais that the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" was applicable at the moment. I was amused and annoyed at the same time because here was Mr. Pathetic, all mopey and stupid about his life and at the same time I was annoyed that we were together and yet he still crying his "Im so alone" theme. What a douchebag. I wish him many constipated nights.

If my car blows up, I will post.

:: Jane Dee 12:01:00 AM [+] ::
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Weeks Going By...

It's been about a month since the wedding and I am definately glad it is over. It seems that everyone had a good time and I am sort aproud to announce that the wedding itself came out to $1451! I didnt include the marriage license fee, but with that, it comes to $1549! Am I brilliant or what? And I still had ice cream left over!

Okay in any case, I am sitting at work now because I just came back from the social secuity office to change my name. When I was pulling out, the dashboard tells me my coolant is low. Im confused because I just checked it a couple of weeks ago. Well, I blast the heater and I am able to get to work, not without the car having to be restarted almost at the home stretch. I am able to pull into a parking spot and I am waiting for the car to cool down when a mobile mechanic stops by to help. Well, he fills the tank and gives me his card, and a few minutes later, the car is puking the coolant all over the ground. So now I am annoyed because I am not sure if I should drive the car home and monitor the levels like I did to get to work or call that guy or trash the car or something. It is ten years old. The problem is that I wanted to buy some furniture this weekend and I was going to put a big charge on my credit card for that, but now I am reconsidering because maybe I should use those monthly payments to get a new car. Or newer car. I guess I should talk to the hubby. Maybe he can help.

Its been THREE YEARS since I finally graduated and I am still contemplating what to do. Obviously I am not going to try to move up at fedex anymore. Thats done. I am still thinking about school. What I do want is a better or different job. I was thinking about becoming an OTR driver with my husband. Ive thought about that for a while now. It would be fun to drive teams with him. I can bring my cat too, lol! We'd make more money than we do now and we would have less expenses since we wouldnt be at home. Its something to consider.

In other news, my mother and father are at it again about the house. This time my father wants to get rid of my mother once and for all. She told me they went to court and they have a new court date in June. She asked me if I want to buy his share. I said I would for $180,000. I don't really want the house because it needs quite a bit of repairs. Not to mention its full of my mothers "junk." If I bought it, I would have to live there until it's fixed up. It's a nice house and I would want it, but I don't have plans to live in NY anymore and if I did, I'd rather live on Long Island. I feel bad for my mother a bit because she really wants to live in NY but I dont think there is much I can do for her. I would rather buy a house out here than use up my mortgage money on my old house. If it were up to me, I would have her sell it and she can move out here and get a nice house for $150,000, maybe even one on my block. But she doesnt listen to me and she is so hung up on NY. Who cares about NY, what the hell is so great about NY? I should correct myself, its NYC. I like Long Island. Ugh! This whole thing is stupid. She should just sell it. She wants to be a prisoner of my father and that house forever. And I give her all sorts of good ideas and I tell her she can live here but it's not good enough, so whatever. I cant keep saying the same things over and over. If she wants to be stressed out until the day she dies then so be it.

Thank God its a three day weekend. I need a break.

:: Jane Dee 11:16:00 AM [+] ::
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One thing Ive wanted to do:

Your result for What's your key signature?...

B Minor

Hey, what's an emo's favorite key signature? B MINOR LOLOLOL

Congratulations, you’re B Minor, which is surprisingly not the depressing key signature, as the pun up there would indicate. B Minor is the equivalent of a crazy guy on a rooftop shouting at the top of his lungs angrily during a fireball storm in a war zone. It’s the key you turn to when you want something angry and rocking. The key isn’t too hard to play in for most instruments, but guitars and bass guitars can really slash it up on B Minor if they know what they’re doing. Sure, you could be forlorn and quiet, but who the hell wants that when you could rip the heads off some innocent bystanders?

All right, dude. Calm yourself down and read this, I know that description got you all pumped up and ready to rip the heads off some innocent bystanders. This is the key of aggression and power, and with great power comes great responI’m going to stop before you rip MY head off.

SONG EXAMPLE: The finale from the musical Godspell. (Only B Minor could make the death of Jesus seem like it’s a fucking rock concert.)

INTERESTING TIDBIT:

* One of the most popular compositions for guitar of all time, Concierto de Aranjues, is in B Minor. And even for a nylon stringed acoustic song, it rocks your socks off.

Take What's your key signature? at HelloQuizzy

now on to the other stuffs

:: Jane Dee 1:10:00 AM [+] ::
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I'm Married

And I guess that's all I have to say for now, ha!

:: Jane Dee 12:51:00 AM [+] ::
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Three Weeks To Go

So my wedding is in about three weeks and I am working everyday to get everything done. The funny thing is that I sent out all these RSVP cards and I only got a few back. Only one from my side! How annoying. Is it too much to ask to send back the damn card? I even paid for the postage. Well, I said that the favor of a reply was desired by April 15. Hello, if you dont RSVP, dont show up. I wont let you in. And dont think Im kidding either.

So far, with me and the groom, there will be about 20 people. Thats about half I was expecting. I guess it will be okay if less show up. Less $$ on chair rentals and food. And since I am paying for everything, thats a good thing for my bank account.

Right now I am looking to buy a new memory stick that I can use at the wedding. I think I will opt for the 8Gb so I can record about an hours worth of video. Not that I will want to watch any of the wedding over and over, but I like to archive. I found a good deal on amazon. Hmm, maybe I should sell my 1Gb sticks then if I buy this one?

On the do-to list is mending my dress, making the bridesmaids jewelry, and figuring out what food to make, but that part is hard when not everyone sent back the rsvp. Oh well. Generally, there will be the cake, but I am going to make kabobs. That way I can satisfy everyone. I can have tofu, shrimp, chicken, and beef. Im planning having stuff like fruit and yogurt and stuff like that.

The grass is doing okay. Its grown in quite a bit, but not completely. I guess I will have to make do. I am assuming there wont be that many people unless they want to crash my wedding. I better see the rest this week! Gosh this annoys me to no end...

:: Jane Dee 2:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Gone are the days of frequent posts?

Perhaps.

It's already the end of March and I am getting married in about a month. I haven't done much else but get the backyard in order. The grass is growing in finally and I hope it cover at least most of the yard by the time the wedding rolls around. Ive been busting my ass trying to fix that yard and since no one really reads this blog anymore, I have a lot of freedom in saying stuff.

First off, I must say that I dont even care for a wedding! It was all his idea. If it were up to me, I would just get the paperwork done in City Hall. I am not excited about whatever is left of my family showing up, although it's nice that I finally made up with my sister. It sucked not having anyone but now I feel better. Anyway, whats annoying is that it was all his idea, but I get stuck doing all the labor. Not that I am totally complaining, but its kinda shitty this way.

I enlisted my mother the task of making the dresses and she measured me and then right before she sends it she says "I made it smaller, I hope you lost weight." Why the hell would I lose weight and why does she keep pestering me about me being "husky" when I am not. Yes I am muscular but so what? It's a moot point because it didnt prevent me from finding anyone. So who cares? She claims that I was never this way and that I only started getting big working at Fedex. Oh yeah sure like she knows me anyway. First of all, I was skinny as hell in high school because I had an eating disorder, not because I was always that way and suddenly grew mannish muscles. Ive always been heavy (and when I say heavy I mean muscular thus weighing more not fat), that is just the way I am. Secondly, she never noticed my muscles until a month ago when she measured me for the dress and actually felt my back and arms. If you were to look at me only, you cant tell I'm 5'2" and 140 lbs. Well, too bad for her the dress fits fine.

Work is a whole other issue. I dont even think about it anymore. Lucky us, none were laid off. Although I wouldnt mind if some jerks were fired, har har. Because of the "economic conditions" of the universe, I have been thinking of new career paths. Yeah Im sure someone who knows me reading this may snicker at this statement. "Oh yeah there she goes again with her big ideas pffft." Well fine that is a fair response given my lackluster career moves. I would like to say in my defense that the only way I could get anywhere in life was to get out of my house and move far away. Lucky me I met someone really awesome so half the battle has been won. Now that I am here in Arizona, I have to take advantage of my residency and go to school. For what is the issue. I still plan to try for the MBA, but I may add some kind of twist to that. I like to aim high and all that you know.

What annoys me is that "the wedding" is taking so much of my time right at the moment I want to try and do something new. Whats even worse is that I fear that since it wont be super glamorous, or glamorous at all, that those who come will be dissapointed or make fun of my efforts. Well I hope that's not the case. I will have you all know that I alone am paying for my own wedding. Can you believe that? My family is so messed up that I have to pay for my own wedding. Good lord. Well I hope no one makes fun of my buttercream roses. I am not the best at everything.

So I have this stack of books just sitting on the floor next to me because for some reason I think reading these books will help make up for my shitty education courtesy of City CHOC-ollege. You know I was thinking about that school yesterday or something and man what a crap-hole. If I would have felt satisfied never having to go to school, I'd not be thinking about that stupid school. I kinda feel bad for City College because it tries so hard to be a real school, talking about all the Nobel Prize winning alumni but in reality it is very crappy. NOT as crappy as LIU-Brooklyn, but its in that arena. I wonder if they ever fixed the science building or if its still not up to code with all the asbestos and walls crumbling. I once got stuck in an elevator at City. That was a hoot! Sometimes, I envy all the people who have normal families and support their kids in putting all their efforts in getting into good schools so they dont have to deal with what I went through. I still like KCC and I still send them alumni dues!

You know what else annoys me is Facebook. I dont know why anyone adds me other than the like, six people that actually know me. I guess its my fault, I checked Im on there to network. Maybe two people actually contact me through there on a regular basis. Everyone else is just there. One person contacts me, asks me questions, and when I ask some back she says that facebook is turning into twenty-questions. Uhm, you asked first you turd. And its cliche, not tooshay.

hm, I seem a bit snippy. I guess it also doesnt help that I am the "Lead-On Sales Coordinator" for the Phoenix Ramp and my job is to develop sales leads and enter them in and follow up. Well the ding-dong sales reps at Fedex sure are stupid. I think that they had it good for so long they dont know what to do to keep the existing customers. Im not even going to get into it here, but do know they piss me off.

Well, enough rambling, Im off to bed at an early 3:36am.

:: Jane Dee 12:19:00 AM [+] ::
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See How I Forget

Eh, This is just to be consistent...

:: Jane Dee 1:17:00 AM [+] ::
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Posts In Real Time

Well this has been an interesting month! Something happened to me that hasnt happened to me (normally) before: I was proposed to and I accepted!

Ive actually had two awkward proposals, if you could call it that, happen to me before. However, both were thrown at me when I was already broken up with the person. How stupid is that? Anyway, who cares. All I know is that I found someone who really loves me and cares about my feelings and doesnt take me for granted or advantage of me. And I find him quite attractive. Hurrah!

I guess this also means that I wont be moving anytime soon. It also doesnt help that the housing market sucks. But its okay, I like 'Zona enough. Im just glad I get to hang around Scottsdale all day. I also hope that Fedex doent tank. They havent had any layoffs, but who knows. Just keep hopin' and prayin'.

:: Jane Dee 11:30:00 PM [+] ::
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