Welcome! This blog is Retired. However, you may still enjoy some of the finer pages of vintage online ramblings out there! Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log, people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like. Blog officially retired 02.14.2021
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I would make something somwhere that interprets these thoughts of things that persist.
Why the hell does she keep my mail?!?!? I HATE THAT!! UGHH!
:: Jane Dee 8:26:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh well...
I guess I have to do my stats homework.
:: Jane Dee 6:31:00 PM [+] ::
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MEEEEEGGHHHHHH!!!!
Why do I always run out of stuff at the most inopportune times? I ran out of highlighter! This makes the second highlighter I went through this semester. Stupid cheap highlighters!!
:: Jane Dee 5:53:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.30.2003 ::
Ohhhh.....
It appears as if my dilemma has taken a new twist. I got my psychology test back today and by the grace of God, I scored a 90. Now listen people, I really don't know how I got that score, but I had to rethink the whole withdrawl thing. So there I am, thinking and thinking about what to do. The question wasn't about "Will I get a bad grade vs Can I live with a W"; it was now "Do I stay and get an A most likely vs Do I want to withdraw if I value my education in psychology"
Now that was a tough decision and I had 40 minutes to decide it.
Apparently I have my eye on the prize (grad school) and I'll take a slight lack of knowledge over a W. End of story.
Now in other news, I had a pet Blue Loster that was purchased only three days ago. I had put it in my fish tank last night and when I woke up... he was dead! I was mortified! There lay my beautiful blue lobster on his side and when I reached in to get him, I felt his stiffness. The poor guy. Thank goodness I didn't officially name him yet because I would have cried.
When I went back to the store all they said was that it must have been the ammonia in my tank (even though I had just cleaned the tank and did a water change) and that they don't guarentee livestock. I was like "UGH!!" I'm never going back there again! Now what do I do??
Now I sit and contemplate stuff.... yes yes I know I should be reading about the lymphatic system, give me a break OK????
:: Jane Dee 8:07:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.29.2003 ::
!@#$% PANDA Part II!!
THIS IS TERRIBLE! What am I talking about? My psychology class that is what!
I have a dilemma:
My psy prof is the worst excuse for a prof. He doesnt teach a damn thing and talks about his family all day. He doesn't go over the material because he is a Piagetian who believes that we should be "active learners" and basically translates to we read all this crap on our own and do all the work by ourselves. If we have a question, he says we should ask. Well, when I ask, he goes off on a tangent for about 20 minutes on something else than ends with "Did that answer your queation?" Of course I just nod my head because I have no clue as to what he is talking about and just want him to stop!
Okay so now the question is Do I drop? or Do I stay?
If I drop, I definately won't make dean's list because I would only have 13 credits instead of 16 (15 is needed for Dean's List). I would also have a dreaded "W" on my transcript which may bring bad luck to me when I get reviewed by a grad school board.... they would say something like "What is this W about"... and what will I say "Oh the prof was an idiot"? Yeah right.
If I don't drop, I will get increasingly frustrated and lose interest in the material which may lead to lower grades. If I stay, I could get a C (yes it is possible) and that would be more detrimental to my grad school hopes than a W followed by an A sometime later. Not only that, it would ruin my fragile GPA (low grades can do big things to a GPA!!) making it even more difficult to think about grad school.
After much thought, I figure that it would be best to drop. I just can't stand a prof who doesn't want to help me and is threatening my GPA. This is quite annoying.
Okay look, don't think I have some screws loose, but I got a 94 on my physiology test (worse than the first one) and to make matters worse, I could have at least gotten a 96 if I didn't get all dyslexic on the test and think "d" is a "b". STUPID PULMONARY VEINS!
Not only that, I was in the library all night studying for my psychology test tomorrow. I so know I'm only going to get a B in that class because the prof is a total jerk. He doesn't teach all he talks about is his granddaughter and how she says "Cindy -ya - ya" for Cinderella. ARGH! I can't take it anymore! I hope I don't do poorly because thursday is the last day to withdraw.... but even so... if I withdraw, grad school will be all on my case about it. I have enough crap to show them from City College! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!
:: Jane Dee 8:45:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.27.2003 ::
I'm back whoo hoo!
My mini vacation has served me well. Now I can get back to sleep deprived, anxious me again!
As of now, I am studying developmental psychology. Now I don't like to make fun of professors but this guy is the pits! He doesn't teach a damn thing and we have to learn all the stuff in the book on our own. Then when we ask a question, he goes off on these ridiculous tangents that are just so... !!!! I am worried because I only got an 86 or so on the first test and if I get a B in this class, I can kiss all hope of using this major for grad school goodbye! So perhaps I will do as I did before and wake up early (5am) to squeeze in more study time here.
But let's not forget that I have an anatomy test Thursday too. Great, now I'm getting nervous.
Okay it's off to work I go. I'll be back when the sun goes down (far down) again.
:: Jane Dee 8:00:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.23.2003 ::
Sighhhh....
I decided to take a mini break from school. I didn't study after my physiology test on Tuesday, I didn't study or stay after school on Wenesday, and I certainly didn't study or stay after school today (Thursday). No, I'm not going crazy or dropping school or nothing, because if I didn't do this, I would have a mental breakdown. I'm not joking.
My bio prof asked me what was wrong... I told him that I was about to crash and it was equivalent to when windows gives you the "blue screen" before it goes into oblivion. Despite all this, I managed to only get three wrong on the multiple choice part of the test. Whew! That means I can still get over 100 if I got the extra credit right. I think I really need to calm down about my studying. I don't want to have a breakdown you know.
The funny thing was that the night before this last bio test, I felt my nerves twitching in an ominous way. Then as I went to sleep, I kept sitting up and fiddling with anything that was around me. So what I mean was that I went to bed then two minutes later, my nerves would get overloaded and I would "have" to sit up. Then when I sat up, I had to "fix" my hair, or look at the buttons on the clock or check to see if my glasses were still where they were the last time I checked. It was like I had a widespread tic. Well, it has passed thankfully. I did however, skip out of my women's health issues class to study my physiology. It was well worth it because I was able to assimilate the Frank-Starling's Law of the Heart (CO = HR x SV where CO = cardiac output, HR = heart rate, and SV = stroke volume) into my brain. This equation was part of a four part essay that we had to answer. I thought these essays were easier than the ones on the first test. At least I didn't have to name all the platelet factors!
I don't plan on studying this weekend, which should help me recover. I do plan to reattempt to shop for things that I would like such as a 3/4 length coat, a new pair of Docs (unless I see a nice set of Timberlands in black), and some other junk. I was very annoyed to find out that my most favorite brand of lip moisturizer (cool aqua) is not available anymore. The hell!
I should add that my brain hasn't fully recovered yet and if anyone talks to me this weekend, I may sound a bit "off". Just a warning I guess.... or maybe a warning to YOU to be very pleasent around me lest you may be responsible for sending me over the edge. Yes, that makes more senese.
Just thought I'd give you that little update.
:: Jane Dee 5:25:00 PM [+] ::
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ohhhh I'm sorry!!
I have to make an apology to G. Yes, I guess my day was not good enough and it looks like I took it out on you. :(
Please forgive me.
In other news, I am at home (suprise suprise) because the library was too crowded. It appears as if everyone decided to start studying for midterm now.
I will keep you posted on my progress, because we all know how much you people care! (pffft)
:: Jane Dee 5:06:00 PM [+] ::
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Tell people one thing and they do another
Okay I think I have come out from a stint with the "dumps" to which I have visited these past few days. Apparently I am having a problem with my classes. I think I took too many for no reason and now I am feeling it. I have noticed that is is extremely hard to get out of bed in the morning, even after five hours of sleep (trust me that is a lot). I also find that I just cannot stand to do anymore meaningless work. What I mean by that isthat I don't know how much longer I can stand classes like stress management without ging crazy. This is definately starting to take a toll on me.
I would also like to complain about a certain person whose name starts with G. Look, I asked you not to sneak up on me in the library and you still do it. Do you realize that we cannot continue carrying on like this? I need my privacy and I don't feel like having you knowing my coordinates every minute of the day. No, it doesn't make me happy to see you in school. School is the only palce I can be alone and that is important to me, okay?
Now I just sound like a nagging bitch.
ANYWAY, I'd like to do good on tomorrow's physiology test. I am extremely worried about it as usual and think I'll do bad. Yes, I know I am illogical, but until this semester is over, I will continue to be illogical. So there. Unfortunately, my tolerance for stress has dropped dramtically and these seemingly benign pressures are ripping me to shreds.
Then there are the other things in life that make me stressed out. Those I won't mention though. Too many people out there who want to get all up in my business. Let me rephrase that... there are a few people out there who want to get waaaaaaaay up into my business.
I see that I am givingmyself a headache. Nice. Okay, now lets go and study the heart and arteries and veins... oh joy!
:: Jane Dee 1:07:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.16.2003 ::
YANKEES WIN! HAHAHAHA
Poor Boston... PFFFFTTTTT!!!
:: Jane Dee 9:28:00 PM [+] ::
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THE MARLINS TAKE THE SERIES AFTER A 3 GAME DEFICIT?!?!
AARRRRGGHHH CUBS!
Okay maybe next time... I mean next century! ohhhh...
:: Jane Dee 4:29:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.15.2003 ::
As I keep doing my work
I find this neat EKG game. Cool.
:: Jane Dee 2:56:00 PM [+] ::
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Well, I am happy I completed my book report. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Cool.
Now on to the next task: SHOWER!
:: Jane Dee 3:45:00 PM [+] ::
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Before I go to bed
I would like to comment on this book that I am reading for my Women's Health Issues class.
It is a great book. Very clear and easy to understand. Maybe too easy to understand. As I sit here and read it I realize all the things said can apply to me in some way which is kind of scary. It makes me think about the times when I felt most inadequate... I don't dwell on these things anymore but I certainly forget where they come from sometimes. It's nice to know that there is hope.... I was just saying today how wonderful it feels to know that my time is coming and that it feels so exciting to get a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel... that long dark tunnel. It was so inspiring that I created a vision in my mind a copy of that glimpse to which I will try to work on drawing tomorrow. It was a sight to behold.
Anyway, I don't want to dwell too long, but I did realize that I am more powerful than previously thought. I actually have the power to tell the future and well, let's just keep it as that.
Another interesting thing was that I was able to get my physiology notes done and read most of the aforementioned book. However, I still have a long list to complete tomorrow: finsih the book and write that report(ugh), go through my test topics in the syllabus and write out the answers (ughhh) organize my lab notes and at least write out what will be on the next test (ugghhhhhh), and lastly, do my stats assignments (UGHHHHHHH). As you can see, I have not had a fun-filled weekend that would have been better spent, and I don't know why I have this desire, in Hershey Park. (??? I don't know either)
I must also make a couple of phone calls tomorrow/today. There are certain things I need to check up on. Hopefully I can do all this without going crazy. Well, at least on Tuesdays I start classes late. Which brings me to my next pipe dream: seeing the Orinids. I am seriously thinking of seeing them because they can be seen before midnight... I mean, I can see them on Sunday night too, but they are supposed to be at max on that monday. However, that tuesday is also my next physiology test. Hmm and more hmm.
ok, im falling asleep at the wheel... ihope i can get up early! Thank God for coffee.
Apparently yesterday's headache turned into a migraine and I wasn't too happy about that. My neck and shoulders still hurt but my head has pretty much stopped throbbing. I was a bit queasy today but that went away too.
Sometimes, I think I stress myself out too much. Too bad I can't just take a(nother) vacation. If I could go anywhere right now, I'd say I'd want to go to
:: Jane Dee 5:38:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 10.09.2003 ::
By the way
I don't care what PacSun says (they have been jammin' since they were in JHS), Lillix is not a good band.
:: Jane Dee 8:01:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh no!
Donna C has tendonitis!
:: Jane Dee 7:42:00 PM [+] ::
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Ohhhhh
WHAT is going on here? I studied my veins and srteries and yet I still managed to miss some. ARGH. The good news is that my physiology (lecture) 94 is actually a 94. I asked him if the scale was 100 and he has extra credit available or is it actually a 110 scale and my 94 is an 85. He said no and told me to stop "fussing." Easy for him to say! He already has his PhD.
Anyway, I gave myself a headache stressing over this quiz (but it wasn't a migrane!). I hope that I am imagining my "horrible" score and that I got an A anyway. That would be greaaaaaaaat.
So I sit here and hope my headache goes away. Right now I am dreaming about going on a make up shopping spree. Well, at least I'd like to get new makeup because I'm tired of my old eyeshadows. I am hoping Revlon comes put with a new limited edition color palette of creme shadow. I would also like to go to Sephora and see what they got. Since I have a thing for Ralph lauren perfumes, they have a new fragrance called blue. I was thinking about buying the Romance Tender Notes, but I recall it not smelling nice on me. Maybe it was another scent. However, I don't have Glamorous Daylight so maybe I'd go and check it out ... but I think I'm going to be busy this weekend. Sighh. I want to have fun! Oh poo, no fun for me :(
Okay, now I'm mad! I got a 94 on my physiology test and... what you say? WHY am I upset? Because he scores it out of 110. You can thus look at it two ways a)that it's really on a scale of 100 and everyone has a chance to get 110 because he doesn't tell you what extra credit is or b) it's really on a scale of 110 and my 94 translates into a 85.45... I think it's the latter.... and I am at a B!!! DAMN!
Okay another horrible, horrible tale unfolds! Not only do wretched basophils cause allergies, it seems pesky eosinophils do too! DOUBLE DAMN!
NOW what am I supposed to do??? HOW and I suppused to go to the research library and study for school? I mean, shold I take my 3 ton bookbag on the train to the research library in Manhattan and get what I need there, then go across the street to NYPL and study? Is that possible? Is that sane? How do these things happen to me? I wish I has a switch that could turn at least 1/3 of my brain OFF. It's always making me do crazy things that it fancies for the moment and never gives me a say in what I want (like sleep). I so know that if I was a child now in elementary school, i'd be diagnosed with ADHD! AAARRRGGGHHH! (hahaha)
:: Jane Dee 7:58:00 PM [+] ::
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Whoa I have some bad allergies today. I think it may be because of my neighbor's decision to break ground in efforts to extend their house all the way to the end of the property. I think that is really cool except that my nose is dripping and my head is swimming!
I decided to bring up allergies to introduce basophils, a leukocyte that is active against allergens. Basophils are granulocytes that can release vesicles of histamines to the surrounding tissues and cause an inflammation reaction. This reaction can include anything from swelling (like hives), rashes, coughing, wheezing, sneezing, and lacrimal and mucous membrane secretions (great link to reproductive mucous here).
Basophils and mast cells are responsible for triggering allergic reactions. Even though not much is known about allergies and why they are so prevalent, a good understanding of allergies and how it works is here. I think I would like to do research on allergic reactions and what they do and what they cause. I would say exactly what I'd like to do research on and what my theories are, but a)I want to talk with all the cards (information) on the table b)need to have a "name" (i.e., have a master's or phd) and c) I may want to use this stuff for my thesis so back off!
Anyway, I still don't know how I did on that psychology test. I think I did better than I thought I would but we'll see. I did, however, do better on the multiple choice section of the anatomy test than previously thought. Now let's see how I did on the essay portion of that test. I know I didnt get it all right because I wrote that thromboxine A2 helps in clotting when it really is a vasoconstrictor. ohhhh well. Better luck next time I guess.
Oh! Did I mention that we met our "cats"? No? Well, in this class, we dissect cats and I was not too happy about that at first but I got used to it and quite frankly, when you cut it open, it looks the same as any other animal... so, I just imagine that it is a pig and all is well. I do have to say that the smell of the preservatives is pretty noxious... okay, maybe not noxious, but it does bother my nose. I am seriously contemplating if I should bring in a mask.
My head is swimming... I would write more but my brain is not processing anything too well right now. ohhhhh. Well, goodnight!
