:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: 12.14.2008 ::

Late Post: Better Late Than Never But Still Shitty

Last time I wrote, I was in Indy going over my interview strategy. Well, a lot of good that's done me! To get to the point, I did not get the job. I later called to ask how I did and I apparently did well. In fact, I did so well that I only lost by four points. It was also great to hear that since I am such an asset to the company that the next time this job rolls around, I will definately get it.

Right.

First of all, this WAS next time. I interviewed for this job before and didnt get it, just kind words of encouragement. Sure, I thought, next time I'll knock their socks off. I guess I did, but not as far as the guy who got it.

So as I sulked around about my performance, I realized that I now knew what it was like to lose the Super Bowl. Especially if your a team that doesnt make it in very often.

So now I am here thinking about a change of plans. I cant be a pilot because I have no money, and I cant anticipate getting another interview for this job anytime soon. (maybe in about six years or when one of them kicks the bucket) So I am back to square root of one and wondering what I am going to do with myself. I am thinking that my career aspirations at Fedex are not going to become reality and I should think of something else. What something else is has yet to be determined.

:: Jane Dee 11:14:00 PM [+] ::
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Sitting At A Desk In Indy

Right now I am sitting here in Indianapolis going over my presentation and some examples to answer the questions of the interview. In one respect, I am very excited to be here and in another respect, I am about to throw up.

Ive been working long and hard for this interview and I just want to make sure I give him every opportunity to hire me. Ive read 15 books about interviewing, Im dressing for success, Ive prepared like Im back in school trying to get on the deans list. Im pretty tired and I would like to go to sleep, but that whatever it is inside of me is telling me to keep going, keep practicing because you still have at least three more hours before you can go to sleep anyway. I may not even fall asleep at that point anyway.

I just knew I should have brought index cards. Ugh!

Anyway, my strongest point will be my presentation. I have cool pictures and animations that really drive my points home. I want them to know I am modern and can use a computer. I hope the other guys dont use powerpoint.

I guess there isnt much else to say without me rambling on about how Im nervous. It was kinda funny to see guys on the plane dressed in Colts jackets and caps. Never saw so many together at once. The water here is hard, but Ive been drinking it anyway. Its nowhere near as gross as Arizona water.

Well, wish me luck. Hopefully the next time I write I will have good news.

:: Jane Dee 7:17:00 PM [+] ::
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My 600th Post!

Ive been very busy for once and its for something good!

Ive got an interview for a trainer position at Fedex! WHOOOO!

So right now I am preparing a powerpoint presentation on the five keys to defensive driving. Ive never used power point before, but its been easy enough. Im going to see about taking some photos and video tomorrow to use in my presentation. I hope I get a volunteer, ha!

I was interviewed once before for a similar position, but I obviously didnt get it. This time is different in that I have tractor trailer experience and an impeccable safe driving record, among other things. THIS time I will use power point. And this time, I get super lucky and get to fly JUMPSEAT ON THE FEDEX PLANE! XD Ive never flown on a cargo plane before, so this will really be an experience. I may even get my room paid for, but Im not banking on it. I will rent a car to check out the area, maybe I'd have my domicile there (Indianapolis). But in any case, I hope this time, I get them to like me and I get the job.

Thats the other thing, I'd have to move to the "central region" which is Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, Illinois, etc. I am wondering if Newark would be an option since he has someone working there already. Well, we'll see. I have to get the job first huh?

When Im done with the powerpoint I think I'll post it. It should be funny. But before then you can check this out. They developed the five keys in the first place.

:: Jane Dee 12:50:00 AM [+] ::
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Post High School Recap

An old friend asked me "How did you wind up in Arizona?"

Well, for all you readers out there I will tell you. Originally formatted for an email, I think I will keep it this way. It sounds more personal:

So here is the story of Arizona. I am only sending this to you because you asked specifically. It's very long and complicated and its better that I not think about these things too much. Anyway,

After high school, I was going to go to pharmacy school in Philadelphia. That plan fell through because of a few things: it was expensive and my parents (given how dysfunctional they are) werent giving me any guidance. In fact, I was met with resistance (why, I dont know. I was also met with resistance when I wanted to go to the Air Force). The other reasons were that I was scared to leave home especially since they didnt allow freshmen to have cars on campus. So I asked my then boyfriend (whom I was dating for about a year and a half already) to come and take a look at the community college there so we could split and apartment (he was no genius so I wasnt expecting him to finish school). That didnt work because as I found out later, he has some serious mom issues.

So I decided to go to LIU. That was a huge mistake because that has to be the worst, ugliest, gross, etc., school ever. If it werent for the advice of my old Dewey orchestra teacher, I would have dropped out of school all together. So I finished one semester of LIU and transferred to Kingsborough. All was going well, I majored in math and graduated on time.

My next step was to figure out what I wanted to do. No Air Force, no pharmacy, now what? Well, I took a year off and went on a cross country road trip. I fell in love with the Southwest. During my year off I also worked at CVS and was a math teacher in Harlem. I had thought about being a math teacher but wasnt sure. When my year off came to an end, I thought that I would apply to ASU and get a math degree.

However, you must understand that during my years at KCC and after, I was having a heck of a time at home. My parents were making me crazy between the heart attack my mother had, to my father trying to bankrupt my mother, the legal issues, the fights, well, you get it. Not a fun time. In fact I had tried to move out many times but to no avail. I was really trying to finish school and I couldnt move out and go to school all by myself. And no one was going to help me and be my roommate.

So at that point ASU was not an option and I went to City College to try to finish the math degree. When 9/11 happened, my school turned into a place I did not want to be. To put it simply, I was not agreeing with their ideas about the current state of affairs. Then I got into a car accident and withdrew form the school. Enough is enough you know?

The car accident was not cool. I had no money left, and now I had no car to make any money. So what did I do? I tried to look into "careers" that would take a short time to learn in school and would give me at least a decent salary in the end so I can finally leave my crazy house. I was reading a book my sister had recommended about some woman who went to KCC and had ghosts in her house. He apparently was a nurse. I thought, "hey that is something I can do" and applied to the nursing program at KCC thinking Id be done in two years and have a job that can actually pay the bills.

I was pretty excited about the idea and my mother liked the idea for once. I was thinking "hey, I can actually get an advanced degree in this field, and they offer it as ASU!!" So off I went preparing to be a nurse practitioner and dreaming about the yellow thunderbird I will drive to my job in Arizona.

When I started the nurse program, I was liking it. It was pretty easy. I got As in all my classes except drawing (he was a total jerk and I wasnt about to kiss his ass). I studied my ass off. The way I took the classes was I took all the science classes first then I would take all the nursing classes after so I could concentrate on just that. So all was going well until I got to the actual nurse classes. That is when I learned that no matter what they said, this was not science. It in fact was utter nonsense.

Im not trying to make fun of nurses, but what kind of education is this? I wont go into detail given my endless blogging on the subject, but rest assured, this was not worth all the time and effort I had put into this. I was pissed off to high hell. I wanted to beat these retarded "professors" up. I withdrew from the program because I could not understand how anything they were making me do was going to help me be a good nurse. And I made sure I wrote that down on my "reasons for withdrawing" paper. Screw them, they need help.

Now I was back to square one, and very angry. I had it up to my eyeballs with school. I hated school (and dont have much good to say about it at this point either) and wanted to finish the damn degree already and get the hell out of this torture system. So I had a plan.

Now before I tell you about my plan, I need to backtrack a bit. Before I withdrew from City College, my boyfriend of four years decided to break up with me because I asked him "where do you see us in five years" and apparently he said we were different religiously and that maybe we'd be better off apart. Im not sure if this little blog is conveying the complexity of the emotions involved in that conversation but needless to say I was immensely pissed off. I was even more pissed off because this "boyfriend" of mine recently started work at Fedex and was always busy and on his days off we tried to plan stuff. What made me mad was that he would cancel at the last minute because his MOTHER needed him to do this and that. First of all, he has two other brothers and secondly, we dont see each other anymore. This wuss cant even tell his mother NO. Thats how our relationship was the whole time: Mommy first then maybe me if there was no one else who wanted his time. I deeply resented our relationship and when he wanted to break it off, I took that opportunity to date a previous professor of mine whom was very handsome and way smarter, hence more interesting.

This professor, who shall remain nameless, had been the object of my desires long before my "boyfriend" broke up with me. I like the attention he gave me. Unlike Mr Im-too-busy-being-cool-and-spending-all-my-time-in-the-stupid-KCC-radio-station who practically ignored me most of the time. I suppose my "boyfriend" knew I liked mr professor because he was pissed off when he saw me "all dressed up" as I was waiting to be picked up. Of course my "boyfriend" only saw me because he was stalking me and saying how "he made a mistake" and wanted to get back together. Uh yeah like I am going to get back together with someone who dropped me like a hot potato after being together for FOUR YEARS. Hell no. I had a hot date anyway.

Obviously, the professor thing didnt work out because he was a nut. That made me sad because he's pretty hot despite what Louisa thinks. After a period of being mad, I talked to my ex boyfriend here and there and he became a good source of spending money. The nursing program was taking me to the cleaners and I was practically starving myself to go to school. (More reason I was pissed off - I was paying too much money to let these assholes teach whatever the hell they wanted) In the meantime, I met someone new and I dated him for a little over a year.

This new guy was supposedly a lawyer but I guess I didnt have my lie radar on because this new guy was worse than my ex boyfriend. (If you need someone to pick out a guy that has MOM ISSUES, come talk to me. I seem to be an expert at picking them out.) Anyway, this guy was originally from Oklahoma and after he went spiraling out of control with what he was doing with his life, I asked him if he wanted to come with me to Arizona. He said "there was nothing there for him" (which was a joke because he ended up working at WAL-MART and trying to cheat "the system" to get into the armed forces - let me tell you, he was more screwed up than me!)

So after the Captain (inside joke, lolz) started getting on my nerves, I decided to start talking to me ex boyfriend to help me get a job at Fedex. I pestered him for about three months until finally! Hurrah! Dental coverage!

I was working at Fedex and going to school and still seeing the Captain when I finally got enough nerve to break it off. I assumed he wanted to break it off but was too scared to do so. Maybe I was wrong because he cried and did all sorts of annoying things to get me to like him again (like slide an engagement ring at me like it was a beer). However, I didnt see anything good in our future and decided not to fall for his schemes... like popping out of nowhere at 5am as I tried to drive away to work or buying me some bracelet from tiffany's.

While fending off the Captain, I became better friends with my ex and for a while, I thought things were going well and maybe we could be on the road to recovery. Nope. I, being the annoying gotta-know person I am, wanted to know if he was serious about our friendship and not just pulling my leg to leave me for his MOM again. He said we could talk about our relationship and marriage after I graduated (which was less than 6 months away). So fine, but in the meantime, I didnt want him to lie and say we were "together." Of course I constantly had to set the record straight as I felt he was getting the best of both worlds: no commitment from me yet fooling everyone into thinking Im taken so I dont get no dates. That didnt stop me! HA! I made out with someone anyway and I was not sorry.

So back to the plan, remember? Yeah I was going to tell you about what my plan was when I dropped nursing. I was pretty pissed so I had a lot of energy to help me along. I did all this research and found that City College would give me the best deal on transfer credits. Meaning they would give me the most and waive the rest of the core crap because I had the associates degree. I went to City and got their bulletin and looked up all the possible BS degrees I could get. I narrowed it down to geology, biochemistry, and psychology. After a long talk with myself, I decided that the psychology degree would be the fastest degree to get and would get me out of this nightmare. So off I went.

My first semester back, I was still seeing the Captain, and I was annoyed at how annoying he was getting. For my birthday, he gave me various flavors of potato chips, corn chips, and soda. In case you missed that, HE GAVE ME POTATO CHIPS FOR MY BIRTHDAY. HELLO?!?!? WTF KIND IF GIFT IS THAT?? Oh wait, my bad, he also gave me a box of chocolate covered biscuits. Hmm...

Breaking up with him was a long process and when it was over I was pretty happy. I could concentrate on my work and school. And now wait for stupid ex boyfriend to "talk" to me about "our relationship." This really was a nightmare.

So I graduated with honors and wondered what would happen next. All the while, that conversation about my relationship with my ex never came up. Spring came and went, summer came and went, my graduation ceremony came and went, all sorts of crap came and went, and no conversation. Hum okay. So I decided that this was not going anywhere and made plans to get out once and for all. This is where my evil genius had to come in again.

I started applying to various jobs in my company but the kick was that they were in different places in the country. When those werent working out, I learned more about the tractor trailer driver position. I thought I had a good chance if I got my CDL-A before I applied. I applied for one more position - and got an interview! - before I decided to get the license using the tuition assistance program at Fedex. I passed my test on December 26, 2006 and started to apply right away. I saw an opening in Arizona and applied without delay. My dream to go to Arizona was right there in front of me!

In the meantime, my ex was trying to get a job as a dispatcher. I encouraged him, helped him put his packet together, and even helped him get a suit together. He got an interview and was offered the position a little bit before I was offered the position in Arizona. He was concerned about me taking the position in Arizona and I told him I would think about it. I then told him to take the dispatcher position. So after he signed the form, I suddenly decided that I would take the job in Arizona. Most people I knew were sad but he threw a hissy fit and that pissed me off. Oh and by the way, there was still no conversation.

By the time I had to move, there was nothing he could do about it HA! The stupid thing was that when I came back to visit not even two months later, he decides to throw an engagement ring in my face. I said I didnt want it and that we had to end this ridiculous relationship. He was all boo-hooing and crap and I was annoyed again. There I was, years after Ive been out with this guy who had all the chances in the world and decides the best time to show me his intentions was AFTER I move 2500 miles away? Is there any sanity left in the world?

As you can see, Ive been trying to get to Arizona for a while now. And after all this time, I can see I don't want to live out my days here. It is a nice state. Phoenix is kind of lame though. The only things I can say about this place is that I at least had time to stretch my legs, maybe grow some wings, and clear my mind of all the people that got on my nerves. I am currently in a nice relationship, but we'll see how long it lasts.

As for career: Im working on it. As you can see, Im not all that eager to go back to school

:: Jane Dee 12:41:00 AM [+] ::
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Economic Downturn!

How shitty! Normally I wouldn't care about this kind of crisis, but now it's personal. See, I was supposed to use the equity on my boyfriend's house to fund my flight education, but apparently the stupid stock market is making everything/one crazy and driving the "value" of houses down. Well, this imaginary value was supposed to help me get in the sky. I guess I can't now. So I'm annoyed. My only option left now is to wait even longer or go to normal school and get those easy-to-get government loans for "real" school subjects like history or communist studies.

@%$#&^% @$*&!!!!

My only consolation in this ridiculousness is that I had applied for a really fabulous trainer position recently and I hope (no I mean I BETTER) get an interview because I have ALL the qualifications and more. DAMMIT! I better get a nice invitation. Then I better get the job. This is the kind of job I am looking for. Well, we'll see. I THOUGHT that if I didnt get it I'd continue training for the flight stuff but I GUESS NOT. HUMPH!!

And I feel stupid because I was reluctant to tell everyone about the flight thing and now look. I won't even be able to do it anyway... HOW STUPID!

Ugh.

Well, at least Hawaii was nice. Tomorrow I will spend all day trying to finish up my webpage like I said I was going to do for the last four years.

Sigh.

:: Jane Dee 1:38:00 AM [+] ::
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Whoops

Missed one.

:: Jane Dee 1:37:00 AM [+] ::
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ALOHA!

Well, Ive got some news, whoo-hoo!

First off, I have finished moving all that dreaded stuff and I am free from my apartment. Now I just have an enormous mess to sift through! Like I said previously, I have Lion King stuff up for sale soon, any buyers out there?

Secondly, I am finally going to check off all fifty states off the list of "Been There"! That's right, Im going to HAWAII!!

I am going to have a fun filled week of island hopping! Im going to Ohahu, Kauai, and Hawaii! All my hard work saving and shopping at the 99c store paid off, lol!

Because of this (and the week it took me to finalize the travel plans), I am determined to finish all my unfinished business before I head off there so when I come back I can start my pilot school unencumbered. That includes posting those damn pictures on my stupid webpage. Ugh. Its making me sick already. Almost as sick as all that crap lying around everywhere in the house. It's just so hard to get anything done during the week. Its a cross between throw everything out and start over and cant wait to put everything in its place. bleh.

Anyhoo, despite having to deal with clutter everyday, things have been going well. Im set to get a full raise next round at work because I scored another perfect score on my review. Go me! Right now the volume is down because the economy is slow so we are now allowed to take days off without pay. I elected to take this Monday off so I can get some work done at home and organize all this crap already. The weekend after I finish that (which should be next weekend) I will have that rootin'-tootin' garage sale and try to get rid of all this crap.

Right now, I am just trying to find a waterproof case for my camera, but the outlooks is dim.

:: Jane Dee 11:49:00 PM [+] ::
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The End Is Near

Ive been living in my apartment for about a year and a half and this is my last month before I move in with my current boyfriend. I have to say I will miss the place. I am going to get some more stuff out tomorrow (actually today) and by the next weekend, I will get my big furniture out and be done with all this moving crap. Im kind of stressed out because it's so much work. Not to mention all the stuff I have to sift through to throw away or keep or put in the "garage sale" box. I have so much Lion King crap to unload that selling each item for two or three bucks should bring me a hefty profit.

As for the flying thing, well, it looks like I cant start until September or something. I wasnt able to schedule the class around my job for this round. I was thinking that maybe I could get a private license somewhere else and then go to that school. There are plenty of places to get a private, then at least I'd be done with that, you know? Well, we'll see. I wasn't too upset about not getting the class in this round because I am kind of overwhelmed with the moving and all. Since I can only get things sone on the weekends, I would probably need until September anyway! Sigh...

Of course, there are a lot of things Ive pushed back on the ever-present to-do list. One such item is updating my webpage to the PRESENT. Geez. It was such a task to get the new logo and layout up, I cant imagine how long it will take me to finish uploading the rest of my stuff.. actually, I HAVE uploaded stuff, I just havent made any pages for them yet.

This weekend will be all about the kitchen area and the rest of the small stuff in my apartment. It's hard to organize my room with the bed not there, but I have to try. Then I have to go food shopping. Then do the laundry. Then a million other things that I forgot to do last week. hmm.

Other than that, things have been going well here. I finally bought new glasses and Meux Meux is doing good. Speaking of MxMx, she gave me a gift yesterday... a little Mediterranean gecko! She found it for me in the kitchen and I scooped it up. It's quite cute and I will post some pictures later (of course).

I know there are other things worth mentioning, but like I said, I just havent had a chance to get my shit together.

And now Im going to bed.

:: Jane Dee 2:13:00 AM [+] ::
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Hot Day Outside

Having an outdoor job means that I have to work in the Phoenix heat. Today it was 116 degrees Fahrenheit. My job is to drive a truck into a designated area (more like, a couple of cities) and load pallets onto my truck at places that called for my services. Normally, I sit in my truck and wait for these "pickups," but when its very hot, I cant stay in the truck without it running because I need the A/C. So I have to go inside a store or someplace similar so I don't melt. What's interesting about the heat is that not only are you hot from the sun beating down on you, you also get a "hot breeze" when the wind blows and reflected radiation from the ground. I've never experienced heat from all directions until I moved out here. Im not sure for how long it will amuse me, but it's a way to take my mind off the 3-D heat when I am working outside with heavy things.

I do have some bad news: I think I am bored. Most of my life Ive been not bored but for some reason, I think Im bored. I hope that going to school will help alleviate this growing problem, otherwise I will have to get another job or a new hobby of some sort.

My other concerns as of lately are: 1)Will I suck at this flying thing? I mean, maybe I am overestimating my spatial abilities here? 2)Will it disappoint me? Because although Id finally get to try out some secret fantasy of mine, I don't want to build myself up and say "eh, it's okay." I need some passion and honestly, this is all I have passion for at this point. Would I go back to "real" school if this doesnt work out? I don't know.

Other than that, I have been reading a lot of books. I owe Scottsdale over $2 in library fines. I also think it's time to throw away my old lounge shorts Ive been wearing since high school. The butt is threadbare and has developed holes. I don't know which year I got them, but I know that many nights of studying have been logged in those shorts in high school and beyond. I have other boxers with spaceships on them but these are my favourite red plaid shorts. Even Lou noticed they were the old ones from high school. Such a shame to see them go.

:: Jane Dee 2:14:00 AM [+] ::
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Stupido

I just felt like saying that. I am annoyed that's all.

Im going home tomorrow night. Whoo-ee.

:: Jane Dee 10:27:00 PM [+] ::
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BUCKEL UP!!!

I was in Wal-Mart (Lou's FAVOURITE store!!!) buying some groceries and came across "Los Pericos" brand tostada shells and thought it would be great to make tostadas for dinner. Ive seen this brand in some Spanish supermarkets in Queens so I looked at the ingredients (to see if it has animal stuffs in it) and noticed its made with LIME! So I said "wow, these must taste awesome!" I made the tostadas for dinner tonight and saw that there was a website. I went on and before I could turn around (because I was eating as I was entering the website) I heard the website.

Los Pericos Foods Feel the quality!!!! (Yeah cuz I always feel up my tostada shells)

I thought I made a mistake with the address but it was correct. So not only do you get a dose of KTU style music, you also get some dancing sugar cubes on what appears to be engineering draft paper and some kind of bar shooting out of the parrots' feet. Without the music, and certainly without those little parrots looking at you from the corner of the screen, one could mistake the Los Pericos website for a high tech motherboard manufacturer or the US Army. But the taco shells wouldnt fit in so you may think you are looking at some top secret, futuristic taco shells that um... that uh... don't make you fat!

Holy crap! If you want an even more extravagant food/music experience go here.

CLAMATO MUEVELO!!!! ES SABOR!!!
This site has people doin' the Clamato!

In other, more serious, news, I will be making a visit to the Island to see my mother and do I-don't-know-what. I think I want to bring back a few more books and such. I also want to show her the brochure for the flight school I am considering. After this trip, I will severely limit my going back there. One, I have to save for Hawaii and two, I have to save for flight school. I'm pretty excited about the flight school. I hope the next round of classes is in the morning so I can get it done with.

:: Jane Dee 1:13:00 AM [+] ::
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I Don't See A Change

But what did change is my cholesterol levels!

When I was 17 and 18, even up until I was 23, I had normal Cholesterol. Then I started taking hormones for various reasons and that brought my cholesterol up to a whopping 251! That coupled with stress and bad diet (eating out too much because my mother had plants and birds and crap in the kitchen) led to these ridiculous numbers.

My very handsome and flawless boyfriend is a vegan and that means he does not consume animal products (on all levels, i.e., no leather, pearls, or wool, etc.). Being his girlfriend means that I have to adapt to his eating style, which is fine by me because I always like a cooking challenge. I learned how to cook some really wonderful vegan dishes, invented my own, and have been eating very little animal protien. I don't even buy any meat anymore because I would be the only one that eats it and I cook for both of us so that would be terribly wasteful. The only time I eat meat is when I go to Whataburger or Del Taco or some other fast-food joint or buy some cold cuts. I do buy milk, but I've always drank skim milk anyways. My meat consumption is probably kess than 4oz a week now.

This little change has caused me to drop a whooping 41 cholesterol points in a little over a year. Can you belive that? My latest cholestertol reading was 210, the lowest its been in four years. I am assuming that if I drop the hormones, my cholesterol will be back to normal, but they help in more ways than one so I was hoping the diet would bring it to a reasonable area. I am actually excited to see my next test. I hope it goes down but I sure hope it doesnt go up. I will definately let you know about that because if you want to drop points fast, drop the meat and start eating more soy products.

And let me tell you my fabulous boyfriend is no skinny, bird-boned, lettuce eatin' vegan. He is very meaty and cute. Ask Lou, she'll tell you.

And I have not felt deprived. I just get extremely tempted by bacon every now and then but I've always had to fight that. You know when I see an egg and cheese and sausage or bacon buscuit I just........

In other news, I went to an optometrist and let me tell you, these "health-care partners" always turn out to be such assholes. They think they are actually medical doctors or something. Anyway, my eye "doctor of philosophy" walks in the room and the first thing he says is how I need Acuvue Oasys. Huh? What? Ughhh. I hate it when they try to change my prescription. I said I liked Baush and Lomb he says he doesnt prescribe it because its no good. Yeah uh huh. Im sure he doesnt prescribe it because B&L doesn't give him a commission. Well, anyway, I tried his stupid Oasys lenses and they suck! Almost as soon as I tried them on, my right eye was feeling funny and I kept squinting. I told him that and he says that "you have to break them in." WHAT?? What the hell is he talking about? That is why you measure my eye, asshole. Contacts are supposed to fit the moment I pop them in. Ive been wearing contacts for 15 years and Ive never heard of this "break-in" period nor have I had contacts that felt funny in my eye. But he seems to think he is the EYEMASTER (no joke that is the name of the chain) and knows best and also told me that its normal that the lenses feel worse by the end of the week... uhhh so okay then when is the break in period going to kick in??? Helloooo! Why do optomestrists think they are so smart? What he says doesnt even make sense! Ugh. Anyway, I wore the lenses for about two and a half days because I CANT READ WITH THEM. On my job, I have to read tiny little numbers and input them on my PowerPad (a device we use at Fedex to pick up freight) and with his supposed great contact lenses I couldnt see shit up close. Sure I can see far away but I couldnt read the numbers. Then I tried to read my book on my break and I couldnt do that either without rubbing my eye over and over. Then while I was driving I kept squinting my right eye. The same eye that I should be breaking in I guess. Well, I took them out because I need to see to drive a truck and do my job. On Monday, I have my "follow-up" (another waste of time) and I will tell him that his lenses suck and that I want the type I was wearing (Acuvue Advance) or that if he insists I get a silicone type that he make it the B&L brand because I was successful with that. If he doesnt, then I will have to call the insurance and complain about his stupidity. I bet he will be mad that I don't like the Oasys lenses and say that I did something wrong.

In other optic news, I finally found some glasses that look nice on me... now I hope this guy wont be a jerk or else I wont buy these glasses either (and spend my $600 somewhere else).

:: Jane Dee 1:00:00 AM [+] ::
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Opened Up the Comments

So let's see if it screws everything up on here...

:: Jane Dee 12:56:00 AM [+] ::
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Back Again

Continuing on the topic of civilian avaition education, I want to share another compelling reason as to why I should go into aviation, despite the not so hot outlook of the airline industry (even though Im focused on the airCARGO industry):

I took the Stanford-Binet at age 5 because my parents wanted to see if one of their kids was going to be a money-making genius. I wont tell you what I got but the comment was that I am operating at an 8-year old level, blah blah... anyway, the part of the test I totally rocked into the next dimension was the "Abstract/Visual Reasoning" section. I don't remember the whole test but I remember when I had to replicate patterns with blocks and they kept getting harder and harder until she (or was it a he?) showed me this outrageously difficult pattern that I could do, but I knew would take me like 20 minutes or something. It had like, five colors and a pattern that could only be seen if you looked at it far away. So I was said "ughhh" with a groan and he laughed a bit and put it away. I put my head down and thought "How many of these is (s)he going to make me do???" Needless to say, I scored in the "superior" range. This means I can see stuff really well! LOL! No, but it does mean I'd make a good pilot-y person. Check out this article about spatial ability and what it means. I must say, this is almost completely correct! Now you know why school is boring and TO THIS DAY I have not memorized the multiplication tables.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

:: Jane Dee 2:42:00 AM [+] ::
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हे लूकित! आईएम ट्रांस्लितेरातिंग!

Well anyway, I declare to you on thsi blog that I have reached a decision on a few things.

First of all things is that I picked a school. Two years and 2,500 miles after graduating with the 8-year plan, I have finally declared a major and a school to which I will declare it in. Ready?

School: Air Safety Flight Academy
Location: Glendale/Phoenix, Arizona
Major: Commercial Airline Pilot Option
Start Date: July 14, 2008
Cost: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ (about $65,000)

Think Im crazy? Let me give you some facts you may not know about moi:

When I was about a sophomore in high school, I started to become interested in astronomy which led me to learn about astronauts. By the next year, I was determined to be an astronaut by enrolling in the USAF and being a pilot, majoring in math or something sciency and applying for an astronaut spot. Well, the first thing I learned was that NASA's "pilots" have a height requirement that is too tall for me. Okay then, maybe, I thought, I could be a mission specialist? Well, okay then, I'd still like to enroll in the air force and be a pilot but to be a mission specialist, you need to be even more sciency, like a PhD in something sciency, not just a air force pilot with a degree. Hmm. Okay sounds okay. On with the plan...

I graduated high school at 17 and the only way I can go to school and fly in the New York City area is to go to the ROTC. Well, okay great, but one problem - my father doesn't want to sign me up. GREAT! Now I have to wait 'till Im 18 and then it will be too late for ROTC so I said "Fine! I'll just sign up for the regular Air Force!!!" In the meantime, I was hating my current school (LIU Brooklyn campus), and looking up requirments for the air force and astronauts. Well, well, little did I know that although my height is okay for a mission specialist, my vision SUCKS! Well, okay I'll just get lasik.... So of course I was spending all my time looking up astronaut stuff instead of Air Force stuff and this caused me to take a very long time to stumble on avery important piece of information: You cannot be a pilot for the USAF if you had corrective surgery on your eyes. They specifically look for the scars.

Although I can't recall the exact words I said when I saw that, but I bet I didn't say much because my mouth was probably 3 feet wide and my eyes were filling with tears. So not only did my piloting and military career go flying out the window (no pun intended), my astronaut future looked really, well, shitty. The only way to be an astronaut now was to go to school for years and years and then apply as a lowly scientist of sorts and hope they call you back. What's wrong with that you ask? Well, I may appear smart and really good at science, but I don't necessarily LIKE it! "WHAT" you say? Maybe YOU go to school for some weird sense of accomplishment, but I only go and do well because it helps you get a job. And it also makes people think you're smart and stuff like that so they don't think you are a loser. If I had no reason to go to school other than to get a job to support myself, do you think I would go? NO! Are you crazy?? School is so boring and not to mention filled with people who believe everything the teacher says. Go ahead, look at my "record" and it will show you that I have been unfairly labeled as a bad kid. Why? Simply because I didn't take crap from teachers. Why else would I leave a fancy (pfft) private school for grades 13 and 14 (aka Kingsborough)? Why else would I "take a break" from school? Because I can't stand it! Why do you think it took me 2+ years to figure out what to do next? Because I don't want to pay $60,000 to go back to "school" to do more boring crap!
(I have felt this way for a while; here is an excerpt from one of my first blog entries: ">>>I got paid and my paycheck did not heal any wounds incurred this week at work, and there were many. It's always pleasing to know that I live in such a nice country that lets me get a career. Unfortunately I am unable to do what I really wanted to do, but well, I can do something just as nice. Can you imagine if I had to work at this place as a permanant job to support myself?!?!?? Oh lordy! I mean, I like working there, but it's too much work for such low wages, and I make more than minimum wage! Sheesh! School, school, school... is there another way? I don't see one.")

Back to what I was saying: my chances of being an astronaut were now about 0.

So what now? I don't know!!! WTF!!! So I can't fly in the AF because Im blind, I cant be an astronaut pilot because Im too short, and my last hope is relying on me doing something really awesome in the field of I-don't-know-what to be a mission specialist or some kind of crew member. Okay so off I went working at a math degree, no wait is it EE, no wait is it physics, no wait is it astronomy, no wait it's none of the above because I SUCK and my home life was becoming a national disaster with each passing day. Although I managed to get my AS degree, getting the BS was going to be harder than I thought between my family, 9/11, my own economic recession, and poor job prospects.

When I started blogging (the excerpt above was taken from an entry on February 7, 2003) I was about to enroll in the Nursing program at Kingsborough. Two days later I blogged about how "...After all this, I may still be able to [sic] joing the US Airforce. The basic training doesn't look THAT bad. However, the simulated sniper thing looks a wee bit intimidating. But only a wee." The conundrum going on was that if I resigned to be a "nurse" I could never be an astronaut because nursing doesnt count on the list of "approved fields of study" that would allow you to apply to be an astronaut. Therefore, I decided that I would still go to the AF anyways and figure out what to do there... maybe as a nurse but more maybe as someone who gets to be near the planes... I took a practice test of the pilot test for the AF and I scored really well. Higher than enough to allow me to be a pilot. However, like I said, I couldn't be a pilot or even a navigator because of my poor eyesight. For many years, I assumed the rigid vision requirements of the military was the same for regular airline pilots not knowing you don't have to have perfect vision to be "just" a commercial airline pilot. (More on that later.)

Instead, I resigned to the crappiness of reality and said "I need to get out of here. I need to get out of my house and far away from certain crazy people." Nursing was supposed to be a way to get out and make money and worry about the other stuff later. What happened was that I had "... to do my boring classwork which I feel is geared towards humans with low IQs, or at least a learning disability." and "My MicroBio prof says "The best way to study is not to open the lab manual while listening to KTU..." My Watered -down-physics/chem-class prof says "What is this?" [referring to a tissue] He says "It's a piece of paper. What is it made from?" A student responds "Tissue!"

I convinced myself that I was doing the nursing thing to make money and that it wasn't so bad. Meanwhile, deep down inside I felt like another loser submitting to the lure of a boring job to make a living. I can go on and on about why nursing is not for me (and why they should stop trying to pretend it is a science). You can read all about that in my archives if you'd like to. BUt to make a long story short, I left the program because that too sucked. Now for the next chapter of my life: Git 'er done (or however you are supposed to say it).

I am more familiar with the last three years of my life only because it is what propelled me to get where I am right now. I put all my wants aside and finished the aptly named BS degree in something easy. So whats not easier than psychology? Will it get me anywhere in life? No. Will it help me write down on applications that I have that degree? Yes. Well, that's all I needed to know. At the same time I started working for Fedex and became curious as to all the really cool-sounding jobs in this "transportation" industry. Oh I see, that's what you call it. Yeah that makes sense given things go from point A to point B. What? you people make how much to do what? Truck drivers make WHAT?? Yeah I could have made the money I make without the BS degree. Why am I not shocked? All the while, secretly dreaming about planes and how cool it is that I work for an airline.

When I moved out here to be a truck driver, I still wished I could have been a pilot. I knew all about the flight schools here in Arizona. I still had that mental block though; it just wasnt possible. Choosing a grad school took so long because I just didnt want to go. What happened was that I thought ASU's logistics program was available part time. It is not and after much research, I would only be able to attend ONLINE school (for the same price) unless I wanted to quit my job. Not likely. So I procrastinated. Who wants to decide which ONLINE SCHOOL they want to go to to do something that isnt exactly what they planned at a very high price? I wanted to use that degree at Fedex. And to be honest, they don't really give a crap about what degree you have. Yeah sure maybe it will get you a job, but knowing someone and investing time in the company matters more. And as it stands, I don't even have enough full-time equivalent years to even be considered. So is it worth it? I don't know. Maybe... maybe not.

My current boyfriend, whom I admire very much, is the one that put me up to this. He too wanted to be a pilot. Maybe not as long as I wanted to be one, but he had attempted it. Anyway, he does not have perfect vision and after seeing me sad one night and after I explained to him a similar story I am writing on here blog, he informed me that you don't need perfect vision to be a commercial pilot, you just have to have it be corrected to 20/20. What? Lucky me, my corrected vision is 20/15... could he be telling the truth???

Yes he was/is. If I go to a civilian school, I only have to have vision that is able to correct to 20/20. I didn't believe it so I went and got a First-Class Flight Physical. This is the physical that would qulaify someone to be a commercial airline pilot. When I passed and she handed me the little card, I was more dumbfounded that I have been so dumb this whole time than over anything else. To make matters even better, my insurance paid for it!

So here I am finally ready to make my deepest dream come true. Fedex even offers tuition reimbursement for pilot school! So when I took those tests that tell you what you should be and "hands-on career" always popped up, I always thought they meant plumber.

Of course, I may not make it and I could do really bad and waste money doing this. The difference is that this is something I really want to do. The school I am going to is the only school that has part time schedules and it fits perfectly around my job so I cant at least support myself in the meantime.

So there you have it decision #1 has finally been decided.

Second of all things is that I am going to move in with my current boyfriend into his HOUSE into my OWN ROOM of course. Any guy that still wants to date me and has read this far into this posting can be assured that I do not plan on breaking up with this person anytime soon, so the best course of action is to look elsewhere. I can also assure the aforementioned guy-looking-get-me that I will not be coaxed nor persuaded to dump the current boyfriend, so don't try.

Thirdly, Im getting tired. See you later when I more decisions to drone on about.

:: Jane Dee 11:39:00 PM [+] ::
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That Last Entry Was Stupid

yea

:: Jane Dee 11:25:00 PM [+] ::
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Hi

Not much going on here. Maybe you'd like to see a video?

:: Jane Dee 2:51:00 AM [+] ::
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Headache Time!

Lucky me I have a headache! Anyways, I know I don't post results from online quizzes and such, but I thought this quiz was appropriate:

You are 73% Arizona!

 

Good job! you're almost all arizona! you understand most of arizona, but just need to figure out the rest. more time and more mexican food and you're there!

How Arizona Are You?
Take More Quizzes

Ive been here for a little over a year and I like it even through the 115 degree summers. Nothing like some blazing hot sun to get you going in the morn'. In Phoenix, I learned that it "cools down" to 100 degrees at night in the summer. I also have a farmers tan that I do not wish to share with you and yes, it is also a truckers tan (i.e., my left arm is approaching a "pecan" shade whilst my right arm is more of a golden tan). No, I have not been burned despite my ghastly appearance when I first arrived here in the valley. I used 70+ spf sunblock when I arrived and I still got tanned. I assume that if it is anything like last year, it will be about 95+ degrees by the end of this month (March). It is very interesting to have an outdoor job in the desert. When I have to prepare pallets outside in the sun, you really get aquainted with ultra-violet radiation and how easily it reflects off of concrete. I would have this funny "wiggly" feeling deep in my skin when I happen to be standing full blast in the sun with the radiation also reflecting back on me. I am assuming that is my melanin trying to block all this light and create my farmer tan.

I am hoping it slows down at work so I can get back to doing nothing.

:: Jane Dee 12:00:00 AM [+] ::
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Happy Leap Year!!

Good for me because I've been so busy that I have until tomorrow to pay my rent.

Note to Captain Kirk: Please stop trying to contact me. I don't care how great everything is, I dont need to know. The only crazy person I would ever talk to is the crazy professor. I think Im supposed to meet up with him in 2014.

:: Jane Dee 9:06:00 PM [+] ::
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My One Year Anniversary!

Hey can you believe that I have been in Arizona for a year now? I can't! It seems like I just got here. Well, I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be here because I am on a full on attack to get either a) a management position or b) a full time position so I can have a better chance at getting a management position.

I recently spent a whole Saturday (which is one of my days off) "self-studying" the "sliding clear log" and "planet station" among other things. I am also self studying some "tortes" (which I like to pronouce 'tort-eez') that my manager gave me some copies of. I am wondering still how I will fit studying for the GMAT into my curiously busy schedule. You see, at Fedex anyways, when you are a part time worker you can work full time hours. Ive heard that when you are a full-timer, you sign your life away... well, at the minimum you work many, many hours.

Another problem at Fedex is that the better you are, the more work you get slammed with. I turned out to be a pretty darned good truck driver, and thus I am scheduled to do routes in places I've never even heard of or are not even on our maps! Just last week, I had to go to a place that was out of our map drawing jurisdiction, so I just made a really good guess and I found it, on time, and made super service that day, my dispatcher was amazed (as was I... I didn't even know I could drive/navigate like that). I'd upload my planet station map, but Im not sure if that is supposed to be secret Fedex information so I guess you will have to take my word that it was a crazy day. The next stop after that was not as successful at first because I was going the right way, so I thought, and ended up on a skinny dirt road that finally ended in circle surrounded by cacti. It is quite an experience to go "off-roading" in a tractor-trailer because if you suck, fear can easily land you in a ditch. And then you will get in trouble for being an idiot.

The only present conflict I have is that I really want to participate in the Truck Driving Championships, but can't if I get a management position first. I know getting a management position may be more important, but the TDC seemed really fun. I went last year and I liked it. All I had to do to qualify was not hit anything/anyone until I need to register (this year). I haven't! Well, I guess I will see what happens. In the meantime you can check this out.

I guess I should go to bed and ponder my life some more.

:: Jane Dee 1:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Action Plan

I have some boring news and some less boring news. The more boring news is that I renewed my lease for only another 6 months and they raised my rent about $35. So to make up the difference in cost I have to drive the speed limit once again. Phooey. Well, at least I got my carpet shampooed. I can only imagine how much cat fur they drew up from the carpet.

To celebrate the latest recession, I went out and bought a double burner griddle so I can experiment with eggless pancakes. I also just discovered how to make very good vegan gravy without using gravy mix stuff. Im still working on an even fluffier cake, but my cookies have been doing well. Hoo-ray lecithin!

I recently went home too see my mother and my old room. I sat there and decided that I would like to sell off my Lion King collection. Any takers? I don't even remember what I have anymore. I thought about packing it all up and sending it to myself here in AZ, then selling it (or try to) on ebay or amazon. I thought that by the end of 6 months, I should have sold at least one thing. Either that or have a big ass yard sale.

So whats with the title you ask? Well, I am thinking about the future and I have decided to develop an "action plan" (like my corporate jargon/slang?) to follow over the next six months so I can accomplish certain things. First off is taking the GMAT. Or, at least, study enough so I can get a good score by the end of six months. The next is putting my nose to the fifth wheel and obtaining a management position somewhere. I was thinking about coming in on a Saturday or early in the day to use the intranet and so on and learn the things you need to know to apply as a manager. I have applied to my old station but that guy didnt want to take me so I will have to go elsewhere. I dont want to apply all over the place cuz I will have to fly there if I am to get an interview. Tomorrow I am supposedly on my old route so I should have enough down time to think about my "action plan." I was thinking that once it is in writing, I can show it to my own manager (who will probably wonder why I am showing her this) and see if she can "facilitate" my goal to get a new position. I would like to work with her and score a job. My other option was that if I dont obtain anything by the end of six months, I will apply for a full time position elsewhere and work on my manager packet anew. At least then I would be getting paid more.

I was going to update my page but now Im tired and want to go to bed. Tomorrow, I get to eat oatmeal and do nothing at work! Maybe I should get another part time job so I can remember what it feels like to have a crappy job.... nahh.

g'nite!

:: Jane Dee 12:49:00 AM [+] ::
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Happy New Year

Wow, so another year has gone by and I dont really have any resolutions. Maybe one is to gain weight? I should start lifting weights, you know. Currently I am 140 pounds. Yes that is correct I am 5'2" and I am 140 pounds. No, I am not obese, I can just kick your ass. Anyway, I think it would be really funny if I were even heavier.

Other than that, I dont care much for resolutions except on my digital camera. Speaking of which, I am almost ready to upload a sheisseload of pictures onto my webpage so I guess you can look out for that.

The latest news is that I ordered a hoodie from Victoria's Secret only to find out today that it is now $20 less than I paid. !!! Not cool. The only thing I can say is that I at least got a free "Spice Girls Greatest Hits" CD WITH THREE NEW REMIXES with my now overpriced purchase if that is any consolation. But is it really? what I want, what I really really want? bar har har!

What the hell happened to my webcounter?

:: Jane Dee 9:29:00 PM [+] ::
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