:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: 7.28.2010 ::

Exactly Five Pages To Go!

And three pages are just systems! This should go faster because I don't have to watch videos for these.

Hopefully I can get a lot done today. Ive been thinking about the LORs a lot and I am starting to get worried because I may NEED the profs LOR because I still haven't heard anything from the volunteer places. Sigh...

And I lost 18 pounds holy crap! I will see if I can stand to go down to 120 but I don't know if I can maintain that for a whole year! I may also have to get a new suit if I get that low, which I may not feel like doing since I won't stay at that weight when I get into school.

So Ive definately decided that Carribean school will be my last choice. After much research and fact checking, I will apply for MD and DO at the same time, then if I get absolutely nothing, I MAY apply to Carribean school. Maybe. The outlook at those schools are not very good for getting a decent residency. Descent meaning not at a crappy hospital in some crappy area (think Bushwick or Coney Island hospital, yuck).

Ive also decided that if I have to go to a school that is more than $40K a year, then I will seriously consider the NAVY program to help pay for school. I may also consider the military medical school in Bethesda, MD. But Im leaning towards the Navy program because the commitment time is less because I go to a civilian school. Of course, I can't consider the military school unless I get those LORs!!!

Sigh... Back to the LORs. I guess I need to ponder that a bit more. And I think it's back to thee digestive system!

:: Jane Dee 9:33:00 AM [+] ::
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I Am Trying To Move Fast

With August approaching, I am coming up fast on my vacation and I am determined to finish these biology notes before I go!!! I woke up at 7am today and I will wake up early everyday until my vacation to get this done.

So I havent had any responses regarding volunteer positions. I wonder whats up with that? Im still waiting to hear back from Chandler and Phoenix, and I won't set up an appointment with Banner until I hear back from one of these. Im going to call SHC today and set a place for a SEPTEMBER orientation (because the August one coincides with my vacation) and I hope I can get something set up by October! Sheesh! There is also the chance I may get to volunteer/shadow at various clinics around here at at the Salt River place, so I guess I can see what to do about that when I get back from my trip.

So Im going to Alaska! And Im taking Meux Meux! It will be fun! I can't wait. My Jeep is almost ready to go (last minute stuff like air in tires and check spare) and I have all the food and stuff like that ready. I just have to buy some paper towels and we are good to go! The last time I went to Alaska, I was 7. Ha!

So you see why I want to be done with the biology. I would like to focus on taking pictures! Anyway, this may be my last big vacation for a long time, in case I get into medical school. I don't know if I'd have the time or money for a vacation once I get in. I guess we'll see. There is always Mexican cruise if I end up in AZ and Carribean cruise if I end up in NY or east coast.

So today I am much happier and Lou is heading off to Germany as I type. No, I think she is still at the airport. Anyways, its great she is going to go somewhere neat. I wish I could go, but Im here in Arizona studying for MCAT. Not bad, I guess.

Okay so its back to work... Immune system!

:: Jane Dee 1:22:00 PM [+] ::
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Feelin' Better Today

Im not as annoyed as I was yesterday. I am dreading the biology though. Its so tedious. Im going to try to study as much as I can before my trip. Im deciding if I should try to finish it up ON the trip. I really, really want it finished before class starts because I want to devote as much brain power into getting an A in organic as possible. Plus I need to start working on my essays, which I plan to post on here. I need at least a day a week to do that.

So my plan is still good for taking the MCAT in March. The enrollment period for March is in November. I also got the ball rolling on my volunteer stuff. I hope to volunteer at Maricopa health systems (because its close to the airport where TJ works), Scottsdale health (near the school), and a place on the Salt-River community. Im going to try to find a DO to shadow as well.

My next large and embarrassing step is to try and secure recommendations from some old professors. I have three specific professors in mind, two of which have written recommendations for me before. I would have had a better pool to work with if those two Im thinking about werent trying to get me into bed or touch my boobs. But, I have to work with what I got. Think I can get the recommendation from the professor at CCNY, but Im still not sure about KCC. Im not even sure how to approach the situation. I want to let them know I am coming so they dont retire, but I think in this bad economy, no one is going to retire just yet. Well, I will be there in six months. I am thinking I can contact the one at CCNY by email because he likes computers but I am not sure if he will remember me in person let alone on the computer. I have to think about this some more...

At least I am now about halfway through the biology. I am trying to finish up this section, but it took me SIX HOURS just to clarify one small section I thought was going to be easy. Im not sure if I am going to watch the videos for the organ systems because I think I can get it done faster if I read through the chapter myself. I will watch it for reproduction and some other stuff, but for things like heart system, lymph, hepatic, I think I will read it myself. It seems I always have to read almost everything anyways, might as well skip the stuff that is not necessary.

Its almost 10! I have to get started on this crap...

:: Jane Dee 9:40:00 AM [+] ::
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Not Happy Today

Many things are annoying me today. First off, I havent heard back from "gazelle" about my Sony. I think they said they may take up to ten days to process, I think its only been eight.

Then Im annoyed because I havent heard back from CHW about my volunteer application. They don't have a phone number so the only way to contact them is to go there. Whatever. I submitted three applications to other places yesterday. I am thinking about calling the one in Phoneix today because I want to see if they would take me sooner. It would be better if I went there so I can drop off TJ at work then go to the places, then if Im done early, I can study somewhere and then go pick up TJ from work. It would save a bit of money.

Then Im annoyed because I feel like I am taking on such a stupid task. Apparently, it almost seems like its uncool to be a doctor. Well, I guess I am used to being uncool. Doesnt mean I like it, just used to it. Im trying to stay motivated but it seems like Im losing a bit of steam. I think my vacation coming up will do me some good.

Then the other thing annoying me is that I really don't understand my family. I don't even know how I am related to these people. Most of the time I feel alone, like I was adopted or was taken care of by this family, but Im really not theirs. I guess I feel this way because my sister's birthday is coming up and I always feel stupid sending her a gift since she always "forgets" my birthday. She remembered here and there, but never consistently. I feel like I shouldnt be obligated to someone like that, but I sent her one anyway. Ive decided that I won't (and can't more like it) send people gifts anymore. This will be a very lean Christmas. Everyone can expect cards and nothing else. Funny though, only Lou sends me Christmas gifts.

I guess Im done caring about a lot of things, trying to make everything right. My family doesnt listen to me anyway. I think my sister expects me to talk to her more, but Im not in the mood to send text messages, especially when she doesnt answer. She doesnt have a real email address, just some made up name. Shes always been like that, always has to hide and make up stories and lie and dance around the situation. A relationship needs to be nurtured whether Im related to you or not. It seems like she talks to our father (my estranged father, apparently her allowance every now and then) more than she talks to me. I told her a long time ago why I lost faith in her, and told her again before my wedding. Yes I forgive and forget but that doesnt mean I will be your best friend. Building trust takes time and commitment. Not answering texts and calls, never calling me or emailing me isnt going to instantly make everything better. I don't think people understand how to be friends with anyone anymore. Maybe that is why I don't really have many friends. I guess I demand too much from people. I guess I value my time too much.

Whats funnier is that I can probably write whatever I want about anybody on here and they will never read it, even though most people I know, know I have this blog and a website. I know this is so because when I was dating The Captain, it was months before he finally read my blog and realized I never wrote anything about him. He was offended. He said "it's like you write about a life where I don't exist." Uh, yeah asshole! You don't include me in your life, what the hell makes you think Im going to include you in my world? Boy, some people are really dumb and think the whole world revolves around them.

Boy, all this complaining and its only 10am. Im not sure when would be a good time to call the volunteer place in Phoenix, but I will call today. I also might raise enough courage to ask about volunteering/shadowing at a few of the public health service places this weekend. I should be busy this weekend. I have some house repairs and letters and resumes to fix up to send out, and buy some stuff for my trip.

Other than that, I still feel crappy.

:: Jane Dee 9:42:00 AM [+] ::
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Galaxy Farts!

Sigh, so it turns out that I can't have my "W" expunged. Apparently that was the decision of the VP who would leave the "w" and refund the money. I think I would have rather have the "w" removed and lost the money. Well, at least I have an explanantion? The problem is that now I have to get a really good grade (at LEAST a B+ if they have +/-) in this class. Hopefully, I can do it.

Otherwise its been very good with the studying. I finished the three pages Ive been working on in biology and I will watch two more videos today. Some topics are decievingly simple. You think its a simple definition, but when you actually go over it, you have a ton of info you need to know. I am almost through my colored index cards and im not even halfway done yet! I assume the biology is the longest and most volumous section of the test topics.

I also put in another application for volunteering. This time it was at Chandler Regional Hospital. This one is smaller than the VA, so hopefully I can get something there. If not, I think St. Joseph's in Phoenix always has ads up for volunteering. I also want to apply at Scottsdale Healthcare. I also found out the address and phone number of PHS sites, and there is one at the Salt River community. I think I will go there in person though. Its small and I should be able to meet some people there. Then I have to send off some resumes to some DOs and hope one of them picks me to shadow them. So we'll see. I have a busy week.

:: Jane Dee 1:51:00 PM [+] ::
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I Quit Tuna Fish

I had my last can July 13 and I have switched to an exclusive sardine diet. I dont eat much fish and tuna was about all I ate. After finding out that sardines have very very low mercury levels and tuna has some rather high levels, I decided to stop voluntarily poisoning myself and quit the tuna. Oddly, I like sardines better.

Right now, I have just finished yet another page in the biology syllabus. I am pretty sick of all this studying but I hope it helps. At least now I am up to the tissues and systems, which is something I had done more recently than the mitosis and stuff.

So I guess I shold get this rice started!

:: Jane Dee 7:02:00 PM [+] ::
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Almost Halfway Through Biology!

I have finished about ten videos and I am currently working on pages three to four of the recommended study topics for MCAT. I am really aiming to finsish before my class starts. I think it is possible. However, I am going on a trip for two weeks and I am not sure if I will be finished before then or will have to finish on the trip!

I have also lost 15 pounds! Im well on my way to my goal of 120 for interview season at med schools, if I get any of course!

Tomorrow I go to SCC to get my grade expunged because I already got the refund. I don't think I should have a problem.

I am also awaiting response on the value of my VAIO because I traded it it! I hope to get $52, but we'll see. The computer was delivered yesterday. Keeping my fingers crossed...

Other than that everything is pretty normal so far.

:: Jane Dee 12:02:00 PM [+] ::
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ARGLE-BLARGLE!!!!

I just finished my enormous study session of almost EIGHT HOURS!!!!

My fingers hurt from all the writing! I hope I can finish this biology stuff before school starts!!!

Oh man, I am so hungry, I better mnake dinner!!!

:: Jane Dee 8:36:00 PM [+] ::
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Moving Along

Hurrah I finished video 6! Now I am up to Fungi and bacteria. This one looks short so I think I can do another one on viruses. I really hope I can get most of this done before ochem starts!!! That would be the best!

Next year I am going to take a road trip back to NY and visit my family and take the last bits of my stuff. I am not sure if I am going to take the fridge... I want to, but I am not sure I need it but if I do, I don't want to buy another one either. I only have a few books and videos left and some knick knacks that I will probably wind up leaving behind anyway. I also wonder if I should take my filing cabinet. TJ needs one and I could use it for my laptop when I study. Hmm. Not sure if that one will fit. I guess it could if I left the seat behind, but then I wont be able to drive anyone anywhere. Hm, maybe that is a good thing. People like to take advantage of the person with the car like they are a chauffer or something. We'll see. I think I would also like to take my trunk. I know my mother likes to put her plants on it but I think I would like it better here, haha. And maybe my ice skates? Next time I go on a cruise I can bring them! I also have blankets I would like to bring but they are so bulky I could never bring them before. I wonder what else I have...

So while I am in NY, Im going to collect all my courage to ask for letters of recommendation from my old physics professor (the NORMAL one). Its been over ten years since I had his class, but he still teaches there and if I can get one from him, I can apply to more schools. I also want to try to get one from a professor at City College. He wrote me a recommendation before to help me get into Psi Chi. He too is still there and I also plan to ask him. I know these two are long shots but its worth a try!!

I hope it doesnt snow while Im there. I am also not of when the spring semester begins... Hm it looks like the guy at CCNY wont teach anything this fall. Sooooo, is he still there? I guess I have to call and find out!

Ugh time for videos

:: Jane Dee 3:11:00 PM [+] ::
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