:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: 12.29.2003 ::

Ho hum... As if my life couldn't get anymore exciting.

Here I am studying some vocabulary for the NLN. Exciting isn't it? Yeah sure.

If I sound sarcastic it's because I heard it thorugh the grapevine about some people that I knew from high school that I really don't care to associate myself with. So why am I so annoyed? Well, I am annoyed that these "fine" people carry on and have "fun" by going to loft parties, smoking god knows what, drinking 'till all hours of the next week, and probably having more to show in thier lives than I. I am annoyed because my whole life, all I did was work... work, work, work to get money, work, work, work to get good grades and be "somebody" which has apparently not surfaced yet. I am basically in their "class" [shudders] and yet, I am on the bottom rung compared to them! What is going on here!

Sigh. Okay. I ahve to get back to reality... I am supposed to believe that there is hope out there and that all my hard work will pay me back someday. Well, at this rate, I deserve a really, REALLY, REALLY f***ing big reward because I am just about to give up here... SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I start my training next week, yeee haw! Maybe, just maybe, this will be a little piece of what I will be getting later (ahem ahem). Who knows. All I want is to have enough money to pay for school and MOVE AWAY, FAR FAR AWAY FROM HERE.... at least for a little while.

Oh drat! I also have to buy my uniform (no scrubs they repeat over and over... OKAY I GET IT!) and white shoes. PFFT! I just don't look good in white. Oh well, what am I going to do about it.

:: Jane Dee 3:02:00 PM [+] ::
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Now I present to you some fun links!

For a hearty laugh, try this.
For learning about platinum, read here for reality, then here for marketing grandeur (Is that cover girl in space? Why is her hair always out and about like Medusa?)
Spend time with that way cool cow, Elsie.
Muddy Bananas save the day against hungry monkeys
Then, read about my old elementary school. Wheeee!

:: Jane Dee 8:30:00 PM [+] ::
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Another Bright Idea by Jane Dee Genius

Not only am I great at using hazardous substances indoors without ventilation, I managed to escape frost bite and exhaustion this morning in my efforts to pedal my way to Queens. (You'd think I'd know how to dress given I got only one wrong on the winter skills quiz). I checked the weather reports and saw that there was to be a western wind up to 30 mph and temperatures at 30 degrees. Well, I must have suffered brain damage from the glue because I only wore a long sleeved t-shirt a t-shirt and my velour "cold weather" bike suit. (should have worn my ski suit). I didn't wear long underwear nor did I wear my wool socks like I had initially wanted to. "Oh your feet will be warm" I said as I supressed that inner voice saying "wool socks... woooooooool socks." I wasn't even going to wear gloves under my bike gloves (which are fingerless) until I had to come back inside to get my chain lube. I did wear my wool scarf though, surprise, surprise.

The trip there was "okay" and I pulled into the park at Canarsie Pier. This area isn't a world-class pit stop. It would probably be best not to ride on this path at all during the wee hours of the morn (I left as soon as the sky turned a lighter blue) because of all the "unsavory" folk who "live" on the path and the marshes surrounding it. I was hoping that the cold weather would keep most of the homeless ones sleeping and the thugs waiting until there was more sunlight. Well, as I pulled into the park, I scoped out the pier and didn't see anything suspicious so I placed my bike in the "flee" position (in case I had to do just that) and took off my right shoe to check for frostbite because my foot was very cold and numb. As I tried to warm up my toes, I saw what appeared to be the tips of two hoodies looking around the parking lot. I watched them closely as I kept warming my foot. One of them looked my way and they both started to walk towards me in a slight huff, probaly just fast enough as not to cause suspicion. Well, let me explain something: if a small woman like me is in an area that is "not so nice" and has no firearm and sees two larger men (I assume) walking towards her AND I also have one shoe off, the only reasonable thing to do (that is, if you value your life) is to get that damn shoe on and get out of there! Of course you must make it look like you didnt see them coming at you at all and that you are just "casually" putting your shoe back on and pedaling back to wherever it is you came from... until you turn the corner behind the bushes and high tail it out of there... That was when I decided to go back home.

Well, I was planning on hightailing it faster than 10 mph but the westerly winds gave me a kiss on the cheek and graciously added some resistance training to this morning's routine. (I wasn't too worried to go only 10mph given that if the men were following me, they probably smoke and can't run for very long, especially at 10mph). I was beginning to get exhausted by the frigid temperatures (I assume the "real feel" temp was about 10 degrees in the wind) as my "layers" were not holding up in this wind. My foot was getting worse but since I did not have any other outerwear, I could not stop pedaling or face hypothermia. (ooooh gorp!)

Thus, I pedaled and pedaled some more, against the wind topping off at a speedy 8mph. I took the "short" way home (by Flatbush) and was praying that I would not collapse on the street. All I could think of was car service, trains, busses, or magical faeries that would expedite my trip back home to my warm bed. None such luck. At red lights I would gently stamp on my toes to try and keep blood flowing and this helped rebuild my stamina for a short while. When I saw Ocean Parkway, I lungfull of warm air entered my body and I felt I was able to overcome my ill preparation of my outdoor adventure. As I coasted down my driveway, I was never happier to be home. Well, at least until I was able to close my bike lock with my numb and stiff digits and brachii so I could open the door.

I wasn't stable enough to take my own temperature - I wish I did though because I would have liked to see if I had hypothermia. However, I tried to get warm under the blankets but I guess I was suffereing from afterdrop because all I was doing was getting colder. I had to alternate blankets placed on my space heater that were warmed and placed on the cold parts of my skin. That method took me an hour to finally warm up to a workable temperature and was able to generate enough heat on my own under the blankets to keep me warm. Then I fell asleep and woke up to a warmer me. I will not hide the fact that all my pedaling had created multiple muscle aches to muscles that never ached before from cycling. Not only that, I have dry skin, dehydration and a general "Blah" feeling from me supressing my CNS two days this week. I am really asking for brain damage here, huh.

OW Damage Assesment

Sore:(*=very sore)
*Gluteus maximus (R,L)
Gluteus medius (R,L)
Biceps femoris (R)
Sartorius (R)
Pectineus (R)
*Vastus lateralis (R,L)
Vastus medialis (R,L)
Trapezius

Dry:
Hair
Skin (esp arms, legs, face)
Lips

However, I have to monitor myself for a day or so to see if I am to come down with some horrible sickness due to my "day of fun in very cold temperatures." This will be a good indicator of how well my immune system is functioning. I must also keep my promise as a response to my prayer in that I will not ride in this cold wind again. Perhaps one day when I can purchase a nice colder weather suit I will, but for now I will have to find other means of burning calories. Not only that, I just dont think my brain can take another day of supression without some adverse effect. It will get me back for this, I know it.

:: Jane Dee 7:34:00 PM [+] ::
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SIGH!!! (that is a loud SIGH)

My TV is broken and that means I cannot watch Football... WHAT AM I MISSING!!!! AARRGGHH!!!!

To satiate my appetite I found some things at espn.com:

A neat-o football game thing AND it includes chocolate

Update stuff (who? what? HUH??? IM LOST!!!)

FIGHT AT THE HAWAII BOWL! POLICE USE EXCESSIVE FORCE? (who the hell is Timmy Chang??? OMG! They have ACADEMIC STANDARDS?!?!)

And of course the fabulous Jets... ahem not this!

And other sports related thingies.... Jeff Conine is adorable! HAW HAW! Check out his 8x10 glossy! :P

:: Jane Dee 12:13:00 AM [+] ::
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Oh yeah...

And whilst I was "high" all I wanted was a Stuckey's Pecan Log. Go figure.

:: Jane Dee 10:41:00 PM [+] ::
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Update on The "Elmer's High" Blog

Well, I'm glad I came down! Guess what helped me come down.... a muddy banana! I had this banana on my desk from when I shoved it in my bag when I went to Rhode Island. It got all bruised and I didn't eat it because I dislike muddy bananas. Well, as I was "high" in my room I grabbed it and ate it. When I finished it my stomach tensed up so much and it hurt very bad. Then, a few minutes later, I heard "chimes" in my head and the cloud was clearing. I started to blink as if I were awaking from a long sleep. My headache went away and I was beginningto feel "normal."

And they said "stay away from bananas!" Please, what do they know. I bet they didn't know it cures a glue high!

In any case, my Christmas was dull as usual. I seemed to have gained three pounds... that is not cool. I do plan on riding my bike for the next few days to get rid of it. I think the ride to Cross Bay Boulevard should prove helpful assuming I don't get run over by a car on the Belt Parkway.... I don't think they paved that part of the path still... well, we'll see.

I have been trying to study for my NLN exam but kept getting phone calls and the like. Seems as if I'm going to have to unplug the phone or keep the computer on all day. Either that or skip out to the library to hide. Maybe I'll do both. I really don't ahve to study much, just the vocabualry part. However, I really don't know what I can improve in 15 days... well, maybe I can get aquainted with a few words and jusy figure out what they mean. It's not like I'm going to do bad and not get into the program... right? Oh lord, now I'm getting nervous. Well, I best be going now.

:: Jane Dee 10:30:00 PM [+] ::
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An Elmer's Induced Headache

Today I decided to finish my art mounting project utilizing the rubber cement I bought just for this project. As I started to use it, I started to get a headache. Then it got worse. Then, I started to get nauseous. Then, I read the warning label again:

"Extremely flammable. harmful if swallowed. avoid vreathing vapors. exposure may result in nausea (check) headache (check) confusion (check) or instability (sorta check) and may irritate eyes skin or chest...."

Then, I started to hallucinate. My cat started talking. Apparently she was hungry and I fed her after sitting on the floor for ten minutes and her meowing at me... or was it talking? Hmm. Anyway, I fed her and then I did most of the talking. I think we were talking about ants and then Bob Villa came by and he said stuff about carpenter ants. Then I sat by the donuts I made (much better this time around) and I think they were mocking me but I'm not to sure. Then I sat back down on the floor and was trying to remember why I was in the kitchen. I think I wanted to get coffee. Then I was trying to get up and get an Excedrin for my headache (because this feels exactly like a migraine) but that took me a long time. Then when I got to my room, I was confused about why I was there for another 10 minutes. Then I managed to get the pill out of the bottle and go back downstairs to take it. Then I was standing in the middle of the kitchen for some amount of time deciding how to take the excedrin. I don't recall too much of what happened after that in the right order but I know I made tortellini and was shouting out loud about colanders and salt. As I ate the stuff, I was talking about pepper and seemed to come in and out of reality whilst in tremendous pain from the headache. Then I drank water. I kept checking the donuts for ants. Then a few of my friends came into the picture and was talking to them about something. Oh yeah and I was complaining about my mother too. I kept moaning and groaning as waves of nausea swept over me and the pain in my head throbbed. I kept sitting on the kitchen floor and was trying to lay down on my cat but she got mad.

Right now I still have a headache and I still didnt get my coffee nor the other thing I was supposed to do. I worry that if I got back downstairs, I will sit on the floor and summon Bob Villa again for chat. Maybe I should make some tea. Have you ever had crumpets? I did. They were so good I ate the whole bag. I was in England and I begged the lady we were with to go back to that supermarket so we could get more. MMMM. She said I ate a lot. Well, yeah I was 16, sheesh. I wonder if French people despise those that work in a McDonalds in France more than the restaurant itself. I bet they do. French people make no sense. (BTW, I was told that I can make fun of France, Canada and its peoples all I want because I am part that. Yeah, yeah, yuk it up.)

Oh my goodness! I have been ramblin on and on and had no point. Hm. I hope I come down from this n-heptane high soon. I want to be sober for Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

:: Jane Dee 9:24:00 PM [+] ::
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Just me reading about neurological disorders...

And I was curious about Spina Bifida Occulta, a milder form of Spina Bifida, that can have clinical signs like dimpling and lipomas. Some babies look like this (*!*NOTE: This site is not for the faint of heart*!*). Other abnormalities are present as well.

Now that I am finished cutting up my Erte calendar and arranging my classy postcards, I will glue them and hang them in my fabulous hallway which I had designated my art gallery. hehehe

:: Jane Dee 5:55:00 PM [+] ::
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Geez! Are these people dramatic or what?

This quote is from this article:

"My son had refused to go to the hospital and said he wanted to die at home because he feared his illness would bring shame to his lab and the country," the father said on television. "He finally agreed to go to the hospital after I threatened to kill myself."

Talk about screwed up priorities, sheesh!

:: Jane Dee 9:50:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh yeah, I remember

I had another "salt attack" last night (hyponatremia). This time, I was actually having misfirings in my nerves and was getting shocked by my own nervous system. I was twitching and kicking and woke up to find myself feeling like I was going to have a seizure. I made my "salt drink" and calmed those nerves! Whew, that was close!

Now I'm no endurance athelete, but apparently I cannot hold my salt. The hell! What a stupid thing. I am beginning to believe my salt cravings are actually for real (as per last night's attack). But the thing that worries me is this: could I possibly have a heart condition? (see here). I mean, given my "vital signs" (low blood pressure, low resting heart rate) I just may. I am just not like a normal American who has high blood pressure, and why don't I have a normal heart rate of 80bpm unless I drink coffee or have some other stimulants? Well, read this and see what you think. I was thinking that my meningitis thingy may have been caused by strep and that may lead to valve destruction if not treated (it wasn't). However, I should have a murmur which I haven't deteted yet.

:: Jane Dee 7:54:00 PM [+] ::
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If you blow it, it will grow...

Let's hear it for the nerds!! I got back my grades for anatomy and looky here!

Lab Average: 97
Lecture Average: 99
Final Exam Grade: 91 (I knew it , damn!)
Final Grade: 96 (!!!! Just ONE point from my "+"! Double damn!)

Well, Im not too upset. My goal this semester was to just get all As, which I did so I am very happy.

In other news, I am enjoying my bit of time off. I am anxious to start my training, but I don't want it to come that fast. I DO want to relax a 'lil you know... I forgot to do my registration plan... I didnt get the winter semester sticker. Oh well, I guess I'll call up the gym and ask if my fall sticker is still good anyway. Maybe it is. I would like to swim a bit.

I don't know what else to write... can't write that.... can't say that... hmm. Well, maybe next time.

:: Jane Dee 4:39:00 PM [+] ::
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Hey guess what....?

Not only am I going to be on the Dean's list for the Fall 2003 semester, I'm also going to have my star! Here are my grades:

Statistics: A+
Women's Health Issues: A+
Human Growth and Development: A
Stress Management: A
Human Anatomy/Physiology II: A
Community CPR: A

The only thing I am disappointed about is that I didn't get my A+ in anatomy. I was doing all that extra work to get my plus. This means that I must have did worse than I thought on the final. I probably got a 90. Either that, or my prof wasn't too happy about my bookbag (ahem). Anyway, I am glad that my grades are good and that all my efforts paid off. This year (Spring, Summer and Fall) I had taken 37 credits! Oh my Lord! And if it wasn't for that stupid drawing class, I would have had a perfect 4.0. Well, it's okay because when my future school looks at my awsome grades they will do nothing but stamp "accept" on my application form. Hehehe. Now I can have a VERY happy holiday!

SHAZAM!

:: Jane Dee 2:02:00 AM [+] ::
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Hi People!

So classes are over and I had many hours of sleep. So what does a girl like me do now? I am kind of confused! There I was studying my ass off and now... well, now I dont have to for many months (march 2). I mean I do have to study for the pre NLN and then I get to get some very much needed job training for a hopefully "better paying" job than cash register. I'm so sick of minimum wage bullshit. I did the math! If I worked as a "checkout girl" for the next two years, I wouldn't make enough to pay for school AND save to move. Please! If I saved every penny I still don't think I would make enough. Stupid menial labor. Well, I ain't getting stuck no more (unless I have no choice).

Now perhapd the more pressing issue is "What the hell do I do with all this time??" Thankfully, I have found ways to fill up my days.

For starters, I will be able to cook nice food. Didn't have too much time before but now I do. I was trying to make these donuts today but the recipies they gave suck! The glaze is all wrong, the batter is too hard and the custard is so runny. Who the hell thought up these recipies? Well, I don't know, but I am determined to make good donuts and I will find the right recipies! However, the pans are cool.

Lets see, I can also update my webpage (which could really use some updating here) and create that new layout for my Planet Bizzarro page I kept talking about. What I planned on doing was going back to City College to use up my copy card (for copies) and make copies of the pages I want out of my delightful psychology books. The only thing is that I think they are in finals... I hope they let visitors in! I wonder how much I have left on that card anyway. Well, I guess we'll see huh?

I can also try to ride my bike if it ever stops slushing outside. Can you belive how gross it is? I love snow and winter, but for some reason, I want it to be summer so I can swim and ride my bike and do all the fun things I like to do. Pfft!

I guess if I come up withmore, I'll let you know. Yes, I know you are all dying to hear!!

:: Jane Dee 10:25:00 PM [+] ::
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AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

I GOT AN A IN PSYCHOLOGY!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

Smiling, BIG smiling... BIG BIG BIG ASS SMILING!

:: Jane Dee 9:31:00 AM [+] ::
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OK OK OK OK OK!!!!!!!!!!

menyuh! I just finsished my stats test... One test to go then I am SO OUT! Got a 99 on my last stats test and he writes "Only a 99..." HA! I also picked up my Dean's List certificate... pretty snazzy I must admit. I think I will hang it in the hallway along with my diploma and honour society certificate. Hee hee! Anyway, I have to read my notes for stress management and its goodnight Jane to you! Don't be to disappointed, I'll be back. I just need a really long nap.

My lasttest is in a couple of hours... I'm going to go read now... wish me luck!

Okay, but before I go, here is a very interesting mix of interests: Law and kites...?

SHAZAAAAM!!!

:: Jane Dee 9:23:00 AM [+] ::
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!@#$%^ PANDA AGAIN!!

Ugh! I just finished my psy test and it was hard bleh! Man, If I got an A on that final, I will have to sacrifice a lamb to God for his graciousness... okay maybe not. But it would be miraculous... I really think that course is B.... what a failure! ERGH!

In better news, he did like my paper. He said I should come talk to him in the spring. Hmm, I don't know about that. He gave me an A- (minus?!) because it was "powerful and well written." Okay if you say so prof. Now give me an A! :P

Besides that, the final had a bogus question about negative correlation... I think he meant to ask positive correlation. I told him about it. He claims he is right, but he is 100% WRONG. Hahaha, more points for me!

Let's see... I am hoping to study well for anatomy tomorrow. I have to answer a million questions about electrolyte balance and birth, not to mention go over everything from the semester... I think I already thanked God for making it all multiple choice, but I can do it again I guess.

Ohhhh! Im soooo tired! All I want to do when finals are over is REST! Then I want to go outside and get my muscles moving because I can feel the fat accumulating on my body from all those sedentary days studying. Ugh! So here is my plan (heheh): I am going to sign up for an 'ol winter class and then get the semester's sticker on my card. Then, I will come back and delete the classes. Why? So I can have an updated ID card to go swimming! Yes, my evil plan will unfold. hehehehe. That way, I can do something active this winter because I'm not sure how many times I would be able to ride my bike. Then, I will sign up for my CNA classes and then take the pre NLN in January. Then I can start working (for real) and start my savings plan for my move to Arizona and just live my life already.

You know, even if I get a B in psychology, I think I did a pretty good job this year on my life and my well-being in general. I love myself more and more each day and I can see all the great things I can accomplish. Not only that, I can finally feel my life moving in the right direction after all this turmoil. I knew that "bad" time was for a good reason and well, it looks like here it is! I don't have that same outlook I once did and I certainly cut those emotional bonds that were so damaging to me. The day that I can step up and say "this is me" will be the day I have been dreaming of for a long, long time.

ANYWAY, I have to get back to work... gotta get that star next to my name on the dean's list. ;D

:: Jane Dee 3:21:00 PM [+] ::
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Worries...

School! What a wonderful source of worries. This week is finals week and Im scared!! My first test is in psychology and I was supposed to reading that now, but I keep getting distracted. I did an optional paper (ahem) that was supposed to take over a lower grade. Well, I hope I did well on it. I was thinking about posting it but ehhhhhh.... maybe not. However, I am still all for changing my Planet Bizarro page to something like that paper (ahem).

Next test is Anatomy & Physiology... that shouldnt be too bad because I convinced him to make it all multiple choice. No essays yee haw!

Lastly are the statistics and stress management finals. That should be okay. I don't think i need to get stressed over that.

The finals for the women's health class I had already done. We had to hand in the paper if we had it. We also have no CPR final. (still waiting for my card though).

Well, I hope I can get through it all... need As!!! ARGH!

:: Jane Dee 11:23:00 PM [+] ::
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Yeah !@#$%^& Panda This Mother @#$%$@!!!

Yeah, uh huh... it's me allright. Got a problem with that?

I feel sick and disgusting.... I hope someone stabs ME in the eye.

Oh yeah, this is some great stuff. Leave it to me to express how I feel only to have people run away. Whatever!

Man, I don't need this shit. I have plenty coming from all different directions. I live in a shit storm. I tread shit everyday. Will be treading more tomorrow. Does anyone care? No. Why should they? It's not like my shit is anymore special than their shit. Wish it was though. Then maybe I would be important once in a while instead of having to fight to get my shit noticed. That would be nice.

:: Jane Dee 1:35:00 AM [+] ::
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GONADS!!!

ARGH! Why, on the eve of the last day of class, do I have to study gonads and starfish development (better here)? (hey this looks like my test.... not testis :P)

Guess what day it is!!! heheheh ;)

:: Jane Dee 10:07:00 PM [+] ::
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Late at night in the milkbar...

I'm finishing up my statistics homework when I decide to look up "famous z-scores" online. In our class we use these famous z-scores to calculate confidence intervals - meaning an interval where we can be, say 95% for example, sure that the mean lies in that interval, whatever it is.

A more interesting statisical device appeared on my page of results... a quincunx! This weird peg board thing is used to demonstarte normal distribution. It reminds me of that rab plinko game on the price is right.

However, someone out there (probably a math guy) named himself Quincunx (even though it sounds like a dirty, dirty word) and posted up some funny stuff on his webpage.

But I am sleepy AND done with the stats! Yay me. I get to sleep for three hours!

:: Jane Dee 12:43:00 AM [+] ::
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Hey!

Check out my new Curse Generator on the sidebar.

:: Jane Dee 5:15:00 PM [+] ::
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AH HAHAHAHA!

Seems there is an agreement on Geologists (and Engineers too... maybe I ought rearrange my list again huh?)

:: Jane Dee 4:15:00 PM [+] ::
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WHEW!

Omg I just finshed that damn health report! I didn't know I would get so into it that I would take all day. GEEZ!

Hmm. Im confused. Should I start reading my anatomy book or should I start my mother's webpage.... I am not going to do the psy paper yet. Or the stats homework. hmmm...

I think I'll do the webpage. It seems easier. :P

:: Jane Dee 8:58:00 PM [+] ::
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Heyy!

This is a great site! Check it out!

:: Jane Dee 9:56:00 PM [+] ::
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Alzheimer's It Is!

In honor of November being National Alzheimer's Disease Month, I will do my women's health report on Alzheimer's disease. I have some excellent links that I will be using:

4Women.Gov
Alzheimer's and Mental Retardation
AD and menopause
AD for kids (great site, easy reading and informative for all!)
Prevalence study
Female hormones and AD

:: Jane Dee 3:05:00 PM [+] ::
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Checking this out

Hey I got a chance to go to the DMV today!! Well, I'm not really that excited, I'm just kidding. I had to renew my license and apparently, if you make a trip to the office for a renewal, you must take a new picture. Well, for the next eight years, my license will feature my blue hair. I didn't really want to have it that way, but what am I going to do, argue? Well, at keast it didn't take too long. Maybe I can retake the picture at a different time, maybe when my hair is NOT blue.

Well, that didn't work.

I did find out that a girl in my class had found my lab notes and will return then to me on Tuesday. That's good because I was going to bring my computer and scanner to class and scan someone's lab manual for my missing pages. Looks like I won't have to go to such lengths.

So here I sit trying to muster up some initiative to get my papers written. I think I will use online resources to complete my women's health paper. Who cares? Or, I use my own coleection of books... maybe hmm. Well, hopefully I can get that done today as well as the psychology paper. I also have to get started on a webpage for my mother's store. She keeps pestering me. I wish she would have asked to use my digital camera! All I have are regular pictures and now I have to scan all this nonsense. Well that page shouldn't take too long at least. I hope...

Now I have to figure out what sort of women's health issue I want to discuss. Mental Health issues are always my fav. But what would I discuss? Depression is boring. Maybe aromatherapy? HAHAHAHA!!! All I know is that I will NOT be doing breast cancer. Hmm. Maybe I can do it on all the fab jewelry that breast cancer has inspired....?

:: Jane Dee 9:13:00 AM [+] ::
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Cows are cool!

Ohhhh! Where oh where are my notes?? You know, I really can't understand how I lost my lab notes. Anyway, I have an interesting weekend headed my way. Lots of work, and this time, I have to write papers! I'm trying to type up one now that is due tomorrow (today I mean) but I'm so tired and its taking forever. On my to do list for this weeked includes 1) gathering materials for my research paper due in my women's health class and typing it up and making notes for the oral presentation 2) writing about something for psychology, not to mention reading about morals as the next chapter and the extra chapter we have to read for the optional test that would replace a low grade 3) read and make notes for anatomy class 4) do my (overdue) stats homework

Hey at least I sent out for my CPR certification card. I need that to get into the clinical component of my major. I was thinking that I would also get vaccinated for HepB over my break (also required for my major) and buy my scrubs. Im kind of excited about this winter because I won't have to go to school. All I will do is work and make money and fianlly start saving to move. Yay!! It's getting nearer friends! I can see it now... I am so out of here!!

Another thing I thought I may do... A girl in one of my classes was telling me that she took the 6 week course to become a nurse aide and gets paid decent money... I was thinking that maybe I should do that. Maybe I can work less and get paid more and be able to have a job that in in the field. I will look into it soon. Maybe it'll be great.

I was also hoping that when I do my nurse training in the hospitals, I could do it in a hospital that has a psych ward. I was thinking that I would volunteer my time in the ward as a student nurse? I'm not sure they would let me do it , but I will ceratinly give that a whirl.

Ohh lord look at the time! I better finish this paper!

:: Jane Dee 12:50:00 AM [+] ::
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Jim Dandy...

I have a few things to say:

1) A Poem:

Give him an inch - He will want a foot
Tell him it hurts - He will only hurt you more
The only advantages I have are the ones taken from me
These things do not hurt me - They only sting with familiarity

2) (More) Bad News:
My botched lab test is a measly 88. Not cool.

3) Good News (thankfully)
My physiology test was a whooping 108/112! Now I can crack a smile.

4) Same 'Ol:
Didn't I already say I had a knack for these things? That's right, I did.

:: Jane Dee 4:00:00 PM [+] ::
...

Hey hey hey

Guess what came in the mail. An invite to join the New York Academy of Sciences. Why they are asking me to join is beyond me. I don't have a doctorate and I certainly don't contribute anything to the field of mathematics, which is my degree. I wonder if I after I fill in the information, they will look and go "Oh man, we made a mistake in asking her!!" and send me back my money. Hmm. I'll think about it. It would be nice to say in a snooty way "Why yes, I am an active member of the New York Academy of Sciences." I guess it doesn't matter too much... Maybe they still had my name for when I was a representative for my High School in the NYAS Science Expo? Maybe they just need the money? Who knows. Maybe they heard about my proposed research on allergies.

In other wonderful news... oh wait, I don't have any wonderful news yet.

Okay, I'll get back to you when I do.

:: Jane Dee 5:42:00 PM [+] ::
...

The unthinkable has happened today!

Okay, look, I'm trying to find humour in something that has made me pretty angry today. I actually botched my anatomy test today. The prof asked us to give the volumes of respiration... and I think "Oh he must mean the actual volumes", i.e, 500ml etc. So I go and put down all the numbers... later on, well not much later on, I realize he just wanted us to put down the NAMES of the volumes (tidal volume, etc). That was a whole section wasted. THEN I go and mess up on diabetes insipidus and mellitus! MORE POINTS OFF! I don't think I scored more than an 85, and I am being generous here. He does drop the lowest grade, but what happens if I needed that drop on one of the remaining tests? Then what? My A+ goes down the drain and all my hard work will be for naught.

In better news, that same prof gave us back the first part of our latest physiology test. I did well, scoring a 40/42 on that part. (Okay, I'm smiling a bit here).

Don't think I'm crazy... I failed plenty of times in my life.. I'm just sick of it. I want to do the best I can now and these setbacks make me feel so useless.

I guess every genius has his off day...

:: Jane Dee 5:26:00 PM [+] ::
...

Bleh...

And that is all I have to say about that... stupid crap. I would be better off as I was... maybe.

:: Jane Dee 10:51:00 PM [+] ::
...

Whew!

Well, I don't know if I just know what I'm doing or if that test was deceivingly easy... Well, lets hope it's because I know what I'm doing. I really thought I was going to do horribly but as far as I know, it wasn't too bad.

Curiosity has lead me to find that I am actually a large framed gal seing that my height is about 5'2" and my wrist circumference is about 6.5" and my elbows width is a bit more than 2.5". I think that is pretty cool. I get to weigh more!

I was asked about what is given to someone who is bitten by a snake, antivenom or antidote, etc. Interestingly enough, we discussed antivenom a couple of days ago and lo and behold, it was on today's physiology exam: "... antivenom is really: Gammaglobulins" I was trying to find the structure of snake venom, but I found this instead.

Anitdotes, I gather, are things (not antibodies) given to someone to neutralize or render harmless stuff that would otherwise be deleterious to the body. Such as seen here. I guess sometimes antidote is used for antivenom. Maybe antidote is a more general term.

Click here for an interesting related topic

Also on my test was a question about Tom Dolittle (?) and how he died when he was hung... I put anoxic anoxia.... maybe it was stagnant anoxia? hmm. I thought choking was anoxic hypoxia but that wasn't a choice. We'll see...

:: Jane Dee 7:39:00 PM [+] ::
...

Decisions, Decisions...

A fridge? A watch? A bag? An umbrella?

Yes its true. Im going to get a fridge in my room. This has gone on long enough.

Tomorrow looks like another fun-filled day of filling my finger joints with lactic acid. I have much studying to do and will wake up mighty early in an attempt to finish at least the anatomy part. All I do is write notes and I write so much that the joints in my finger start to burn. Sigh. I hope I can get all the notes done tomorrow because I'm visiting Lou from Lou's Universe tomorrow (well today actually just much later). I hope it will be fun.

Monday should be an interesting day. I am supposed to get back my statistics test... i dont think I got a 100 this time. Hm we'll see. I don't think I got lower than a 94. heheheh.


Okay, its' time for "bed". Later!

:: Jane Dee 11:02:00 PM [+] ::
...

Some thought....

I am at a loss for words these days only because I'm scared the truth may come out.

That would be funny if I had a sense of humour right now. But I don't.

In fact, I think I'm pretty agitated. I think I'm angry. No. I AM angry. I am very angry.

All of this anger is making me want to put it somewhere... where.... Perhaps I shall change the theme of Planet Bizarro and make it reflect exactly what I am experiencing. We'll see.

Now I shall try to study...

:: Jane Dee 7:27:00 PM [+] ::
...

Another day to complain

I went to study at the library (again) today. It was nice to have the sun shining on me even though I wasn't too excited to study anatomy. I was kind of blah actually. I was sitting there listening to my familiar collection of tunes that can make me feel more or less blah. I did notice that I was fowarding to all the more blah inducing tracks... you know, slow, kind of sad, melencholic if you must... and I sat there gazing out the window as the music played. It felt reminiscent of the spring semester when I would go to the library everyday (yes, everyday) and study as hard as I could to try to rid my self of all the pain I felt from all that had happened to me. I know I usually don't blog about this personal stuff, but I felt it nessecary today.

I know I have come a long way since a year ago... October 2002 will always be the time I will remember as "The Time of Collapse", which happens to be the last phase of a strange series of events that took place in my life. The new life started when I got the job at the Kosher Mart. That is when I finally started to reconstruct. Today I realized just how far I have come since last October, and I can say that had to be the most painful time in my whole life. Even more painful than my breakup. That was the time I had lost everything and felt its existence. That was when I realized just how alone and abandoned I really was and realized just how wrong everything was.

I gave myself another chance even though I felt as worthless as shit. I know my self-esteem had been lower at some previous point in time, but this came close. Completely changing my major and going back to a school I was to have supposed to have left didn't make the matter any better. Only until I realized how well I was doing in Microbiology (not to mention that I took a heavy load (15 credits) to prove I wasn't stupid and worked at the kosher mart to crazy hours of the night) along with everything else did I start to feel better. I was grateful that I such a great professor.

Only until the summer when I started to take anotomy did I realize I could get my life back. When I did so well in that class (not to mention learned how to really swim) did I get this surge of confidence. I suddenly felt the blood flowing.

This semester seems to be the culmination of yet another phase which has proved to be very beneficial to me. This is because I actually started to get into psychology and that class (!!) opened a pandoras box of issues. This semester has been so difficult only because I had to "relive" the pain of childhood memories that I wished to keep repressed. However, my brain does what it wants and decided to let me view an assortment of flashbacks which would haunt me up to ten times a day. I was able to overcome them by truely believing that they happened and that I knew who I am and I knew who they were and I wasn't fooling anyone by denying anything anymore. Waves of life came over me and I feel more and more powerful each day. I don't have the same attitude I once did.

I don't know what is in store for me next. I'm hoping this is the end of this phase and that next year holds great promise... promise that I can have faith in.

Now I have homework to do.

:: Jane Dee 2:06:00 PM [+] ::
...

I just have this knack I guess.

It's either my profound fear of emitting foul body odor is true or I just know how to pick them. Maybe it's a mixture of both. Maybe I just need new deodorant? Maybe I should just listen to myself next time and forget the whole thing all together.

Yeah that's the answer.

:: Jane Dee 8:33:00 PM [+] ::
...

If it were possible...

I would make something somwhere that interprets these thoughts of things that persist.

Why the hell does she keep my mail?!?!? I HATE THAT!! UGHH!

:: Jane Dee 8:26:00 PM [+] ::
...

Oh well...

I guess I have to do my stats homework.

:: Jane Dee 6:31:00 PM [+] ::
...

MEEEEEGGHHHHHH!!!!

Why do I always run out of stuff at the most inopportune times? I ran out of highlighter! This makes the second highlighter I went through this semester. Stupid cheap highlighters!!

:: Jane Dee 5:53:00 PM [+] ::
...

Ohhhh.....

It appears as if my dilemma has taken a new twist. I got my psychology test back today and by the grace of God, I scored a 90. Now listen people, I really don't know how I got that score, but I had to rethink the whole withdrawl thing. So there I am, thinking and thinking about what to do. The question wasn't about "Will I get a bad grade vs Can I live with a W"; it was now "Do I stay and get an A most likely vs Do I want to withdraw if I value my education in psychology"

Now that was a tough decision and I had 40 minutes to decide it.

Apparently I have my eye on the prize (grad school) and I'll take a slight lack of knowledge over a W. End of story.

Now in other news, I had a pet Blue Loster that was purchased only three days ago. I had put it in my fish tank last night and when I woke up... he was dead! I was mortified! There lay my beautiful blue lobster on his side and when I reached in to get him, I felt his stiffness. The poor guy. Thank goodness I didn't officially name him yet because I would have cried.
When I went back to the store all they said was that it must have been the ammonia in my tank (even though I had just cleaned the tank and did a water change) and that they don't guarentee livestock. I was like "UGH!!" I'm never going back there again! Now what do I do??

Now I sit and contemplate stuff.... yes yes I know I should be reading about the lymphatic system, give me a break OK????

:: Jane Dee 8:07:00 PM [+] ::
...

!@#$% PANDA Part II!!

THIS IS TERRIBLE! What am I talking about? My psychology class that is what!

I have a dilemma:

My psy prof is the worst excuse for a prof. He doesnt teach a damn thing and talks about his family all day. He doesn't go over the material because he is a Piagetian who believes that we should be "active learners" and basically translates to we read all this crap on our own and do all the work by ourselves. If we have a question, he says we should ask. Well, when I ask, he goes off on a tangent for about 20 minutes on something else than ends with "Did that answer your queation?" Of course I just nod my head because I have no clue as to what he is talking about and just want him to stop!

Okay so now the question is Do I drop? or Do I stay?

If I drop, I definately won't make dean's list because I would only have 13 credits instead of 16 (15 is needed for Dean's List). I would also have a dreaded "W" on my transcript which may bring bad luck to me when I get reviewed by a grad school board.... they would say something like "What is this W about"... and what will I say "Oh the prof was an idiot"? Yeah right.

If I don't drop, I will get increasingly frustrated and lose interest in the material which may lead to lower grades. If I stay, I could get a C (yes it is possible) and that would be more detrimental to my grad school hopes than a W followed by an A sometime later. Not only that, it would ruin my fragile GPA (low grades can do big things to a GPA!!) making it even more difficult to think about grad school.

After much thought, I figure that it would be best to drop. I just can't stand a prof who doesn't want to help me and is threatening my GPA. This is quite annoying.

:: Jane Dee 9:22:00 PM [+] ::
...

Well now, looky here

I look for information on collapsed lungs (pneumothorax) and I wind up reading about this man's lung trouble. Well, I'd like to thank him for such lovely pictures!

:: Jane Dee 9:34:00 PM [+] ::
...

!@#$% PANDA!

Okay look, don't think I have some screws loose, but I got a 94 on my physiology test (worse than the first one) and to make matters worse, I could have at least gotten a 96 if I didn't get all dyslexic on the test and think "d" is a "b". STUPID PULMONARY VEINS!

Not only that, I was in the library all night studying for my psychology test tomorrow. I so know I'm only going to get a B in that class because the prof is a total jerk. He doesn't teach all he talks about is his granddaughter and how she says "Cindy -ya - ya" for Cinderella. ARGH! I can't take it anymore! I hope I don't do poorly because thursday is the last day to withdraw.... but even so... if I withdraw, grad school will be all on my case about it. I have enough crap to show them from City College! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!

:: Jane Dee 8:45:00 PM [+] ::
...

I'm back whoo hoo!

My mini vacation has served me well. Now I can get back to sleep deprived, anxious me again!

As of now, I am studying developmental psychology. Now I don't like to make fun of professors but this guy is the pits! He doesn't teach a damn thing and we have to learn all the stuff in the book on our own. Then when we ask a question, he goes off on these ridiculous tangents that are just so... !!!! I am worried because I only got an 86 or so on the first test and if I get a B in this class, I can kiss all hope of using this major for grad school goodbye! So perhaps I will do as I did before and wake up early (5am) to squeeze in more study time here.

But let's not forget that I have an anatomy test Thursday too. Great, now I'm getting nervous.

Okay it's off to work I go. I'll be back when the sun goes down (far down) again.

:: Jane Dee 8:00:00 PM [+] ::
...

Sighhhh....

I decided to take a mini break from school. I didn't study after my physiology test on Tuesday, I didn't study or stay after school on Wenesday, and I certainly didn't study or stay after school today (Thursday). No, I'm not going crazy or dropping school or nothing, because if I didn't do this, I would have a mental breakdown. I'm not joking.

My bio prof asked me what was wrong... I told him that I was about to crash and it was equivalent to when windows gives you the "blue screen" before it goes into oblivion. Despite all this, I managed to only get three wrong on the multiple choice part of the test. Whew! That means I can still get over 100 if I got the extra credit right. I think I really need to calm down about my studying. I don't want to have a breakdown you know.
The funny thing was that the night before this last bio test, I felt my nerves twitching in an ominous way. Then as I went to sleep, I kept sitting up and fiddling with anything that was around me. So what I mean was that I went to bed then two minutes later, my nerves would get overloaded and I would "have" to sit up. Then when I sat up, I had to "fix" my hair, or look at the buttons on the clock or check to see if my glasses were still where they were the last time I checked. It was like I had a widespread tic. Well, it has passed thankfully. I did however, skip out of my women's health issues class to study my physiology. It was well worth it because I was able to assimilate the Frank-Starling's Law of the Heart (CO = HR x SV where CO = cardiac output, HR = heart rate, and SV = stroke volume) into my brain. This equation was part of a four part essay that we had to answer. I thought these essays were easier than the ones on the first test. At least I didn't have to name all the platelet factors!

I don't plan on studying this weekend, which should help me recover. I do plan to reattempt to shop for things that I would like such as a 3/4 length coat, a new pair of Docs (unless I see a nice set of Timberlands in black), and some other junk. I was very annoyed to find out that my most favorite brand of lip moisturizer (cool aqua) is not available anymore. The hell!

I should add that my brain hasn't fully recovered yet and if anyone talks to me this weekend, I may sound a bit "off". Just a warning I guess.... or maybe a warning to YOU to be very pleasent around me lest you may be responsible for sending me over the edge. Yes, that makes more senese.

A, B, C, D

:: Jane Dee 10:29:00 PM [+] ::
...

AAARRRGGGHH!!!!!

Just thought I'd give you that little update.

:: Jane Dee 5:25:00 PM [+] ::
...

ohhhh I'm sorry!!

I have to make an apology to G. Yes, I guess my day was not good enough and it looks like I took it out on you. :(
Please forgive me.

In other news, I am at home (suprise suprise) because the library was too crowded. It appears as if everyone decided to start studying for midterm now.

I will keep you posted on my progress, because we all know how much you people care! (pffft)

:: Jane Dee 5:06:00 PM [+] ::
...

Tell people one thing and they do another

Okay I think I have come out from a stint with the "dumps" to which I have visited these past few days. Apparently I am having a problem with my classes. I think I took too many for no reason and now I am feeling it. I have noticed that is is extremely hard to get out of bed in the morning, even after five hours of sleep (trust me that is a lot). I also find that I just cannot stand to do anymore meaningless work. What I mean by that isthat I don't know how much longer I can stand classes like stress management without ging crazy. This is definately starting to take a toll on me.

I would also like to complain about a certain person whose name starts with G. Look, I asked you not to sneak up on me in the library and you still do it. Do you realize that we cannot continue carrying on like this? I need my privacy and I don't feel like having you knowing my coordinates every minute of the day. No, it doesn't make me happy to see you in school. School is the only palce I can be alone and that is important to me, okay?

Now I just sound like a nagging bitch.

ANYWAY, I'd like to do good on tomorrow's physiology test. I am extremely worried about it as usual and think I'll do bad. Yes, I know I am illogical, but until this semester is over, I will continue to be illogical. So there. Unfortunately, my tolerance for stress has dropped dramtically and these seemingly benign pressures are ripping me to shreds.

Then there are the other things in life that make me stressed out. Those I won't mention though. Too many people out there who want to get all up in my business. Let me rephrase that... there are a few people out there who want to get waaaaaaaay up into my business.

I see that I am givingmyself a headache. Nice. Okay, now lets go and study the heart and arteries and veins... oh joy!

:: Jane Dee 1:07:00 PM [+] ::
...

YANKEES WIN! HAHAHAHA

Poor Boston... PFFFFTTTTT!!!

:: Jane Dee 9:28:00 PM [+] ::
...

THE MARLINS TAKE THE SERIES AFTER A 3 GAME DEFICIT?!?!


AARRRRGGHHH CUBS!

Okay maybe next time... I mean next century! ohhhh...

:: Jane Dee 4:29:00 PM [+] ::
...

As I keep doing my work

I find this neat EKG game. Cool.

:: Jane Dee 2:56:00 PM [+] ::
...

AH HA!

I told you they were making a new twenty dollar bill!

Well, I am happy I completed my book report. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Cool.

Now on to the next task: SHOWER!

:: Jane Dee 3:45:00 PM [+] ::
...

Before I go to bed

I would like to comment on this book that I am reading for my Women's Health Issues class.

It is a great book. Very clear and easy to understand. Maybe too easy to understand. As I sit here and read it I realize all the things said can apply to me in some way which is kind of scary. It makes me think about the times when I felt most inadequate... I don't dwell on these things anymore but I certainly forget where they come from sometimes. It's nice to know that there is hope.... I was just saying today how wonderful it feels to know that my time is coming and that it feels so exciting to get a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel... that long dark tunnel. It was so inspiring that I created a vision in my mind a copy of that glimpse to which I will try to work on drawing tomorrow. It was a sight to behold.

Anyway, I don't want to dwell too long, but I did realize that I am more powerful than previously thought. I actually have the power to tell the future and well, let's just keep it as that.

Another interesting thing was that I was able to get my physiology notes done and read most of the aforementioned book. However, I still have a long list to complete tomorrow: finsih the book and write that report(ugh), go through my test topics in the syllabus and write out the answers (ughhh) organize my lab notes and at least write out what will be on the next test (ugghhhhhh), and lastly, do my stats assignments (UGHHHHHHH). As you can see, I have not had a fun-filled weekend that would have been better spent, and I don't know why I have this desire, in Hershey Park. (??? I don't know either)

I must also make a couple of phone calls tomorrow/today. There are certain things I need to check up on. Hopefully I can do all this without going crazy. Well, at least on Tuesdays I start classes late. Which brings me to my next pipe dream: seeing the Orinids. I am seriously thinking of seeing them because they can be seen before midnight... I mean, I can see them on Sunday night too, but they are supposed to be at max on that monday. However, that tuesday is also my next physiology test. Hmm and more hmm.

ok, im falling asleep at the wheel... ihope i can get up early! Thank God for coffee.

:: Jane Dee 12:28:00 AM [+] ::
...

BLEH!

yeah and MORE BLEH!!!

humph

:: Jane Dee 9:25:00 PM [+] ::
...

How appropriate!

To be Miss Universe... ah, if only I were taller. Till then, I am Miss !MadUniverse!!! HA HA HA!

:: Jane Dee 11:12:00 PM [+] ::
...

Hey Lou

Check it out

:: Jane Dee 6:35:00 PM [+] ::
...

ARGH! HEADACHE!

Apparently yesterday's headache turned into a migraine and I wasn't too happy about that. My neck and shoulders still hurt but my head has pretty much stopped throbbing. I was a bit queasy today but that went away too.

Sometimes, I think I stress myself out too much. Too bad I can't just take a(nother) vacation. If I could go anywhere right now, I'd say I'd want to go to

:: Jane Dee 5:38:00 PM [+] ::
...

By the way

I don't care what PacSun says (they have been jammin' since they were in JHS), Lillix is not a good band.

:: Jane Dee 8:01:00 PM [+] ::
...

Oh no!

Donna C has tendonitis!

:: Jane Dee 7:42:00 PM [+] ::
...

Ohhhhh

WHAT is going on here? I studied my veins and srteries and yet I still managed to miss some. ARGH. The good news is that my physiology (lecture) 94 is actually a 94. I asked him if the scale was 100 and he has extra credit available or is it actually a 110 scale and my 94 is an 85. He said no and told me to stop "fussing." Easy for him to say! He already has his PhD.

Anyway, I gave myself a headache stressing over this quiz (but it wasn't a migrane!). I hope that I am imagining my "horrible" score and that I got an A anyway. That would be greaaaaaaaat.

So I sit here and hope my headache goes away. Right now I am dreaming about going on a make up shopping spree. Well, at least I'd like to get new makeup because I'm tired of my old eyeshadows. I am hoping Revlon comes put with a new limited edition color palette of creme shadow. I would also like to go to Sephora and see what they got. Since I have a thing for Ralph lauren perfumes, they have a new fragrance called blue. I was thinking about buying the Romance Tender Notes, but I recall it not smelling nice on me. Maybe it was another scent. However, I don't have Glamorous Daylight so maybe I'd go and check it out ... but I think I'm going to be busy this weekend. Sighh. I want to have fun! Oh poo, no fun for me :(

Hey cool, check it out ladies!

:: Jane Dee 6:33:00 PM [+] ::
...

Told you I wasn't going to sleep!

Instead, I decided to copy Lou in her BackBlogging idea... well, we'll see how it goes.

Now, you can write your very own !MadComments about how I need to stop complaining about 94s and stop agonizing over basophils.... yeah yeah whatever.

okay, NOW its goodnight!

:: Jane Dee 11:38:00 PM [+] ::
...

!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%Y^U&^W@#$%^&*(&^%$#

I dunno I just felt like hitting the keyboard before I went to bed... did the cubs win? I need to know if I have to wash the lucky cubs shirt.

DAMMIT!!! In the wash you go!

It's time for plan B: The lucky Wrigley Field shirt!

Okay it's time for bed. ZZZZzzzzzz...

Goodnight!

:: Jane Dee 9:59:00 PM [+] ::
...

Whoa, whoa whoa whoa.....

Okay, now I'm mad! I got a 94 on my physiology test and... what you say? WHY am I upset? Because he scores it out of 110. You can thus look at it two ways a)that it's really on a scale of 100 and everyone has a chance to get 110 because he doesn't tell you what extra credit is or b) it's really on a scale of 110 and my 94 translates into a 85.45... I think it's the latter.... and I am at a B!!! DAMN!

Okay another horrible, horrible tale unfolds! Not only do wretched basophils cause allergies, it seems pesky eosinophils do too! DOUBLE DAMN!

NOW what am I supposed to do??? HOW and I suppused to go to the research library and study for school? I mean, shold I take my 3 ton bookbag on the train to the research library in Manhattan and get what I need there, then go across the street to NYPL and study? Is that possible? Is that sane? How do these things happen to me? I wish I has a switch that could turn at least 1/3 of my brain OFF. It's always making me do crazy things that it fancies for the moment and never gives me a say in what I want (like sleep). I so know that if I was a child now in elementary school, i'd be diagnosed with ADHD! AAARRRGGGHHH! (hahaha)

:: Jane Dee 7:58:00 PM [+] ::
...

!@#$% PANDA!

I HATE YOU PRINTER! EEEERRRRRGGHHH!

:: Jane Dee 10:33:00 PM [+] ::
...

AH AH AH...... AH CHOOO!

Whoa I have some bad allergies today. I think it may be because of my neighbor's decision to break ground in efforts to extend their house all the way to the end of the property. I think that is really cool except that my nose is dripping and my head is swimming!

I decided to bring up allergies to introduce basophils, a leukocyte that is active against allergens. Basophils are granulocytes that can release vesicles of histamines to the surrounding tissues and cause an inflammation reaction. This reaction can include anything from swelling (like hives), rashes, coughing, wheezing, sneezing, and lacrimal and mucous membrane secretions (great link to reproductive mucous here).

Basophils and mast cells are responsible for triggering allergic reactions. Even though not much is known about allergies and why they are so prevalent, a good understanding of allergies and how it works is here. I think I would like to do research on allergic reactions and what they do and what they cause. I would say exactly what I'd like to do research on and what my theories are, but a)I want to talk with all the cards (information) on the table b)need to have a "name" (i.e., have a master's or phd) and c) I may want to use this stuff for my thesis so back off!

Anyway, I still don't know how I did on that psychology test. I think I did better than I thought I would but we'll see. I did, however, do better on the multiple choice section of the anatomy test than previously thought. Now let's see how I did on the essay portion of that test. I know I didnt get it all right because I wrote that thromboxine A2 helps in clotting when it really is a vasoconstrictor. ohhhh well. Better luck next time I guess.

Oh! Did I mention that we met our "cats"? No? Well, in this class, we dissect cats and I was not too happy about that at first but I got used to it and quite frankly, when you cut it open, it looks the same as any other animal... so, I just imagine that it is a pig and all is well. I do have to say that the smell of the preservatives is pretty noxious... okay, maybe not noxious, but it does bother my nose. I am seriously contemplating if I should bring in a mask.

My head is swimming... I would write more but my brain is not processing anything too well right now. ohhhhh. Well, goodnight!

:: Jane Dee 5:25:00 PM [+] ::
...

Oh I hate it when it sucks!

Today I took my first test in anatomy and I soooo did not get an A. I mean, I probably managed in the 80s but I need As. What good is this all for if I don't? And tomorrow I have a psychology test that I know I won't ace either because I didn't study enough. What is wrong with me? I've been so unmotivated lately. It also doesn't help when your palm pilot is crazy. I have to take dates down on various sheets of paper that I have to rummage to find later on. It also doesn't help when the library isn't "as open" as it is in the spring. I needed this weekend at the library but noooo. They had to close. Sigh. I hope that optional paper can be used as a grade if I get in the 80s. Oh I'm so nervous!

Well, on a better note, I passed CPR with an A and got certified. Cool now all I need is hepatitis vaccination and I should be good to go.

I better get back to studying this. I'm going to flip out!

:: Jane Dee 5:41:00 PM [+] ::
...

Meow!

Hey this looks like my cat Chata, except Chata has more of a monkey face.

:: Jane Dee 10:55:00 AM [+] ::
...

So when I move...

I will be lonely and need a companion. And I found him here.

I think living in a motel for a while will make me a bit nervous, no?

:: Jane Dee 9:04:00 PM [+] ::
...

Well!

Now I can get my engagement ring at the Wal Mart! Well, in case you dont want to go there, you can imagine your man getting you that ring you really want here.

So if I can imagine a hot geologist getting me a really cool engagement ring.... hehehehe!

:: Jane Dee 3:17:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh yeah

Forgot to mention that I took my first lab test and got a stinkin' 96. I will not have this crap! Good thing he drops the lowest grade. Whew.

And now I can't even study at the library because of Rosh Hashana. UUGgghhhh! I hate to study at home.

Well, on a good note, I lost a couple of more pounds. I'm only one away from the AF ideal. I do plan to lose more, but baby steps, baby steps. I want it to be a real loss not some crappy diet sheeyot. I've maintained my current weight for quite sometime now. This is great.

Oh yeah, I was looking through my old posts and realized I was supposed to post pictures of certain things. My visit to the Aerospace exhibit, the MS Tour and my summer vacation. Well scratch the exhibit, the pics are too boring for a general audience. The MS Tour maybe but only like one or two. The summer one can wait because I'm sure nobody is dying over it.

Okay I think it's time to study. I also think I took too many classes this semester. Well one of them will be over on monday so that ought to be a relief. Then I can be certified to give all the choking hotties rescue breaths... I would have said CPR, but no one looks good when they are almost dead.

:: Jane Dee 10:05:00 AM [+] ::
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Had some dreams...

I've always had strange dreams, usually violent in nature. Most of the times it resembles some battle situation... I have to defend myself against someone who has better weapons than me and most of the times, I don't even have a weapon! Sheesh. Anyway, this dream involved me warding off a stabber (who coincidently had a weapon that resembled that lancet we used in lab only about 700 times bigger... that lancet looked more like an ice pick by the way). I was with some Russian girl who I accidently pushed down the stairs (I didn't realize how skinny she was) and when I came to help her up, this guy appeared and was ready to stab her or me. So I got up and grabbed his arm with the blade. We struggled for a liitle and he knicked me with it but I eventually got it out of his hand. Then he started to run away and I chased him, I was signalling my friend in the car to follow him but I don't think he noticed. So I just ran and ran after him and was hoping to get him but I woke up.

Now the thing that interested me about this dream wasn't the dream itself but the way my heart was pounding! It was so LOUD. and it was like BUMP.....dum...........BUMP....dum..........BUMP.... etc. It was so weird. I thought it was going to break through my ribs. I think it's just weird when you can actually feel the blood flowing and hear it too. My brain is hearing this yet what the hell is my brain too? It's so complicated. And people don't belive in God, pffft.

:: Jane Dee 9:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Hear I say...

Someday,
When all my troubles have boiled down to managable salts
And I can see the sun through the window...
When I wake up without the nagging stiffness of the damaging memories
And the pain in my head has dissappeared...
When I find that the man I love loves me back
And I have no reason to fear the darkness...
When I can finally say "I made it" over and over
And believe every word I say,
I'll be everything I was meant to be.

:: Jane Dee 8:29:00 PM [+] ::
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DAMN YOU!

Yeah you... you know who you are.

I give up. You win.

:: Jane Dee 7:44:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh by the way

I think I may have found the source of at least a few of my migraines. More on that later...

:: Jane Dee 11:23:00 PM [+] ::
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OWW!

Okay big suprise... headache! And a real one too... it hit me pretty hard in CPR class. I was able to do it but my head felt like it was going to explode... or my eye was going to pop out of my head.

So Lou liked my movie... cooooool!

:: Jane Dee 6:43:00 PM [+] ::
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My heart is looking for...

Some websites! Because of my rough weekend, I had to put all this on hold uh oh, I'm in trouble! What if I don't get and A on this test?!?!


Okay... it looks like it's time for mega stress life once again!

:: Jane Dee 9:06:00 PM [+] ::
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As I sit and do my homework

I look online to see stuff about CPR. This is kinda cool... no wait, it's "FUN!!!" Here we have "Call, Blow and Pump." That sounds odd no? Don't forget to become skilled in PET CPR too! Then after, you can take the quiz to see if you have what it takes. I like this site because of the cool compression video thingy at the top of the page.

Well, I guess it's time to bid my friends good bye... Back to work!

:: Jane Dee 8:11:00 PM [+] ::
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Wow!

My site's total hits have really gone up lately... Mr Luis, there are other websites out there to visit too!

:: Jane Dee 2:54:00 PM [+] ::
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Hey hey hey!

Got some new links. I was trying to find some tooth problem, but found oral pathology instead. Ah! Here it is!

:: Jane Dee 3:33:00 PM [+] ::
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Im back... I will not pay a lot of a muffler!

So I woke up on a better note and have attributed my suffering (and back pain) to my monthly visitor. No, I did not use Stuart's equation because I did not have any initial complaints. I guess it doesnt always work, but I still like my equation.

I found an interesting site while I was searching for something I thought was called the abgar index. Then I found this site. Please note this is not for the faint of heart.

Anyhoo, I was really looking for this.

:: Jane Dee 7:22:00 PM [+] ::
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Let me try to pass the time

I found this. I don't know what it's supposed to be about, but I guess if you want to inject rats with properdin or something.

Goldfish: Gotta love em. Gotta eat em.

:: Jane Dee 6:56:00 PM [+] ::
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Another day to sigh

I don't want to get into it, but I am certainly not in the best of moods. I was feeling anxious all day and then got a stomach ache. Then I felt shitty. I went to CPR class and excelled at my first battery of tests, but that couldn't even make me feel better. Then I saw someone and wanted to punch someone in the face. But we can't have everything now can we?


Am I even making sense? Probably not.

How come we can only save ourselves? Why do I always have to do all the work? ugghhhhh

:: Jane Dee 5:43:00 PM [+] ::
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Let's Go Bikers! (clap clap cla cla clap)

The MS Tour went well today. It actually started on time and I was one of the first groups done. I should have rode slower because I know I will have to take the bus tomorrow (ow ow owwww)! Anyway, I have some pictures, but will post them later. There weren't as many women as men, and the few women that were there looked gay. In fact, a lot of people looked gay and I think the grossest thing was a pile of bloody stools in one of the port-a-potties I used. I think people should refrain from such damaging ass sex. ANYWAY, it was a bit rainy and it was foggy. I got totally soaked from the gross water on the road but it was okay. We started at Battery Park City at 7:30 and rode on the FDR all the way to the end and took the streets to the tip of Manhattan. There was a mandatory rest stop there and they were handing out snacks and water. We had to reorganize and then started the tour again. We then went on the Henry Hudson Drive to the West Side Highway. Some of the slopes on the FDR are murder... not to mention huge potholes filled with gross water splashing in my face and in my mouth (ugh). After a ride down the WSH, we got rerouted to 11th Ave I think and then back to the WSH, where the finish line for the 30 milers (ME) was. There were people cheering us and all that crap. I got a T-Shirt for turning in more than $100 before the tour and they had sandwiches from Subway which were totally gross (lord knows what I had... some "ham" and white cheese with pickles and relish and mayo and ugh!), UTZ chips which are totally gross and snapple water which I now like more than poland spring (has anyone else noticed the nasty flavor of poland spring nowadays?) Well, we also got a "goodie bag" which was filled with nothing good. So as a souvenier I took my MS Tour sash home.

The coordinator or president for the NY Chapter is not one of my favorite guys. I don't wish to discuss the matter but everyone I know knows what I'm talking about. Before the tour started he was on the mic and he introduced his girlfriend and asked her to marry him and she squeaked and did all the typical girlie hoo-ha you see on TV. That was the lamest thing I've ever witnessed in my life. I swear if some guy asks me that in front of everyone like that, I'd be so embarassed... then I'd have to punch him for being so dumb. Well, I guess that's just me. And I certainly wouldn't "squeak"

I would also like to mention that my bike is clearly a superior bike. You should have seen all the cheap ten speeds who had flats at the beginning! Mountain bikes rule, especially when its a Specialized.

I did have a good time sweating myself silly. I will see if I will do this again next year.

:: Jane Dee 9:36:00 AM [+] ::
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Back to talking about my school stuff

Anatomy lab was last Thursday and it involved us stabbing ourselves with a lancet and obtaining blood for a hematocrit. My values came out to about 45% which is great. We also used our blood to test for anemia using some color chart. Well, My blood was pretty dark and was in the 95% - 100% hemoglobin (to about 15 grams) range. Cool.

The funny thing about this lab was that the lancets we used we quite big and wide. They weren't thin and needle like. It was difficult to get people to stab themselves and for some reason, the men were the worst. I thought men were supposed to be tough. Pffft. Wimps. Please I had to stab myself over and over to fill up that capillary tube. Talk about threshold of pain. OUCH!

Now I have to think about whether I want to join the Nursing Club or not. I guess it would be nice, but the thing is that all the ideas I have for fairs and stuff are taken by the community health club or whatnot. Well, at least they didn't steal my top secret idea to raise money. Heheheh.

Okay, I think it's time i finished cleaning my room, no?

:: Jane Dee 7:35:00 PM [+] ::
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News Update!

Since tomorrow is the MS Bike Tour, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for sponsoring me in this year's MS Bike Tour. As a special thank you, I will wear the names of all my sponsors on a special shirt that I will wear on my tour. Thank you all again, your kindness is greatly appreciated! Wish me luck!


Now that I saw him I want him! There are some Australian Blue Lobsters at a fish shop (pet fish) near me and they are so cute. I was thinking baout getting a crayfish, but these guys took my breath away. I don't know if I want one at $40, but I'll think about it.

:: Jane Dee 10:05:00 AM [+] ::
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Unbelieveable!

That crazy bitch prof surprised me by being the prof the another class I had. The funny thing was that I waited on the program change line to drop her class and add stress management and ended up going to my arts and crafts class late... and she was teaching it! She said something but didn't look too happy. Well, after class I ran back to that line (and convinced them to let me back in) and dropped that class too. Thank god there was a different class available! So I now have a class on women's health issues as well as stress management. Well, thankfully, I was able to get a new class given how late it is. And I don't have to see her face again!

What else is there... hmm okay, I made my Inca Cola shirt and filled my fish tank... now all I need is filter fiber (aka pillow stuffing), fake plants, and ... FISH! I may also get an African dwarf frog but they are kind of boring. However, they are so cute when they eat. They just shove the brine shrimp thingies in their mouths with their little hands.

Geez Im so exhausted... I should eat a better breakfast.

:: Jane Dee 8:07:00 PM [+] ::
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I hate being pissed... what's worse is when other people make you feel this way and they think they were justified in doing so.

I just dont understand... a "nice" person wouldn't say that. So I would have to disagree with her half ass theory about how you act one way is the way you are. Hasn't she ever heard of facades? Liars? People like her?

Guess not... but I surely know.

:: Jane Dee 2:36:00 PM [+] ::
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Bad Things Happen I Guess

I went to my first day and all was going well. Until I got to my recreation class. To make a long story short, the "professor" winds up saying "...well i hope you never take care of me... you really should be more proactive with your life." referring to a) I will be a horrible nurse and b) I have no clue as to what I'm doing with my life. Not to mention she says all this in front of the class who then starts laughing at me. So I wait until the break and I tell her she is rude and unprofessional. Well, she will stick to what she thinks and claim that I came in with an attitude? What attitude? She asked me what my major was and scoffed at the fact that I, of all people could be in the nursing program. Then she asked me why I am taking this class and I said to fill up my schedule but apparently that made her mad. Stupid bitch. Thank god the class is once a week. I think I am going to tell the chairman about her unprofessional behavior. Who the hell does she think she is anyway?

:: Jane Dee 2:25:00 PM [+] ::
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LOL!

Blogger somehow signed me on someone else's blog and I wrote about it here. Hehehe

I am working on my other pages and will be dying my hair soon. Ooh I can't wait. It'll look smashing.

:: Jane Dee 12:03:00 PM [+] ::
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Hmm... this is quite the conundrum.

I gathered all the pictures I want to use for display on my webpage. Apparently the count is about 500. Do you think that is too much? Do you know how many pictures I took on this trip? about 1400. Thank God for digital because that would be about 54 rolls and at $6 a roll to develop... well let's just say I'd rather not give CVS all that dough. I would like to know how to develop my own pictures but that class will have to wait.

Hmm. I don't even think I have enough room left for all these pictures even if I made them all small. Well, I guess im going to have to choose the best ones. And then wind up buying more space for my webpage. It seems inevitable because there are so many other things I will want to post not to mention how I'd like to upload my computer art. Maybe during the winter, when I will assume I have some time, I can delete some pictures? Maybe I can use someone else for space? (heheh) Oh whatever. I'm sure I'm over thinking it.

Back to work!

:: Jane Dee 2:48:00 PM [+] ::
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Damn yo!

I ordered my lovely rolling bookbag on Tuesday afternoon and got it today, Thursday, at about 10:30am thanks to FedEx and the quick service at LL Bean. I am truely impressed by the speed! And to think I was going to wait at least until next week. Pfft! This is why I prefer FedEx to UPS: two days means two days. When I order from Amazon, lets say, my stuff takes so long to get here because they use UPS. Once I ordered Mozart's Symphony No. 30 from them and asked for the two day shipping because I needed it ASAP but didnt want to pay for overnight. Well, I waited and waited and it took FOUR days to reach me and I was so nervous because I really needed that symphony for a report for music class. It took three days to even get to my door to which those annoying yellow stickers were left saying how sorry they were that they missed me. You know something? My mother said that once she was waiting for a package from UPS and the guy didnt even ring the bell; she caught him simply writing out that blasted sticker without even checking if we were there! What an outrage! Well, I wrote a letter to Amazon saying how upset I was that I needed two day shipment and it didnt come in two days and I was just so distressed... well, they refunded my shipping costs and all was well with the world. I got an A on that report too.

:: Jane Dee 2:15:00 PM [+] ::
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By the way...

My CBAC (corned beef and cabbage) is totally awesome! Now that I have almost perfected one of my most favorite dishes, I can officially move CBAC Night (previously at the pub) from Thursday to any day I choose! Hmm... Maybe Friday? Maybe Sunday? I love delicious decisions!

:: Jane Dee 1:52:00 AM [+] ::
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GEEZ!

Well I thought I would be able to update while on the road but it seems that the update demon has jinxed me. Who would have known that a windows worm and a blackout would happen? Well, not only that, I (we) were driving so much and didn't even stay in a room! We slept on the road lol! We are such bums. Well, when I come back, I will share all the great pictures (there are ALOT) and all the great stories (including Panda Power)... it'll be great. See ya soon!

:: Jane Dee 12:01:00 AM [+] ::
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On my way!

Rock and roll! I'm going on a way cool cross country road trip in less than 6 hours. Keep you posted.

By the way, I think Lou and I made up.

To the other lou (luis): Batchelor cookoff sounds awsome!

To Alex, I will find you kick ass fudge.

To Jared: you poor baby! I would make you some kosher corned beef brisket but I don't have the kosher utensils. Nosh anyone?

:: Jane Dee 10:11:00 PM [+] ::
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Summertime Stress

I have decided to redo my hallway and foyer and my goodness! The hallway is the hardest thing because the ceiling is so high and the steps are not a friendly place for a ladder to be. However, the two story ladder managed to get into the house and help with the work. I am not done and I don't know how much more I can take of this painting, sweating (stinking), hungry, muscles hurting job. I have no idea why I decide to do these things when I could have just relaxed. Well, I may post some "after" pictures but the before pictures are so bad that I didn't even bother to take the pictures. I will make this one point clear: I am not doing these hallways again.

More Summertime Stress

My mother is very crazy and is currently telling me that my father has "no more than two years left." Okay, true or not true, she should really stop telling me stuff that doesnt make any sense. I'm not sure if she read doctors reports about his cancer or used her "psychic abilities" to see the results. It just upsets me. But why should that matter? Does anyone care anyway??

Well, for some reason, I remembered that my mother had kept his dog tags from his days in the army (60s?) and I wanted to have them. Unfortunately, she said he took them back (long story) and doesn't know where they are. Well, that is just great. If he is to pass on earlier than expected, I will have no real memory... so I got all upset that I will never have his tags. All I kept thinking was that they were right there, spinning in my face as my mother or father or whoever, took them out of the safe deposit box. So I sat there sadly tryingto forget they ever even existed. I had tried to remember that the things in this existence are just stuff and that they are not as valuable as the spirit. But that didn't work and now I'm totally bummed out about not having those tags. I am so bummed out I don't even want to go to the greatest exhibit on the planet. All I did was paint and hope it would go away. Well, obviuosly not. So I rummaged through his desk drawer and stole, uh, I mean, borrowed his fabulous army pictures he stashed in there. There is one shot in particular where he looks like a total geek. My mother has a few photo albums from way too long ago that showcase his army days. Maybe when she clears the clutter in that "room" I can take a look at it.

But I decided that until the aforementioned clutter is cleared, I will make no more mention of this situation ever again.


And Finally, the Good Summer Stress

After doing many, MANY errands today, the cross country road trip has been confirmed and me and G (am I allowd to mention his name?) are on our way to California. I was thinking I would bring my psychology book to see what the field is all about so I could make some decisions on my future goals... but maybe that is too nerdy. Well, I will definately update my webpage on the road as well as this blog so you can see our progress. I will probably shove it all on the travelogue page. I will definately have to get back to that.

Now it is time for some sleep.

:: Jane Dee 12:18:00 AM [+] ::
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And now, on with the rest of time

:: Jane Dee 11:25:00 PM [+] ::
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Wow... talk about not giving a damn

So the friend I have been discussing has decided that I am defensive and that I will only end up hurting myself. Is that so? I don't know about that, but I wrote her a response and she did not respond. It seems that my suspicion of her not wanting to be friends with me is true. She had said that I was using this as an excuse not to be friends. Why? Because I said to not talk to me until she grows up? Maybe. However, I think that friends should care about how you feel and by her saying that hints at projection. Yes, until she realizes what a friendship should be, I think I have had enough. I don't deserve to be treated like this AND blamed for it. I really wanted to get this friendship going, but now I am afraid that will not be possible. I cannot and do not feel like competing against guys she thinks she is going to marry. Maybe when she isn't attached again she will come around and I will have a better status. But until then, I don't mean a thing.

:: Jane Dee 11:24:00 PM [+] ::
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Friends... can't live with them, can't live without them... or was that women?

What do I do about Lou?

This is not a good situation. I think she does it on purpose. Ugh. All I can do is wonder what she thinks about me as a person... does she mean what she says etc etc? I wonder. Sigh. Maybe I shuouldn't even bother with her when she has a boyfriend. It's just odd that she is right here and well, doesn't seem to have the time for me even after making plans. I guess I should have figured she would dissappear this summer. Okay, now I'm rambling. However, I figured I would leave her alone. There is no sense trying to make her hang out with me if she doesn't want to. If she wants to hang out with me, I guess he will let me know. Well, at least that is what I assume.

What do I do about that??

You know what sucks sometimes? When you think about things you shouldn't think about. You know, when you suddenly get flashbacks and think "why"? Well, I think it was because Alex brought up some stuff. It got me thinking you know? But is it wrong? Should I say it's not happening? I hope it's just part of healing and will make me stronger. However, it did make me think of a great video to a certain song, to which I will not share.

:: Jane Dee 7:22:00 PM [+] ::
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Humph!

I have "friend" problems. Ughhh!

Anyway, I was enjoying my first few days of vacation and it has been nice. I went to see The Donnas on the Carson Daly show (what a fag) and I thought it was nice of her to recognize me but I kinda got scared when she pinched me (the singer). I ceratainly follow them around too much. Half of the audience didn't even know who the hell they were and that was kind of annoying. And no, Carson is NOT hot.

HOWEVER, there was an aerospace convention going on outside in Rockafellar Center and there were these totally hot Air Force guys walking around. I so wanted to go there the next day with my binoculars-slash-digital camera (hehehe) and take pics of the cutest ones but I had plans with someone and they decided not to follow through because Im not important enough. Well, I hope I can go take a look soon (wink wink).

Despite that, I have been pretty happy being guy free. No more guys to make fun of me, no guys I want to punch in the stomach, no guys who want me to give them naked pics, no guys who want to kidnap me, no guys who bore me, and certainly no guys who are just plain dumb. I mean what's the point. Every date is like hell and I have too many stories. So I will stick to being single for as LONG as I can.

Now here is the good news and interesting news:

GOOD NEWS: My friend Gezim has been planning a cross country road trip and has asked ME to go! Can we say "hell's yeah"?? oooh! I can't wait!

Interesting news: So I was thinking about it... maybe I should go to medical school and be a doctor. I mean, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be hard and it seems like a useful career. It does take a long time though. And I don't like doctors that much. So what to do? Well, my new goals were to get two masters in nursing and if I couldnt find the right school that offers what I want for a PhD in nursing, Id get a PhD in psychology or whatnot given I want to go into psychiatric nursing. But wouldnt it be great to be a doctor.... I can be a REAL doctor and open up an office in a place that needs one. And maybe be a psychiatrist? Hmm. Well, I have to get my RN first. I have to make money somehow first!

Interesting News: I am definately going to adopt a kid when I am 25 and over. There are so many cute kids in poor countries who are preteens who will never get adopted... and that is just what I want! I want a boy age 10+ and I hope he has colored eyes too. Wow, Im so excited. Im going to have an effort free family!

and to end this blog.... I am having the best time ever in the nursing program. If only I knew how shitty math was going to be, I would have done this in the first place! I am going to be sooooo happy. I already am! If you see me in the hallway from time to time, I may be smiling for no reason it seems, but I do have a reason... I am SO HAPPY! FINALLY I am doing something that really makes me happy. And to top it all off, I CAN STILL TEACH MATH! HAHAHAHAHA!

:: Jane Dee 4:41:00 PM [+] ::
...