:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: The Headache Diaries (Retired) ::

:: 6.30.2010 ::

I WIN!!

HAHA! I WON! I GOT MY REFUND FOR THE ORGANIC CLASS WOO HOO!!!

Take that professor!

You know, I propose a new system for professors to get paid. They have to get paid by how many people finish the class. So that way, all the crappy professors won't get paid much because everyone would have dropped the class. Then, all the good teachers will get paid more because everyone stays in their class. And then, students like me can feel vinidicated when they drop their class. I can be satisfied that at lest they wont get paid. Now that would be an awesome system.

Of course I am one of the few people that actually pay for school with cash. If you have finacial aid, then you pretty much don't have any rights. Which is wrong! What about the taxpayers like me that have to support crappy professors? I say this rule should apply to everyone! And if the student withdraws, the finacial aid money should go back into the system. In fact, if the student withdraws and they have finacial aid, the professor should have to pay an extra penalty to the taxpayers for being such a jerk. Yeah, I like that. A jerk tax. There would be many poor professors HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

Just so sick of useless professors that don't care about their job and the power and influence they actually have. If I started a school, that would be the system. Just like the real world where you EARN your raises, this would be the same deal. Base pay of $40K and the rest is performance based. That way they have to work at winning over their students. No more excuses. Then, once the whole world knows that the professors at the school care and work hard to earn your approval, more students will come and the professors will make MORE money. They wouldn't have a limit. It would be like a salesman job. You have no ceiling; its all based on your performance. If everyone loves you and you teach great you should get rewarded for that. If you are a crappy teacher with awful methods then you should be punished. Now I just have to find some rich philanthropist who wants to give me money to start a school...

In other news, I lost 13 pounds. I guess sitting around all day and not doing my laborous job helps me eat less without having a ravenous appetite. I eat about 1500 cal a day and I am not too hungry. If I was at my old job, forget it, I pass out by now. When I started at FDX, I gained 20 pounds in the first month because I was moving heavy thing around (like carpets and transmissions).Then I actually had to lift them and walk with them and set them down and I became very solid. Then When I came to Arizona, I gained a bit more weight so I could drag 500 pound skids through dirt driveways. Not fun. Anyways, Im glad I left to persue my new goals because I wasnt fond of doing that kind of work on days like this (110+ degrees) Sometimes, when you exert so much force on such a hot day, your blood pressure rises so much that you feel like you are going to explode. Im am not joking. You actually have to stop, breathe, and move very slowly to stabilize the pressure again. Try it! go out side when it is very hot and humid or the sun is on you full blast. Take a boulder and roll it around. Then, after you have been sweating for five minutes, try to drag it. The boulder has to be at least 200 pounds. Use a boulder that you can barely drag. Use every ounce of strength you have to move it and let go. See? You will feel like you want to faint or you want to explode. Fun job I had. Now I sit in the A/C and read books, write out notes, eat lunch, play computer games, and make dinner.

Now I know why wives dont want to go to work. I am actually more appreciated for the work I do for my husband and my cat than the work I did for my old company. HAHA Im not kidding. I get more praise and respect washing clothes and making food than dragging crap around and driving trucks. Oh well.

So now that June is winding down, or actually is over, I have one whole month to get this biology over with. I hope I can do it. I am on molecular genetics now and I have never learned this stuff so its taking a while. Once I get into fungus and viruses and the body and physiology stuff, I should be flying through it. I am looking forward to my NEW ochem class and hope to do well.

See You next month!

:: Jane Dee 1:03:00 PM [+] ::
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Still Organizing The Studies

I finally finished video #4 of the biology series yesternight and geez, they take forever. the only good news is that I will have gone through about two pages of study outline of the MCAT.

Im also waiting for my ACS study guide to come in. I want to see how hard these questions are.

Right now I am kind of annoyed because I am unsure of how to begin this part of studying. I guess whats throwing me off is the lack of equations like in physics and chem. I think I just need to write definition and ideas for biology, right? I can't imagine it being anything else.

Well, lets see how that will work on my new index cards. Blue = Biology, Yellow = Organic Chemistry, Red = Inorganic Chemistry, and Aqua = Physics. I've been using this color scheme since I started college. All my notebooks and folders match the color of the course. I've never took ochem before, but yellow wasn't used often, except in computer programming. Now that I won't be programming in FORTRAN, I can use the yellow color scheme for ochem. (geez I forgot I took courses in programming languages! I took PASCAL, FORTRAN 4, Visual Basic, and C)

Okay I wasted enough time, back to work!

:: Jane Dee 2:27:00 PM [+] ::
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Pondering My options

So now that I am officially out of the summer organic (I had to "check out" of lab today), I have been studying my biology and I am not amused. I am unsure of how I will assimilate this knowledge in a month, but that is my hope because I want to take thenext MCAT test and be almost done with bio by the time the fall semester rolls around. Biology is taking a long time! This is annoying. My best bet is to now create a schedule (!) and stick to that. I also have to study ochem too! So this is going to be interesting.

I also figured out where I would like to volunteer. The problem is that I am going to Alaska for two weeks in a month or so and I am not sure if starting now and then trying to get someone to cover for me for two weeks is a good idea or just wait until after the vacation and apply so I can do my six months while in ochem. If I start later, should I put in my application now anyways? Hmmmm.

I would also have to get up early everyday. I would need to block in hours of work for each subject. I also havent studied for the verbal reasoning or brushed up on my essays. Sigh. I am unsure of how to throw these in.

Well, at least the MCAT is more definite. I think I am going for the March 2011 test. I should be ready by then! If not I guess I can take it in April, but I would much prefer the March test.

So Im off to eat lunch then study some more biology. And perhaps finalize my schedule...

:: Jane Dee 12:53:00 PM [+] ::
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Slow Arrangements

I am trying to figure out how best to study this biology and organic. So far. I can see that the biology is going to take more hours out of the day than I originally thought. Hmm. I am not sure if I need to buy another workbook for biology or just use whatever I have now. I also assume I need to get up earlier to study since these two topics seem to be time eaters.

I also put in my application for volunteering at the VA. I hope they get back to me! If I can't volunteer there, Im not sure where I'd start looking. I guess a nearby hospital or clinic would be best.

In good news, Ive lost ten pounds already. Im well on my way to 120. Hurray!

It's 630pm and Ive done barely any work today except for some quizzes. I need to motivate myself better. The problem is that I have no competition. No competition = no motivation to win. Well, I hope I find some kind of reason soon! I only have a couple of months until class... again.

:: Jane Dee 6:23:00 PM [+] ::
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Feelin' Better, But Still Annoyed

I went to school today to register for my next semester's class that I withdrew from. I also filed an appeal to try to get my money back or get the W taken away or both, but probably neither. I am "okay" with the W but I just didn't think the semester would turn out like this. So here is some advice to you:

1) If you are trying to get into a graduate program that is very competitive, do yourself a favor and don't take summer classes. If anything goes wrong, you will pay severely.
2) Make sure that the professor is there to help you do your best. If you meet the professor and introduce yourself and you feel like he or she is not interested in your success and may actually hinder it, drop the class as soon as possible. Try to do it before you have to take a W. Don't trust that your professor will help you out because they won't.
3) If your guts tell you to do something, DO IT. It doesn't matter what you think your experience is in the school world. If you need favors from a professor and they are a jerk, and you feel immediately that they won't help you or that they may grade you harshly, take action immediately. Switch the section or drop the class.
4) Don't be scared - it's your money... unless you are on state or federal assistance, then I'd have to say that you better start learning to kiss a lot of ass. (I have paid cash for about 90% of my schooling so I can complain and drop classes all I want.)

I am just sick and tired of professors that think its okay to be assholes. Its not. I paid cash for their services and expect a fair deal. None of this nonsense would fly in the real world and this certainly wouldn't work in business. I just think that academia makes stupid rules because they know you cant do much about it.

Anyway, enough of my ranting and on with life.

I was going to take practice MCAT #2 today but decided against it because I actually have until mis August to take it (you only have a year to play around with the test when you buy it from them) and that means I can keep studying fro biology. There are 11 pages of biology you must know versus 5 pages of organic on the exam. My guess is that they ask A LOT more questions pertaining to biology than organic, which may explain why so many people do better in the biological sciences section (aptly named) compared to the physical sciences section. Of course, at this point Ive done much better in the physical section. If I can get the same score in the bio section as the physical section, Id be pretty happy. Of course it would be great to get higher too.

So I have about two months to get bio out of the way since I will not have my organic grades until a little bit after the start of the 2011 application season. My original plan was to get the organic out of the way then study bio the beginning of next year. Eh, this is okay too. I havetime to study now and make my flash cards, then while I'm in the organic class, I can go over ALL of my flashcards (maybe make some new ones for ochm but not sure if I would need to) then maybe take the MCAT in January? Im not sure I need to rush it but we'll see. I'm shooting for April 2011. Im sure everyone else is too. I am also not sure if I should register for it now or wait. I don't want the seats to be taken and then I haveto wait untill later to take it. That would stink. Oh well, we'll see.

Right now, it's time to get busy with biology!

:: Jane Dee 1:03:00 PM [+] ::
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Take Two

What a horrible week this has been. When my professor finally came back from his hiatus, my whole world just turned upside down.

Our class was doing fine with the substitute (whom I liked very much) and the time to drop the class without penalty came and went. Almost two weeks of an eight week course have passed and he did not show up. So I figured he wasnt coming back. But he did and I was surprised to learn how unmotivated he is.

The most pressing issue for me right now with this class is obtaining a letter of reccomendation. I NEED A LETTER OR I CANNOT EVEN APPLY TO ALMOST ALL MED SCHOOLS. This issue cannot be taken lightly and cannot be overemphasized. Well, the problem with this class with this professor is that he may be too ill to teach the rest of this semester and has told the chairman that he should "look for someone more reliable" to teach next semester. I had met up with him and asked him about his status and he really didnt have anything good to say. I told him that I needed a professor that was going to stay a while so they can get to know me because I need a letter of recommendation. He said if I did well on the ACS exam (final) I can get a letter. But what would it say? The class has about 6 weeks left. Writing a letter saying I did well in the class isnt saying anything other than what they can see on a transcript. I said "what would you write that I passed the final? How would you get to know me?" He said "I'll know you." Huh?

See, this class is a pivotal class and I cannot mess around here. I need a teacher who is going to get to know me and see me through a hard class so they can write a good letter. The letter has to tell them about who I am, how theyview me as a doctor, how they feel I would do, and some other opinions that may help sway the admissions board. If next semester I get an adjunct or a TA, I cant get a letter from them, they don't count. What if he falls ill and I cant get a hold of him after this semester? It would be a very bad spot for me to be in, having nobody to write me a letter.

So, after speaking with some important people, I am doing the unthinkable: I am withdrawing from organic I, and will retake it in the fall with the other teacher who will teach both semesters. That way, because she already knows me, I can build rapport with her and get a REAL letter of reccomendation.

Ive been sick about it for a while and I knew I should have dropped the class immediately when I heard he wasnt goin to show up. NOw I feel really stupid and I will have to explain yet another withdrawal. If I had professors from previouos years lined up to give me recommendations, I would finish this class. But I don't and that is why this screwed me up really bad.

I just wish I listened to myself in the first place. I know that having a W for organic looks really, really, bad, but I need certain things to even apply to school! That is how important that letter is.

I guess I just have to keep telling myself that. But this is the right choice. I just think that I have almost completely erased my chances of getting into an MD school. I may have a chance, but with this new bruise, the chances are even slimmer than they were.

So in the meantime, I will volunteer at the VA and keep working at the chapters in organic and continue where I left off in biology. I still need to study that and practice some essays too you know.

The other bad outcome is that I will be getting my organic grade a little later so I will be sending in my application a few weeks after schedule. Not too bad, but not the best thing either.

When life gives you lemons, sell them, then buy some orange trees.

:: Jane Dee 12:58:00 PM [+] ::
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A Day In History

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT TODAY, JUNE 9, 2010, IS HEREBY THE LAST DAY THAT THE ORIGINAL VAIO COMPUTER WILL EVER MAKE A POST ON THIS NETWORK. IT WILL HERBY BE THE LAST DAY THE AFOREMENTIONED VAIO WILL CHECK ANY EMAIL, LOG ONTO ANY FAMILIAR WEBSITES AND SOCIAL NETWORKS. THIS IS HERETO THE LAST DAY FOR FUNCTIONALITY OF THIS VAIO, ACROSS ALL INTERNET ARENAS. THIS VAIO WILL BE PACKAGED AND SHIPPED TO BE RECYCLED ON THE EVE OF ITS EIGHTH BIRTHDAY, WHERE IT MAY ENTER COMPUTER HEAVEN AND RUN BIOS COMMANDS IN SPIRIT. HERE IS THE DAY THAT THIS LOYAL AND FAITHFUL SERVANT WILL BE RETIRED WILL FULL HONOR AND DIGNITY, AND SHALL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN FOR ALL ITS HARD WORK IN CREATING MY WEB PAGES AND BLOGS, SEEING ME THROUGH COUNTLESS ONLINE DATING ADS, AND NUMEROUS SITES OF RESEARCH, SHOPPING, AND ENTERTAINMENT. THE VAIO THAT IS TO BE RETIRED HAS SEEN MANY YEARS AND HAS TRAVELLED WITH ME ACROSS THE COUNTRY, BY CAR, TRUCK, AND PLANE. THANK YOU VAIO, FOR YOUR EIGHT YEARS OF SERVICE, FOR WITHOUT YOU, I WOULD NOT HAVE LEARNED ALL I HAVE LEARNED AND EXPERIENCED ALL I HAVE EXPERIENCED. GODSPEED.


Thank you VAIO for all you have done! You are truely a fine piece of engineering! I wish you well on your journey to computer heaven! XOXO!!

:: Jane Dee 5:55:00 PM [+] ::
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I Hate You, Organic Chemistry!

Still no word on what's going on with the class! I can't believe this!!!!!! I have NO CLUE as to when or if he is coming back, if we'll have a test, if he is a jerk and give us a test asap, how fast he is going to go AND ON TOP OF THAT, because he is slightly ill, he may not be teaching next semester, which is what I will be taking. Then who will write me a recommendation????? AAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME????

The only thing I can think of is that I can beg the teacher I have now to write me a recommendation next semester if I help her out and such, the only problem is that she is not my professor and I will have to explain to schools why I cant even produce one letter from a professor. This whole thing is going downhill faster and faster everyday. I feel like breaking everything!!!!!

Now I have to go study stuff I learned all on my own because we are all screwed up. This is the worst semester I ever had!

:: Jane Dee 1:42:00 PM [+] ::
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A Better Day In Class

Today's class and lab went much better today. Only a couple of stupid questions today and we actually finished chapter 2. We should be finishing chapter 3 but whatever. The lab was pretty cool. My lab partner never showed up! Laff riot! I was very relieved. I wasnt in the mood to rush through this lab again. I really hope he doesnt show up again. I also hope the original professor doesn't show up. I just would rather stay with what I am doing.

In any case, I am going to make dinner and then study chapter 4. I hope I can finish most of it tonight then I can start reviewing for the first exam.

:: Jane Dee 5:37:00 PM [+] ::
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Only Seven More Weeks To Go

Doesn't seem like much of a triumph, but the small stuff adds up.

I just finished my homework for class and it wasnt too bad. I hope that the teacher I have now stays and the original teacher decides not to come back. I think I would like her better.

You know, my VAIO turns 8 years old this month. Holy crap I can't believe it. It works, its just the screen that seems to be messed up. Well, not the screen, because I tried to plug in an external monitor and the same problems occur. I don't know what it is, but it affects the screen. I don't think I am going to fix it this time. I will let the VAIO run its course and let it die happy. Its worth about $40 at the Sony store but I think its worth more to me than $40. I guess I will get another VAIO when this one finally dies.

I also learned that I have keratosis pilaris which is bumpy skin. This is on my arm. Ive just been picking at it so much lately that I have a bunch of scabs on my arm. Ive had this since I was a teenager, and it annoyed me, but I never cared too much about it. It's coming back now a bit and I wonder why. I guess I need to scrub better on my arms. Thats what made it go way down the first time, when they started selling those net scrubber things for the shower.

My rosacea has calmed down since I bought Yves Rocher's Biospecific Active Sensitive Redness Relief Moisturizing Treatment. I use it every other day or so and it actually brings my redness down. It also takes care of the flaky skin. I assume if you have more than mild rosacea, this probably won't work. My skin is flaky, red, irritated, and has some bumps here and there.

Now its getting late, I better finish up my work. I have a lot of chores to do tomorrow and its going to be very hot, like 110.

:: Jane Dee 5:31:00 PM [+] ::
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First Day Of Lab Sucks

Today's lab was not to my liking. Not only is the teacher not an organic teacher, I got paired up with a total ass in lab class. I can't hear anything the teacher is saying because he talks low and the stupid vent is very loud. Then this guy sits next to me and he smells like brut. I was hoping he would be smart, but I fear the worst after today.

See, he is the type of person that comes to school with the intent of making you wonder why he is in school. He doesn't have a pen. I will venture further and say he doesn't have a clue either. He "takes notes" (not) using his computer. Not that I have anything against people who use computers, but this is lab, you just need some stupid paper. It's faster. Then he is also text-messaging non-stop while the teacher is explaining the lab. I felt like smashing his technology over his head. HOW DO YOU COME TO LAB WITHOUT A PEN?

Then, oh, get this, I go up and get the unknown and ask the teacher how to do it again. When I get back to the station, nerf-nuts tells me that I should have asked him, it's so easy, he knows how to do it and that he will show me how. Oh really? Hm. Well, after step two, he didnt seem to know what he was doing. He gets three unknowns and tries to mix them with who knows what. I say "No, you only need one unknown and two knowns so you can compare the melting points." Then he has the moron nerve to say "what? I was doing what you were telling me to do." Really now.

Then he blatently disregards the directions and turns the heat way too high. Ugh. I just hope that this lab isnt graded too harshly. I guess I'll have to see.

I also have no clue as to what is going on in lab. I hope it will be more organized next time. I printed out everything I could find on this class that was on blackboard (which I also hate). I guess I could meet with the lab teacher and see how I can overcome my first poor lab and get on track to an A. I have to see if I can do the experiments myself if need be. Maybe I can switch sections?

I also heard that the original professor may come back. WTF. If he comes back, I don't know if that would prevent him from giving me a letter of recommendation. This is already a short session and I am most likely not going to get one as it stands.
UGH!! IM SO ANNOYED. I think I still have time to change labs though. However, the lab I am in now may be easier because the teacher was thrown in at the last second, and he seems to be unorganized as well. This may be advantageous for now...

So I guess I just have to suck it up for now. I will ask TJ what he thinks about switching lab groups but I think I will just stay where I am. I will just ask the professor if I can do the experiments on my own if I cannot get my lab partner to be more diligent in his work.

:: Jane Dee 5:25:00 PM [+] ::
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One Down, 29 To Go

My first day of class went well enough. I came in early and the professor that came in was not a man but a woman. At first I thought it was a student playing a joke, but it was another professor filling in because the original professor had a medical emergency and will not be able to teach the semester. I was kind of glad because the professor is a woman and now I dont have to be afraid that she is going to hit on me when I try to get a recommendation from her. I also learned that this school has an ACS standardized final exam. I have no idea if that is bad or good but there are study guides to this standardized test.

Ive been trying to find the review book for this ACS test, but Im not finding anything but some old copies on Amazon. Hm.

Other than that, I found out that I can use whatever textbook I'd like! And I also found out that there is a textbook for use in the tutor center, not the library. The one is the library was taken away last week.

I also have lab tomorrow. I hope all the lab stuff gets worked out soon. Not that Im anxious to learn organic, I just dont want to be rushed to learn because everything is screwed up.

We'll see tomorrow!

:: Jane Dee 6:47:00 PM [+] ::
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