Welcome! This blog is Retired. However, you may still enjoy some of the finer pages of vintage online ramblings out there! Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log, people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like. Blog officially retired 02.14.2021
:: Welcome to The Headache Diaries (Retired)
Hello from the future! This blog is officially retired. I will not post to this blog again.
It has been a good bloggy run! I am going to start fresh on a different site. I don't know where, but somewhere. I have updated the archive links so have a blast from the past while you are visiting.
If you have found this blog from an internet search, congratulations! That was quite the keyword.
Well, only technically. I mean, whether my mind is all there is another story.
Sunday went okay. "Wanda" wasn't as annoying as I thought she would be but that may be because she has some family issues to deal with. She did hog me all morning as usual. At least I was expecting it this time. It also helps not being pregnant! It was REALLY easy walking all day without a huge belly, loose joints, and an extra 50 pounds. It was also much easier dealing with "Wanda's" ways. It was much easier to give her a little 'tude back! Ha ha! I'm not dreading it too much anymore.
Now the interesting thing that happened this week is that on Sunday during lunch I went on the intranet to look up jobs that are only posted for employees and I saw the night position for dishwasher posted. I was curious because my supervisor had said she wasn't going to hire anyone for the night shift because she already had someone there. So I wondered if that person left. The next day I texted the cashier and asked her and sure enough, that guy left. What was funny is that she said the manager (who nobody likes) was leaving and that I should come back. I was like "He's leaving?? Hey, I'll think about it!" I asked her to ask the supervisor if she would be interested in working with me since I will need night hours and such. She said the supervisor said she would because she needs people. I said I would see what my manager thinks. I called the old supervisor and asked if she really would work with me blah blah, and she said she could but it would have to be a part time position because the full time isn't flexible. Then she mentioned there is a part-time position and some on-call position she will post later. At first, I was going to apply for the vacant full time position, hoping my manager would okay a transfer. Then I said hmm... how can I exploit this? My solution was to keep my position now and ask if I can add an on-call position. That way, when I start school and have to drop the weekend position (I am eyeballing the evening program that meets on Saturdays as well), I would, at the very least, have this on call position. I think that after a few months, I may be able to work something out because no one stays in that department for long and I may be able to go part time again anyways. My desire is to stay in a scheduled part time position so I can get tuition reimbursement, but I will settle for an on-call position if it doesn't work out. So I called her today and said I will be on-call with her and told her my hours. She said she would call me when she posts it. Not that I am negative, but I kinda believe her, and then I kinda don't. But if she actually calls me, I will take it and hopefully work into the night on weekends and add a few nights during the week here and there.
Other than that, things are pretty normal around here. I do plan to rearrange my office into the other room so that I can do my computer stuff/study/school work during the day while TB sleeps in the other room. She behaves most of the time and I could get stuff done, but when I tap away on the computer or move my noisy chair around, she wakes up. I don't want her to wake up if she doesn't have to so I will put my office into the "guest" room, and have TB have her own room. I was originally going to have the guest room her room, but after being in there a few nights, it is noisy as hell. You can hear the stupid neighbor dog barking, and when its windy and rainy it's noisy as hell too. She would wake up constantly. The room I am in now is pretty quiet so I will make that her room. I bought a new futon to put in my room and I will put the full bed in her room along with the crib. In the future, all my office stuff will go in my bedroom, but that isn't until I have another kid, so that won't be for a while.
My pathophysiology class starts in September, so I am hoping that I can get my shit together before then. What I mean is that I am terribly lazy during the day. I am thinking it is because I can't make noise in my room because I will wake TB. So I wind up just watching videos and doing nothing until TJ comes home. Hopefully, when I change the rooms around, I will be able to do more during the day and TB can sleep without being disturbed. I would also like to get rid of quite a few things, especially some old furniture and pots, clothes and makeup, etc.. Well, at the very least I will change the rooms. Then me and TB should both be happier.
So that's the plan for next week. This weekend I have my butt wiping session with "Wanda" and I can't wait!!!!!
Today is my last day of FMLA. I go to work tomorrow. Luckily, I was able to get Wednesdays off and now only work Saturday and Sunday. This schedule will work for now, until I have to go to physical school. The earliest that will happen is next summer. It could take longer so I may be able to secure a different job by then. I am actually hoping that happens. I would like to keep my job, but they don't offer evening or night hours. That is the type of schedule I need in order to keep working.
I know "Wanda" wanted me to come in today, cutting my FMLA short. I didn't want to do that. I don't see a reason to. I know she was saying so and so wasn't there blah blah, but what does that have to do with me? I don't know. I'm not sure why she is such a pest, but she is. Ever since she has been there, she has been demanding and manipulative. Obviously I don't do anything she wants, and I assume that if she winds up doing my yearly review, she will give me low scores. She will say something like "You need to work on ____" and "I've heard that you do ____ so you must make sure you don't do ________." Right like I really have a lot to work on. In any case, I am not excited to see her, and I assume she will say some kind of snide remark about me only working one day, to which I will say "Yup".
I think going back to work on the wekends won't be as bad now that TB sleeps through the night for the most part. I guess time will tell how annoying the job gets, especially with you-know-who.
Well, I guess I better finish the laundry and pick and outfit for tomorrow!
That's right! This is it! I go back to work next week!
It's kind of hard to believe it's been 3 months already. Perhaps I was enjoying myself too much. Ha ha! Well, the first month is definitely a blur; I barely remember anything until I read this blog. The second month I remember more, but it's not pleasant. The third month things start coming together. TB started to sleep through the night, and I got my sanity back. I have less anxiety than I did starting out, and I assume if I have another kid, I won't be as nervous and worried. I don't bleed anymore, my boobs have healed, I am losing weight, and I eat normally now. So I can definitely say I need the whole 12 weeks to get back to normal.
The good news is that I got the Wednesdays taken off. I now work only Saturday and Sunday. This schedule is perfect because I will not have to use daycare. At the rate I make, I wouldn't be able to pay for daycare. Not for a part time job anyways. I am still looking for evening jobs that will work with the school schedule in the future. Right now, working the weekends is okay, but it will conflict with school if I wind up doing the weekend program. If I wait until TB is two, I can go to the day program and leave her in daycare. But since they offer a weekend program, I would rather just do that and downgrade to on-call if I have to. I would rather find an evening job, like 1800 - 2400, but I don't think they have many of those at SHC. They might, and I would assume it is in food services or something. We shall see.
As for the past three months: I can't say I got much done! A long time ago, I thought that during my time off I would paint the rooms and do all kinds of things in the house. HA HA HAAA! What a joke. You barely know where you are half the time and I thought I was going to do painting? Well, now I know for next time. The three months won't be a time to do housework!
The next couple of days I guess I will just have to get my stuff ready. I have to see what clothes fit and what to get rid of. Luckily, I don't have to buy ugly green uniforms like I thought. I am good to go with the collared shirts that I have. I think some may be too big, but baggy is better than too tight. As I lose more weight, I can put those away for next time.
There are some updates here, but I won't do a backwards entry thingy. I will just state what things have occurred and their significance.
T-Bird Finally Sleeps Through The Night!
TJ went back to work on Monday, but while he was able to help me I was watching how T-Bird sleeps. In the last, almost two weeks, she has been sleeping at night for at least three hours. So, the weekend before TJ was to go back to work, I tried to finally sleep at night. Obviously, it didn't work the first night since my schedule is all messed up. The second night went smoother. Monday went well, and today went awesome! She eats, I burp her, and I rock her to sleep. I am still sleeping separate from TJ, but that should change in a few months. Her crib is on our bedroom, but for now, we sleep in my office. She has her little rocker chair thingy, and I have a crappy used futon. At night I keep the formula in my room and feed her while she is till kinda sleepy. She fusses in her sleep and wakes me up, so I feed her very quietly and she goes back to sleep for a few more hours. TJ goes off to work and I can take at least a two hour nap. I have been getting up by 8 (today was 7-ish), and feeling normal again. This "feeling normal" has only been since this past weekend, so hopefully it is here to stay because I can't diet unless I feel normal. So far, so good.
Need To Feel Normal To Lose Weight
I have only lost one more pound in probably two weeks. I don't know from what, since I am not really watching what I eat. And yes, I finally got my appetite back. I would assume that eating is helping me feel normal. And as ridiculous as it sounds, I need an appetite to actually lose weight. If I don't anticipate food, I can't diet. So now that I am anticipating food, I can control what I eat, leading to faster weight loss. In my case, it comes down to me having an appetite for nutritious food vs. junk because I don't want anything except peanut M&Ms. Now that I have an appetite for eggs and cheese, and foods like that, I can lose weight. Right now, I am finishing off my pregnancy carbohydrates lying around the house such as crackers and some chocolates. I have been slowly incorporating more and more proteins to get used to the low carbohydrate. Once the snacks are finished, I will try to repeat my diet (to which I was very successful with) but eat a bit more protein and less carbohydrate. I am not giving up rice, but breads and pastas can be cut down even more than last time. I also plan to up the ante on fats, since I lost more weight while in the Caribbean just by eating more chicken skins. I know how to make them quick and easy, and I love eating skins, mmm! (If you must know how, you cook them on a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper, just as they do in food services to make bacon. Cook in the oven at 375 or 400 or whatnot for 15 mins or more and voila! Yummy, crispy, fattening chicken skins.) I guess I will elaborate on that later when I start actually doing it. For now, I am still kinda fat.
I Quit Breastfeeding
Unfortunately, I don't produce much milk. I was pumping and trying to squeeze out every last drop and hurt my arm in the process. After a while, I wasn't even making one ounce from both boobs. I just couldn't deal with it, so I quit. T-Bird is doing well on formula, ans she likes Parent's Choice the best (go figure). I gave her samples of Similac supplementing (and that didn't go well) and then gave her sample of Enfamil Gentlease since she had been fussier than normal. THAT didn't go well either. she drank it at first, but subsequent bottles she refused! She literally turned her head away from the bottle and cried. TJ tried to shove it in but she pushed it out with her tongue and cried. So he made the cheap stuff and she gobbled it up! What the hell. I know she does okay with regular Similac and Similac Total Comfort. I know there are a lot of crazy people out there on the internet who will tell you all kinds of stupid things about formula. Well, I was raised on formula, and I am healthy and doing fine. When you are losing your mind and feel like all you are is a milk machine (that doesn't produce anything), your mental health will be better off if you give the freakin' bottle. T-Bird didn't have "nipple confusion" or whatever they call it. She was more like "Dammit, the tap is dry and I'm hungry wahhhhhhh!" I learned that crazy people live on the internet and moms that go around fussing about other people's boobs have nothing better to do with their lives. Which brings me to my next point:
This Mom Crap Is Totally Overrated
I'm not saying I don't want to be a mom. I am saying that crazy women, like those mentioned above, who think being pregnant, giving birth in an inflatable kiddie pool, taking pictures of you drying and eating your placenta, and then posting those pictures of said placenta on a blog that talks about how "empowering" giving birth and eating placenta is, and what an amazing person you are for squeezing out a baby, and then going on and on about how you breastfeed all day and wear your ugly baby in a sling made of organic cotton that was "responsibly made" in Zimbabwe, and type out responses on message boards about how great you are and how awful so-and-so must be because she doesn't breastfeed or sleep with her babies in her bed because these "empowered" women sleep with their ugly babies in their bed with her smelly husband who doesn't shower so everyone can get beneficial germs that they refuse to vaccinate against because some washed up porn star said vaccines cause autism, and then tell everyone how those women are "uneducated" about birth stuff even though the woman talking probably never went to college herself, overrate this "mom" experience because clearly they have NOTHING ELSE going on in their lives. All they do is raise ugly babies and make fun of other women. I mean they can't really be serious in their accusation of people being uneducated when they believe the placenta has magical properties that will ward off the boogey man. My theory is that these women either have some kind of mental illness or just want an excuse to not go to the hospital because it is too expensive. Just fess up! You're a bunch of cheap-skates trying to make being cheap fashionable. Please stop. And stop trying to make everyone breastfeed until the damn kid is 15. People have lives, people have problems. Smoke a blunt and shut up. (And P.S., quite a few of these crazy bitches will say it's okay to drink ALCOHOL while pregnant because medical science is just trying to scare everyone with threats of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome that will never happen from just a few glasses of wine here and there. And that's another thing: STOP DRINKING WINE! HOW NASTY! I BET THEY DRINK THE CHEAP SHIT THAT COMES IN A BOX! I never even knew wine came in a BOX until TJ sorted it out for me. I thought "BOX WINE" meant there were two bottles of shitty wine in the box! HAHAAAA WOW!)
Some Tips I Learned Along The Way
I brush my teeth when I get up. If I linger in bed, TB will wake up and then I will forget then it will be 1230 and I will be scrambling to find time between feedings and diapering to brush my teeth. I also learned that my periods make my scar site tender. My scar site is also kind of numb but hurts, like it's halfway between healing or something. I also found out that hi-cut briefs are the most comfortable underwear to wear to avoid having the scar being rubbed by an elastic.
Oh and one more thing: July 7, 2014 was the first day in over six months that I wore underwear without a pad. That's right! Goodbye lochia! I won't miss you!
That is my update for now. I have to make rice and do other things. Maybe I can type something up tomorrow.
Part of this weekend sucked. I was absolutely livid at TJ for doing the unthinkable: disposing good breast milk down the drain. Now usually, I am a rational woman. However, I don't make much milk; I've never made more than 4 ounces in a day. That bottle had only one ounce in it, and that was all I had pumped in two days. So on Friday night, when I came down and saw TJ making a bottle, I said "Is that mine?" and he told me he "accidentally" threw it down the drain... Before I could even say anything, I slapped him in the arm then started yelling at him. How could he do such a thing? And on and on.
Yes, accidents happen. However, saying it was an accident and apologizing doesn't make it better. I didn't talk to him for almost two days. I cried and cried. he said "Forgive me!" and I said "NO!" I had visions of violence and divorce and running away to New York. I said I didn't care anymore. I said I don't care what he does. I cried some more. Then, later on Sunday I said "Okay. I don't feel like killing you anymore." I was honest at least. I really wasn't going to kill him. I also stopped crying.
The problem with TJ is that when he doesn't sleep enough he is totally dysfunctional. He can't even keep a conversation. This is why I don't want him to stay up with the baby during the week: he will crash the truck and die. I can get by with little sleep but he can't. And Friday and Saturday night he stays up, as if I was back at work. So after a long day at work, he has to stay up (past 8pm) and make bottles and such. So after he told me to leave out my milk, he forgets it's mine, throws it out as he is washing all the bottles, doesn't even realize what he did until later when he goes to feed T-Bird... Where's the milk? Oh shit! Now he says he was upset about it all night. I said "I can see your real grief-stricken." Sarcastically of course. I don't like being mad at him, but you have to pay attention to things, even when you think you can't. I did say that if it happens again, I will leave. Not sure I mean that though, but maybe I'll just go on a mini-vacation so I don't strangle him.
My Discharge Is Finally Brown... ish
Well, after much anxiety about bleeding to death, I can finally breathe a bit as my discharge has turned pinky-brown. Meaning its brown with a hint of pink. Hoo-ray! Joyous I will be when this crap stops flowing.
And then in other news, after over TEN YEARS, I finally got a new walkman (mp3 player). This one plays video and shows pictures, so it is a bit more advanced. The bonus is that it actually works with my OS, and I don't have to open up my old Acer using Windows XP to change songs on the player. Double hoo-ray!!
Of course I thought this long weekend would be a time to catch up and do the things we need to do around the house. Wrong! Thankfully TJ let me catch up on some sleep, but we were both tired enough not to do anything but move the kitchen trash to the large bin outside.
Well, not entirely. I did manage to go to Walmart and get some milk and frozen fruit. I also bought some colorful cutouts and such to decorate the area around T-Bird's crib. Then I went to the Asian market to get a case of tofu. I was looking for small bamboo spoons, but they didn't have them. They also didn't have the blue Adobo or the vegetable seasoning I need. That place is like shopping in the Caribbean: markets have empty shelves of stuff you want. Well, I am not going to buy stuff I don't want!
I still don't eat (much) and my milk is not going past 4 ounces. I am not sure if my poor appetite is causing that or I just don't make enough anyway. I still pump, but I will never be one of those moms with a frozen stash of milk. I am curious as to how that would be making all that milk.
Other than that, I haven't been bleeding out, thankfully. I barely have any pain at the incision and it is not red. Being able to sleep on my side again has been great. Well, when I can sleep that is. My main complaint is the anorexia, but after talking to TJ, I am feeling better about my future with food. After today, I must brace myself for another week of all-nighters with T-Bird. La de freakin' da!
Well, if I am not bleeding to death, then perhaps I can't eat anymore. My newest problem is anorexia.
My bleeding has actually almost stopped. Is it supposed to do that? Ugh, I don't know. All I know is that no blood is better than tons of blood. Now that I am approaching three weeks postpartum, I should be slowing with the bleeding, but for it to kind of stop is just weird.
Anyways, in all the "new baby" literature you read, there is always something about postpartum depression. Yes, I've been weepy, and tired, and all that. And I always have obsessive thoughts (before baby was even a twinkle in my eyeballs). However, I always like to eat. Now, I can't eat anything. I have to force myself to eat one meal a day. And it's not much of a meal. Just a sandwich. I almost went without eating yesterday, but ate a sandwich. I am not hungry nor do I have an appetite.
Combined with being weepy and I feel like I'm 19 all over again! Of course, I was miserable back then and I hated every moment. I don't particularly hate every moment now, but I do think back to points in my life and say how terrible my life is/was. Not that this is anything new to me. I do that all the time. So I can't really say I have depression. I'm kind of always depressed! The only truly new and disturbing symptom is not eating. What is funny, is when I went to my last doctor's appointment, the nurse asked me if I was eating the extra 500 calories to make milk, amounting to at least 2000 calories a day. I laughed and said "NO. I can't eat anything." She says I must "for the baby." Well, no shit! I know "must" but there is a difference between knowing what I am supposed to do and being able to do it. Well, I have not been consuming 2000 calories a day. I would be lucky if I was eating 800. I might be. But it is definitely not over 1000.
I talked to TJ about it last night. He says I should call my doctor. I said "there isn't a pill for anorexia." My best guess is that my brain is reacting to something traumatic, as if I was in a car accident, and is shutting off my appetite. TJ thinks its all the blood loss and I am reacting to it. I would have to agree. It was after all that bleeding that I didn't want to eat beef anymore. Then it just led to all food. I want food, but I don't want to eat it.
When I "woke up" this morning, I decided to make this anorexia work for me. Since I make myself eat something here and there, I will just have to eat high fat and protein so I don't dissolve my muscles. The stupid thing about not eating is that you'll lose weight, but your muscles get eaten away. So in the end you're kind of fatter. When I lost weight this time, I was very lean. That was from eating fats and protein. Kind of like an Atkins diet, but not doing the induction phase.
But since I have no idea what will happen to me next week, who knows if this idea will work out. I haven't been able to produce much milk (4oz at most per day) and without eating, I only pumped about 18ml (a little more than half an ounce) today. Hopefully, if I eat fatty foods, the supply will go up. Otherwise, I will suffer the fate of my mother and just have dry boobs. She was only able to give milk t my sister for a short while, and I had none. Maybe with a second kid, I will have none? I guess there is no point in thinking about that now. One kid at a time; One boob at a time.
Last week, my postpartum bleeding had slowed. This past weekend, it revved up and was literally leaking out of me. Am I bleeding to death?
Well, despite my anxiety and thoughts of death, I made it to the pediatrician to give T-Bird her second heel poke to check for PKU (phenylketonuria). The mean old doctor or nurse takes this poke-y device (kind of like a blood sugar poker thing) and uses it on the heel of innocent babies to draw their blood. Of course T-Bird did not appreciate this at ALL, and cried so loud, fists pumping and everything. I said to the nurse "Yeah. That's similar to how I react when I get a shot." Of course, she thought that was hilarious. Anyways, poor T-Bird was so upset she pooped her diapers. That doesn't happen to me when I get a shot, but sometimes I pass out when I get more than one at a time.
So when I came home, I was still bleeding. A lot. I mentioned it to TJ and he said to call the doctor. I told him I could have sworn they told me I would bleed for quite a few weeks, but I wasn't sure. I texted one of my coworkers from the kitchen who had 2 c-sections and she said she bled for about six weeks. Okay, maybe I was overreacting? Well it seemed that every time I took some iron to compensate for my blood loss, MORE blood comes out. The problem with this blood is that it is bright red, meaning new. So all day and night, I thought I was going to die.
The next day I saw no stopping in my bleeding. I called the doctor and they called me back. Apparently, lochia (the postpartum juice) can "ebb and flow" and go from bright red to dark red in the process. They also told me that if I am breastfeeding, then expect to bleed longer. (Funny, I thought breastfeeding helps you stop bleeding) Lochia can be pretty heavy I suppose before it actually is a hemorrhage. This page does a good job at showing what "soaking a pad in an hour" looks like. So apparently, I did not have that, and I was very happy to know that I was not bleeding to death.
This week, I plan to take it easy, meaning I will do nothing. Now that all the doctor appointments are out of the way and most of the shopping is done, I can rest. Well, as much as the baby will let me. If I don't update again, then I guess I bled out.
One week after my eligibility, I'm out! However, my anxiety builds as I approach my dreadful surgery.
My last scan gave me good results: I have successfully filled my sac with fluids. Hooray!
Now I can't say my experience went well. The stupid place I went to charged me the $50 copay because "they are a specialist" and I argued with them that I am not "high-risk" who said that? Anyways, this place told the insurance that I am high risk, and so the insurance was freaking out and thought that I was seeing them because I was high risk. No, my doctor sent me there because she doesn't have a sonographer on Thursday or Friday. Ugh. Well, I wound up paying the $50 (but rest assured I will call them back since the insurance woman claims I should get my money back if I'm not high-risk... How do you think that will pan out?) and did this long ass sonogram. Meanwhile, my doctor just ordered a short fluid check. See how these doctors like to scam people? And they claim it is the insurance companies. No. It is the greedy doctors. This jerk took advantage of a situation and extended what was supposed to be a 15 minute sonogram into a 40 minute plus sonogram. I pay $50 for nothing. Well, I will call my insurance and describe my displeasure and then ask "and who is supposed to give me my money back?" And what will she say? No one.
In any case, I have regained fluids, even though the retard I saw at the scam place claims I can't possibly regain fluids that fast just by resting and drinking water; it had to be because the people at my doctors office don't know how to read sonograms. Right. Well, at work, I was very "leaky" and I would soak through my pads. Since I have been off work, I have barely wet my pad. Explain that Guido! (That doctor is Italian) This is why I don't want to go to "man" doctors for "woman-y" things: they are scientific, but there are things that women know because they know them. Not everything in life has a scientific explanation or rationale. There are things that work for whatever the reason. I know he thinks he is all that but I don't see why this can't be a possibility. So he said I could go back to work, and I said I was leaky at work, and he kind of scoffed. Humph. Well, I'm glad he ain't delivering my kid. TJ wanted me to walk out of there when we walked in, but I really wanted them to see fluids. I should have listened to him... again. Ugh! Well anyways, I called my doctor the next day and she said I could go back to work but I have to be careful, so I said "I don't want to risk it again, let me start FMLA now" and she agreed.
So I am off for three months. I hope that will be enough time to heal from my shitty surgery. I will be in major pain because after the morphine (or whatever good stuff they give me) wears off or prescription I finish, I will not be taking any advil or tylenol. I stopped taking those things because I am sure I have already damaged my liver and kidneys and I need to save what is left. I will just have to watch movies like "Gladiator" to inspire me to work through the pain. I have had oral surgery to remove some impacted wisdom teeth many moons ago and that shit was painful. I think I was taking advil for three months. I thought I was getting addicted to advil, but eventually the pain subsided. What is funny is that I was supposed to get antibiotics, but I never filled the prescription. Whoops. Luckily, I didn't get an infection, but I will definitely take antibiotics this time. The last thing I need is a huge infection in my abdomen.
So this is going to be tough as hell. I am still enrolled in that pathophysiology class, which starts on May 29 or something. I am keen on the drop date, which I may be utilizing given all my issues at this time. I have no idea how any of this will turn out so all I can do is hope for the best. Hope for a smooth surgery, hope for little pain, hope for quick healing, and hope for a well-behaved baby. Oh yeah, and I have the "concurrent program info session" the day before my surgery. Great! I was hoping to have been able to go to the one in April, but my supervisor was like "oh no! we have so many people off!" so I just said "okay I won't go." Well, hopefully, it will take my mind off of what I will have to be doing the next day. Of course, it culd also just cause me more anxiety.
Today I am "resting" and such. I really do hate sitting around though. I want to shop for baby stuff but I did that last wek and almost dropped. I can't do a shopping stint for two hours. I might be able to go in one hour chunks. I do need to get a few things but I will have to see. I wanted to use the Jazzy at Walmart the last time I was there, but all the obese people were using them up. Thanks! Maybe next time I can use it, otherwise, I can't stay long at all.
Now I have to go and eat. I am pretty hungry. Or is the baby hungry? (oh excuse me, I mean the "fetus") Well, in either case, my stomach is on fire!
My Dreams Of Having A Romantic Home Birth On The Kitchen Floor Have Been Dashed
So a seemingly uneventful pregnancy leads to an event or two: my baby is frank breech and I am getting a c-section.
Now, I cried at first, because we all know how un-afraid I am of surgeries. Then I just accepted it. I am not about to have a "homebirth" with a breech baby. The kid is also measuring kind of large. Therefore no kiddie pool in the kitchen birth for me! I am too scared it will get stuck or something and I will then have to get all kinds of interventions that will leave me traumatized. I am not saying that I ever wanted a home birth, in case you don't understand sarcasm.
I am starting to have some problems. Or perhaps one more: low amniotic fluid. I went in for a sonogram two weeks ago. That's when they said the baby is still breech, schedule the c-section, and your fluid is kind of low. Okay. This week, my fluid is even lower and my doctor is hooking me up to this monitor that sees how stressed out the baby is. Well, the baby is comfy, but my fluid is getting to the point where she would have to come out earlier if I don't get that sac bouncing. So now I am concerned. It is bad enough she is scheduled to come out five days earlier. Now she may have to come out when things still aren't developed yet. Not cool. My doctor asks what I have been doing etc., and I tell her nothing new. I told everyone there that my job requires a LOT of walking and no one believed me! Now they see. So she ordered me off work this week (Wednesday) and to drink a LOT of water and see if that raises it up. I scheduled another ultrasound for Friday to see how I do. My doctor says if I can get it up, I can go back to work (oh goody, pffft); if it's the same, we'll see; if it is lower, we have a problem and that may include an early carving of my belly.
So I am not looking forward to hearing bad news. However, the worst part was calling in the office and "explaining" what is going on. I reluctantly called in, knowing one of the supervisors who I think is working me to death on purpose, will answer the phone. You know, she "acts" nice, but I just get a vibe from her that makes me mistrust her. Of course she does all kinds of subtle things to me that are offensive, but this is a job, so I deal with it. However, there is a limit. I knew she was going to ask me what is the matter, so I made sure I had an answer. I called and told her that my doctor ordered me to rest this week and that I cannot come in tomorrow. I also said that I am going to see my doctor again on Friday and she will update me on the issue I am having and that may mean I have to take my leave early.
What do you think the first thing she asked was? "What is the matter?" of course!
Normally, I don't mind telling people details about things. But something about this woman just irks me. Let's just say her name is "Wanda." Now "Wanda" likes to constantly tell the patients I am with that I am pregnant, and that "you can't even tell!" or that I am pregnant with "baby Wanda." After hearing this 10000000000x, you just get tired of it. Well, I wish that was the only thing to worry about. Another thing she likes to do is "hog" me. Now I have heard she likes to hog the aides, so I am glad she doesn't just do this to me. However, she likes to do things backwards: she wants me to call her and see what she is doing when I am "free" just so I can basically follow her around and do nothing anyways. So instead of getting walkers and putting in orders while waiting for the therapists to call me for assistance (as I was told to do by those I was hired by), she would rather I just follow her around from room to room, standing there, ignoring calls from other therapists (cuz I'm busy now!), and then listening to her complain about everything while we walk over to the next room. This can go on for hours! When I am with her, I get dizzy. Sometimes, I feel like I will drop. Besides her constant complaining about EVERYTHING (nurses don't this, why does this hospital do that, omg I can't handle poop, and that patient is just blah blah blah...), she also likes to SIT DOWN in front of me. Then, realizes she shouldn't be sitting because a)she is on a patient bed, b)she should have offered me the seat since I am quite "great with child," or c)it's just bad etiquette. Then she will apologize for sitting in front of me, but doesn't really offer me the seat. You know the type: "Oh boy, I should have let Jane sit (as she is talking to the patient), she is pregnant. Sorry Jane, do you want to sit here?" and of course, I say "no" because we are not supposed to sit while working. Or are we? Well, "Wanda" certainly doesn't want me to sit. It's as if I am a slave that should be constantly moving to earn my keep. Hey man, I don't see why I have to constantly be moving when everyone else gets to sit. The last time I was with her, I sat way over at the nurse's station so 1)I could sit finally and 2)I wouldn't have to hear her complaining about everything wrong with her job. For chrissakes, she has one of the best jobs at the hospital and she can find that much wrong with it? Well, then go back to that other hospital you worked at! Oh right, they displaced you. Gee I wonder why?
Now that you know "Wanda" a bit better, I dreadfully called her and told her what was up. After she asked me what was wrong I said "I don't really want to go into the details." Immediately she apologized and said she wasn't trying to ask a personal question, blah blah. Really, then what were you asking? I take it this woman needs to THINK a bit about what she is doing/saying BEFORE she does it/say it. Anyways, I refrained from cursing her to the dammit, as my mother would say, and said that I submitted my paperwork for FMLA, and that I have another visit with my doctor on Friday. I also warned "Wanda" that the doctor may say I cannot work anymore and that I may have to take my leave then, so I will call that afternoon. What do you think she asked me?
"Do you think you can come in tomorrow to go over the 90 day review, just for a half hour maybe, you won't have to see any patients. I would LOVE to go over the 90 days before you submit your paperwork."
Hello? Did I just hear this sentence?
Did I not just finish telling her I have an issue with my PREGNANCY and my doctor ORDERS me to REST and I CANNOT WORK TOMORROW and that I ALREADY submitted my FMLA forms?
AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME IN TO GO OVER SOME BULLSHIT 90 DAY REVIEW THAT I KNOW IS NOT SIGNIFICANT IN ANY WAY BECAUSE I NEVER DID ONE AS A DISHWASHER AND NOT DOING IT HAS NO CONSEQUENCE, BUT APPARENTLY IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH IN HER MIND TO OVERRIDE MEDICAL ADVICE AND PUT MY BABY AT RISK BECAUSE SHE WOULD "LOVE" TO DO IT BEFORE I SUBMIT PAPERWORK THAT I ALREADY SUBMITTED?
And this, my friends, is what I have to deal with at work. I told TJ that if I change jobs, it's not because of the job, it will be because of her! I like the job, believe it or not. It is interesting to me, it stimulates my mind, I get to see lots of interesting things, learn new things, etc., but this woman will drive me over a cliff! The only problem is that she has to do a recommendation for me if I transfer jobs. That is why I don't see myself switching jobs soon. However, I may want to go full time as a CNA, so I will see what happens. I really wanted to keep this job because of the weekend hours. I guess I will have to see if she changes her ways a bit when I return.
ANYWAY! Now that I wasted enough time on explaining "Wanda," I can get back to my real issue: Low amniotic fluid. I have been "leaky" for a while, and haven't had much issue since two weeks ago. I would assume its because the baby is "big" and I have a slave-driver supervisor who wants me to die. So I probably got a small tear in my sac from my fabulous job and now I am leaking. After the first sonogram saying I had low fluid, I began to notice than I leak a LOT more on the days that I work than on the days I don't work. Like today, for example. If this was a work day, I would have soaked through my pantyliner by now. However, I am still relatively dry. I have already drunk 100+ ounces of fluid today, and still have more to go. I am not too bored, but I would like to go outside. I was planning on going to Sears after my appointment, but I guess that ain't happening! I am hoping all this non-movement works and I can keep the baby inside a little longer. Otherwise, she will have another birthday shift.
Oh yeah. I asked the doctor who can be there. She said one person. I was hoping to have a troop of people there, but no such luck. She did say my sussection (a funny) can be recorded. Well, I hope TJ is up for that! Ha! I would love to have it recorded. I would even post that! Well, in any case, the doctor said I would be in the hospital for two to three nights (with the door locked to avoid "Wanda") and would get a spinal thingy for the surgery so I can be half awake. Not bad I guess. What I noticed is that people who don't get sussections are like "OMG A CESARIAN! NEVAAAAHHH!" and those who had a cesarian are like "Wow that was easy!" Well, I don't particularly have a choice in this case, but I am still not looking forward to having my abs cut open. I guess I will update more on that later. I am not sure if I have to register with the hospital or not at this point since the doctor is scheduling me. We shall see.
Then I got to work on the rest of my to-do list. I was able to use my Amex points to buy a crib, a crib mattress, and all kinds of cloth diapers from Amazon. I still have plenty of points left. I figure, use the points for something good instead of hoarding them. This is one of those times. I expect that I will reuse the crib for subsequent children, if any. I also bought cloth diapers from Sears and some other baby stuff from Walmart. Maybe I will post my stuff when I get everything. I am hoping that the diapers will be good. I get airline miles when I shop at Sears and Walmart, so I try to buy whatever I can thru the internet. Right now, I have enough points for one ticket. I will work on the ride back now, ha ha!
I also paid for my last prerequisite class, pathophysiology. I will start that class right after the baby is born so I am hoping I can do it. I am keen on the drop date so I will make sure to drop it if it's too difficult. I don't want to drop it because I want to apply for the fall semester of that concurrent program, but I can't neglect a child for some class. I will be on FMLA during the class, so I shouldn't be overwhelmed. However, if I have to push it back a semester so be it. It's just nursing. I've been away for ten years now, what's one more?
So all that nursing stuff went well. I was able to get my high school transcript in, and I am accepted. I have an appointment in May (?) for their "info session" about the concurrent program, so I will post about that when that happens.
I am also good to go for tuition reimbursement from SHC! I called about the class, and as long as I start the class after my 1 year mark (which will be the case) I can apply for reimbursement. So, my one year anniversary (can you believe it???) is April 22. I can submit my paperwork for FMLA and tuition reimbursement on April 23. I think I have to submit a degree plan with my manager as well. But I can also apply for reimbursement after the class is over, which may be more convenient. Luckily, I am entitled to tuition reimbursement during my FMLA. So I don't make much money, but my benefits are adding up! I get 100% coverage for the pregnancy and post natal visits, I get a 403(b), a 529, flexible spending accounts, tuition reimbursement, FMLA, and a day care center across the parking lot (which takes babies 6 weeks and up) which may prove handy come school time. I joke with TJ that if I elect day care, I will bring home no money, but I will have money paying for things. It's not bad for a part-time job........ If your not a dishwasher that is!
Anyways, I have very little to report on my pregnancy. My right foot gets a little swollen here and there. The baby moves around and pushes my liver. I have sore groin muscles. It's hard to sleep with this large mass coming out of my belly. I have to walk slower, especially on my job. That's about it. Sorry there is nothing eventful to write about. I hope it stays that way!
Today's agenda includes itemizing some donations for Goodwill on the it's deductible website, returning a couple of Coach wallets I will never use (and shouldn't have bought), and going to work. Tomorrow I will work on completing my FMLA and tuition paperwork so It will be ready to give in next Wednesday. Monday I have a doctor appointment, so I will be able to fill out the medical forms for me and TJ's FMLA stuff. I don't think TJ will take FMLA, but just in case he has to, the paperwork will be ready. I plan to take FMLA starting May 12. I asked about how it works, and i was told to apply for the full 12 weeks, and then if I feel like I can, I can come back earlier. I discussed this a bit with the supervisor so it seems like a good plan. I plan to only use 2 months in case I need FMLA for something else. However, in this day and age of c-sections, I will need the full 12 if "they" con me into a c-section for some reason. Hopefully, it will be an uneventful birth and I can come back when the class is done.
So now I am off to eat breakfast and itemize some stuff. Before I go, I wanted to share a webpage link to Mometrix's "bonus material" for the HESI A2. I didn't use the "secrets" book, I used some other kind. I think it was just a book of practice exams. I think the secrets book is okay, but the pure practice test book is better. There is a link to order a practice tests book on this bonus page. I don't know if it is the one I used, but the practice tests are pretty good. They are not like the HESI (the tests are harder), but they will prepare you enough to know what you should brush up on. The grammar comes with explanations, which I thought was helpful.
Well yesterday my feet swelled a bit. Now they are okay. I also have some freckling in my face. Other than that, not much else to update on. I am quite heavy, about 162, but I think these last seven pounds is water gain. But that is all I got.
Things have been rolling otherwise. I am starting to chip away at all of my "to-do's" left from many moons ago. I am also enrolled in that pathphysiology class and that bill is due soon. I also have to get my FMLA forms in order for both me and TJ and do a bunch of other stuff. I also have to buy stuff. I still haven't bought a crib or diapers, but those should be easy enough. I also have a PPD due for work. I think I will do that tomorrow. And TJ has to renew his passport. These are all easy things, but there is so much backlog that these little things will take a while to finish.
I also have to submit a plan of education to my manager so I can get tuition reimbursement. I wonder if they will be mad when they find out I don't want to go into physical therapy. Well, I guess I could change jobs, but I like this one and would rather keep it.
There isn't much else to update. I guess I could post a picture of myself showing off my fat stomach but I think I'll pass.
So my application submission went well! There were two (non-Asians) ahead of me, but neither were there for the nursing application. I got in right away, and although I worked with a different adviser this time, she was very nice and accepted my application! So I have to say, so far, this place is waaaaay better than Kingsborough. Well, being accredited certainly helps! Ha Ha!
Anyways, the adviser went through all of my stuff and made copies of this and that. She pushed my application through even though she said I do need to submit an official copy of my high school transcript. I was worried because I thought Dewey went out of business or something, or at least it wasn't functional since catching fire when Sandy hit. She said if they don't have your transcript, try the Board of Education. Well, I called the school, left a message, and they actually called me back! They sent my transcript and the only thing left is to call Gateway and see if they got it. I gave them a copy of my transcript to put with the application, but now they have an "official" one, which is the same copy with a stamp saying "official copy" rubber stamped on it. Mine says "student copy" rubber stamped on it. Oh well. Anyways, she put in my application, and the next day, I got an email allowing me to log into "the system" to update my choices. I am due for the "randomized stamp" on the 11th or so.
So now, if I don't get into the concurrent program, I can wait two years or more to get in. However, I think I can get into the concurrent program. I am aiming for Fall, but I think those chances are extremely slim. I wanted to go to the info session on Wednesday, but I couldn't take off work because someone had called out. So I have an appointment for an info session in MAY at Scottsdale. I guess that is okay since SCC is one of my choices. I am only looking at schools that partner with NAU (Northern Arizona University) since they have a practitioner program there that isn't that DNP thing. I start my last prerequisite for the concurrent program in May, a few days after the baby is due. Well, I hope it turns out well. I do have some time to drop since the drop date is June 3. That should give me enough time to see if it is doable. If I can't, I will have to wait longer to start the concurrent program.
Orrrrr, I could take a risk and apply for that master program at UA.... I am not as eager to do that program because of the cost, the time commitment, but most importantly, the classes don't seem to jibe with a smooth transfer to NAU's practitioner program. I think I would have to take extra classes and whatnot, which would pretty much equal me starting from scratch as a master student. What is the advantage? Any time that I gained taking the faster master program is negated by the extra classes I need to complete the FNP. And then Im also in the hole $40k. Not so appealing. Unless you want to be a nurse boss. Which I don't.
Since I basically have nothing left to do with my life, I think going in the concurrent direction is the best plan of action. If I have to wait out the two years that would be okay. I can raise my child and have another one in the meantime. I could do the same if I got into the concurrent program, but I won't be as annoyed or hurt or anything. I am mostly doing this so TJ can go to school finally. I know he wants to and I know he wants to see if he can have a better job. I think he should be a teacher, but he might actually make more at Fedex! Of course, doing something you like for less pay isn't too horrible.
Then there is the Occupation Therapist (OT) option. I do have the prerequisites for it. I am not sure I want to do that though. It's not terrible, but I think I'd be happier doing something else. But we shall see. There are some options open for me as of now. I don't think I am going to do the MBA after all. I guess I should have done it right when I left Fedex but now that it has been so long, I would need to get a logistics job and then apply. I just don't have any relevant experience as of recently. I think my scores expire in two years. I don't think that is enough time. Well, I guess Im not sad about that either.
In other stories, I did my taxes and found out that because I work a shitty job, the Feds want to take a what seems larger than normal share of taxes. Our tax bill was over $1000. And it's because I work now. So TJ Changed his withholdings and hopefully that will help. I also have a crappy 403(b) from work, so I am contributing to that at a higher rate for now so I will lower my gross pay. Of course, I would like to have my returns go as close to "zero" as possible, but I don't think that will happen next year because of the the kid and withholdings and all that. I didn't finish my state taxes, but I will do that today. I get a refund from them so whatever.
Other that that, everything else is normal. I am feeling this baby non-stop. She likes to kick me quite often. I don't have any stretch marks, yet. I eat regularly. No swelling. No nothing really. I guess it's a good thing to have not much to say. However, I must stand up since she is beating me up as I type. Maybe I'll eat something. I'll write more later!
Today I am going to attempt to give in my application. I will have to get there before they open so I can be first, or one of the first on line since it is a "walk-in" day. Hopefully, there will not be a bunch of other ambitious women there doing the same exact thing. I am usually first, and I have noticed the only other "group" of people that directly challenge my early rising ability are Asians and Russians (which I guess, are technically Asians). And since I live in Arizona, the number of those groups is not as high as in Brooklyn. It's also good that it is kind of the middle of the semester. That way, there aren't going to be a whole bunch of people fighting to get their applications in because they finally finished the prerequisites. However, I am prepared to stay there all day if I have to. I must have the stamp! Then I can finally move on and relax. Or at least, do my taxes. I have been putting that off because of all of this.
So that is my day! Hopefully not all of my day, but I am ready if that is going to happen. I will bring some bars with me in case I am waiting and waiting but don't want to give up my spot to get food. HA HA!
So I went and took that HESI A2 yesterday and I did well!
Well, of course! Were you expecting any different? I just wish I scored like this on the MCAT!
Overall, I scored 96%. Percentage-wise, I did better on this exam than the PAX-RN I took in 2003. Of course, I didn't know I was supposed to take that exam either. Anyways, percentile-wise, I think I did better on the PAX-RN, scoring 99%-ile overall. The HESI doesn't give a percentile, but it seemed easier. Anyway, this school doesn't require the science portions, so I can't really compare the tests.
As far as the review books are concerned, the Elsevier book is the best way to go. The vocabulary words are good, as they test quite a few of those, but not all. But as I thought, almost ALL of the vocabulary is medically related somehow. So you don't have to know words like "concupiscence," but rather words along the "corpuscle" and "empathetic" lines. The math portion is spot-on, although I didn't get any Roman numerals or temperature conversions. I did get a LOT of ratios and convert this fraction to either lowest terms or decimals. Some math questions had errors, so perhaps that is why I scored a 98%. The reading part is good too, but the book talks about summarizing, when the test says "conclusions." I dunno what that is, but I did not do well on "conclusions"! I thought the questions in the reading were stupid, and some had errors or were just not a good question. There was one question with a GRAMMAR ERROR in it! HA! Anyways, I think the book is good for that too. The grammar in the book is good, but if you want to get in the 90s, you will need that "Nitty Gritty" book. I couldn't have done it without it! AND I suggest you also go over the grammar and vocab sections of the MOMETRIX review. I know there is ONE copy at Gateway library, so good luck finding it; it took me prob 30 minutes to find it. I don't even know where it was because that library is not a DEWEY library. I do know it was in one of the back rows of books on a top shelf. When I found it, it was out of place. It's a skinny white book, very easy to miss, as there is no writing on the spine. The MOMETRIX review is a lot harder than the HESI, but the grammar review is great. Also, the GRAMMAR GIRL book with the misused words is kinda helpful, but see if you can take that out of a library instead of buying it.
So now I am free! All I have to do now is fill out my application and get that "stamp." I will do that next week, Monday probably. I am signed up for my last class, and I hope I can get into the concurrent program quick with my scores. If not, oh well. I tried! Anyways, Today I have to return all my books for the next poor soul who is studying for this dumb test. Good luck to you!
Other than that, I am going to see if the Coach store has some "baby bags" that don't look like crap.
So I finished the two books and I failed the grammar quiz with an 82.5%. However, when the other English scores are averaged, the total is a 93%, so I pass. My math score was a 92.5%, also a pass.
So here are the differences between the 2nd and 3rd editions:
The math section has new review for algebra. The questions in the back of the chapter reflect this. Some questions are "fill in the blank" and I assume the HESI also will have fill in the blank style questions. Each section in the math chapter has questions, and almost all of these are exactly the same. So basically, the math section is the same. Just add algebra. In both editions, they ask how to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, and both editions DO NOT give the conversion formula. HELLO! So here it is: F = 1.8(C)+32. Sheesh. The 2nd edition does not list the conversion for kilograms to pounds in the tables at the end of the chapter, so here it is 1kg = 2.2lbs. I would say that the most important things to know are Fahrenheit to Celsius, kilograms to pounds, inches to centimeters, ounces to milliliters, and those crazy roman numerals. Also, that 4 quarts is a gallon. And if you can't remember the temperature conversion, AT LEAST remember that body temp in Celsius is 37 degrees. The 3rd edition goes into better detail about temperatures in the chemistry section, but still seems to ask the conversion questions in the MATH section. It also doesn't give the conversion formula. I am annoyed by this because there is a question on the quiz that specifically asks to convert the temperature... And its fill in the blank style so you can't even guess! STUUUPID! I will say that a previous Ukrainian friend of mine told me how to approximate: double the Celsius temperature and add 30. Personally, I prefer to add 25, especially when working with larger numbers. So maybe remember that if anything. However, if it is fill in the blank, you're still screwed. Also, for those fill in the blank questions, some say to round if necessary. Well, watch what they want you to round it to. Is it tenths? Hundredths? Whole number? Also if they ask about money, round it to the cents. There is a question that asks what will his pay be and I just out down what I calculated. Wrong! According to the book, they want it rounded to the cents. So just be careful.
Reading comprehension is the same. The questions are the same.
Vocabulary in 3rd edition is updated! The Vocabulary section in the 2nd edition asked question for word and abbreviations not covered in the book. The 3rd edition has 24 new words, which were basically the words in the 2nd edition on the quiz that was asked but not covered. Both editions still asked stuff not covered like "tertiary healthcare" and "Q.I.D" and one of the editions wants you to know the difference between "breach" and "breech" but doesn't go over it. "Breech" means "behind," such as a "breech baby" who will come out butt (behind) first if delivered normally. "Breach" means to break or violate something like an agreement. or some abbreviations, check out this link or this one if you are really ambitious.
The grammar section is the same, but the questions in the 3rd edition are now separated from the vocabulary test. The questions in the 3rd edition are much harder, although there are fewer questions on the review test. I think the book by itself does a below average job explaining what you need to know in detail. This section is where you will definitely need extra books or just study the grammar book by itself. The book I suggested, "Nitty Gritty," is a good book to study with because it gives some colorful examples of the rules and parts of speech and sentences.
Biology is pretty much the same. The new edition has color pictures with good detail on DNA and reproduction of cells. There are more questions in the new edition. There is also a separate biology test at the end of the book
The chemistry section is updated in the new edition, but still doesn't give the temperature conversion. It does go into scientific notation and more about the metric system and temperatures. It also adds a little bit of biochemistry, getting into the basics of carbohydrates, lipids, proteins, and nucleic acids. There is a separate chemistry test at the end of the book.
The anatomy and physiology are pretty much the same. The new edition has more pictures of the systems,and they are in color. However, the older edition has a page full of anatomy terminology that I think is helpful. The 3rd edition does not have this and the words on this list are not in the updated vocabulary section. I think they should have kept this list. Oh well. There is also a separate anatomy and physiology test in the new edition.
Physics is the same except the 3rd edition adds a couple paragraphs on magnetism and a nice picture on generating electricity using electromagnetic fields. I guess they add this for people who are going into x-ray tech school or something, or just to know how x-rays work. Both editions do not have a separate quiz, but they offer sample questions for each topic and a separate test at the end of the book. The long test is pretty much the same.
The new edition also has a glossary at the end of the book, the 2nd edition does not. However, this glossary does not include the bonus vocabulary in the anatomy section. I think the glossary is useful.
So those are the two books! I say get hem from the library if you can because they are expensive. However, if I had to pick one, get the new edition. I won't rate the books until I take the test tomorrow, so that way I can tell if they actually helped me.
Right now, I am going to go over the last of my questions from a different book that I found in the Gateway library. I copied the questions for vocabulary and grammar review and I can do them before noon probably. Then, hopefully, TJ will be home and we can go shopping!!
So today, even though I would like to go shopping, I will do my last test in the HESI Books for grammar. I went over and made notes for the rules I need to remember. I used a few books to help, since the HESI book doesn't describe or give examples for everything (also see the Goodreads side bar):
Tomorrow, when I am done with these two HESI books, I will post the differences in the two editions. There isn't much difference, so prepare to be underwhelmed. After I take the exam (and get a score) I will post my ratings of the books. At this point, I don't know how effective they are as study tools so we shall see. I will take the test Wednesday so wish me luck!
In sad news, my ol' TI-82 has cleared its memory for some reason! It turns 18 this year, and I was changing out the batteries and when I turned it on, poof! the dreaded "MEM CLEARED" appeared on the screen! I have had those old programs on that thing since 1996. Sigh. Oh well. I guess I never really used the math programs, but I had made my own programs for chemistry in 1999. Those are gone too. I guess I won't need those either since I finally got my A in chemistry. Well, I guess that now that my calculator is an adult, it should be able to do what it wants to. Maybe it will register to vote.
Anyways, the fetus is beating me up so it must be hungry. I will eat breakfast then get to that last test. I have more review materials, but I want to finish these two books since the writers are the test makers. If I am not in too much pain (my legs hurt), I will think about going to buy some shoes for work or shirts.
Oh yeah, I already registered for the "pathophysiology" class. This will be my first class, online or not, with a baby. Luckily, I will start and end when I am on leave so I hope it goes well. I am excited to take it because it sounds interesting. However, I am suspicious of anything "nursing" so I am keen on that drop date. I don't want to drop it this summer because I want to be able to apply to that concurrent program, but I guess that doesn't matter if the class sucks ass. Hopefully it won'r suck ass!
Well I got up with TJ as usual, and I was looking at my stuff as usual, when this urge to sleep befell me. I just could not keep my head up, so I went to the bed to nap and well, I am not even sure if it has been two, three, or four hours! Well, That is okay I guess since I don't have weekends anymore, I can't catch up on my sleep. I have to sleep when I feel I need it. And I guess I needed it now.
Yesterday, I didn't do much in the way of the English grammar review; it took much longer than I thought to buy some groceries. Then I decided to make a lasagna so I could use up some of my spinach. It turned out pretty yummy, and I used my new pan! Anyways, today I have all day to go over the stuff so I will do that. I still plan on taking the test next week.
The baby is doing okay so far. It's been kicking here and there and moving around still. Not much to report other than it feels like its been trying to scratch its way out.
Well what do you know? The credits transferred! My biology became biology, my English 17 became English II, and my microbiology became microbiology! Whoo hoo! I have been having fantastic luck at this school so I hope it keeps going. Now the only thing left to do is take that test and I can do my application. I will take that test next week, maybe Wednesday. Today and tomorrow I will go over the grammar stuff, and then continue it on Monday and Tuesday. I should be good for Wednesday. Luckily, you can take the test on a walk-in basis, so I can just take it when I am ready. I would assume I am ready now, but I want to score as high as possible so I can have a better chance at getting in that concurrent program faster.
Speaking of which, there is one more class I have to take before I can apply for the concurrent program: pathophysiology. I wanted to take it THIS semester, and I even enrolled in it, but the ding-dong at the enrollment desk didn't tell me that the bill was due that day. HELLO! I thought I had a couple weeks to pay and the next thing I know, I am dropped! Now I have to take the class in the summer, which I would rather not do because I don't want to cram that knowledge in half the time. But I will take it because I will have a slight chance to get it done before the deadline to the concurrent program for the fall. Plus I will be on FMLA pretty much the whole time, so at least I won't have to juggle work, school, and a BABY. Just school and a baby. Thank God I have TJ! He is my rock. And he's cute to boot!
So today's agenda is buying some Tofurky and "cheese" for TJ, liver for me (eeew, but I need the b12!), ice (we are desparately out), and, I think that's it for now. Then I will get cracking with the grammar and laundry. I think I will make a huge pot of rice to last today and tomorrow, hopefully. TJ is like me and eats quite a bit of rice when available. I think I will make some sort of bean dish for dinner. I am trying to go through all my food before I go on a shopping event. I have plenty of beans and other proteins to make up before I go out and restock my cupboards and freezer. My freezer is almost bare! Hooray! I have a bunch of spinach I need to do something with. I was thinking some kind of croissants stuffed with cream cheese spinach stuff. Or not. I dunno yet. But I better get going!
Okay so here are the results: 100% in reading comprehension, 96.7% in vocabulary, and 92.5% in math. I am annoyed about the math because I made dumb mistakes, as usual. I must not be careless when lining things up and such. I did not finish the grammar because I need to look over the rules. Once I do that, I will take the last practice test. When I finish that, I will write about the differences of the two book, which is not much.
Yesterday I called the school to see if my credits were evaluated. They were! Bad news was that not everything was transferred correctly. So now I have to go to the office and show them course descriptions so I can get the appropriate credits. The ones they screwed up were: Eng 2 (they said it s a repeat of English 1), biology (they gave me blanket credit and I am not sure that will count, but I am not sure I need it either), and microbiology (they gave me blanket credit for that as well, but it should be counted as microbiology). I had spent all morning looking up old course bulletins, and I found most of them. I have a feeling I will be met with resistance, but I am hoping that it goes well today and they change my credits to the right ones.
I will be having one busy morning! Not looking forward to it, but if I can get the credits, I am good to go. If I don't, I will have to conjure up a new scheme of plans. I am not looking forward to that even more!
Well, I know I said I'd be back in a few hours... I am back but just a few more hours past than I said I would probably be back. In any case, I took the practice tests in the back of the book and got 90 in the sections. That's pretty bad considering. So I was determined to NOT fall asleep during the math section and get faster at the problems. My reading comprehension is fine, but I must work on the grammar stuff. I got a new book (3rd edition) and it seems that the practice problems in the chapters are the same as the old book (2nd edition), however, I haven't looked at the practice exams because I am saving those for when I finish these problems. I started working on the math stuff a few days ago, but then I had to go to work. So now I have time off again, I will pick up where I left off and finish up the sections. Then I will take the (hopefully) new practice exams and see how that goes. I am aiming for 95+ in all categories.
In other news, the baby is moving around, as usual. Not much to report than the kicking is getting stronger and it likes to swim. It likes corn too. But so do I, so not sure who is benefiting more from eating corn.
I am also hungry but I don't know what to eat. I know, my life is rough.
Well I can't say I am feeling super! All day this fetus has been beating the crap out of me. Twisting, turning, kicking, and who knows what else. It's very uncomfortable, especially when it leans against my belly. The skin from my navel is exposed now (although I don't have an "outie") and it is very sensitive when I touch it or even look at it. But when it gets rubbed from inside, it feels so weird and uncomfortable. It's annoying enough that I kind of don't want to study anything or go anywhere, but I am trying my hardest to get through some grammar.
Anyways, I am going to do all the questions in this HESI book and see how I do. Apparently, you get a pop up calculator to use on the math part of the exam, so I will use that to check my work. I have four hours to do the TWO sections, but I will just do all the questions and see how I do. I am sure it's a bit easier than the MCAT!
Other than that, check out my new visitor map on the sidebar. I get "visitors" from countries like Hungary, so I thought I would put the globe up to see if the Blog stats are accurate or the stats are just some spam robot. I think it's a spam robot, but I am a pessimist when it comes to location stats.
So I figured that before I go to work, I will finish going through the last two chapters in that HESI book I need for the exam. Today's topics are Vocabulary and Grammar.
There isn't much to the vocab section; it's basically "memorize these words for the exam." The words on the list are basically nurse words such as abstain, bilateral, contour, defecate, exogenous, flushed, gender, hygiene, insidious, labile, manifestation, nutrient, oral, paroxysmal, rationale (ha ha), symptom, untoward, and void. The list isn't even that much longer than what I wrote here. I think I can type up the list and post it on the sidebar if anyone wants it. If you look up each word on your own, you will have the idea of the word. Most of these I know already and a few I confused with something else. This book gives an example of each word in a sentence as well. I guess that is good for people who can't understand what the dictionary means when they say noun or verb.
Which leads to the next section: Grammar. Here is the section I need to work through slowly. I DO NOT KNOW parts of speech. I just know English well. I scored perfect on my GMAT writing, so that is enough proof there. Apparently, I know how words work and where they go, but don't ask me to NAME the types of words or the slots they go into. HA!
Okay so the grammar section has:
The eight parts of speech (you got me there): Nouns, pronouns, adjectives, verbs, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, and interjections.
Nine terms of grammar that I don't know: a clause, a direct object, and indirect object, a phrase, a predicate, a predicate adjective (huh?), a predicate nominative (what?), a sentence (okay I recognize that one), and a subject.
The top ten grammatical mistakes: subject-verb agreement (I think I've seen this once or twice on MS Word grammar check), comma usage in a compound sentence (very popular mistake on internet forums), run-on sentences (also very popular on the internet), pronoun case, comma use in a series, "unclear or vague pronoun reference" (check out the practice here), sentence fragment, misplaced modifier (definitely seen that many times on MS Word), pronouns that indicate possession (I, my, mine; We, our, ours; It, its, its), and ending a sentence with a preposition (this is pretty much how everyone talks).
Four suggestions for success (how to not be annoying: no cliches, euphemisms, sexist language, profanity, and insensitive language, the last one meaning try to be politically correct.)
Fifteen troublesome word pairs (such as effect vs. affect; good vs. well, farther vs. further, fewer vs. less, who vs. whom, etc)
I can see that I will be spending most of my time in the grammar section! Lucky me, I had already studied most of the "troublesome word pairs" for the GMAT, so I think I can handle that one. This chapter has boxes containing words to know, such as "commonly used prepositions" and "possessive personal pronouns." I may have to make flash cards, as I am clueless for all this. Now the sample questions don't ask specifically "what is the interjection of the following sentence?" so I am not sure how much to study these terms. However, since I have time before they finish evaluating my transcripts, it may be worth it to go over these terms and know them well anyways. Here is a nice set of questions, but I don't know if the answers are provided. After I complete the sample questions and the practice exam in the book, I will do that test.
I would also like to take the practice exam for the biology, anatomy, physiology, chemistry, and physics sections, just to see how I do. I'm curious to see what I remember. When I took the pre-NLN, I remember thinking "why do they ask these questions when we are not even required to study it?" I was talking about the physics section mostly. The test asked questions on circuits and voltage, and for KCC, you don't have to take physics to get in. All you have to take is "Science 25" which is some watered down version of physics and chemistry put together. I used to just put my headphones in one ear and cover it with my hair so the teacher wouldn't see. I never listened to the lecture. Why? I already took advanced physics and general chemistry so this class was just something I had to do. I don't think I scored less than a 98 on all of my tests in that class. It was a similar case for "statistics" class. I think my lowest mark in that class was a 98. But I had to take it since all my other math classes didn't count because they were not statistics. In that class, we were allowed to write the formulas on a sheet, so why anyone failed is beyond me.
Anyways, I am going write down my words and take the sample test. Then I can gauge how much I "need to study" grammar. I also need to eat breakfast! I am very hungry. I will do that and get back to this blog in a bit.
No, I did not spend all day on HESI stuff. What I did do was use up all my perishable goods in the fridge to make salsa, sambar, and cookies. I also sliced the pickles finally. I also threw away some old crap that I totally am not going to eat now. It feels good to get through some stuff so you don't have to throw it out.
Anyways, I am working on the English section now: Reading. In this section, you read some boring paragraphs and they ask you questions about the boring paragraphs you just read. They ask:
What is the main idea, stated in the boring paragraph and implied.
Identify the supporting details (a description, background, or examples).
What is the meaning of this word in this context.
What is the writer's purpose and what is the writer's tone (informative, entertainment, persuasion).
Know the difference between fact and fiction (Opinion = cannot be proven; uses words that are subjective like "He is cute" or "That was great").
Summarize the boring paragraphs. (The book says that this takes the most time because you actually have to read through each answer to find the correct one. The correct answer will have the main idea, be in the correct order, and not have any information not presented in the paragraphs. It says that if you follow these rules, you will eliminate wrong answers.)
Well that is all great to know! Now it's snack time.
Well, I reordered a transcript from St. John's and just put the simplified address. Lo and behold, it arrives today! Well, the adviser said it would take 4-6 weeks to evaluate my transcripts... I hope not! Well, I guess if it does, what can I do? I called the "enrollment office" and they have already "evaluated" my two Zonie transcripts, so that's a good start! I just hope they get the steppin' on the rest.
So today I was getting beat up by my own fetus, as usual. I wonder if her legs have straightened out yet, or actually, folded up. I feel this child gets heavier by the day, sometimes by the minute. I am approaching 29 weeks, so she better be gaining weight. I have a bad leg cramp today, probably from all that crazy walking I did this weekend at my job. Today I have off, so it is nice to relax. I am very glad I am not dish washing right now, as this new job is almost my limit with 20 hours a week. I hope I can make it to the FMLA date! That will be in late April. I am seriously considering just staying here to have the baby. I am just not sure I can handle that journey to NY.
I went over some of the HESI stuff, but just a skim. I spent most of the day eating and playing games on Facebook. I think I will be okay with the math portion. Here is the math rundown according to the book I have:
Basic addition and subtraction with and without regrouping (365+236 or 123-56)
Basic multiplication and division of whole numbers (45x12 and 65/4)
Addition and subtraction of decimals (123.56+0.254 or 51.26-12.36)
Multiplication and division of decimals (3.75x1.56 or 41.2/2.22)
Everything with fractions:
reducing fractions to lowest form (6/12 -> 1/2); finding the lowest common denominator (LCD)(LCD of 1/3 and 3/5 is 15); Changing improper fractions to a mixed number (27/5 ->5 and 2/5) and vice versa (5 and 2/5 -> 27/5); Addition and subtraction of fractions with common and different denominators (2/9+3/9 and 1/4+2/3 or 5/8 - 1/8 and 3/5-1/2); Adding and subtracting mixed numbers (1 1/2 + 2 2/3 or 4 3/5 - 1 4/9); Multiplication and division of fractions (1/5x2/3 or 3/5 / 5/9); Changing fractions to decimals (3/4 -> 0.75) and vice versa (0.75 -> 3/4)
Ratio and proportion:
Change decimal to a ratio (0.050 -> 50/1000 -> 1/20 -> 1:20); Change fraction to a ratio (3/25 -> 3:25); Solve the proportion (3:x::10:60 so x=?)
Change decimal to a percent (0.20 -> 20%); Change percent to decimal (22% -> 0.22); Change fraction to a percent (2/5 -> 0.4 -> 40%); Finding the percent as a word problem ("What is 2 out of 5 expressed as a percent?" or "What is 22% of 123?" or "15 is 20% of what number?")
Converting civilian time to military time (6:33 am -> 0633) and vice versa (2114 -> 9:14pm)
Temperature conversion (0 degrees Celcius = 32 degrees Farenheit; 100 Celcius is 212 Farenheit)
Length conversion metric and Imperial (1km = 1000m or 1 mile = 5280 feet)
Volume conversion metric and Imperial (1L = 1000mL or 1 cup = 8 ounces and especially 1 oz = 30mL)
Weight and mass conversion metric and Imperial (1kg = 1000g or 1 pound = 16 ounces)
And that is the math portion of the HESI!
Not much to go over for me, but I guess some people will find this part hard. If you can't find a HESI book for the math, you can also take out a GRE or GMAT book, it covers the same basic math. I'll go over the English part tomorrow, then do all the review questions in the book and see how I do.
HA! I actually put away ALL the Christmas stuff! And cleaned out the closet! WOW! Maybe I should eat more Whoppers?
In other "good" news, my reserve book on the HESI exam is available at the library! I am going to go and get it today and start looking at all the subjects. I made copies of some questions from a book from the Gateway library, but only for grammar and spelling. I think it would benefit me to look at what is tested for the other subjects too. Now for the nursing program out here, you only need to take math and reading, not all the subjects like I had to for Kingsborough. By the way, did they get their accreditation back? HAHAHA! Don't hold your breath!
Other than that today, I just plan on resting. My back is a little sore from moving the tree and organizing all that stuff. I have two full days of work to follow, so I would like some rest. Right now I am a bit sleepy so maybe I will take a nap then go to the library. It's still early here, about 0600. I don't think the library opens until 0800 anyways.
So no, I did not start the HESI stuff. I basically did some shopping yesterday. I had to buy ink and crickets and other things like that. Today I emailed the school to find out how to get my transcripts evaluated. I think they should all be there by now. In any case, I would like them to start that so I can finish this application soon.
I am almost done with my room! I figured I could finish that today finally. I shredded so much paper from so long ago. Like Old insurance policies from cars I don't have anymore! Sheesh. I just have a few things left to find homes for. I also have stuff I need to send off to my mother. If I can get this room done, I can finally get moving on studying. I just can't "study" if my room is a disaster.
Not much else besides that. My job is okay too. I walk around a lot, so I get tired, but I am not mentally drained like I was being a dishwasher robot. This job is infinitely better. I am also still on the fence about having the kid here or in NY. I was thinking maybe I could just travel to NY after it is born? I dunno. Saving thousands is something to really consider!
I tried to accomplish a lot today. I almost (key almost) finished cleaning my desk and room (yes it is that cluttered), I managed to shop for some necessities, I bought a respirator so I can work with the spray glue and or paint, I called to get a pickup of my old stove, and finally took down the Christmas stuff OUTSIDE. Now I just took it down. I didn't put everything away. The tree is still up. Yes. It is still up.
Tomorrow I start on the third trimester! Yippee?? I dunno. All I know is that I am quickly getting too fat for my "fat clothes." I am not sure if I have to buy maternity clothes at this point or just keep getting fatter sizes. The problem is that the fat sizes have fatter legs too... so it fits my stomach but the legs are all loose. Ugh! I dunno. I wish I could just wear leggings to work!
I was looking at my feet today and, well my skinny days look like they are over. For now. However, my weight is distributed in a weird way I have never seen before. Mostly my ass, thighs, foreleg, and feet. The hell? Usually when I am heavier, I have the fat everywhere. Now I am becoming a fat butt. It is very strange. Well, I can't complain too much, it's "for the baby," right?
So today I was calling my insurance to see how the billing would work out. If I go to NY, I would have to use the FDX insurance, and that would wind up being up to 7x more than if I stayed here in AZ and used my coverage. I want to go to NY, but I am not interested in paying more money than I have to. I figured it would be neat to have my kid born in Brooklyn, but I don't know if it is worth the effort. I'd have to get TJ a plane ticket; I have to get a larger vehicle; I have to take my FMLA earlier; I have to find a place to deliver or do the prenatal care stuff; I would have to stay in my "room" for a month or so. Not sure if all of these appeal to me. If I stay here though, I will have the delivery alone, and won't be able to show the baby for quite a while. I can't just up and go to NY and certainly no one is visiting me. Oh well. I don't know. I guess I still have time to not decide, ha ha!
I was supposed to clear my desk so I can feel more organized, but that didn't go well. I need TJ to help me! I can't do so much of this by myself. Probably because it is too boring. Who the hell wants to organize papers? I sure don't. But it is preventing me from feeling ready to go so to speak.
I have not received my CCNY transcript yet. When I do, I will know that Gateway got theirs. Then I can take that HESI A2 test. I have some study stuff for it, but I am mostly focused on grammar. Everything else will be fine. We don't have to do much, just vocab, grammar, reading, and math. Much easier than the pre-nln I took. They made us take all the sections, when physics and stuff is not required. How stupid! Well, we all know how I feel about that school, so anyways, yeah.
By the way, I would LOVE to have a beef patty right about now! The website says they have them in Arizona.... LIES!!!!! Maybe someone could Fedex them to me?? HAHA yeah right!
I just spent a good portion of the morning reading old posts of my blog. All I can say is WOW!
Wow because I am reading all the crap I went thru that year (2004) and seeing where I am now... Wow! It is funny because (almost) all of the things I wanted or predicted for myself happened. I moved to Arizona finally, I finished the bachelor, got a "real" job, found a "real" man, married "real" man, and on and on! I am actually quite proud of myself. Although I never really intended to have a child, I can add that to the list of things I have that make me happy. I also have a Jeep, a house (two stories!), another awesome car, my own large desk, too much makeup for my own good, a personally designed wedding ring, two wonderful cats, a bread machine, a freezer (can't say much for my stupid fridge), a new stove, and small job to keep me company until I figure out what is going on with school. I'd say I have done really well!
Keeping that in mind, I was kind of sad/mad about the KCC thing. I realized I was NOT wrong for leaving them. They DO suck. THEY LOST THEIR ACCREDITATION! LOOK HERE! Now I feel vindicated and I KNOW I wasn't "crazy" for leaving. Also, now that I have done the med school thing and learned some very important stuff from that, I am ready to come back to nursing. I am definitely okay with picking up where I left off. As stated in a previous post (many year ago): "If I decide to persue nursing after my BS, I will go directly into a BSN program in Arizona. Why should I waste time? If that goes well, I will continue as I had planned, getting my MSN in psychiatric nursing and working for the USAF." (link) Well, I don't think I am going into the Air Force, but I think that the BSN path is a good option.
I do plan to stick with the Maricopa Nursing program, whether I get into the BSN program or not. It is a lot different from 10 years ago, or at least, out here is different. There are many programs to choose from to continue your education and I think getting the NP is a good alternative to med school. I get to stay home and get the support I need, I get to keep my job for the most part, I get to go slower and go part time, allowing me to have a family. I did think about the DO route, but, well, it's just as bad as med school because I would have to go out of state unless I go to the school in Glendale... which is a 45 mile drive?? No thanks. I think that this is the best plan. I was thinking that if I don't get into the BSN program right away, I could see about doing the MBA while I am waiting. Out here there is a huge wait list for nursing and sometimes it takes a very long time to get a spot. That is okay. I can either get another job or go to school. Whatever happens, I think this is the best path.
With that being said, I have completed getting my transcripts from the NY schools. Now I will wait a week or so and call Gateway to see if they got them. Next week or so, I will send off my transcripts from Arizona. When I do that I will also take their entrance exam, the HESI A2. I looked over some of the stuff and I definitely need to go over my grammar. HA! Otherwise, I would have took it yesterday. Anyways, I went to Gateway and copied some practice questions on grammar and spelling, so I will go over that before I take it. The test is walk-in, so I will take it when I have gone over the stuff. What I am hoping is that all my stuff gets in and I can complete my application before March 31. That way, I have time to apply to the BSN program, I think. If not, oh well, not a big deal, but I will try to expedite this.
Well, I have work today so I am not so thrilled, but it's nice to have a job for now.