Welcome! This blog is Retired. However, you may still enjoy some of the finer pages of vintage online ramblings out there! Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log, people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like. Blog officially retired 02.14.2021
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Yes, dreams, do come true. I guess that is what I have to say about this whole process. I can finally say I am going to grad school and getting a "doctorate." Even though it's not a PhD like I always wanted, I hope this will be sufficient. I think this will make me happy.
I am pretty much ready to go. I have all my loans taken care of and I just have one letter to mail off today. I haven't received my dissection kit yet, but I should get it today. Then I will have everything I need to start class right away. I have all the books I will need so far and the rest I will ship to my apartment. I also have one suitcase packed to the brim with the textbooks. I think I'm going to take a few out and move it to the duffel bag so it's not at exactly 50 pounds. I am going to bring my multi-function printer on the plane with me as a carry-on. I have no choice! I won't leave that and have to pay $$$ for a crappier printer. I like that one so it's coming with me. Then I will just bring a smaller tote bag with my computer and a change of clothes in case they lose my luggage. I also have to pack up the duffel bag and a few boxes and I will be ready to go.
I know that I am getting nervous because I haven't slept well for a few days now. There are so many new things happening at once: Separating from my husband and cat, living in a new apartment, living in another country, going to grad school that is also medical school, taking out government loans, and being in a place that I have never been to before where I know absolutely no one. I think it's fair to say that it is at least moderately stressful. I think everything will be okay since it's a modern island with modern amenities. I am not sure if I would be as calm if I was going to Ross on Dominica. I think the reason so many people go to Ross is because of the name. I think people want to go to a school that sounds "real" and doesn't have the words "Caribbean" in it. Me, I don't care about that. I would rather be in a place that can help me if something goes wrong. No one is going to care if my school says "Caribbean" in it. If they do, they can go somewhere else.
Because I've not been able to sleep well, I am very tired. I am not sure how much packing I will be able to do, but I will have to try. I also have to pay some bills (darn) and buy some stuff (yeah) today. I've kept all my boxes from my gifts and hope that will be enough for my stuff. Sometimes I think I am bringing too much, but then I realize that knowing me, if I don't have a specific item, I will obsess about it forever. So I am going to bring all the things that I will need that may not be on St. Maarten. That way, I have no distractions. I can focus hard on school and do well.
Since I will miss TJ's birthday, I am going to make a cake for him before I leave. I hope that will be okay. I may order him a gift from Amazon when I get on the island so we will see. I don't know what to get him though. Maybe I will get him something from SXM. Hm.
Well I am very tired! Im falling asleep as I type! I don't know how this will work out today doing these chores. I am glad I took down the tree yesterday and put away all the Christmas stuff. I wouldn't be able to do all that today. Well, I guess I better get started. YAWN!
When I first was going for this whole med school thing, I learned that UA was taking up to 25% out of state people. Then, after I applied, they decided to take up to 50%. This means that they WILL take 50%. So when I learned about that, I knew I wasn't going to get in at UA because I wont be paying a premium to the school as an out of state student. TJ said that I still had a chance. I thought that my chance was 0. So he bet me $5000 that I would get into UA. Even though UA-Tuc was my top choice, they had two campuses. The original bet was just "UA" so I extended it to both campuses. So far, he's halfway lost. I am waiting to not get an interview from PHX and I win! Well, yesterday, I got this email from UA-PHX:
Hello,
The University of Arizona College of Medicine-Phoenix Office of Admissions and Recruitment is impressed with your dedication and commitment to a future in medicine.
Our final interview spots will be filled by January 20, 2012.
If you are selected to interview, a separate email will be sent.
If you are no longer interested in being considered as an applicant for the entering class of 2012, please notify our office by email with your decision.
Continue to stay engaged and active in your pursuit of medical education. We hope to be in touch soon.
Please feel free to email with any questions or concerns.
Sincerely,
Office of Admissions and Recruitment
The University of Arizona
College of Medicine-Phoenix
550 East Van Buren Street
Phoenix, Arizona 85004
Office: (602) 827-2005
Fax: (602) 827-2212
Email: COMPHX-admissions@email.arizona.edu
TJ has about a month left, and I win!
Anyway, this email is very stupid. They are impressed by what? If they were so impressed they would interview me. What else is stupid is that they want ME to email THEM if I don't want to be considered. Huh? I paid my fees, you better reject me. That is one thing I don't understand about some med school hopefuls. They voluntarily withdraw their OWN application because they think they wont get in anyway. First of all, why did you apply if you thought you wouldn't get in? Second, if you PAID MONEY for an application, why are you withdrawing it? Let them do the work and reject you. If you are that scared of rejection, you need to work a couple of jobs before you start this ridiculous process.
So after reading that email, I became SUPER excited about taking the opportunity at AUC. Now, I am starting medical school, and I couldn't be happier. Screw University of Arizona. Honestly, I hope this whole taking out of state people backfires on them and they have a budget problem in a few years. I sound bitter? Of COURSE I am, duh! I want to live here, but I can't because that stupid school is in control of everything. You know, if I open up a medical school, maybe I will just open it up in Arizona instead. Yes, I know that sounds outlandish. It is. But it's nice to dream about people's demises.
Well, it's nine days until SXM. I am now rip roaring and ready to go. Today I am going to finish up my financial and send it in. Then Im going to wrap up my books and pack my kitchen items and food. Hooray!
Good Lord! I spent ALL day yesterday ordering books and crap for school. I took so long because of the cost. I kept saying "Just hit the 'spend' button already!!!!" But I couldn't do it until I figured out the lowest cost. And I found it, so now I am comfortable with everything. I didn't spend that much after all. I spent about $400 on books and I will Fedex them to my address before I leave.
I still haven't ordered the lab coat yet. I am seeing that you need to wear it in anatomy lab, so maybe I will order the one with my name on it after lab so I don't have guts all over it. I will just buy one at school and then order me a new one when I get there so it will be ready for next semester. Maybe I can use the old one for cooking? (eek!)
My deposit was also confirmed! Hooray! So I am all set to become a resident of St. Maarten. That sounds pretty crazy! It also sounds really cool too! How many people, who are not in the military, get to live overseas? I must say, this is going to be an experience. I am still scared I am going to fail, but like I said, I would think that no matter what school I went to. I thought I would fail ochem, and look how that turned out. I just have to remember that I already took anatomy, physiology, microbiology, half of biochemistry, and can do math well enough! I think I should be okay, no?
I was also approved for my first ever (government) loan! It's funny how fast they throw money at you when you want to be a doctor, but there is no money if you want to be a pilot! Ha! Well, I'll take this too! I've never took a loan out in my life, except credit cards. I guess that is why it took me FOREVER to finish the bachelor degree. The Pay-as-you-go program is a very slow deal.
I did NOT get to wash my hair yesterday, which is good because I chopped up about four gallons of ONIONS yesterday so that TJ can cook his food easier. Right now I am trying to get rid of the smell in the house. It will be worth it though... right? Well, either way, he should have enough onions to last until I come back. I think next time I will take my own advice and just buy pre-chopped onions.
So today is going to be a bit easier. I have to wash and iron some clothes, make a cake or something, re-pot the poinsettias (no I didn't get to that yesterday either), buy a few more things from the store, and pack up my bag with my food and kitchen supplies. That bag alone is about fifty pounds! I am still deciding if I am going to ship the duffel bags to allow myself to take a bookbag or ship the bookbag and take the heaviest duffel... blah blah it goes on and on.
No kitty kat pictures today, I need to rest a bit!
I am ALMOST done with all my paperwork! I sent off my hard copies yesterday. Today I can try to send in my financial aid stuff. I still haven't heard back about the transfer... that's making me nervous! Where did I send my money?? IEEEE!
Anyway, I only have a few more things to do and then I am set to pack! Wow, can you believe I will be leaving in 11 days?? I can't.
I also have to go to the airport and see if my suitcase will fit in the overhead. I think it will, but Im not sure. I think they have a "sizer" at the airport to see if your bag will fit. Well, I know JetBlue does. Not so sure about any other airline. I am not sure when I will be able to do that though. I have been so busy and I would have to go with TJ so he can wait for me in the car. Ugh. Little by little, I am getting there.
Okay, just a "few" more chores today and I can rest a bit. I really need to wash my hair!!!
It's funny how much more comfortable I am about going to AUC. At first, I was pretty scared. Now, I'm starting to get excited about finally getting this started.
This weekend was filled with tasks. And I am not done yet! I went and got my HIV results (negative in case you are curious), then I got mt TB test, my TDAP, and my flu shot all in one day. I had to lie down twice because all the shots were making me nauseous. I have never had a flu shot before and it was not pleasant. My arm was sore and I actually felt kinda sick. The next day, my other arm was sore from the TDAP and I felt like I was "getting over" some bad cold or flu. I was weak, my muscles hurt, my neck was cramped, and my lymph nodes in my groin especially were hurting all day. I had to drink two shots of whiskey to feel better. Yikes! Sunday I felt better, and only my TDAP arm was sore. Today I feel fine, but my TDAP arm is still a little sore. But I was expecting that so whatever.
This morning, I scanned in my "Technical Standards" form and emailed it to my coordinator because its due today. I am also hoping I can schedule my flight today. I have to hear back from them first. I am also expecting to hear back from my new landlord! That's right, I also wired in my security deposit on my new apartment in St. Maarten. Isn't that crazy? I can't believe I am going to live in another country! It's kind of exciting and scary at the same time. I chose AUC because it has the best island. Thousands of tourists some there all year. I will never be alone!
What's even crazier is that this is my last week in the United States! I will be flying to SXM sometime next week. UGH! When I say that, my stomach kinda gets queasy. I know TJ is still sad about me leaving, and I am too, but I think he is coming to grips with this reality. We just have to take it one day at a time. I told him we will talk everyday online. I also plan on writing a little paragraph everyday in a special notebook for him. It will be a cool keepsake once I am off this island recording our time (and only time I hope) apart. Of course, I will upload pictures and such on this blog and my webpage.
Right now I am contemplating whether or not I should order my AUC lab coat now or when I get there? I am not sure if I will have a chance to embroider it and if I will have to pay more over there because of the international shipping. Hm. Well, I have some time to decide.
I also decided in the fate of the GMAT. I AM going to take it. I am going to lightly study for it when I am in SXM and I will schedule to take it during my break in April. All I have to do is get above a 500 and I can apply to Quinnipiac. If I decide to not go to QU, I can wait to take it again and apply after my residency. There is an MBA program at the University of Tennessee that offers and accelerated one year MBA to physicians only (kind of like an EMBA). The best part? NO GMAT REQUIRED! HA! So now I just have to decide if I want the MBA from QU or UTenn. Each has their advantages and disadvantages, so I will see what I will do after I take the GMAT. One downside: I have to take the GMAT books with me! Oh well.
Today I am going to make copies of some vital info for TJ and do some chores. I have a couple of plants I need to re-pot. Oh and now I just remembered that I have to buy two big pots. Hm. I guess I can do that today. I also have to mail in all of my hard copies of my info for enrollment. I also have to try out my new folding bike. If the extra bag fees aren't too bad, I just may bring it this time instead of next since next time, I am going to bring Meux Meux! Awwww! I hope she doesn't miss me too much when I am gone for a few months.
Here I am, on the payments page, all my info filled out, but yet I can't hit submit and send my payment to AUC. Im frozen! ARGH! And not because I don't put the heat on. It's because I am frightened that I am making a bad decision.
But what other choice is better? Even if Meharry gets back to me, I would have already started at AUC since I wanted to start in May. I know no one is going to interview me, so who cares? I would only be prolonging the inevitable.
I just have to keep saying "Urbana" or "KIrksville" and I think I can get my wits about me.
Okay, here I go..................
I DID IT. I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO AUC! Uh oh, I feel sick...
Today I am going to pay my deposits. I am scared and I am reluctant. To keep my sanity, I just keep telling myself this would be the same as if I was accepted to Urbana or Kirksville. I'd be placing deposits and moving far away from TJ. The difference is that where Im moving is a happenin' island where thousands of tourists go. That makes it a little better!
Right now, I am copying my medical records and lab reports. If I have time today, I will try to get my vaccinations and health certificate filled out. Of course, I have to come back anyway because I also need a TB test. So I can get most filled out today and then come back and finish it.
I was thinking about going right now, before the sun comes up, to the Tumbleweed tree in Chandler to take a picture. However, I think I will do that with TJ... and maybe Meux Meux tomorrow instead so I have a nice picture to take with me when I leave
Its been a tough day. All day Ive been worked up about all the money I am going to have to spend to get set up at AUC. I mean, I DID save enough for all this, but its very hard to part with my money. All I keep thinking about is how I am going to fail. Which makes no sense since I took anatomy and physiology before and all kinds of crazy classes and Ive always done well. I guess my main problem is that if I fail, it will be a very expensive mistake.
Today I ordered an old (2007) copy of the First Aid book. I was going to buy the 2011 version, but the 2012 one is coming out in January so I decided to get an old copy for fifty cents and start off with that one. If I like it and think it's useful, I can get the 2012 or 2013 one later. I going to order some other textbooks from Amazon before I leave, as soon as I get my wits about me. I didn't want to order anything yet because I am afraid that maybe I will change my mind and not do this med school thing after all. Could that be possible?
I am not sure if that is possible, but I must continue to think positive or else I will just give up. I have to think of all the adversity that I have had in my life prior to this moment and see that this is a better problem to have. I also can think of it this way: If I had applied to and was accepted to, say, AT Still in Missouri, I would putting down a large deposit and finding a place to live right now, just as I am doing for AUC. Right?
So tomorrow I hope to get back on track of finishing my application stuff. I have to go and get my HIV test and a "Letter of Good Standing" from the police station. I have a feeling I will have difficulty with that letter, but we will see. I think I may also get Meux Meux vaccinated for rabies so I can take her next semester. I also need to write to my coordinator about my plane ticket. I need to know how much baggage I can bring with me and if they are going to set it up or if they will reimburse me. I am still going to try and keep it to three duffle bags for checked luggage, but if they will pay for it, maybe I can bring one more bag. I was assuming I would be paying the bag fees anyway, so if they paid that would be awesome!
I am feeling a bit better now that I have all day to stew. I am HOPING that I can pull through! What am I going to do? Reapply? HA HA HA HA! Riiiight!
So I guess I am going to AUC. Not too surprised. I am slightly worried that I am jumping the gun given that "everyone" thinks its stupid to go to Caribbean school before all is said and done with US schools. I say "oh well!" If I wait until all is said and done, I will be going to AUC in September anyway. I really don't think I'm going to get in anywhere. I will be surprised if I get an interview invite somehwere once I start, but even if I went, I would assume that I would get rejected anyway.
I have put so much thought into this and I really think this is the right thing to do. I may even be able to secure an apartment instead of a dorm! I have to discuss it with TJ, but I think I will take the apartment. It will work out to cost less and they allow cats and they have internet included. I don't care for TV or air conditioning. I can handle it. It doesn't get as hot there as Arizona, so that will be okay. It will be like New York. I will have to see how to get my cat ready to go if I get this apartment though. Anyway, I think this is the right thing to do. I have the chance to FINISH EARLY. I can make up for a year I lost trying to figure out what to do. Of course I am scared and of course I think I can fail. But I would think that no matter what school I went to.
The other benefit to the Caribbean is that TJ can transfer much easier and we will have a place to stay (for almost nothing!) in NY. If I go to school in BFE, he may wind up never transferring to where I am anyway! That would suck.
I just keep saying to myself that if I study hard enough, I can pass just like anyone else. I am hoping all goes well!
Today I find out what the "decision on my file" is. I assume it's an acceptance, but I guess it can be anything. I am scared to find out. I am beginning to worry about all kinds of things: Will I pass? Will TJ and I be alright separated like this? Will he be able to transfer? Will I graduate early? Will I score well? Will I get a residency?
I kept telling TJ that this will be a $20,000 exploration. I don't know if I will pass the first semester and if I don't that is about how much I should be out. I guess its not too high of a price to pay to try graduate school.
I also received my MCB textbook and workbook. It seems really interesting. I want to begin reading it today. I skimmed over some of it already and it seems to be a mixtures of biology, chemistry, organic chemistry, and biochemistry. I'm also trying to decide which books to bring with me. I want to bring quite a few for reference. I wonder if it will make me go over the fifty pound limit for checked luggage. I don't want to pay extra fees for textbooks. I also could ship my books. We'll see.
I have so much to do in such little time! This week, I have to get all my immunizations and whatnot. I also have to prepare for Christmas. Ive been keeping a pretty good schedule so far. I pretty much bought everything that I need for school in the Caribbean. I just have to buy spices and I think that should cover everything. I am actually getting sick of shopping! I also have to make sure I have enough school supplies. I don't know if I will do that today. Today I have to ship off the presents, make a list of all the places I buy the groceries and stuff for TJ, and make instruction sheets for taking care of the plants and the birds. This week I have to start on my MCB book, test out my folding bike and see if it works, and see about painting the bathrooms. I had bought paint because I thought I would leave in April, but maybe not. So when I find out today when I start, I will have a better idea of what to do this week.
Oh my God... I just looked at the calendar and if I start in January, I only have a little over two weeks left here!! Come Christmas, I will be freaking out! Im sure everyone before me felt the same way, but this is new to me. Will I be able to do it? Who knows???
Btw, I hate this new blogger interface. IT SUCKS! Now they DEMAND that I use google chrome. They also keep ruining my HTML code when I want to check my speling. WHAT?
Okay now I wait for the call or call them. I will post the results!
But I didn't hear it! Damm! I called back but I must have missed him. Oh well. I guess he will call back Monday. I hope this means I am accepted! That would be awesome. If I am accepted, I will do everything I can to graduate early. Just imagine, this could be said and done in SIX years instead of SEVEN!
I am getting closer to this med school thing! Whoo Hoo!
So yesterday, TJ and I were busy wrapping most of the Christmas presents. We didn't even finish, but I don't have much left thankfully. I still have to ship them though. Fedex Ground, you know it!
Today I have a "well woman" appointment. I am hoping that my practitioner can write my prescription so I can get the whole year's worth, or at least six months of my prescription. That way I can just bring it with me to St. Maarten.
After my appointment, I am going to return an appliance I bought during the Black Friday madness because everyone has a gift already. Then I am going to buy some powdered milk and eggs and other things for my "trip." Yes, I assume I am going to AUC and nowhere else. I also have to start making lists and showing TJ how to use instant messenger, make bread, etc.
Tj seems to be taking it alright. Sometimes he seems happy and then other times he seems sad about the whole AUC thing. I guess I feel the same way too. I don't really want to be isolated for a year and a half, but what other options are there? Apply again and again? Take the MCAT again hoping to get a 40? No thanks. I'm getting too old to keep waiting for stuff to happen, I need to take action now. I think it will be over before I know it. I think it will be harder living in NY again than living alone in St. Maarten!
Well, I haven't heard back from AUC yet, so there is still a possibility of starting in May anyway. I don't think it will make the transition easier, but I guess it would give us more time to get used to this crazy idea.
Next week Im going to get all my blood tests and vaccinations done. I should hear from them by then I hope. I could also hear from another school. HA! Yeah well, I guess we'll see (not).
:: Jane Dee 5:43:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: 12.01.2011 ::
Shocking News...
I got a call from AUC asking me if I wanted to squeeze into the January semester. At first, I thought no but after some thought...
First, I am not scheduled for any interviews as of now. I am on only one waitlist and it's for an HBC-type school that will only take me if they need a whitey in the class. If they do take me, I MAY get accepted in March or April, but most likely after May 15 when waitlists start moving. As of now, Im shooting for the May semester, which will mean I may miss some waitlist offers anyway.
Second, entering in January will give me the opportunity to apply for the previous year match. Im not saying this will happen, but I have a chance to if I do everything right and keep up with paperwork. It will mean that I probably cant do the observership at SHC, but it wouldn't exclude me from getting a residency.
Third, they offered to pay my plane ticket! Thats a savings of $800! because of that, I may just buy two or three large duffel bags and try to fit all my stuff as a checked luggage instead of shipping it Fedex. I do plan to buy a folding bike and shipping that unless there are no baggage restrictions on the plane.
So for a couple of days I have been contemplating whether or not I should scrap the US schools and just go ahead with AUC. And start in less than a month! What else is cool is that by the time I would start in the US, I would already be finished with two semester (1 year) of med school! That makes it more tempting.
Of course, the naysayers will say that its Caribbean school and that I should exhaust my US options first. I would but you know, Im 31 and I aint getting any younger! In med school years Im like 50 year old! If I actually have the chance to start now, AND finish early, exhausting all my options is less than ideal. More ideal for someone who is 23.
Of course, I would have an extremely busy month ahead of me if I choose to take the offer. Everyday would be something to do. To doctor visits, notarizing papers, packing figuring out the logistics, etc, this month will go by so fast. Before I know it, I will be at AUC. And let's not forget how much I'm going to hate being separated from TJ!!!
Right now, I am wondering if I should buy this folding bike to take with me to AUC. Of course, if I buy this bike, that means Im probably going in January. (unless I stick with May and are rejected from all US schools!)
