Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.
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So it has been some time since I updated much on this blog. I guess between working a slave job and being pregnant, I haven't put much thought behind updating the blog. But in any case, I have to update before the year closes.
I Will Start From Yesterday
Yesterday I was supposed to go and get stuff done like buy bird seeds and stuff, but instead I spent all morning turning red in the face trying to find a new ob/gyn who knows what the hell Tay-Sachs is. I was just about to give up when I called one place in Scottsdale. I asked about it and of course they never heard of it... as if I am expecting the secretary to know what I am talking about. Anyways I told her to ask if they do it because it is very important, I need it. So she goes and asks and they do it! Well, finally! I made an appointment there and I am hoping that they will not "forget" like this other stupid place I was going to, as you will read in the following paragraphs.
So because of the stupidity I was dealing with at this dumb place called Goodman & Partridge, I was considering not seeing anyone at all! There is a place right near the office I was going to that does Tay-Sachs testing, but they want ME to go over to Goodman's and have them fax over my records. I ask "what for, it doesn't matter what they wrote in their records because your doctors will diagnose what they want." They woman was arguing with me that is how they do it, so I said "Well, then I won't be coming in, bye." I mean seriously, I had two ultrasounds and a messed up pap smear. There is nothing they can diagnose from that which wont be seen in a subsequent ultrasound anyways. So what is all this hassle? Is every fucking doctor's office a pool of bullshit I have to swim through to get what I need? I mean this is crazy! It is one fucking test that is apparently covered by my insurance, and I just need a fucking code so I can get it preapproved just in case. This is not that hard is it? Instead the stupid Goodman's place says to me "Are you sure you need it? It is very expensive." OH OKAY BUT YOUR STUPID SERVICES ARE NOT? They charged me $50 for a pregnancy test that they probably got from the 99 cents store. To have the audacity to tell me it's expensive is mind boggling!
ALL morning I was calling labs to see who can do this testing. No one! They all need doctor referrals for some reason. So I started looking up New York places and found some here and here. The latter link is especially cool because they offer an at home saliva test (which is not very accurate for non-Jews), and an easy "referral" sheet to order the blood test through your doctor. I was very close to doing this method, but I thought to give one more place a try before I had to go to the hospital for prenatal care or some government clinic. I took a shower to calm down and ate something finally. Then I called the latest place and I finally got some positive results. Now I am not going to be 100% happy until I get that test done, but I have nothing to lose at this point. Thankfully, my insurance doesn't require a PCP referral so I can up and leave any stupid doctor I want to. Hopefully I will not have to do this all over again in a month because I will have given up and let the Lord take over.
Okay I Am Going To A Doctor!
The first trimester I did not see a doctor. I didn't think I had to. I mean really what are they going to do? There is nothing to see on a sonogram besides when they think the due date is. It just looks like a blob with gills or something. On top of that, I didn't want anyone poking around down there and disturbing the fetus. I was very paranoid about it aborting that I didn't even tell anyone at work. I thought that any stress would make it jump ship. Luckily, I had no morning sickness or anything so I didn't need to see anyone for medication and whatnot. I had only told a few close friends. Of course they were all like "When are you going to see a doctor??" and "What's the due date?" and other assorted questions. Well, when the time was near to find out the sex, I made an appointment at this ob/gyn Goodman and Partridge. It was okay at first... I called and asked if they do Tay-Sachs testing and they asked inside after I insisted and they said they did. Well, "good" I thought and made an appointment there. I showed up and they tell me all the things I know already: folic acid, prenatals, blah blah blah. Then they do a pap smear. Why I don't know. All I know is that I was bleeding for three days afterwards and I was very annoyed. I came back on the third day and they examined me and gave an ultrasound. Then I came back for another ultrasound and was going to leave when I said "where is my blood test?" Well, they went and got the blood person and I looked at the order and of course saw no Tay-Sachs. I asked about it and after a bunch of uneducated people kept coming to the room, I was asked "Do yu really need it, it is expensive." You know, it is none of their business whether or not I feel it is expensive. It pisses me off that this is their main concern. I reply with a "yes it's important, I've asked about it four times already." Well, they said I would basically have to call the insurance company and see if they will cover it and all that so I left in a huff. I said to myself I wasn't going back there because of this shit.
I did wind up calling everyone about the test and its covered by my insurance. Now I call billing since they also wanted me to pay $1600 up front for services they did not render. I said I was going to pay as I went and I am not paying for stuff I didn't receive in advance. Then I have to call and ask about the "billing codes" for this test and of course they tell me I have to call the lab and find those out. Fine. I call the lab and they tell me that THE DOCTOR has to supply the diagnostic codes... UGH! So I hung up and said screw this shit I will call someone else.
Worst Job Ever!
Originally, I went looking for a job because I wanted to get my mind off medical school stuff. Then as I went looking for jobs, I was considering new careers and new companies to work for. After I was unsuccessful at landing a driving job nearby, I decided to go and get my CNA again. If I got my CNA, I could finally try to get into the VA (Veteran's Administration) and work on moving up from there. So I went to CNA class and I liked it; this one was way better than the one I took in Brooklyn. Anyways, I thought that I would have a good shot at getting a CNA position at Scottsdale Healthcare (SHC) if I started low, and moved up to CNA, gained experience and could then get a job at the VA. Well, at least that is what the website says: "Employee advancement" this and that. HA!
I took the job in April, as we all know and I found out that I had to work SIX MONTHS before I could put in a "transfer." A transfer is the application for another job. Okay fine. I was working really hard there, maybe 8 days a week (I know right?) so I could get a good "review" and will get the next job easier. Right? Wrong! My crazy manager decides to give me a mediocre score, which I complained about, and I learned that these scores don'[t mean anything for the next job. The reviews are just a way for the managers to write bad things about you. The funny part is that all employees are supposed to sign off on their review. Well, I never had a sit down with my manager to go over the review, so I refused to sign it. This place makes a big deal about signing the reviews blah blah blah. Well, I wasn't going to sign anything that wasn't reflective of my work. She originally gave me a 3.2/4.0 (basically a B) and I scored myself a 3.6/4.0 (basically the lowest A). She only bumped it up to 3.4/4.0 so I still wasn't going to sign it. Everyone was like "Oh my! won't you get into trouble?" or "You won't get your raise!" Big deal! I was so mad at that point, they can keep their two cent raise (I only went up 22 cents I think). Turns out I still got my raise, I still got my "employee bonus" at the end of the year, and I did not get into trouble. After applying to a CNA job (more on that in next paragraph), I learned that the reviews have NOTHING to do with how you are paid for the next job UNLESS it factors into the lowest pay. For instance: the CNA job starts out (and you will laugh) at $10.54 or so an hour (HAHAHA I KNOW! WHAT A PATHETIC PAY!) so whether I got my raise or not, I would start out at the minimum. If I made more than the minimum, say $10.75 and hour, I would get a 5% raise. The stupid HR woman told me that you get your review raise (say 3%) ON TOP OF the next jobs raise. So according to her, I should be offered $10.54 PLUS 3% (or whatever your raise was). But that is not the case. And I noticed that HR always gives me multiple answers for the same question depending on who I talk to. The reality is that if I am in a category that is higher than the one I am applying to (lets say that the dishwasher position is higher than the CNA) I would take a 5% PAYCUT.Of course, they don't tell you any of this until you are already working for the company. Other stupid things I found out about SHC: as an employee, you can only apply for ONE TRANSFER at a time. Why is this stupid? Because an outsider can get THREE applications at a time. Now I know they say that employees are favored, but how do I know? That's right, I will never know!
So I got an interview for the CNA. I even cut my vacation short to make it (bad decision). I go there and they guy is nowhere to be found. I have to call all over the place to find him. Finally I do (red flag #1) and the first thing he mentions is how fancy I am dressed and how crappy he looks in his scrubs (red flag #2). Okay. We go to the interview place and he starts the interview. From my understanding it is supposed to be a STAR type interview (Situation, Task, Action, Response) and I am very familiar and comfortable with those. So he starts asking me questions, and really, they are stupid. They are all negative questions like "tell me about a conflict" (okay that is common) but he also includes what I think my manager thinks of me (?) and how I reduce stress (??) (red flag #3). Then when he asks the STAR questions, he dozes off! (red flag #4) He also answers his phone during the interview (red flag #5) and doesn't write much down (red flag #6). At this point, I want the job, but I know that this guy is an idiot (yeah you M. Huffer) and I just totally wasted my time coming to this BS interview. What this was was a FAKE interview. He has someone in mind, but for whatever reason, he "HAS" to interview other people to make it seem legit. If not then this guy is a total moron. My true feeling is that he may have wanted to hire someone off the street, but will interview an employee to make it seem like that outsider really deserved it. This reminds me of the interview I had at Fedex for the trainer position. Yeah, I was beat out by a few points. Yeah from a guy who already works at that place, and that manager already knows! Ugh!
Well, of course I didn't get the job and this whole stupid process takes a MONTH! So here is the deal: SHC claims they want to advance employees and that they do everything they can to move people up, YET, you MUST work six MONTHS at your current position, you can only apply for ONE application at a time, and it takes a WHOLE MONTH to get an answer. How's that for advancement? A joke is what! Anyways, the day after I was rejected, I applied for another CNA position, and guess what? It took a WHOLE MONTH just to tell me they were going with other people! Hello! Now mind you, as the third week approached, I applied for another position, which is the one I just interviewed for, and that went very well. I was hoping they would make true to their threats and delete both applications, but that never happened. I got the interview for an Occupational Therapist Assistant, and if I get it, I may take it. I say may because I still want to give my stupid managers a chance to stay to their word of giving me three days a week (see next topic). However, given their track record, I can't trust them. This job I interviewed for is three days a week, period. I would work weekends and Wednesday. The only downside is that I would have to drop my insurance because it is super part-time. Right now I work just enough hours to get full-time status on health coverage, which is more than half the price of the part-time fees. Given that I can use both insurances to pay for the delivery, this awful job may have one advantage after all. Of course, once I come back from leave, I would have to argue for the weekends and nights so I could go to school.
So we all know that this job is awful. I hate it. I am alone all day; I do boring work. The more pregnant I am becoming, the harder it is to cope with the apparent awfulness of this job. The senior manager (which in this place is called the manager and those under are supervisors) said that he is over hours on his budget so if people want to have less hours "we can work with you." Well, you know what I did! And you know what happened! Nothing! I asked for three days instead of four and was told some long-winded answer that means no. Okay so I thought it over for a week or so and said "screw this" and gave my letter of resignation to my supervisor. She said "noooo" and said "whyyyy" so I told her i wanted three days and Manager man wouldn't give it. I said this job is getting harder and I need an extra day to do the things I need to do to prepare (see the above phone tag nightmare). She said she would give it. Hmm. Well, I'd love to believe her but she has never been true to her word since. Perhaps the threat of quitting has helped her know that I WILL walk if I don't get what I need. Maybe. I am not banking on it, but I like to "see what happens" and sometimes that turns out bad for me. The only benefits (if there are more than one) to this job are: I get the full-time discount on insurance, I am right near food all day, I take breaks when I want to. The other job is obviously better, and it pays more, but I will have to shell out more money for insurance or drop it. I kinda want SHC to pay for my suffering, so I kind of wanted to keep the insurance. Of course, I don't know if I will even get the job so all this speculating does me no good. However, if she does comply with my request of three days, no weekends (so I have TJ to help me with stuff), I will have to change the schedule when I come back from leave. I would then need no days, and weekend and nights only. I would hope to keep the 3 days but I can go for the 4 days if she complies with me. Changing it to weekends and nights would allow me and TJ to switch off to take care of the baby, or I would only have to use day care for one or two days a week. Unless they would be okay with me coming in after he gets home and just staying the shift to finish. But we shall see. TJ would rather I quit because of all the stress this place puts on me (it's only DISHWASHING for Christ's sake!) but I can do it if I only go three days. I am very reluctant to quit because I stayed at home so long already that I don't want to sit around all day and I do like making money. It's nice to buy things that I need (or don't need, haha) and still have extra.
I have also been applying to other jobs, but no luck. I have stopped applying because I am too pregnant to cover it up at interviews. If I quit, I won't be able to apply for a job until.... who knows? The other benefit to staying at SHC is that I can go to school. I have been writing about taking nursing again, so it would be to my advantage to stay because if I don't get into UA (again, haha!) I can take the ADN classes at some crappy school. So these are the conflicts I think about everyday at work.
Oh yeah and he took away the music. What a jerk!
Back To The Drawing Board!
Or in my case, the whiteboard
So I have been writing here and there about what i would like to do next. I was looking at the MEPN program at UA for nursing, and was all ready to apply this January, but I am finding I am having trouble getting a letter of good standing from Kingsborough. When I was in NY I went there to get one and I am not going to rehash everything here, but they are stupid. I think I knew that already and it speaks volumes to why I left that dumb program. Anyways, if I can't get a satisfactory letter from Kingsborough, I m not sure if I can pursue this route after all. I may have to go back to logistics or, as this last interview made me see, I can try "occupational therapy." There are only a few schools here that have it but I have all the prerequisites for the program, I would just have to (reluctantly) take the GRE. Since that is a major factor that holds me back, I will consider that as an option further down the road. I am not thinking about school much right now because I am trying to balance work and being pregnant. I had done all this work to obtain a class for this coming semester but since they didn't tell me the payment was due in like, two days, I was dropped for non-payment. Oh well. I didn't know if I wanted that class anyways since there are many programs that do RN to MSN, which is something I may have to do, well, if KCC sends a letter people want to see.
So that is the gist of the last couple of months. 1)My job sucks 2)Its been a nightmare trying to find a competent doctor who can test me for Tay-Sachs 3)I can't get a new job even at my own company 4)I don't know if I can even pursue nursing because KCC is stupid 5)I may have to go back to logistics before my GMAT expires 6)There might be another healthcare option for me, but only if the VA hires occupational therapists.... and they do.
If I have time, I will post some pictures pertaining to this post. Until then, Have a Happy New Year!