:: The Headache Diaries ::

:: The Headache Diaries ::

Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.

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:: 2.21.2013 ::

To Celebrate My Win!

Have a video!

John Parr - Man In Motion (St. Elmo's Fire) by jpdc11

I can't believe I WON!! I sent out my information already so I hope they get back to me soon so I can pay the security fee!

:: Jane Dee 5:26:00 AM [+] ::
:: 2.20.2013 ::

The proof is here! All I have to do is send the good people at Fedex Delivery Company some money to pay for the Security Keeping fee so they can release the package from the Fedex Security Company! I can't believe my luck has finally changed!!


Date: Thu, Feb 14, 2013 at 12:17 AM



Dear Customer,

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your long existing Package that was registered with us for shipping to your residential location. We had thought that the UK lottery promotion gave you our contact details to contact us, it may interest you to note that a letter was also added to your fedex package, however we cannot read the full content to you via email for privacy reasons we understand that the package itself is a winning bank Cashier cheque which worth over $1,500.000.00 USD {ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLAR} As you know FedEx do not ship money in CASH but Bank Drafts/winning cheques are shippable. The package is registered with us for mailing by the UNITED NATION lottery promotion, We are sending you this email because your package is been registered on a Special delivery Order What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for immediate dispatch of your package to your residential address.

Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirm your information's it will only take one working days (24hours) for your package to arrive your designated address. For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by the UK lottery promotion before your package was registered but Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, is to certify that the winning cheque is not for Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF) neither is it a fund to sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help you avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country. Note, you will have to pay a total Security sum of $82 USD to the FedEx Security Company being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of your package as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also be informed that the UK National lottery promotion Company wishes you to pay for the Security Keeping charges, but we do not accept such payment just like that considering the fact that all items & packages that is registered with us have a time limitation and we cannot accept payment that is not known to us, so you are to send us your full detail so we can send you with our own payment procedures for the security keeping fee of your parcel containing $1,500,000.00 USD. Kindly note that the lottery promotion did not leave us with any further information we hope that you respond to us as soon as possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry date of this package, we may refer the package to the British Commission for Welfare as the package do not have a return address.

Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the details given below:

FedEx Delivery Post Contact Person: Mr. Bright Collins

Tel: +919582835413

Email: deliverycompanyfedex@yahoo.cn

Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email address given above.

This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone numbers.








SEX (M/F):



Kindly complete the above form and submit it to the delivery manager on:deliverycompanyfedex@yahoo.cn

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the necessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment for the Security Keeping Fees. As soon as they confirm your payment of $82 USD, they will not hesitate to dispatch your package as well as the attached letter to your residence. It usually takes 24 hours being an over nights delivery service. Get back immediately with your informations so we can proceed with this mission.


Mr. George Adamson

FedEx Online Team Management


:: Jane Dee 4:43:00 PM [+] ::
:: 2.15.2013 ::
It's Magic

Well, not really, but that song is stuck in my head for some reason. Yesterday was really cool! TJ surprised me by showing up at the house for lunch. At first I thought it was the UPS guy delivering my stuff From Walgreens but I heard someone wandering around. I was wondering what was going on, or maybe it was the Fedex guy who lives across the street? Then the bell rang. So I thought, "My stuff is here already?" But nope! It was TJ! Bearing gifts! And the fist thing I saw was a bag of WHATABURGER!!!! I aksed "Um, is that a patty melt?" Of course! You know it's true love when your husband buys you one of your favorite hamburgers!! (the other is the junior bacon cheeseburger at Wendy's.

SO I did manage to make all his goodies which included: Kahan's Kids Chocolate Balls (they came out good!), to which I added choclate chips and hazelnut creme in the center, and cocoa powder, sprinkles, or non-pareils; fake mascarpone cheese (vegan, my invention) on top of chocolate fudgy "tarts" that were very yummy; chocolate "cupcake shaped" candy holders with candy inside of them. let me tell you, those candy moulds are NOT made for real chocolate. What a pain in the arse!

So today I am hoping to ship off a gift for my mother (I bought her a wool sweater robe thing) and send back my old EZ-Pass. I've had that thing for EIGHT years now, and the battery is going to die, so they said. Therefore, I have to get a new one. I was "supposed" to send it back in 15 days or they will charge me, but mehhhh. I will send it today. The new one is really small. I will post pictures later when I update my webpage (ha ha right).

Maybe today I will clean something. HAHAHA!!

:: Jane Dee 7:53:00 AM [+] ::
:: 2.14.2013 ::
Balentine Day

So I have been spending time applying for jobs. I hope to hear back from one in particular, which I won't say the name of, but I would like to get. Anyway, I decided that I am NOT going to go over the road because, well, if I learned anything from the Caribbean, I think I am not good at being separated from TJ. Plus, my Chinese zodiac fortune says that we (me and TJ) have to defend against extramarital affairs and should stop any long-distance relationships. Well, that is enough warning for me. I am just going to try harder to find a local job. I was thinking I would take lower pay if it were a forklift job. Those are pretty easy jobs because you don't lift anything except the fuel tank. The tank is pretty heavy though. But in any case, I decided to stay here.

I have been thinking about what my new plan should be. I am not 100% on anything, but it goes something like this: get job, save all my money, go to flight school, get flight job, the end. It will be a few years before I can go to flight school, but I think it's worth it since it is something I always wanted to do since time immortal. I think now is the time I do what is going to make me happy. So if that means driving and flying then so be it.

What was funny was that I was looking up KCC because I forgot the address. As I left the page open, copying the address, the banner was flashing different pictures of majors and of course a picture of KCC nursing shows up WITH the professor that taught me in NUR 18 (? I think?). I almost threw up! I just had a rush of bad memories flood into my head and I actually felt ill! I remembered the very first day of "nursing" and I said on this blog that I had made a huge mistake. HA HA! I think that point in time may have been the worst time of my life. I hate to say it, but Fedex saved me! If I never got the job and learned about transportation, I would have sunk to the bottom of the sea and would probably be still living with my mother. And I wouldn't have the bachelor degree either. Like I said, I would have sunk to the bottom of Jamaica Bay, decaying amongst the radioactive garbage and horse bones.

Well, today's activities includes me making a bouquet for TJ, along with some "chocolate balls" and perhaps a cake or brownie. We went out to eat yesterday night and it was very yummy! We bought the assortment appetizer, three entrees (we split one), lemonade, iced coffee, and purple sticky rice for dessert! YUM!! Anyway, I also bought TJ a nice gift, but all of it is not here yet. I will have to wait for it to arrive and give it to him later. I guess I also have to clean up today! Ha! Well, that will be the daunting task of the day. Well, Happy Balentine Day!

:: Jane Dee 7:39:00 AM [+] ::
:: 2.06.2013 ::
Please Shut Down Memory Lane

Sometimes I wish my brain would stop taking me back in time. I don't care! It's done with! Geez!

On some good news, I accomplished a few things: 1)I was able to throw away the old makeup! I took a picture of it and like magic, I was "okay" with its departure. How strange. 2)I finally got rid of Pierre's pyre. 3)I cut up all the cardboard boxes from my "expeditions" and put them in the recycle bin. 4)I got rid of all but one medical textbook. I have it still for sale on Amazon, so I will wait a couple more months before I offer it for $9. 5)I cleared out all my little cubby holes and was able to get rid of useless stuff.

I feel like I'm back to square one, figuring out where to work. I am just hoping that I can find a good driving job soon. I had requested my DAC report from HireRight just in case Fedex participates in the program. I will see if my former manager wrote any lies about me. If she did, I will kick her ass! There shouldn't be anything on it though, but I have to make sure. When I get that, I will elaborate more on my CDL adventures.

But for now, I am going to make my way to the Goodwill to donate some more stuff and then maybe go to Winco to get some stuff.

:: Jane Dee 8:27:00 AM [+] ::
:: 2.05.2013 ::

I went to Goodwill yesterday looking to donate my textbooks and see about finding a new cat carrier. As I was walking the isles, I saw a book titled: When Your Best Isn't Good Enough. I was thinking "Ha! Did they write a book about me?" I didn't buy it, although I should have since it was only 99 cents. Although I already know that I see myself as a failure even though I shouldn't, I wondered if the book would be a good read.

This year has been particularly filled with deep thoughts. Most of them about how I am half dead and have nothing to show. Sometimes I wonder what this whole thing is all for. I was pretty confidant about the med school thing, and we see how that turned out. I can't say I was confident about the Caribbean school thing, but I thought I wouold be able to get in at U of A. Then of course, we rewind my life, and all I see are failures piled on top of each other.

Take Fedex for instance. I was there, trying to move up, all the while, no one ever took me seriously. I had two interviews for the same type of position (trainer) and the last time, I was sure I would get it. I had prepared so hard and had answers to every possible question they could ask me. My presentation was awesome, it was even animated. But no. I was told that I lost it by four points. Yeah right. They knew who they wanted and they just interviewed people to make it seem like they were trying hard to look for someone. After I was told by one of the interviewers that I would "Get it next time" I became so angry and annoyed because I knew that unless someone on top wanted me to get a better job, there was no way I was going to get one on my own. That was when I was thinking about leaving. It was confirmed that it was a dead-end job.

Then we go back a little more and we shall find my Nursing fiasco. What a memory! I don't know how I was able to get sucked up into that realm, but there I was, an eager beaver, thinking I was finally going to do something that was worthwhile. Then BAM! I wasn't sure if it was me or nursing or that school in particular, but that was like putting potassium and water together. After that, I wasn't sure of my abilities to decide anymore. At least I was right about that because look where I am now!

Then just before that I was trying to finish my math degree. HA! I don't know if I was too sad at the time, but I could not focus on anything at that school. I was all over the place. I didn't want to leave to do nursing but I figured I needed to get something done so I can have a decent job. Of course, that is when I thought nursing took only two years for the associate degree. WRONG! Takes at least three. Well, once I realized that I was annoyed, but convinced myself that it would be worth it.

What is interesting is that I never even considered psychology before. NY doesn't teach it in high schools, so I really didn't know much about it. I had to take some classes to do nursing and although the teachers were really bad (save one), I liked the subject. I also really liked microbiology. I even considered taking micro instead since it seemed more interesting than nursing. But I didn't and here I am typing up all the "wouldda, shouldda, couldda's."

Then there is the initial disaster called Long Island University. I was set to take pharmacy when I started college and was even accepted to my top choice school in Philadelphia. I guess I needed to take out a loan, so I asked my father how I was going to pay for school and he just shrugged his shoulders. Apparently, he did not want to cosign. Nice father I have. Anyway, since he didn't cosign and my then stupid boyfriend who barely graduated high school (and he wouldn't have if it wasn't for me) didn't want to move to Philly with me, I decided to go to LIU since I could stay at home. HAHAHAHAH! WOW! ERROR! I had no loans so I worked full time and was trying desperately to pay off that enormous bill. My mother helped me a bit, but between all the working and the crappiness of that school (and Lord, was that school a hell hole!) I was ready to drop out, never to return to college. I went to Kingsborough on the advice of my cello instructor from high school. That was a good idea. At least I had something.

It seems like I have a long, torturous history with school. Elementary and junior high school was no dream come true either. I did well, but I was the child with the "behaviour issues." Not because I can't control myself, but because the teachers were idiots! The only good time I had was in high school and Kingsborough. The teachers I had in these places all had PhD's and were really smart AND they could teach, i.e., they were awesome, friendly, helpful, and interesting. City College was "OK" but the school itself was really run down and crappy. I think that it is the last of the CUNY's to get any money. Which is sad because CCNY is such a historic school. Oh well.

So I kept asking TJ if I should go back to nursing (of course he scoffed, har har). He said I should stay away from anything medical. I think I agree. The problem is that my interests lie in the realm of "masculine" careers, and since I am not a man, it would either be tough for me to get one of these jobs or that I would be placed in a position that is dead-end. For example, I was watching a show on regional airline pilots and there was a 26 year old woman who was the First Officer. Not bad you say? Well, yes, but she was put with a Captain who has been there 15 years and expects to be there 15 more. So I could see where she was going: Nowhere. It will be 15 years before she will be promoted. On a different show, there were First Officers who were promoted to Captain within nine months. They were male. Makes me wonder.

I bring up aviation because I am considering that field again. TJ said it was okay if I don't make any money (and I won't), as long as I am doing what I want to do. Then I was also considering getting a master's in psychology. Of course, there is the MBA in supply chain still waiting for me. And there is the whole transportation field (which ties with the MBA). I think it would be awesome to get the pilots licenses and all that and work for the Department of Transportation. Maybe I can get hired by the FAA? Who knows. I do know that I will be old, and I have very limited options as of now, so I am not dreaming big dreams or getting my hopes up for anything anymore.

Well, enough rambling. I am ACTUALLY almost done cleaning my room! That is a miracle in itself.

:: Jane Dee 7:36:00 AM [+] ::
:: 2.04.2013 ::
Makeup Mission

Today I feel that I have the "strength" to discard the makeup that has been hangin' around too long. One of them is the Milani Runway Eyes collection in some kind of pink. I was dying for a palette of pinks and thought this one would be perfect, but it sucks! I didn't return it because I bought it from Walgreens and I am not sure of their return policy. It barely shows up pink. Naturally, I didn't want to buy any of the other palettes. I wound up buying the Maybelline Silk Eyeshadow palettes. These are much better. I wouldn't say they are as good as creme eyeshadow, as I loved Revlon's creme eyeshadows palettes (and those palettes I still have and are causing me the throw away problems), and would only use and buy those. However, they don't look as good anymore. Maybe I am just imagining it, but I feel iffy about buying a palette to try out. I dunno.

I did manage to get the Lava nail polish. TJ liked it! I think it would be perfect for the Jeep.

Anyway, I know that I am behind on my updates. I know that my "me" page is not correct haha! I don't even think I have an "action plan" anymore. I mean, should I care? Not sure anymore. I think the only thing I care about at this point is applying for jobs and getting one. Then saving my money. Then seeing what happens.

Ugh! Everytime I look at my creme eyeshadows, I CAN'T throw it out! What is wrong with me for Pete's sake!!!

Makeup issues are very difficult sometimes.

:: Jane Dee 6:30:00 AM [+] ::
:: 2.01.2013 ::
Geographically Disadvantaged

HA HA!! Did you know that Staten Island claims to be geographically disadvantaged? To whom? Because as far as I can tell, they have the upper hand against people in Alaska! I mean seriously, is that even valid to say? Do they say that because their only option to the west is New Jersey? I think people would know by now that Staten Island sucks, so why would you move there? I guess I would if I really liked boats... nah, I'd move to Long Island actually. Or if you really like the smell of garbage. They should just make a tunnel to Brooklyn or something. Or not.

Yesterday I was trying to find a bottle of Sally Hansen lava, but I guess I am going to have to get it at Target after all. I am not a huge fan of target, but everywhere else is sold out. I want to have that bottle because that is the color I want to paint my Jeep! So I want to keep it to show to whomever is going to paint my jeep in the future. I guess I will go and get it today. I know I saw it at a Target so I hope it's still there! I will be mad if it is not.

I do have an issue: makeup. I have had some Revlon creme eye shadow palettes since, I dunno, 2003, and although I have spent the last year replacing almost every color (except this one greenish gold-y color that I don't know who sells it), I just can't seem to throw the damn things away. I even have a special container with all the makeup that I don't like or use, but can't bring myself to throw away. I really should utilize the return policy more often for makeup. I have been conditioned most of my life that makeup can't be returned so.... Anyway, I need to find the strength to throw these things out! What do I do?

Other than that, I have no other Earth-shattering problems. Except that I should accept that my room will never be organized. I just have too much stuff. I have doubles of stuff because of the moving away and all that. I don't want to throw those out because I will use it eventually. I just have to deal with some things not having a home for now. I think I should start using the space under the futon to put the orphan items. I also have so much stuff that my mother gave to me like blankets and mirrors, that I am running out of room. Well, those things are supposed to be on the wall, so that may be contributing to the space dilemma. I'm just glad TJ doesn't care about this. He is kind of a packrat himself, so he has problems throwing things out as well. When I moved in, his closet was not utilized because he had so much crap in there from when he moved. There were things from HIGH SCHOOL in there! HAHAHAHA! That year we donated so much stuff, it actually was enough to put on the tax return! He also had so many pots, pans, dishes (ugly), and other assorted crap in the garage. Maybe I should organize the garage too. HA! Yeah right! The one thing that the garage can use is a pegboard. That would be useful.

So today I am going to get the tire fixed on the car because it went flat on TJ yesterday. I hope they can fix it. If not, I'll have to get a used one for the meantime. The tires are almost used up anyway. I also need a replacement for the Jeep. It seems that one tire is worn out but the rest aren't. I guess I need balancing and alignment. I can wait on that. Those tires are almost done too. So both cars just need one tire fixed/replaced and then should last for probably less than a year. Unless I take another trip. Then maybe only through the summer.


:: Jane Dee 4:59:00 AM [+] ::

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