:: The Headache Diaries ::

:: The Headache Diaries ::


Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.

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:: 1.30.2013 ::

The Hose Knows

I finally got around to repairing the hose because I needed it to wash the new kitten's stuff. I think it works okay now.

I also think my trip to the DMV gave me a fabulous sore throat! I hope it doesn't morph into something else, I don't want to be sick!

Anyway, I have some "chores" left to do in the house, namely my room. Sometimes I think I should just give up on trying to put everything away. It's not like I'm going to have the president coming over. Well there isn't too much left, and since I don't have any shopping to do, I should try to finish!

I am also going to finalize the books I am going to keep and those that I am going to donate once and for all. No more medical books or whatever. I am only keeping some choice books. I am also going to go thru my cosmetics and beads. I have stuff that I just don't like or use or is not useful. Maybe I can donate those things too.

I am going to make breakfast. I spent all morning looking at perfume deals. I think I am going to make my purchase today. I have been pondering a few perfumes for a while, and since I get bonus points from that website, I think I'm going to go for it. Then my collection should be complete. I shouldn't need anything for a long time. Unless there is an amazing deal on the ones I like. Hmm. I also know that I have to update my webpage. I need to sort out a lot of pictures so bear with me. I definitely need to do that soon. At least I am only one year behind, not seven like last time hahaha!


:: Jane Dee 9:58:00 AM [+] ::
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:: 1.29.2013 ::
Hazmat Huzzah!

I got my TSA clearance this weekend so I decided to get my hazmat yesterday. Well, the thing about Arizona is that when it rains, things go haywire and I guess the DMV is no exception. Their "system was down" and I waited hours to get what should have took 10 minutes. I will never understand why putting your equipment online takes so long. What are we paying taxes for? In any case, I was really angry and my new license picture shows it! When I saw the picture I laughed.

I am still not finished cleaning my room. I suck! Geez!


:: Jane Dee 7:32:00 AM [+] ::
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:: 1.25.2013 ::
Cleaning Vortex

It seems that when I start to clean my room, I fall into some kind of vortex that slows me down so I can't finish, then saps my energy so I have a hard time making dinner. WELL! Today I am going to try to get this room done, as it really needs to be vacuumed; there are bird seeds all over the carpet.

I had a funny-sad experience a few days ago. I had handwashed some "delicates" and hung them up on my air dry rack that TJ thought was a turkey, but it's supposed to be a peacock (HA HA!!). Anyway, I went to the bathroom later and I smelled something that I smelled all the time at my apartment while at AUC. I was like "WHAT IS THAT SMELL!! I DIDN'T USE GAIN!!! (I don't like the smell of gain and that is all I used in SXM) So I sniffed and sniffed and I realized it was my bar soap. I guess I didn't notice the smell in SVG, even though I used this bar soap there, but I noticed it now, and it made me confused and kind of mad. I guess I will remember AUC for the rest of my life when I smell that smell.

Today I was going to try to make my delicious spaghetti squash with curry sauce. If I have the energy. I had bought some huge squashes from WinCo and I wanted to make that dish. It seems that I can't really get too many things done since I have been back, and that includes finding a job. I think once I finish cleaning up this mess, I can "move on" so to speak.

Well, I think I should get cracking at this room. I wanted to buy some dye, but Micheals is not giving out any good coupons. I guess I will wait for a better sale. Yes, I will post pics and update my website soon.


:: Jane Dee 8:37:00 AM [+] ::
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:: 1.24.2013 ::
More Memories

So little by little, I have been trying to get rid of all the med school memories. I was cleaning out my drawer and I saw my voice recorder. I started to listen to it and I was trying to decipher the anatomy professor. I laughed a bit because I kinda understand him after the fact because I learned it from somewhere else. However, while I was there, I could barely understand him. I guess the previous students were correct in saying that you should just study from BRS. No, really, you should study from that book only. In fact, if you could put earplugs in your ears and not listen in that class, and just read BRS, you will do way better than I did. Of course, you are basically teaching yourself, but I guess that is how it goes in the Caribbean.

I recorded some of the the most understandable parts and I will post it later. Just remember, if you know it already, it will make more sense. I couldn't find the part where he said "hee-poh-poh-tam-oos" but I did record a part in the heart lecture that I still can't even decipher. Once I put those us, I will delete all the files on that recorder. Who needs it anyways? I sure don't. I figured if I want to know something, I can buy old BRS books, and an old Bate's book for physical exam. But honestly, is that going to happen?

I am chipping away at all these tasks that have been backed up since last year. I will get to it! I am just slow at sorting things because one minute I say I will keep it and then the next I just throw it out. Go figure.

I don't know what I am making for dinner though.


:: Jane Dee 5:33:00 PM [+] ::
...
International Text

Oh yes, look above in the navigation bar for my my Saint Vincent number, in case someone is bored and wants to text me. It's INTERNATIONAL, so watch out! I can't text back, though. I don't know why I can't. When I landed it worked and the texting worked for a few weeks, but now I can't send any texts. Oh well. One of my friends has international texting and he texted me and it works. So I will get it, but I can only post back on here I guess? We'll see. I'm going to see about putting the number in the Chatroll box as well.


:: Jane Dee 10:40:00 AM [+] ::
...
Shopping Success

Yesterday was great! I got everything I wanted and more! I got ice cream, cliff bars, craft paper, beads, and my blood pressure monitor!

I went to this store called Harbor Freight Tools and it seems to be a Man Paradise. I was the only female shopper in there! It was like being in a makeup store for men. All these guys were winding around with their shopping carts, looking at all the tools and gizmos, oohing and ahhing over the circular saws. I can share in their enthusiasm, since I like tool stores as well. I told TJ that he would love it, and we should go. I even found a mechanic's stethoscope. Not that I bought it or anything, but it's cute.

So it's been almost a year since I left, or more fittingly, ran away from as fast as I could, from AUC. Sometimes I feel bad about that too, but then I go "Pfft, yeah right!" I just remember my last few days there being some of the most physically grueling days I had ever experienced. The speed at which I had to pack and carry my stuff was way beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. Especially since I wasn't eating during the last few days, I had no idea where the energy was coming from. All I knew was that I WAS going to get out of there. There were many times I thought I was going to collapse or die. I would say "Is this it? A I going to die in Sint Maarten?" Then I would draw power from somewhere and say "NO! NEVER! I will NOT die here!" and magically have the strength to do whatever the hell I was doing.

When I came back from AUC, I needed a lot of time to heal. I hurt my shoulder carrying my heavy boxes down the stairs and through the streets. Sometimes, it still hurts when I do certain things to aggravate it. But now that it is a YEAR later, I feel good about leaving. That school and me did not mix well.

I didn't need much time coming back from Trinity. I figured a trip to New York would help, and it did. It helped me get my marbles back and get a new vision of what my life is about. Of course, my mother had some suggestions and opinions, but I don't have to do everything she says. Ha Ha!

Not much to do today. I was going to go to Walgreens to get some contact lens solution, but I'm feeling kind of lazy. I have computer stuff to do and give my NEW cat a bath. I'll talk about the kitten I found later. For now, I am just trying to get myself some breakfast.


:: Jane Dee 10:36:00 AM [+] ::
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:: 1.23.2013 ::
Need Shea Butter

Of course now that Walgreens has the darn thing in stock, the sale is over!

Okay so I'm done talking about Troll. Well, not just yet. I did want to mention a few more things. The first is that I think she is responsible for creating and spreading rumours about certain people and professors at Trinity. What I do know is that she has a track record for being a rumour mill and a beyotch.

What is interesting about Troll is that she would always talk about a certain professor, wink, wink. Of course, she would talk about him in a negative way, but the frequency of him coming up led me to believe that she actually liked him, not despised him. My conclusion is that she liked him, but she either realizes she can't be with him or that he doesn't like her, and is now angry at him. HA HA! No, I'm not crazy! She would say random things about him like "He's touchy" and I would say "Like, what, he has an attitude?" and she would reply "No, like, he touches your arm when he talk to you... I don't want him touching my arm, ugh!" Then she would talk about his girlfriends or relationships i.e., "Why isn't he married?" (I'd say "maybe he doesn't want to be married.") or the classic "...He's even brought his girlfriend to school once. You think your skinny, she was all bones.... And she is a native!" (I took that to mean she is black and that Troll disapproves. She even made a disgusted face, ha ha!) She would also talk about how old she thinks he is (She guessed 35, I guessed 39; She was right, whoops!), what he does on his time off, why does he do the things he does, etc.. I don't know, but something tells me that she actually likes him, not hates him. What was even funnier is that she showed me a picture of some actor and described what she thought was her ideal man: tall, medium brown hair, brown eyes, light-medium complexion... When I told this to TJ, he laughed and said "I like it when people describe their 'ideal person' but they are really describing the person they like." Yes, that sounds like she is describing said professor. Oh yeah did I mention she said she wants to have a baby? The question is: with whom?? HA HA HA HA!!!

Okay, okay, enough with the Troll. I shouldn't spend three days writing about her. What I should be writing about is that there is an awesome sale on ice cream at Albertsons today (why is there no apostrophe?) and I have to get ready to go! I am also going to buy an automatic blood pressure cuff today. Then maybe get some craft paper at Michael's.

I'm still waiting on my TSA clearance, no Hazmat yet.

I have other news to share, but I have to do these things in bits, so bear with me!!


:: Jane Dee 5:57:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: 1.22.2013 ::
Troll Story, Cont.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I suspected Troll was using my bar soap. How did I come to this conclusion? Well, when I was at AUC, I used about one bar in a month. When I was at Trinity, I was like "One bar gone already? It's only been two weeks!" Then when I moved into Rhonas, My bar was barely gone. It occurred to me during a shower that Troll must have been using MY bar soap! I also noticed that her liquid soap barely moved in the container! I think I should get labwork done and see if I contracted anything!!!

What is funny is that I had a strange feeling that she was using my toothpaste during my time there. Her tube was practically empty and a few days had passed and she did not replace her tube. I had a weird spark in my head that I should remove my toothpaste, and I had. She didn't replace her toothpaste for at least a week. What was she brushing her teeth with?

I also had to start locking my dorm door. Not only did I think she came into my room to steal my snacks or other cool stuff while I was in class, she would leave the main door unlocked at night! Great, now I have to also worry about mobile Trolls looking to rob me whilst I sleep!!!! AARRGGHHHHH!!!

Okay so now I'm going to throw out my crusty old plants. Then make potatoes!


:: Jane Dee 1:41:00 PM [+] ::
...
Funny Reflections

It's funny to look back and read some of my old entries. Like one that reads that I plan to have a kid, married or not, when I am 30! HAHAHAHAHA! Wow!

Anyway, I am feeling much better today so I can update things that had happened in the past few months, or maybe year? So yesterday I mentioned my yucky roommate. Okay so let me tell you a bit about her.

When I was signing up for Trinity, I was given a housing form and I was supposed to fill it out with what I would prefer, like what kind of room do I want, and what kind of roommate do I want. Well, I figured maybe this time I will opt for roommates because last time I got my own place and that didn't work out so great. So I didn't fill out that part and put down what kind of roommate I want. I didn't really have a preference and I wrote that I didn't want to be with anyone TOO neat, because I am not. Well, the assholes in housing apparently took that to mean I want to live with a troll. I had two roommates, one very nice and the other a train wreck.

She is much younger than me, maybe 23 or so, and her parents are paying her school. She apparently grew up as a brat with her mom or someone doing everything for her. To describe her in one word: Gross. In two words: Annoying. Three words: Needs psychiatric evaluation.

Anyway, she started off okay. However, she was kind of "noisy." She would drag her metal chair all over the tile floor making loud noises late into the night while I am trying to sleep. I called her into my room and demonstrated for her what the noises were and she claimed "she never knew how loud it was" and stopped doing that. For a while. She would then laugh like a goblin while skyping with someone late into the night. That wasn't too bad. What was more annoying was that she would go out of her room at 0100 and fry up some stinky french fries. Not that I have anything against french fries, but she is one of the world's worst cooks so she would always burn something. So the stinky smoke smell would wake me up or keep me up. In that dorm, I never had "good" sleep.

Speaking of her cooking, I was wary of her, but I decided to give a cooking deal with her a try. She claimed she would pay me for groceries and I would cook. Well, okay, but she never paid me. She wanted to pay me with her weird plastic Canadian money so that I would have to go to the bank, wait in line for an hour (literally) and exchange her money. I said no and that she better pay me soon. I had to stop cooking for her literally because I waste time getting the groceries, cook the food, and she would eat it all (she was kinda fat), and then she wouldn't wash anything. Her brat trick, which I am very familiar with, is leaving just a little bit in the pans so it looks like she is leaving me something. That way, if I eat it, I'd have to wash the pans. I called her out on it and said if she doesn't want to wash dishes I can't cook anymore. She said blah blah blah, and because she is a lazy troll, I had to stop cooking. Which was fine because I didn't want to feed her fat ass anyways.

But the fun doesn't stop there! Remember I said she is a filthy pig. I had the misfortune of sharing a bathroom with her. GROSS! She is NASTY. I swear I thought I would catch something from her. She clogs the drain with her hair, and because my soap was in a tray on the floor it would get wet with her bath water regularly. I always had to wash my soap before I showered. Yuck! But wait, there's more! She would also leave the floor full of water because...? I have no idea. The sink would also flood for unknown reasons and leave water everywhere. I cleaned it up at first because it smelled, but then I left it because she said she would help clean it then never come back. I had to buy waterproof sandals just to shower because I don't know what was in the water. Then, gross of all gross, she would leave her menstrual blood smeared on the toilet seat! WHY??? I don't know, maybe she doesn't know how to wipe her ass? Good grief!!! Then she would just throw her bloody pads in an unlined trash can, smearing blood all over the can so the poor housekeeper has to deal with it. SICK! Then, because she is a bitch, she would jump into the shower right after the housekeeper cleaned it. So when I would shower, she already put her diseases all over it. UGHH!!!

I also mentioned that she was one of the worst cooks in the world. And a pig. She would try to "cook" and, for example, would open a bag of lentils. Well, when she was done, there would be lentils all over the floor, food splatter on the walls and stove, spice powder on the sink, burnt shit on the stove, and dirty dishes everywhere. It fucking lentil soup and it looks like a lentil tornado came through the kitchen. She would routinely leave food on the floor. She spilled pasta all over and left it for almost a week. She left squashed guavas on the floor. Dishes for a week, and mind you, we have to share dishes. Oh by the way, she would leave dishes in the sink for days, and then she would wash them all in a matter of two minutes. I would see food stuck on the spoons and have to tell her to rewash that shit! If she wasn't around, I had to rewash everything just to be sure. The whole time I was in the dorm, I had a sore throat and I assumed it was from her germs.

Another thing about her was that she claimed she had allergies. Bullshit! She would make herself sick. When she finally arrived to the island, she had all these drugs for allergies that she made her "doctor" give her. I'm sure she has an illegitimate pharmacist give them to her. Anyway, one of the drugs was an immunosuppressant. Huh? Why the hell would you need an immunosuppressant for a sneezing allergy? My guess is that is her secret weapon to get out of going to class and to make people feel bad for her. Of course when she took it she got strep throat or something and was coughing all over the kitchen. I thought she was going to contaminate everything. Luckily I didn't get too sick from her, but I did have a sore throat. I also remember she would make the other roommate go get her meds for her. HA HA! Are you kidding me? I would never do that! I'd say "You have a sore throat, not gangrene on your foot, go get it yourself." Besides, the meds were downstairs. She was certainly not that sick. Oh brother. Anyway, once that wore off, she never had allergies. She would sneeze here and there, but anyone would do that. And she wonders why no one at the school believed she had allergies!

She was so clean that it would attract ants. There would be all kinds of assorted bugs in her room. I remember she wanted me to kill some bug, but I couldn't find it, but she wanted me to stay and hunt for it, and I blew up and said "I'm on the phone with my husband I don't have time to kill stupid bugs!" HA HA! She looked sad. Good for her, dumbass.

Another thing about her was that she would turn the air conditioner waaaaay down. And of course, my room was the coldest. I was told the thermostat was agreed to be set at 75, which was too cold for me. But whatever. This witch would sneak in the closet at night and turn it down. I would wake up shivering. So I started to keep track and found out that it WAS her turning it down. I confronted her about it saying "You disrespect me by lying to my face? Don't disrespect me because I won't stand for it." And then she stopped messing with it. She said I should cover my vent and I said "I'm not going to stand on a ladder and tape up a vent just because you want to turn it down. That thermostat better not move again." Because if she did, I would turn it to 79 and lock the door and keep the key on me.

After the second test, I petitioned to have my own apartment. It was approved and I moved about six miles off campus to Rhonas. I got my own place and it was really nice. It had a balcony and a huge bathroom. (I'll post pics soon) I really liked it. So I was okay at first, doing better on my exams, but then, I don't know. Maybe it's because everyone left Rhonas? It seems that the place was filled, but almost everyone moved out because it was too far. I thought the distance was okay, but it was lonely there. There was this one guy in my class down there that I guess liked me. I had to cover up my peep hole so he couldn't sneak a peek since he would come by my door to see the girl next door to me. He had touched my back in lab in a need-to-cop-a-feel kind of way. Then he mentioned something about my "sexy outfit" even though I thought it was far from sexy. He wasn't even cute, so I was completely unflattered.

The one thing I really hated about the apartment, besides that guy, were the ants. Good Lord they were everywhere. I would spend an hour killing a long trail of ants when I would get back. Then in the morning they would be in the sink. FINALLY I had the chance to get some bug spray and that helped a lot. Luckily I had all of my foods in zipper bags so only one bag of nuts was attacked by ants. How they got in I don't know.

I guess as time went on, I slowly lost my mind. I stopped eating. I even stopped drinking water! I only drank coffee. I think I may have peed about 1/4 cup everyday. TJ was getting very worried about me and told me that I had to come home. I was like "Duuurrrrr, what? I dunno." Finally, I had the energy to pack my stuff, because he said he was going to go there and extract me himself. At some point I kinda wished he would have come to "save" me, but I figured I had better just change my tickets and do it myself. I stopped going to class and cleared out the apartment on the DL. No one saw me except the woman who runs the roti stand and the other woman who runs the salon. I only told my anatomy professor I was leaving. And then, like magic, I disappeared.

It's sad, I know. I did like St. Vincent and I thought the school was "cute." But you know, when I visited, the school was different. When I started, the supposed cap of 40 was blown away with over 60 students, and they got a new Dean, whom I didn't like. His vision was to make Trinity a heavy hitter like AUC or Ross, but you know, not everyone wants to go to those types of schools. I liked Trinity because it was small and private. It was good for people who just want to be a family doctor or something basic. I wasn't looking for an amazing Caribbean school (if that exists), just a school that I would like and be comfortable with. But they were changing things way too fast and using the new large class' money to fund his dreams. I guess there is more I am not explaining here, but that is the gist of how I felt. Maybe I will write more about that some other time.

Today I don't have too many goals. I didn't get to fix the hose and throw away the plants, but I may do that today. Then I will make something with all these potatoes I have. Probably something Indian and spicy. Or just a buttload of french fries? Maybe just make home fries and freeze it? Not sure. I also have to take out the trash. Small goals, but I'm getting there!


:: Jane Dee 7:51:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: 1.21.2013 ::
Taskin'

Went to the post office AND got the cardboard out! Go me!

Now I have to sew some stuff...


:: Jane Dee 2:18:00 PM [+] ::
...
Analysis

Some time has passed since I posted my "resolutions" post and now that the smoke has cleared I can properly post some more of my thoughts. I do think I am going to curse in this post, so beware! I think the last time I cursed was in 2005? 2006? Who knows.

Basically, whatever I said previously is true and still stands.

However, I think I need to add some things or analyze things further.

What is most interesting about my "journey" (or course of torture, whichever fits), is that it all happened by accident. And what is even more interesting is that the accident actually happened. I was in a car accident and my car was no good. I realized that I had no money and wanted to get a "real job" so I could just move out, pay bills, and get on with my life already. Well, I was reading some book written by a KCC Nurse and thought that I could be a nurse and make a living. So now here I am, over a decade later wondering how I could have let this get out of control. Well, I will say that I was going to put medical stuff to rest BUT TJ had convinced me to try. Okay, yes, sometimes your spouse means well but doesn't know all the answers, bless his heart.

When I graduated from City College, I said "Okay, I am only going to get the MBA, the med stuff is officially buried." After a year of trying to figure out possibilities, it was clear med school wasn't going to happen. Okay, so I go full steam with trucks and logistics, and try to acquire skills in that area. I meet TJ and before I know it, I'm back on the med track. ARGHH!!!

Before I had discussed this situation with TJ, TJ had tried to get me to be a pilot again. I was like "yeah right", "no way" etc., but he said he's help me pay. Well, Sallie Mae didn't want to give me the whole loan, so I said screw them and didn't go to flight school. That was a sad day. So the next thing I did was scour the careers section of the library trying to find SOMETHING I would like to do. I basically read every book they had and came up with nothing. I was considering going back to pharmacy when I realized that the prerequisites and test for pharmacy were similar to medical school. When I also saw that the government had programs to pay back doctors if they worked in certain areas, I was sold. I would try with TJ's help.

So began my quest for medical school. I soon realized that if I didn't get into my state school, my only choices would be D.O. school. At first I was really against it, but came to grips with reality. One day I was searching some websites and came across "Caribbean Schools" and discovered this whole parallel universe of medical schools.

And now you know the rest of the story.

You know what the most interesting thing about Caribbean school is? Nothing. Honestly, you will not find anything there you can't find in a US school except crappier facilities and horrible teachers. I don't care what some numb-nuts says, the teaching experience is subpar. Here are some examples:

Anatomy: HA HA! Yeah I have gone into depth about that one. School #2 was a vast improvement, but the "lab" was not to die for (**rimshot**).

Physiology: Wow! What a nightmare. School #1 didn't do physiology. School #2 had a new teacher for each topic which is OK but it would be GREAT if they could TEACH and FOCUS on what we need to KNOW, not some bullshit stories about his experiences in the ER. The first teacher for physiology is AWFUL. She is "nice", but you know that is code word for "crappy teacher." Her slides were the most unorganized crap I have ever seen. EVERYONE I asked agreed. Good Lord, when will they replace her? Never. Who the hell wants to teach in St. Vincent? No one. The next guy apparently has been teaching his section since day 1, when the school belonged to St. Georges or something. We blew through renal in four days and we spent two hours working on clearance problems that weren't even on the test. HELLO?? Why don't we spend two hours going over ion gap or acidosis/alkalosis problems? I don't know, but it's probably because it makes too much sense. The third guy was OK, but everyone hated him. I thought he was okay. His questions were fair. Oh well. The fourth guy I didn't stick around for, but I will guess he sucks too. Given that more than half the class was failing, I am going to say the physiology teachers suck.

Biochemistry: Wellll... School #1 had "MCB" or molecular cell biology and school #2 had traditional biochemistry. I think they were both OK. I don't think either of them "teach" anything because they just read the slides and we have to memorize it. School #2 was better because they recorded everything on Tegrity, so you didn't HAVE to be in class like school #1. It's really boring because you just memorize everything. School #2 became more interesting because then we started to learn how to apply the bchem. But I guess I didn't stay to see the fireworks display.

Histology: School #1 is better. They actually have the class. School #2 offers it through Skype. The Skype class was EXTREMELY frustrating. I think they worked out the kinks, but I am not the type that likes to be a guinea pig. In short: I hated Skype class. That was the class that broke the proverbial camel's back. I didn't go to class anymore because it was such a waste of time. I should have done what my stinky roommate did and sleep in and study at night.

Speaking of stinky roommates, I had the roommate from the garbage dump, but I'll talk about her later. Just know that she is a filthy pig, yikes!

Then of course there are all kinds of juicy rumors about this and that, but I probably shouldn't get into that here. Probably get in trouble for slander or something.

I have to say that despite all this, I am sad that it is officially over. Med school is dead, no more, never again, no way, no how. I did look at PA programs, but TJ was against it. I applied to St. John's but they said they don't take people with bachelors degrees already. Okay, never mind, case closed.

To rid myself of all things med, I have been selling off ALL of my books. And I mean ALL. Including the old nursing books I had. I am also going to donate all my old textbooks that are not good for selling. I want all things that annoy me outta here. I only have a few books left, so I am happy about that. At least I made some of my money back!

My next step was to get back my Hazmat endorsement. I went to the DMV and took the test and got 100%, whoo hooo. I am now waiting for my TSA background check to clear. Then I can get my X endorsement back (haz-tanker).

Then, I plan to get a driving job. I will save up as much money as possible and do a few things: 1)Buy land or a house on the water on Long Island and 2)pay for flight school.

After much talking with TJ, I realized that I need to do things that I want to do. Like REALLY want to do. I think that being a pilot will make me the most happy. I never had any other goals. I think it will take a few years but it will be worth it. If time permits, I will try to get the MBA, but that is not the top priority.

I also visited NY this past Christmas. It was weird being with my mother for Christmas. I hadn't been in NY for Christmas since 2006. And the day after Christmas, I had my CDL road test. Once I got my CDL, I got the job in Arizona so fast, I barely had time to move. It was nice meeting TJ because I thought I would have to come back to NY to get a full time job if I stayed with Fedex. Good things happen sometimes!

During my visit to NY, I figured I would get my head back together again by seeing my friends and family. Well that didn't work out as previously ranted about. What I did learn is that people suck, and will continue to suck. Because of their suckiness, I was inspired even more to care for them less and do what I wanted to do more. I came to the conclusion that I am not going to buy gifts for those that do not buy me anything. I will not say happy birthday to those who had not done that for me. I will not visit anyone who does not visit me. And I will not care about anyone that doesn't care about me. Also, I am not going to be anyone's chauffeur.

For TJ's side, I told TJ that I am not going to waste my time buying his family gifts when all he gets is cookies and shitty gift cards. I DON'T SHOP AT TARGET!! But does anyone care to ask? No. Does anyone care to get to know what we like? No. I told TJ that his family is getting K-Mart gift cards next time. He laughed but I said its either that or you buy them $5 gifts. He said he would buy them the $5 gifts, but I am not sure. He has a problem with buying gifts in that he waits until the last minute then spends too much money on people who don't give a crap because he feels guilty. Guilty for what? He says it is because HE doesn't visit. I said well, they can sure as hell visit you! I guess he has a different view of gift procedures. That is why I did all the gift shopping. But I will just have to let him do it. We'll see how he does. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Today I am going to go to the post office and then try to put away some stuff that I STILL haven't put away since coming back from the Caribbean! My goal is to at least cut up all the boxes laying around and put away some stuff I had bought. My room is a disaster area, so that is my goal. If time or energy permits, I would like to throw out some yucky plants and fix the hose. The last one is most likely not going to happen, especially if I keep yammering on this blog. So in that case, I should get to it!

More nonsense later... hey I didn't curse (horribly)!


:: Jane Dee 9:19:00 AM [+] ::
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