Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.
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I did well on my bchem quiz and I am really pumped about everything. I would post another cat oorah, but I think you get the jist.
I just wanted to write that in. I haven't had much time to do anything else, so I just wanted to get that out there for all time, ha ha! Right now, I have to get cracking on physiology so that I can be ready for that test. I hope I can do it!
Another day at the lab. I spent a good four hours or so going over all the muscles of the arm and leg, as well as trying to get the nerves straightened out. I think I am okay with that stuff, I just have to go over it. The next step is to do the clinical stuff and nerves for the leg. I think doing that should allow me enough practice for this upcoming anatomy quiz. I really want to do well on it!
Well, wanting to do well and actually doing well are two different things. Because I didn't do so hot on my tests, I have mandatory tutoring for this month. I have three hours on Friday alone! Tomorrow I have tutoring too. I'm not happy that I have to go to these sessions, but I guess if they help that is good. I have to do what I can to do well!!
Anyways, I have to get on with physiology. We have a visiting professor who I guess has been visiting here for over ten years now. I was falling asleep during his lectures, but I think that was because I was so tired.
I came back from the anatomy lab and I must say that was a good thing! I think I am going to do this frequently. I do have a quiz on Friday so I have to study well for this one. I have to make sure I study the clinical aspects of it all. That is what we are going to be quizzed on.
The only down side is that the last bus back to my apartment is at 8:30pm. The earliest I can get a bus is at 6pm and they came almost 30 minutes late. So I kind of only get two hours max. I think that would be sufficient though. If I did that almost everyday, including the weekends, I should be okay with the work.
Anyway, I have some time before I call TJ up, so I am going to try and finish up the pentose phosphate pathway notes. Luckily, it's a short one!
Oh yeah, this week is going to be murder! We are going to have a TON of physiology this week all starting at 8am and on Thursday, we like, FOUR HOURS of it! You better believe I am going to be chugging that coffee. Better yet, I am going to take my chocolate covered coffee beans with me. I will definitely need it!!!
Why you ask? WELL, I just spent four hours trying to get ahead in CARDIO for physiology, when I check my mail and see that we are NOT going to do cardio, we are going to do RENAL. NICE!!!!!!
So now that I feel like an idiot for wasting a few hours to study something we are not doing yet, I can say that that kitty cat above accurately displays my annoyance. Not to mention the crappy music being blasted outside my window right now. When I moved here, I thought it was going to be QUIET. Seems like I can't escape stupid shyt.
What do I do now? Just pretend that CARDIO never happened? UGHHHH!!!! I guess I should just keep going and get to anatomy for a couple of hours then try to consolidate bchem. So what is the moral of the story? Getting ahead may get you into trouble. Or just mad.
This week will be all about fresh starts. I have put away almost everything in my new apartment. I have almost caught up and gone ahead in class. I am actually starting to retain anatomy and bchem!
Anyway, today I am going to make physiology notes and work on anatomy. Then save the best for last (ha ha), bchem. I don't want bchem to take over my life, so I have to make sure I give the other subjects a chance. I was reading through the anatomy last night and I was actually retaining the information. Maybe its because it was so quiet here? In any case, I am glad my brain is starting to work again.
This week, I want to spend some time in the anatomy lab. We supposedly can get the key from professor whenever, so I will try to make an effort to stay in the lab at least one extra day. Staying late last week was really helpful, even though I probably looked like a major butt kisser being the only one left when professor came back. Well, I need all the time I can get! Besides, the bus to my apartment only comes every hour or so, so it pays to stay in lab instead of winding around doing nothing, wondering why I am such a loser.
Some peeps in the lab were interested in my Netter's book, so I said I would check out the online resource. I think I am really going to scratch off the key code! Oh no! I think they are right about it being helpful. I think I am also going to scratch off the codes for bchem as well. The physio I won't because I don't particularly like that book. I ordered a different book for physiology so I am hoping that helps me. I think I will see if I can borrow professor's copy of the fat physio book. Maybe we can barter for beer? I just want to borrow it. Well, I will ask. It's just too big and bulky to ship, and I don't think he needs it right now. We'll see.
Right now, I am cooking up some rice and will get started on physiology. I should also make some food. Something with eggplant. I have some big ones waiting to be cooked and eaten.
Oh yeah I will try to post pictures of the apartment soon. I mean, I haven't even posted the white coat stuff so who knows when I will get to this! Ha ha!
Looks like I spent a good part of the day figuring out bchem slides. I hate slides! Oh well. I am going to start on anatomy. I should be able to read through the leg chapter in a couple of hours. That is what I really would like to do.
Tomorrow I would like to read most of the chapter and make notes on the heart for physiology. I hear mixed things: a)physiology will get better and b)physiology will get worse. Hmm. Not sure who to believe, but I will take "get worse" for 500. I can't imagine anything going my way at this point.
I talked to TJ last night which was good because I am always feeling up then down. Yesterday I was mostly feeling down and he cheered me up. I kind of feel bad for him. I mean, he is all alone and having to pay my bills, while I just sit around in class all day. Well, I don't just sit around. Anyway, I wish I was home. But then, if I was home, then I wouldn't be in medical school. Strange world.
I am definitely blabbering on because my brain is tired. At least I have tomorrow to look forward to. I can study all day again! Yipee! I think there is supposed to be a power outage too. Well, I guess that is okay. I shouldn't need the internet tomorrow since I am just working out of the books and reviewing (I hope!!)
Okay, time to read about the leg and foot and hip and whatnot!
Am I sad? Am I stupid? I can't seem to decide. hmm
So I am up for a fun-filled weekend of studying. There is some symposium tomorrow about trauma where you get to meet-n-greet peeps from the island and see if you can set up some kind of research maybe. I was going to go, but I am not sure I want to make my way back to school for that.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I moved out of my dorm and into my own apartment. I am glad I did, I think I can do better here. The dorm was WAY too noisy and I could never concentrate. I am thinking that could be a source of my inability to study. Well, I guess the next test will show if that is true! At least I have a balcony. Although it's been raining like mad, I still like the view.
I dunno what is wrong with me. TJ thinks I'm just lonely. Yeah, maybe, but I don't feel a need to go hang out with anyone. I think I'm just sad that I can't study the way I used to. I am hoping that changes. I have been studying the way I like to for a few days now, so I hope it helps.
Well, enough blabbering, I have to get bchem stuff done!
I am so mad! I am so mad because I did not do as well as I wanted to on my tests!! BLAARGGHHHHH!!!!!
This is what I get for listening to everyone telling me "not to worry" "don't study on the weekends" "don't make so many notes" "just read the slides" and so forth. NOT ANYMORE! UGHH! I should have just done MY methods from the beginning and I would have been okay. Now look! NOW LOOK!! I have to get 100s in everything! How the hell am I going to do that????
Fine. I will take the hit on this block, but I am hoping that I can change this crap and fast! I don't want to have it where I'm like "well, I guess this is it!" and be defeated because I was trying to be like everyone else.
I just feel like total crap. I can't even eat. This is why I hate school. School and me don't mix. Never have, never will. But I have to try right? I have to "see" because if I don't I will always feel that I gave up too soon. So, I have to make sure that I stay the whole semester at least!!!
My problems don't just stem from academics, it's mostly relationship issues. I realize that this may be too hard without TJ. Sometimes, I feel like a needy crybaby because I can't even think straight without him. But it's true. I have to admit it. I thought that I would be okay leaving him behind but I must say this is awful! I am not sure how people do it, but I am beginning to think that I can't.
Well, enough blabbering, I am supposed to keep up with bchem. We are doing something like one pathway a day. And then I need to read ahead for physiology. We are going into cardiac stuff. And then anatomy! Ha! Anatomy! Why is anatomy starting to scare me??
Right now I am waiting for class to start. I think we are supposed to get our scores back today. I hope I passed everything!!!!
I have also been contemplating moving out of my dorm room. I like the room though. I also like being right next to the school. It really saves time. However, one of my roommates really gets on my nerves. I guess I wont go into detail here, but she is annoying enough that I would like to leave the room. Not to mention that I am always freezing in the dorm. Everyone here likes to make the rooms really cold. TJ and his dad say that I should stay on campus as long as I can, but we will see how much I can stand. I asked about single rooms, and apparently they still have some left. I want to go see them this week. Maybe they are really nice? They are a little far from class though. I'd always have to get up earlier. So if I was cramming, that would cut into my cram time, ha ha.
Today we were supposed to go over our exams. We actually only went over bchem and anatomy. I think I passed! I'm pretty sure about bchem, but no on anatomy since i don't remember it, hahaha. Well, I'm sure I did okay. It's physiology I'm worried about!
So now that the headache is over, I have to start all over again! Hooray!
This week is going to be light so I am going to read ahead in physio (using a textbook that explains stuff in a good way!!!!) and get started on anatomy. What I learned from anatomy is that the professor says "oh yeah you better know this!!!" and then doesn't even test anything on it! Pfft! Well! Now I know not to listen to him! I'm just going to go from top to bottom and not pay attention to his supposed "hints"!
So tomorrow is my first set of block exams, called the "unified exam" here at Trinity. I must say; I AM SCARED!!! Scared because I have no idea how these tests are run and I have no idea how I am going to do. I think I am going to pass, but I've thought many things in life that never became reality.
Anyway, Im on here to take a break from studying. I just finished physiology. All of it. No more, that is it. Hopefully, I have done a good job.
Next on the block is a quick look at the TCA cycle, which I think I was supposed to have memorized, but ha ha, right. Anyway, I will do my best to memorize the important parts. Im also supposed to know a bunch of other stuff but, well, we will see. Anyway, I am going to go over that cycle quickly, then get on with anatomy. I know probably 60% of the parts, I just have to go over the forearm and hand innervation mostly. The questions are going to be USMLE style (thanks for letting me know, unlike some OTHER places that don't tell you that!) so I will work out clinical questions tonight after going over the anatomy parts. I am only getting 20 questions from anatomy so I better not screw it up! That's a lot of points per question! I like tests that are 80 questions long. That way I can screw some up! That is also a reason I REALLY hate quizzes.
I don't know how much I am going to sleep tonight, but know this: I WILL SLEEP THIS WEEKEND. I have gotten maybe 4 hours of sleep, max, a night for a little over a week now. I will be happy to get rest, but I will be scared of my test results. I keep vacillating between leaving after one semester or just sticking it out if I fail a class. I mean it is not the end of the world if I fail, but does that make everything worse? I don't know. I know a lot of Caribbean students fail classes. However, I don't know their outcome for residency and stuff. So I have to decide what to do if I bomb. Well, Im hoping NOT to bomb, but I can't say it's not possible.
Anyhoo, I have to get started on TCA, and try to fit in as much as possible. At least I have glycolysis memorized!!!!