:: The Headache Diaries ::

:: The Headache Diaries ::

Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.

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:: 8.27.2004 ::

First day back, and Im hungry already

Guess where I am? In school! Wheee! Well, I would rather not get carried away because I am in the mac lab and i don't like macs. I have a long break before my lab (earth science, hehe) so I decided to get some things out while I still remember them.

Good news first: The school's main computer lab prints files from a memory stick and I can use my old earth science text from a few semesters ago (I withdrew and left for nursing). They also have all the science textbooks on reserve in the sci library so I can do my brushing up without spending more than I have to.

Bad news second: My economics prof is a total weirdo. Not only that, he was giving us all a great speech about how hard we will have to work in his class... hmm. Now the problem I have with that is I will be getting adjusted to work and school. If he makes this 100 class too much work I will be mad. Well, in any case, I can't move to another section because they are all closed. Well, I guess I'm stuck. Maybe he is just being that way because he doesnt want to see poor work. He also has some strict lateness policy (not that I am late to things) where if you are late you cant come in. Well, I was hoping I would be able to relax about the times, but I guess I have to leave two hours early as usual. Well, 6:30 is still better than 5am. The other bad news is that not all the PCs in the main lab have usb ports... at least where I can get to it. I also wanted to see if the psychology lab had any policy on that, but they aren't open on fridays.... the hell kind of crap is that?

In any case, I don't feel nervous anymore about school. I think after differential equations and microbio and anatomy & physiology, economics should really hurt. That much at least. Lets just hope I get As and I move on to my major requirements without a hitch.

I have an hour before my lab and I can eat my sandwich but that doesn't take up as much time as I'd like it to. I really have to get reaquainted with this school. I should also find out about that golden key society. They are probably looking for some kind of officer.

One thing I don't like about City is that there are no comfy couches to nap on like there are at KCC. Perhaps I should join a club or inquire about the society so I can have a couch to rest on. City does have a microwave in the cafeteria. They also allow you to eat in a special room in the main library. One of the things I enjoyed most was hanging out in Shepard Hall. Its a beautiful building. I love the library because you can listen to any of their CDs or records and study something else (heh heh heh). I also like the sci library because after 3pm, only the real nerds are left. You also have a better chance of playing games on the sci computers (hee hee).

Right now, I don't know what to do. Next week, Im sure I will have some work to do that can take up this time. Hopefully by next week, I can start work. Or at least know! The suspense is killing me, not to mention my bank account.

Oh yeah, one other thing I don't like about City: they dont serve Coke! I can't stand pepsi. That was always a problem for me: what the hell do I drink? Well, I learned to bring my own bottle of water or juice, but sometimes, I forget then I get mad. The fountain water here tastes like metal, so that isnt the tastiest either... how terrible.

:: Jane Dee 9:51:00 AM [+] ::
:: 8.26.2004 ::
This is it people. I am ready. I know what to do. I know where to go. THE TIME HAS COME!

Tomorrow, I begin a new school career and will hopefully leave me in a new and better position. I am prepared to finish. That means I am prepared to sacrifice more than I have before and work harder than I have before (Sheesh, that's hard!) Maybe get all A's again (oh boy). Get an officer position in my honour society. And start that JOB already!

Okay. Much luck to me. The old Jane Dee will be back before you know it. I am strong like rock! (lol)

Thanks y'all!!!!

:: Jane Dee 7:09:00 PM [+] ::
:: 8.24.2004 ::
Wow, my blog is so boring

You know, ever since I entered the nursing school, I have become some kind of elusive being. I was once a blog-aholic, but it seems I have practically disappeared.

Well, I'm not all enthusiastic about everything, though maybe I should be.

The most important event about to take place is the first day back to real school. Yes, Im back at my old college and ready to finish my degree before I die. The difference this time is that I changed my major (yet again - yeah so, shut up) to something that was "interesting" to me rather than "practical" or "prestigious." I guess that makes a big difference because I am nervous as hell. I am actually nervous and scared. I keep thinking that I will forget to wake up and miss my classes. Or that I will just be too nervous to study anything. This is very strange coming from someone who waltzed on the high school campus, passing all the freshmen waiting outside and scared, as though she was a senior the first day. Well, I guess things have changed - again. I dont think I have that specail "I rock" spirit just yet. Maybe it's because I have too many other worries.

So maybe you're wondering what my new major is? Well, I'll tell you. It's psychology. Well, its not that funny really. I figured that even though it would be an interesting degree to study for, it would be helpful anyway. Why? Well, I don't plan on leaving nursing completely. If I decide that I want to go back to nursing, it would be for nurse practicioner as a psychiatric nurse. Having a background in psychology would help that anyway. Not only that, I will use all my previous math and science credits to get a Bachelor of Science rather than a Bachelor of Art. I also don't want to take language; thankfully I have two years from high school and that counts towards the BS. If it turns out some other plan works, I will have the required degree. One of those other plans may be me going forth with a masters if I feel Im able to do it. However, that is all very far into the future. I have to focus one semester at a time because I can't afford the future right now.

That brings me to the next stressor. I have been waiting for a specific job (yup, still waiting) for a few months now. I feel a bit foolish because I was told that I would get it soon. Well, its been a while and I could have been making some grub money at least at a menial job this summer. Why am I waiting? Well, I will tell you. Supposedly, when they take me permanently, I will have "benefits" (yes, I will work for a corporation. I am not ashamed, I like corporations) such as tuition reimbursement, full medical/dental, 401K, loans, and deep deep discounts on GOOD stuff like airline tickets not just Comp USA. I will also have the benefit of working for a company that is all over the US. That means that when I graduate (because this company will get me thru school), I can transfer to the city that I will attend school in next if they are there, which they will be. I wouldn't have to find another job or worry that I wont be making as much as I did. I will also not have to adjust to new work. I can be doing what I have already was doing. So now you know why this job will be good. And why I have been waiting so long for it to come around.

Which supposedly will within two weeks. Now, I'm not saying that manager is a liar, but hopefully, I can hear the phone ring this week (like he said) and hear when my start date is instead of the Daily News (who should really stop calling me by the way). I want to say "when" instead of "soon, soon."

To be honest, I am very stressed out. Im afraid I won't be able to "do it" anymore. I mean that I am afraid that I won't be able to study like I used to. I just worry that I will lose interest and just try to get a full time job. I know Im pretty determined, but sometimes, you just lose faith. Sometimes, you just want to pull the covers over your head and sleep for about 10 years. Good thing all my classes are level 100's I have to get out of the way. They wont be too hard and I know I will most likely be able to balance that with work.

I don't even know what I am saying anymore. This blog is still boring though.

Classes start friday and I guess I can write about what happens. It's funny because when I had left the first time, I started this blog to replace "Attack of the A Train" on my website (that I havent updated in a very very long time). I not going to take down this blog because Im going to ride the A train again. It gets tiresome to make a spectacle of mundane train rides. Besides, I can tell you here if it is that great. Hopefully, the school atmosphere will help me get back into student mode again. Of course, I will try to get all A's again.

Besides the crappy work situation, I have a pretty exciting couple of years ahead of me if I do it right. After all is said and done, I should have plenty of experience and references. Here is what I plan to do (and if I told you before, tough. Go read someone else's blog then):

First, I want to get this semester out of the way. Why? Because this semester will finish all my core requirements for the bachelors. After this semester I will only have to fulfill my major requirements, and there arent many of those! I will also have a chance to audit classes. Why would I want to audit classes? Well, I want to take organic chem and even though I took chem already, I think I need to "brush up" to get a good grade. So I plan to audit chem so I can take organic later. I also plan to audit physics so I can relearn all that I think I had forgot. I wont buy any of the textbooks because you dont get a grade or credit when you audit, so I don't care. I just want to brush up.

Second, I want to use my nurse aide certificate to gain access to my own "internships." What I mean by that is I will work as a CNA in an institution for free in exchange for watching surguries or helping with phlebotomy or other things that don't require liscences or something. I have been having a hard time finding out who can do what in a hospital and somehow that is scary. Well, in any case, maybe I can use my CNA to gain knowledge as well... "So tell me, can ANYONE just take my blood?" or "Can I read your practice law book?" The other thing I will request is that I wear my uniform. That is because I would just like to use it up.

Third, I'd like to (saying I get this job that offers these great discounts on flights or whatever) go to Arizona and volunteer my time there in an institution as well. I thought it would be useful to help build up a network of people in many areas. Especially where I may go to school. Maybe someone there teaches at the school or knows a prof I will be with and can give me a good recommendation. Any little bit helps. If I find it difficult to get to AZ (probabaly because I can't get the time off) I will try for closer places like Philadelphia or something. I may also apply for real internships, like the one at Bellevue, in the summer. or even during the semesters if I have the space. I'd also like to do some time at real organizations like the Red Cross or Salvation Army (I can play the cello in the street to raise money at Christmas, lol)

Fourth, I'd like to take the independent research classes in psychology. With these classes, you and a prof work together to design a project that would translate into 3 credits. It helps you get accustomed to research and it looks goood for grad school. I thought it would be great to take these classes because I plan to be in a hospital setting and can probably find plenty to research. I already have some ideas I'd like to try. I can try to get funded thru the school, but maybe I can hook up with a grant writer at school to show me how to find some. Maybe I can get money from the MS society or something like that, or, because they are richer, Coke. LOL, Im not sure how coke and psychology go together, but if I can come up with one, maybe they will do it! Well, in any case, these independent research classes look good and give me lots of field experience.

I'm almost out of breath here. My head is starting to hurt. Hopefully, I can think of something better to write about on this blog next time. I can guarentee that I will write about my first day back!


:: Jane Dee 4:47:00 PM [+] ::

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