Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.
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:: Jane Dee 5:15:00 PM [+] ::
Seems there is an agreement on Geologists (and Engineers too... maybe I ought rearrange my list again huh?)
:: Jane Dee 4:15:00 PM [+] ::
ERGH! What is going on here. I don't know. Sometimes, I sit and wonder to myself "You know Jane, you really ought to stop harassing yourself with certain matters. You can't change for people who can't change. And you can't change, so why are you trying to change?" Ugh! these thing roll around inside my head so much... like today... and now I have a headache. Go figure. I was on a roll... no headache for a few weeks (!) and now look. I was supposed to read today, in psychology, can I? Who knows! I don't even think I know what I am saying right now.
My webpage doesn't work right. I don't know about you, but when I try to open the movies or sound files from my page, they never complete. Maybe it's my dial up? Who knows. Then I was reading my anatomy last night and decided to look up salt intake and why I get salt cravings etc, etc. Well I found this site (yeah I think it really is in Lebabnon) and now that I think about it, I think I actually do have hypotension. Here is the funny things I noticed: when I stay off caffiene for a dew days, my pulse rate becomes "normal" at about 60 bpm; When I don't eat my usual salt intake, my BP becomes "normal" at about 110/57 (last reading). I also get intense salt cravings (as I did a few days ago) that make me well, crazy (along the lines of feeling like I'm going to go into spaz out (convulsions) or break the furniture). I actually carry around little packets of salt in my bookbag and the like to remedy this in case I am in public, heheh. I also noticed that when I drink as much coffee as I do (many ounces), my heart rate is usually around 80bpm. The highest ever recorded was 93bpm after drinking my coffee in a hurry and running to class (I actually had to leave the class to burn off the jolting energy or whatever it was running through me otherwise I would have spazzed out in class). I also noticed that when I take naps, I wake up sometimes gasping for air and feeling like my heart is going to rip through my chest. It doesn't necessarily beat faster just very strongly. This had also happened to me in bed after having some sort of nightmare, to which I can't recall... oh right warding of a stabber and running after him... Anyway, I never figured I would have hypotension and that my "cravings" for salt may actually have a meaningful biological basis to me. Usually, the doc tell you to stay away from salt as much as possible. If I went off salt and caffiene for a week (!!) i wonder how my BP and HR would fare. Maybe I'd look like I'm dead... not to mention in dire need of my "drugs." haha
EUREKA! Oh! HAHAH! Have a great idea for a new page... something with the greatest midi's ever? HAHA! Have a sample:
I have noticed I am out of my bad era... So to capture what was my misery, click here.
Shazaam! I can finally sleep a bit! Gooooooooo holidays!
:: Jane Dee 10:57:00 PM [+] ::
Looky here! A break (of sorts).
I made it to Thanksgiving Day break! Whoo hoo! Well, I like breaks just as much as the next guy but for me, these breaks mean "time to make up workl and study extra." Well, it's all good because I'm not one for the whole holiday thing anyway.
On my "To Do" list for this break includes many things ... let's see... anatomy/physiology, statistics, psychology, psychology paper, hmm this seems like too much.
Okay people! I've finally compiled my Holiday Gift List. If anyone wants to get me a birthday/Christmas gift please read here... Then read about what I would like!
Hm okay. Now I am going to sit here and daydream a bit... then maybe I will do some work :P
Hey I got a chance to go to the DMV today!! Well, I'm not really that excited, I'm just kidding. I had to renew my license and apparently, if you make a trip to the office for a renewal, you must take a new picture. Well, for the next eight years, my license will feature my blue hair. I didn't really want to have it that way, but what am I going to do, argue? Well, at keast it didn't take too long. Maybe I can retake the picture at a different time, maybe when my hair is NOT blue.
Well, that didn't work.
I did find out that a girl in my class had found my lab notes and will return then to me on Tuesday. That's good because I was going to bring my computer and scanner to class and scan someone's lab manual for my missing pages. Looks like I won't have to go to such lengths.
So here I sit trying to muster up some initiative to get my papers written. I think I will use online resources to complete my women's health paper. Who cares? Or, I use my own coleection of books... maybe hmm. Well, hopefully I can get that done today as well as the psychology paper. I also have to get started on a webpage for my mother's store. She keeps pestering me. I wish she would have asked to use my digital camera! All I have are regular pictures and now I have to scan all this nonsense. Well that page shouldn't take too long at least. I hope...
Now I have to figure out what sort of women's health issue I want to discuss. Mental Health issues are always my fav. But what would I discuss? Depression is boring. Maybe aromatherapy? HAHAHAHA!!! All I know is that I will NOT be doing breast cancer. Hmm. Maybe I can do it on all the fab jewelry that breast cancer has inspired....?
Ohhhh! Where oh where are my notes?? You know, I really can't understand how I lost my lab notes. Anyway, I have an interesting weekend headed my way. Lots of work, and this time, I have to write papers! I'm trying to type up one now that is due tomorrow (today I mean) but I'm so tired and its taking forever. On my to do list for this weeked includes 1) gathering materials for my research paper due in my women's health class and typing it up and making notes for the oral presentation 2) writing about something for psychology, not to mention reading about morals as the next chapter and the extra chapter we have to read for the optional test that would replace a low grade 3) read and make notes for anatomy class 4) do my (overdue) stats homework
Hey at least I sent out for my CPR certification card. I need that to get into the clinical component of my major. I was thinking that I would also get vaccinated for HepB over my break (also required for my major) and buy my scrubs. Im kind of excited about this winter because I won't have to go to school. All I will do is work and make money and fianlly start saving to move. Yay!! It's getting nearer friends! I can see it now... I am so out of here!!
Another thing I thought I may do... A girl in one of my classes was telling me that she took the 6 week course to become a nurse aide and gets paid decent money... I was thinking that maybe I should do that. Maybe I can work less and get paid more and be able to have a job that in in the field. I will look into it soon. Maybe it'll be great.
I was also hoping that when I do my nurse training in the hospitals, I could do it in a hospital that has a psych ward. I was thinking that I would volunteer my time in the ward as a student nurse? I'm not sure they would let me do it , but I will ceratinly give that a whirl.
Ohh lord look at the time! I better finish this paper!
:: Jane Dee 12:50:00 AM [+] ::
:: 11.18.2003 ::
I have a few things to say:
1) A Poem:
Give him an inch - He will want a foot
Tell him it hurts - He will only hurt you more
The only advantages I have are the ones taken from me
These things do not hurt me - They only sting with familiarity
2) (More) Bad News:
My botched lab test is a measly 88. Not cool.
3) Good News (thankfully)
My physiology test was a whooping 108/112! Now I can crack a smile.
4) Same 'Ol:
Didn't I already say I had a knack for these things? That's right, I did.
:: Jane Dee 4:00:00 PM [+] ::
:: 11.15.2003 ::
Hey hey hey
Guess what came in the mail. An invite to join the New York Academy of Sciences. Why they are asking me to join is beyond me. I don't have a doctorate and I certainly don't contribute anything to the field of mathematics, which is my degree. I wonder if I after I fill in the information, they will look and go "Oh man, we made a mistake in asking her!!" and send me back my money. Hmm. I'll think about it. It would be nice to say in a snooty way "Why yes, I am an active member of the New York Academy of Sciences." I guess it doesn't matter too much... Maybe they still had my name for when I was a representative for my High School in the NYAS Science Expo? Maybe they just need the money? Who knows. Maybe they heard about my proposed research on allergies.
In other wonderful news... oh wait, I don't have any wonderful news yet.
Okay, I'll get back to you when I do.
:: Jane Dee 5:42:00 PM [+] ::
Anyhoo, I am definately going to change the format of Planet Bizarro. Think less ghosts and more technical mumbo jumbo. I think what I would like to accomplish is a page where I can focus on the psychology I am learning and its application to the bizarre things in my life. Yes, the truth should come out. Well, stay tuned for that!
:: Jane Dee 6:58:00 PM [+] ::
:: 11.13.2003 ::
The unthinkable has happened today!
Okay, look, I'm trying to find humour in something that has made me pretty angry today. I actually botched my anatomy test today. The prof asked us to give the volumes of respiration... and I think "Oh he must mean the actual volumes", i.e, 500ml etc. So I go and put down all the numbers... later on, well not much later on, I realize he just wanted us to put down the NAMES of the volumes (tidal volume, etc). That was a whole section wasted. THEN I go and mess up on diabetes insipidus and mellitus! MORE POINTS OFF! I don't think I scored more than an 85, and I am being generous here. He does drop the lowest grade, but what happens if I needed that drop on one of the remaining tests? Then what? My A+ goes down the drain and all my hard work will be for naught.
In better news, that same prof gave us back the first part of our latest physiology test. I did well, scoring a 40/42 on that part. (Okay, I'm smiling a bit here).
Don't think I'm crazy... I failed plenty of times in my life.. I'm just sick of it. I want to do the best I can now and these setbacks make me feel so useless.
I guess every genius has his off day...
:: Jane Dee 5:26:00 PM [+] ::
:: 11.12.2003 ::
And that is all I have to say about that... stupid crap. I would be better off as I was... maybe.
:: Jane Dee 10:51:00 PM [+] ::
Well, I don't know if I just know what I'm doing or if that test was deceivingly easy... Well, lets hope it's because I know what I'm doing. I really thought I was going to do horribly but as far as I know, it wasn't too bad.
Curiosity has lead me to find that I am actually a large framed gal seing that my height is about 5'2" and my wrist circumference is about 6.5" and my elbows width is a bit more than 2.5". I think that is pretty cool. I get to weigh more!
I was asked about what is given to someone who is bitten by a snake, antivenom or antidote, etc. Interestingly enough, we discussed antivenom a couple of days ago and lo and behold, it was on today's physiology exam: "... antivenom is really: Gammaglobulins" I was trying to find the structure of snake venom, but I found this instead.
Anitdotes, I gather, are things (not antibodies) given to someone to neutralize or render harmless stuff that would otherwise be deleterious to the body. Such as seen here. I guess sometimes antidote is used for antivenom. Maybe antidote is a more general term.
Also on my test was a question about Tom Dolittle (?) and how he died when he was hung... I put anoxic anoxia.... maybe it was stagnant anoxia? hmm. I thought choking was anoxic hypoxia but that wasn't a choice. We'll see...
:: Jane Dee 7:39:00 PM [+] ::
I also got my invite to take the Pre NLN, wooo hoo!
Today seemed okay. I got my stats test back it was 104. Good. Now I have an average over 100. A+ anyone? Tonight doesn't look good though. I think I'm going to stay up till 4am (yet again) to try and finsih up my anatomy work. I have a test on Wednesday and Thursday in that class. Thursday's test doesn't look easy either. We have to perform urinalysis on fake urine (tea) and explain all the methods to arriving at your answer. Blehhh! I don't want to memorize anything anymore. Sigh.
I can't wait for this semester to be over. Right now I have two tests this week, a paper in anatomy next week, a psychology paper, and a women's health issue paper. WAAA! When this semester is over, Im taking a week off before I go to work. I need my mind to reset completely! It's done so much this year and has gone through so much, it deserves it.
I guess I should get started on my anatomy work. I'll blog anything interesting along the way.
Oh by the way... I know I haven't been keeping up with my webpage, but I promise all will be updated when school is out. I have a new essay waiting and a few other things. I also plan to get new pictures in. I'll keep you updated!
You know, I try to do something nice over the weekend by seeing a friend, but it always gets ruined by coming home. Why this time you ask? Well, my neighbors are extending their house and they had to cut the phone wires so they could be rearranged. Well, the ding-dong who cut our wires put them back... to the worng lines! What I mean is that we have over 8 phone lines in our home and everyone has a different line now... of course, I have to win the jackpot and have to have my line connected to the one line that was disconnected.... this is an outrage!
In any event, I had a nice time with Lou (heheh) as we talked about stuff (heheheh) and watched Pumaman, hosted by MST3K!! Laff Riot! Anyway, I hope I can finish up with my anatomy here.... I may have to stay up all night to finish ohhhhh :(
:: Jane Dee 9:10:00 PM [+] ::
:: 11.07.2003 ::
A fridge? A watch? A bag? An umbrella?
Yes its true. Im going to get a fridge in my room. This has gone on long enough.
Tomorrow looks like another fun-filled day of filling my finger joints with lactic acid. I have much studying to do and will wake up mighty early in an attempt to finish at least the anatomy part. All I do is write notes and I write so much that the joints in my finger start to burn. Sigh. I hope I can get all the notes done tomorrow because I'm visiting Lou from Lou's Universe tomorrow (well today actually just much later). I hope it will be fun.
Monday should be an interesting day. I am supposed to get back my statistics test... i dont think I got a 100 this time. Hm we'll see. I don't think I got lower than a 94. heheheh.
I am at a loss for words these days only because I'm scared the truth may come out.
That would be funny if I had a sense of humour right now. But I don't.
In fact, I think I'm pretty agitated. I think I'm angry. No. I AM angry. I am very angry.
All of this anger is making me want to put it somewhere... where.... Perhaps I shall change the theme of Planet Bizarro and make it reflect exactly what I am experiencing. We'll see.
Now I shall try to study...
:: Jane Dee 7:27:00 PM [+] ::
:: 11.02.2003 ::
Another day to complain
I went to study at the library (again) today. It was nice to have the sun shining on me even though I wasn't too excited to study anatomy. I was kind of blah actually. I was sitting there listening to my familiar collection of tunes that can make me feel more or less blah. I did notice that I was fowarding to all the more blah inducing tracks... you know, slow, kind of sad, melencholic if you must... and I sat there gazing out the window as the music played. It felt reminiscent of the spring semester when I would go to the library everyday (yes, everyday) and study as hard as I could to try to rid my self of all the pain I felt from all that had happened to me. I know I usually don't blog about this personal stuff, but I felt it nessecary today.
I know I have come a long way since a year ago... October 2002 will always be the time I will remember as "The Time of Collapse", which happens to be the last phase of a strange series of events that took place in my life. The new life started when I got the job at the Kosher Mart. That is when I finally started to reconstruct. Today I realized just how far I have come since last October, and I can say that had to be the most painful time in my whole life. Even more painful than my breakup. That was the time I had lost everything and felt its existence. That was when I realized just how alone and abandoned I really was and realized just how wrong everything was.
I gave myself another chance even though I felt as worthless as shit. I know my self-esteem had been lower at some previous point in time, but this came close. Completely changing my major and going back to a school I was to have supposed to have left didn't make the matter any better. Only until I realized how well I was doing in Microbiology (not to mention that I took a heavy load (15 credits) to prove I wasn't stupid and worked at the kosher mart to crazy hours of the night) along with everything else did I start to feel better. I was grateful that I such a great professor.
Only until the summer when I started to take anotomy did I realize I could get my life back. When I did so well in that class (not to mention learned how to really swim) did I get this surge of confidence. I suddenly felt the blood flowing.
This semester seems to be the culmination of yet another phase which has proved to be very beneficial to me. This is because I actually started to get into psychology and that class (!!) opened a pandoras box of issues. This semester has been so difficult only because I had to "relive" the pain of childhood memories that I wished to keep repressed. However, my brain does what it wants and decided to let me view an assortment of flashbacks which would haunt me up to ten times a day. I was able to overcome them by truely believing that they happened and that I knew who I am and I knew who they were and I wasn't fooling anyone by denying anything anymore. Waves of life came over me and I feel more and more powerful each day. I don't have the same attitude I once did.
I don't know what is in store for me next. I'm hoping this is the end of this phase and that next year holds great promise... promise that I can have faith in.
Now I have homework to do.
:: Jane Dee 2:06:00 PM [+] ::
:: 11.01.2003 ::
I just have this knack I guess.
It's either my profound fear of emitting foul body odor is true or I just know how to pick them. Maybe it's a mixture of both. Maybe I just need new deodorant? Maybe I should just listen to myself next time and forget the whole thing all together.
Yeah that's the answer.
:: Jane Dee 8:33:00 PM [+] ::