:: The Headache Diaries ::

:: The Headache Diaries ::


Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. I also like to log other things such as people, places, and things that I don't like, as well as people, places, and things that I do like.

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:: 5.31.2003 ::

Oh lordy

Hey looky at what I found! it's the homepage for ScanTron... remember scantron? Those stupid little green and white multiple choice tests with those oh-so-annoying-to-fill-in rectangular bubbles. Well, they finally got more advanced then they already were (snicker).

:: Jane Dee 7:57:00 PM [+] ::
...
I hate to study at home!

I wish I was able to stay at the library today. Darn. Well, at least I had a chance to see the new UL homepage. Check it out! And when you go, go to the music bar above the spinning globe and go to the song "rest of my life." Now, I already love that song ( i think it's my new favorite) and this new version makes my guts spin. I have to know where to find it so I hope the webmaster gets back to me. I also recommend you listen to the demo version of "Up all night" to hear the old lyrics (who is Ismaiel and what isn't fair?). You can find that under the media icon.

Well, back to learning my Herpes... HSV-1, HSV-2...

:: Jane Dee 6:09:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.28.2003 ::
By the way...

I have a headache. Again. Now I'm worried. I've had a headache for almost a month now... do I have meningitis or a tumor or something? I would go get an MRI, but I don't think my shitty insurance covers such elaborate preventative measures. Decisions decisions. I would also have to say that I don't think I'd LIKE a spinal tap. Shudder to think... What do I do?

:: Jane Dee 1:31:00 PM [+] ::
...
Little Clumps of Shit I Bestow Upon You Oh Great One

Again with the smell of P. vulgaris?

Anyway, I am currently in the library and had to take a break to tell you that I actually learned something while I was sleeping! I learned that I shouldn't fall asleep too often 1) because I am more likely to pass gas and arouse the adjacent students 2) I may have funny dreams and will laugh in the quiet library. Good thing I woke myself up from that! Apparently I was throwing an eraser at someone and he said something funny. Well, at least I can say I laugh a lot.

So guess what happened now? I have been selected for jury duty. Now in the usual circumstance I would say "Okay why not?" However, there is a slight conflict with this act of citizenship and my schedule of finals! It's on the same day I have my general science final (okay everyone around me either smells like P. vulgaris or stinky leftover cigarettes). Thankfully, my prof is a nice guy and has offered to give it to me beforehand so I don't have to take an incomplete. As for this case, I will ask the lawyer if I can have the guy's address so I can write him a scathing letter about how his action has ruined my life not just your victim's so I hope your smiling wide in jail buddy. Well, that may get me knocked off the jury. Well, on second thought, that may be a really good idea.


:: Jane Dee 1:27:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.27.2003 ::
WOW!

Three whole days without a post? yeah, it's all the studying for all the damn tests these last few weeks. Today I had two back to back. Why of course I did extremely well, is there another way for me? Well, in any event, I am still in the library trying to organize my notes for micro and boy do I need to know alooooot!! Shite! My head hurts. Hopefully I can arrange them in a nice way that gets burned in my mind. I also have to get my urinalysis down for thursday. Whew. I'm tired. I should go home.

In other news... oh. Yeah there isn't any other news. My life has been pretty mundane lately. Well, my ears are burning. Maybe someone is talking about me? Who knows. Ow my head. Okay, I'm going home.


:: Jane Dee 3:56:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.24.2003 ::
Four Leaf Clover Jackpot

Every spring I try to go out and find some four leafed clovers and add them to my somewhat extensive collection. Currently I have five four leafed clovers. I had six, but I gave one to somone. Okay so today, I am walking to the car and I say "oh let me just check." so I go to one bunch of clovers, nothing. I hop from bunch to bunch until I am standing not too far from the car when I spot one! I say "Oh cool, there must be another one." because they usually grow in groups. Well, I found another. And another. And another. They just kept coming! I found the one mutated bunch that had all these four leafed clovers. How many you ask? Oh, like SEVENTEEN. Yes, I found seventeen four leafed clovers all together in the same spot, just waiting for me to get them. So here I am thinking about what this could mean. My guess is that I got really lucky today or I'm going to need all these damn clovers for something. Like I'll have a real bad luck spell and I'll have to break out the collection.

On the same topic, I think geneticists should find the gene that makes these clovers become four leafed. I guess you could market the altered clover, but that wouldn't be as lucky as finding them yourself, now would it? No, and it wouldn't be as natural either.

Well, if you are in the mood for clover hunting, here are some tips:

The biggest four leafed clovers are the ones with a round edge and a whitish streak in the leaves
The best bunches to look in are the ones with the whitish streak. The pure green rounded edge clovers are poor mutaters.
Heart-shaped leaves are not as hard to find as the round edged, but they mutate at a greater rate than the rounded ones. However, finding a bunch of these heart-shaped clovers is hard. I have seen them as rouges in a round leafed bunch though.
I have never seen a spade edged four leaf clover, even with the streak.
Short, creeping, bunches will yield a greater percentage of five, six or seven (!) leafed clovers. These have probably been poisened by something. Probably dog pee. However, I have found severely mutated four leafers in this mix (crinkled edges, overlapping leaves, asymmmetrical leaf size). If you don't care if it's damaged, you can find a lot of four leafers in these bunches.
**The best looking clovers I have seen were on the newly renovated shore parkway bike path. Here they are left undisturbed and not peed or trampled on constantly. They are enormous around this time and the four leafers are quite easy to spot. However, the variety here is limited, mostly the dark green round edged with the whitish streak. But hey, a four leaf clover is a four leaf clover huh?

Train for the hunt here.


:: Jane Dee 3:16:00 PM [+] ::
...
And so it goes on

Being sick that is. At least today I got to use my friend's car to come to school and go home. I am currently in the library and head not all here. We got out early so that gives me more time to study. Study, study study. That should be my middle name. Miss Jane Study. Hey not bad huh?

In other news, I am not to thrilled with my drawing grade. My friend also took a drawing class this semester, and I would have to say that I draw better than her. However, I am stuck with a "B+" (which is a "B" because my school doesn't do plus/minus) and in her school she got an A-. This is an injustice. But whatever. What am I going to do? Sue him? No, but at least this will be my only B. All my other classes will surely be A's. Unless of course I get that "when should a B be an A?" dilemma. To which I answered "When it's an 89 dammit!" Well, I guess we can't win them all.

So today I think I will go and get my hair dye stuff and then bleach out my hair to prepare it for summer. This time, I plan to have blonde (not white, but with yellow hues because I am not that light and I do plan to get tanned. I think it is so gross when someone is really tanned but has ultra blonde hair. Eww!) with pink streaks... and then I will let my sister weave in some aqua braids and whatnot. She has been dying to do it and I was just too busy. well, I hope it looks good!

I guess I feel better than I did yesterday.. Not health wise, but emotionally. I figure you can't change people for anything and I just have to grin and bear it. I hope that someday, somehow, I don't come in contact with too many jerks.

I'm still on the search for graduate schools and I am not sure if I want to go to the University of Pittsburg although I am really fond of Pennslyvania. I don't want to go to Cali and I am not sure if I'd be to happy in Arkansas. I mean what would I do all day? Well, maybe I'd go. I bet I'd get a lot of writing done!

So now that my first semester in a totally strange and foreign field of academia is almost over, I'd have to say that I really like it. I should also mention that I wish I had done this sooner. I think I would make a great nurse and I think I can contribute a lot to the field. I still really want to teach and I hope that I can do all that I want to do:

1) Go to the USAF and practice nursing there. I hope to be in the mental health sector.
2) Hopefully be able to go to school while working and obtain my baccalaureate
3) Continue working as a nurse but start my research and training in an academic setting either in the public school system for mathematics or for the college level
4) Hope that my ideas for research are in track with the psychological nursing degree
5) go to grad school and obtain my masters
6) Decide if I should continue in the USAF and then go on to get my PhD
7) Obtain a position for professor at KCC
8) Work as a nurse wherever it may be
9) Continue to study public education systems for mathematics (so what if they hate me I can do reserach can't I???)
10) live a long and happy life

Oh yeah and I will also try to throw in husband/love yadda yadda. However, I do plan to have children, married or not, by age 30. New desicion, yeah so? Any hot guys wanna offer a donation? hahahaha! I'll keep you guys posted!

Okay, back to studying diseases, organic chemistry, how to help a poisoned child, and any random biological thing I pass and feel like reading in that "concise" encyclopedia over here. More updates later.


:: Jane Dee 8:21:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: 5.23.2003 ::
That is it

I have so had it with the world. I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. Everywhere I go, everything I do. I can't be in peace. It's like I have this ghoul standing next to me provoking all these stupids things to happen. Don't ask. I don't want to talk about anything.

However, let it be known that from this day on... oh forget it. It's not like anyone reading this is actually going to care. It's not like anyone has ever cared in the first place. It certainly doesn't look like anyone will ever care in the future either. As I sit here and take very deep breaths, I just hope that my blood pressure goes down and I can relax or something.

In the meantime, you can look at something cute. I would phrase this better, but my mood will not allow.
I would also like to draw you attention to this. I bring it up because it's funny and has a tendency to lift my spirits.

:: Jane Dee 3:56:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.22.2003 ::
Me the Patriot

Check out my bracelet! I made it out of safety pins and beads and stretchy string. Neat huh?



(PS, I got the idea from Oriental Trading Company)

:: Jane Dee 7:39:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.20.2003 ::
YAWN!

Gee, my "love" life isn't very vibrant these days. I say to myself "I really ought to flirt more" because there are some nice looking smarter guys in a couple of classes of mine. Note the use of the term "Nice looking"; they aren't HOT. I haven't had my socks knocked off in, well, a while.. let me see... no.. no.. definately not.. eh.. no.. lord no.. I was hoping for better.. and no. What the hell! Where are all the cute, smart guys? You would think they are in the physics classes but it doesn't turn out that way. Every physics class I was in had like, well, just guys. Or a crew of Asian and Middle Eastern guys. I ran out of options here! I should take a geology course. Geologists are cool. I'd like one of those. And he would be a spelunker in the summer and I would follow him. Or maybe we would buy a dinghy and cruise around the boroughs while I take pictures of the shoreline. And catch some fish? (no I wouldn't eat them that is so gross) Maybe.

Any hot geologists out there???

:: Jane Dee 9:47:00 PM [+] ::
...
Back at home

I realize that I actually got a sunburn from sitting out in the sun! I can't believe it. I am thrilled.

So today I was dreaming about a new color. I would call it "golden blue." It is the color of the sky near sunset when most of the sky above it is that nice dark blue color. The sky was awesome tonight. When I get inspired by the sky, I usually get this feeling of "grabbing" something. I can't explain it but it can be a feeling similar to wanting/needing to "jump" but can't. It's that urge sensation. Well, maybe it's because I feel like grabbing the sky for myself or something. Who knows.


:: Jane Dee 7:51:00 PM [+] ::
...
Wait before I go!

Today was nice and sunny and I was so happy sitting outside in the sun. However I have been keeping track of the smog levels and today was no better than yesterday. Sigh. It seems to get the worst after 10:30, but really kicks in by noon. I have some really interesting smog pictures here, here, and here from last year.

Despite the smog, I was very happy. I was listening to music in the sun reading about Durham tubes and was remembering how much fun I had on my Observatory Tour in the summer of 2001. It was just like today, but hotter and no smog. I wanna go again! I need $$. Oh yeah and a car would help too :P

Maybe I'll post the page up even though it's old? We'll see.

:: Jane Dee 3:51:00 PM [+] ::
...
Off to study

Argh! I have to stop! The library closes soon and I need to get my notes together...

:: Jane Dee 3:43:00 PM [+] ::
...
Everything I need to know (about myself) I learned in kindergarden

Yes! It's true. I was daydreaming in psych class and I remembered an incident that manifested just who I am and how I behave:

Our teacher was out (for the millionth time) and we had this crazy looking substitute. I think we were learning about numbers or we were just talking amongst ourselves when all of a sudden, the teacher screams. We are all like "what happened?" and she yells "MOUSE!" and leaps up on the table! Not only that, her reaction made all the girls in the class scream and jump on the tables. I was still sitting there asking "what is going on????" One boy sitting next to me says "She saw a mouse." I said "where did it go?" and another kid (I think) responded with "under the sink." So I remained seated (with the rest of the boys who, as we all know, are not allowed to be scared of mice) and this stupid girl who I didn't like says to me "Aren't you scared you'll get bitten?" I said "It went under the sink" She says "what if it comes back out?" I said "I'm wearing shoes." She said something else and I responded in the same way and she huffed at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and said "Well, the boys are sitting!" She didn't answer. Interestingly enough, the teacher said (amid all this "chaos") that anyone who wants to sit on the table can stay there. I guess that meant that all of you who are scared for no reason can let everyone know that you are by sitting on the table. Not only that, we had to wait until a man came to "check out" the classroom and reassure us that the mouse was gone. I think it took about an hour for everyone to finally sit down and continue with what we were doing. (note: this can be a great analysis on the development of femininity and masculinity)

What does all this mean? I don't know, but I can say that my ungirlishness was evident long before I knew anything about the sexes. I think I can say that I had pretty good logic skills at that time too. My arguments of wearing shoes really astounded me today. Well, maybe it was because I didn't want to be like all those stupid girls in the class anyway. No one ever made any sense.

I have a lot of kindergarden memories. I don't know why they are so vivid, but they are. I can trace a lot of my behavior all the way back then. It really is amazing. Let's look at another example (bear with me):

My teacher and I did not get along too well. She didn't like me, I didn't like her. The rest of the kids knew that and would get me in trouble any opportunity they could (This is besides the point). My teacher had a tendency to be absent (as did I, I think I missed half of the year unless it was her lack of attention to which I have proof, buut that is another story) and one time she was out, the sub informed us that it was because she was sick. The sub then told us we should all make cards for her to show her how much we miss her (!) and how much we care (!!). I was outraged. That witch would yell at me left and right, accuse me of things I never did, embarass me in front of the class constantly, and I was supposed to make her a CARD?? HA! Well, I made a card allright... then ripped it up. When the sub said where is your card I said I didn't make one. You should have seen the look on her face! She questioned me as to why and I simply said because I didn't want to. Of course I got a nasty look, but I couldn't wait to see the look on my teacher's face when she saw I didn't make one. She said this upon return "I'd like to thank all those who made me a card. Some didn't, but those who did one were nice." Jane 1 - Teacher 0.

Maybe I will continue these Kindergarden Posts as a thread. Next time, I will tell you about Micheal, the first kid I punched. (snicker)

:: Jane Dee 3:38:00 PM [+] ::
...
Updatin' from the library again

My psych class just let out and I got a perfect score on the last test. Not only that, he curved it TEN POINTS! So that means I got a 110! Whoo!

As an aside, I'd have to say that people really have to stop using guilt tactics on the prof because they failed. See, if I can get a perfect score, his teaching is not flawed. Besides the class average went up. This time around it was a 63.

:: Jane Dee 3:14:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.19.2003 ::
So now I am off to do many things

a) study a million things for my clinical unknown test this week as well as the lab practical next week.
b) Read about the different disciplines of nursing that I would consider studying. I think I want to take up psychiatric nursing, but mental patients aren't the most desired bunch and don't really get a lot of funding. But I sure do like learning about mental illnesses and diseases of the brain. That is probably why I like the cryptococcus yeast. (eeewwww!)
c) finals are right around the corner and I hope I can push myself to study for the general science crap. It's just SO boring (no offense to you Prof. Gilles)
d) Why oh why can't I just get the registration done? Sheeeeeeeesh! Ever since my PalmPilot went off the deep end, my life has been a mess! EERRGGHH!
e) I never did put rhinestones on my labcoat. (okay I will! I will!)
f) don't know if I should register for "skills in arts and crafts" class so I can have a chance to get on the dean's list for Fall 2003. However, that will limit my opportunity to visit the lab in the morning hours in the fall. Do you think loading up on arts and crafts will make the semester difficult?

more organizing is necssecary, but now I am behind my studies, I better go!

:: Jane Dee 5:52:00 PM [+] ::
...
Headache Free!

I can reasonably conclude that my headache is GONE! Finally! Now I can study in peace.

:: Jane Dee 5:01:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.18.2003 ::
The beauty of my MicroB lab

So my most recent venture in the microB lab world gave me a 95 on my latest test! Who knew that I would remember that E.coli is an undulate shape on nutrient agar? Well, better for me.

Well, now I must go back to study. I need another 95 on my next test for clinical unknowns.

:: Jane Dee 9:44:00 AM [+] ::
...
The BBC comes to Brooklyn!

A director for a show on the BBC (yes, in England) crossed the pond to come to OUR STORE to get a spell so this scottish guy can catch a fish. Camera crews came and everything, even the fisherman! Well, if it airs, I will post the website. Till, then I have something to giggle about. ["hee hee, the BBC spent all that money to get a fish spell..."]

:: Jane Dee 9:42:00 AM [+] ::
...
Studying is always more fun than you

Hey look at me updating from my library! Anyway, I have some very interesting news, but before that, I'd like to say how wonderful life is. After reading my depressing sociology book and learning just how low status I am at this point in life, I'd have to say that even though I may raise my status to levels not known to me, I will never behave that way. Yes, I remain true to whatever it is I hold dear. Now, I have to stop reading that book.

:: Jane Dee 9:40:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: 5.16.2003 ::
To make life a bit more bitter

Check out Despair, Inc. This one is one of my favorites. Check them out!

:: Jane Dee 7:04:00 PM [+] ::
...
Still dreamin'...

Of that special someone who is going to be so hot and smart and all that good stuff... Yeah, yeah yuk it up. I'll find him eventually!

:: Jane Dee 6:58:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.14.2003 ::
Don't you just love search engines?

So I am searching for tryptophan, part of the reaction of the indole test. This test is based on the fact that some bacteria can grow in trptophan broth and break it down into indole, ammonia, and pyruvic acid. After you incubate the tube, you then add Kovac's reagent (which is really smelly, phew!) which then makes a nice pink band at the top of the broth in reaction to indole produced or doesn't do a thing and the broth remains yellow. This is the definitive test for the presence of E.coli (which turns pink). [by the way, my clinical unknown did not turn pink and I had to use the motility test to confirm I had Enterobacter aerogenes. Phooey.]

Anyway, the point was that as I was searching for tryptophan, I came across these lyrics which led me to this band called The Exies, who apparently played on David Letterman? I dunno, but I thought the Ego song was funny. Well, I guess you can take a look at the Jukebox they have. The flash programming is nice, the music is just "eh". I do hear some remnants of Bad Religion and maybe Pond or Pollen, but that is all I can say about that.

:: Jane Dee 7:25:00 PM [+] ::
...
Im still hungry!

And I have to type up my clinical unknown. Poo. I have to wake up so early tomorrow for lab. Waaaa! I have to type up the report and I hope I can at least do most of the sociology report. Blech. I can't wait until this semester is so over. then I can get tanned in the sun (if it ever decides to come back) and ride my bike all summer and eat sandwiches by the sea and fight off men looking at my ass as I ride my bike. Not to mention hang out in micro lab all day and swim at school. Ooh! I'm drooling already!

Okay, okay, let me type up the damn report!

:: Jane Dee 6:20:00 PM [+] ::
...
Ow! More sweat than I thought!

So I rode the newly renovated Shore Parkway Bike Trail and tabbed about 26.8 miles. Well, needless to say, my legs hurt. I haven't rode further than school since last summer. Well, it's ok. So I was thinking that I should only do the 30 mile route because I know I can do that in the time frame even if it's raining and windy. Maybe I'll try for the 60 mile route next year. That isn't so bad right? Well, I hope I can walk tomorrow! I have lab and that means standing for three hours. Sigh.

Since we are on the topic of the new bike trail, I noticed a few things. The trail is not complete and the rider is subjected to riding dangerously close to the cars on the Belt Parkway WITHOUT a guardrail. This is true on the dangerous drawbridge which also features potholes and a "repaired" part of the bridge with wooden planks. It is also true on another overpass which is distracting due to the awful smell. Along the path, the rider can see such views as "DANGER! Hazardous wastes. Do not enter." by the large hills of sand or whatnot. You also get an exquisite view of the new, annoyingly bright at night, mall which feature such stores as Home Depot and Staples. You can see the Manhattan skyline in the distance, which makes it somewhat nice. The trail ends at Cross Bay Boulevard, where I rode to the drugstore and got me a Pria bar (vanilla crisp is so delicious). Then rode back passing the Canarsie Pier again. I had a nice time riding along Emmons Avenue and Ocean Parkway, where men were checking out my ass. The most hilarious had to be the guy in the truck who dropped his sandwich while staring at me. The saddest one was this guy in a car staring at my crotch. I just flashed him a "And that's the most you're going to get" look. The guy at the bike shop was flirting with me as he installed my odometer (which is called a computer ooh la la). So I guess I had a fun-filled day given that I was cyclin' instead of ringing up gifilte fish. I do miss the place though. And I am REALLY hungry.

:: Jane Dee 4:36:00 PM [+] ::
...
:: 5.13.2003 ::
On with the tour!

So I want to enter this year's MS Bike Tour. I will train to do the sixty mile trail. It'll be no sweat! Well, maybe a little sweat. Now that the Shore Parkway path is open, I can have almost 17 miles of trail to train on! YAY! Let's see, If I can do the trail four times... that would make it more than 60 not to mention the trip home adds another 6 or so. Hmm. Oh I can't wait! I'm starting next week. I need to go to the bike shop and get me an odometer and a helmet for the tour. I am also going to contact the office of student life and see if I can get them to help me raise money while I represent KCC! Ooh, me likey.

:: Jane Dee 7:15:00 PM [+] ::
...
By the way

That headache I was talking about before lasted all day and I was so dizzy and just blah. I chomped on so much excedrin and it didn't even work. It finally went away, but I don't trust it. I know it will come back. Well, we'll see tomorrow.

Oh shoo, I have to pick up my paycheck from work. I wonder how they are doing without me. Hmm. I'm sure they are fine.

:: Jane Dee 6:20:00 PM [+] ::
...
On a lighter note

HE SAID YES! I get to stay in the MicroBio Lab this summer!! YAY!

I am so pleased with my performance in Microbiology. My prof is the best. He always tells me how good I'm doing and how smart he thinks I am. I want to teach just like him. I monitor how he acts very closely. I wonder if he knows how much power he has given me. I'm not lying. When I went into this nursing program I was so depressed. I thought I was the stupidest thing on the planet after what happened with the math thing. But when I started going to lab and doing the work and was so good at it, I was getting happy. Then, he actually said how good I was doing and how I improved and everything else. I was elated. For the first time, I felt proud of myself. I felt secure and joyful that finally, someone noticed me. I'm so happy I can cry. So that is why I wanted to stay in the Lab. That class is my source of happiness, I can't let go. And because he is very special, I want to get him a present, but I'm not sure what. I will think of something though. He shall not go unrewarded.

:: Jane Dee 6:17:00 PM [+] ::
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Miffed

Okay, can someone tell me why the fattest person always has to sit next to ME on the bus? Can someone also tell me why people have to eat RAW ONIONS AND LEMON WEDGES WITH RED SAUCE on the bus?? Is this sane?

Okay, I also have another intersting bus story. See, after school I take the bus and I sometimes bump into this fat guy with long hair. So the last few times, he had gotten off at some stop at the bus. Yesterday, he gets off at my stop and took the train, following me to my train cart. he even got off the same stop as me. Okay i swear I know he was following me. Does he want his ass kicked or something? Well, he got lucky because I saw my friends and had a chat. He just walked off. What a weirdo. I have my eye on him. He better watch it or else...



:: Jane Dee 6:06:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.12.2003 ::
And now I can go to sleep

I have eaten some chocolate coins and put my worries aside. So who cares if I am undesireable? Who cares if I am caught up in all my problems. Pfft! Not me!

:: Jane Dee 9:01:00 PM [+] ::
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Let me direct your attention to

A new addition, and consequently, a great way to express emotion!

:: Jane Dee 7:40:00 PM [+] ::
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...But if you plan to break my heart, please be gentle

Words. Just words. They mean so much to me.

As I plan to recline here and wait for sweet slumber to overcome me, I will wait. I will hope that truth is besides me always and that my dreams are not thought in vain. That each day I live is another chance, another opportunity to fulfill all that I desire. My time has come. I feel the reckoning upon me. It is soon that my mind will open and all I thought will be known. It will be without the man or the enemy. It will be with the blood and tears of my life. Now I can put it upon me to take as I make it true.

No matter where I am, it will become. And I will take it.

:: Jane Dee 7:07:00 PM [+] ::
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On my article for class

I was going to talk about gay sex sites and relate it to sociology, but, well, I think my math education site would be a bit more tasteful.

Now I must contemplate and make a fool of myself! Yay me!

:: Jane Dee 5:08:00 PM [+] ::
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OW HEADACHE!

OW! My head hurts (surprise surprise). Yeah I had to come home from school! Ooh! It's getting worse as I type. Darn.

:: Jane Dee 3:56:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.11.2003 ::
Chip 'n Choke

What good is beauty if you must prove your intelligence? Ha. If I was ugly, everyone would believe I am smart. The sad reality is that everyday I must "prove" myself to others who say "Pffft! She can't be smart, look at her!" Whether it be because of my hair, my clothes, my "attitude", my beliefs, my face, my body, my whatever... !... it doesn't matter. How many agonizing days have I spent over why I was put down so many times for reasons I cannot understand? Too many. How many tears have I shed from the pain inflicted from people simply by what they have said to me? Or the way they treated me? Too many. I just don't understand why I am always subjected to this specific kind of torture.

This is specifically why I quit math. Every semester was a new conflict. Why did every prof want to see me drop? Why did they always scoff when I told them what I wanted to do with math? Why did they encourage me to "leave the class" and "do something else" or "seriously consider other options" or "take a good look at what I am doing". If I did get any sort of higher degree, would the math community believe I did it on my own? Or would they think I got it through giving good head? I'm sure it's the latter. I have never been more humilitated than through the pursuit of my math degree.

Interestingly enough, I am currently a nursing student. What sort of responses do I receive? "You should be doing science or math." or "Your mind is bigger than nursing." What the hell! I can't win. Seems everyone is so busy giving me advice to look at who I am as a person. No one gives a damn about that part. I think everyone just wants to add something negative. That has to be it.

It's okay, my secret plan is waiting to unfold. As I said before, there will come a day where all this will not matter because I will be at the apex. I just have to build up my army. You wait and see. It is destined.

:: Jane Dee 1:54:00 PM [+] ::
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More outrageousness

I cannot believe this, but the US Treasury is going to issue an new $20 bill. This new bill will be unveiled on Tuesday and will feature a NEW COLOR. This bill will be circulating in the fall.

Great now American money is going to look like fruity European money. I'm telling you, everything is just going downhill.

:: Jane Dee 6:01:00 AM [+] ::
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A message to Lou

As stated before, I should be sucked into some black hole where I can become what has been my fate anyway.

Oh wait, should I not mention black holes because I do not know the fudgeamological constant? Bad Jane!

Lou, if you read this, I will be in school today trying to divert attention away from my inabilities and shortcoming by pretending I know something. Yes, it's construction time again.

I will call you later.

:: Jane Dee 5:58:00 AM [+] ::
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:: 5.10.2003 ::
Somewhere out there...

Only if I am lucky. So far, my collection of four leaf clovers is all for naught. I guess I am as stupid as everyone says. But I should look on the bright side. Yes, somewhere out there is a dark corner waiting to engulf me and all that I take up.

Whatever.

Good night.

:: Jane Dee 8:33:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.08.2003 ::
How to scare a nursing student

With a slug, that's how! Just point a slug right at them and they will not be too happy.

Now I know they are pests, and they scared me out of my skin when I first saw one, but you have to admit they are kind of cute. Earthworms are quite charming as well.

:: Jane Dee 5:52:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.07.2003 ::
OOH OOH!

OMG, did you see the latest facepaint? Well you should! Click NOW what are you waiting for??

Going into nursing was the best change I have ever done in my life! Thank you God!!!!!!!!!!!

:: Jane Dee 6:00:00 PM [+] ::
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Wow, what a lazy day!

Damn! I took the day off again and my life seems to be going slower! Suddenly it's only 9pm! My God! I love it! So if I quit now, I can see the eclipse?! Hmmm. I think I need a nother day off to think about it, hehehe.

:: Jane Dee 5:58:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.06.2003 ::
More sites of pain

Now that the severe pain has took a nap, I can type a bit more efficiently. The pain is now added in my left cheeckbone. It's still cramping my neck and there is still pain in my head.

:: Jane Dee 8:19:00 PM [+] ::
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Let me beat you to the joke

Since my headache is so bad, I can say I have an OMEGA MIGRAINE

Oh come on! It's funny to all us nerds.

:: Jane Dee 8:00:00 PM [+] ::
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Ok, I'm back

So I think I am going to quit my job. I like it and all, but I get nothing out of it. I wish I still had a tutoring job. I would say I'd like to have my old teaching job back, but I think the hours would kill me given how far it is (175th Street in Manhattan). And the kids were kinda "eh". So I was trying to see what kind of jobs are out there for 'lil ol math tutors like me. Apparently the need has died down! My, my. Well, I can't say much, I said that I would never teach math again. Fat chance. That would be kind of hard given that I want to teach. Oh whatever. Tomorrow I ask my prof if he is teaching the summer microBio course and if I can be his assistant in the lab. I think that would be a nice addition to my list. Oh and I am not going to work tomorrow either. I should have called them today but my head hurt too much. I couldn't even study. I just keep rubbing and rubbing my head - I'm going to get a sore spot. Well, I hope I can sleep.

Now I have to calculate how I will use my savings to live if I do decide to leave my job. No, wait that is too much thinking. My head hurts. Ach. I'll just think about it later.

:: Jane Dee 7:37:00 PM [+] ::
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I've hit the jackpot

Now I know why I was sick these past few days. It's here. The big one.

The Alpha-0 migraine.

Let me explain what I am talking about. I have devised a classification system for headaches/migraines and it goes like this:

Alpha: Migraine
Beta: (headache) Tension
Gamma: (headache) Cluster

For Alpha classification only:
Symptoms (first number)
3 - Nausea or vomiting
2 - Sensitivity to lights and sounds
1 - Appearance of auras
0 - All mentioned symptoms

For Alpha and Beta Classification:
Location
"+" (positive sign) - both sides of head or pain encompasses more than the skull region like the neck and shoulders. We just say "Alpha" and do not need to say "positive Alpha"
"-" (negative sign) - one side of head only or is isolated on skull to one area only. We say "negative Alpha"

Amount of pain (second number)
4 - (tension only) steady ache
3 - not a lot
2 - enough that you need medicine
1 - very painful
0 - debilitating or causing impairment (usually accompanied by a throbbing pain)

If the headache is Alpha-00, we just say "Alpha zero" and write it as "Alpha-0" (greek letter "alpha" is ok too)

Examples:
If I have a tension headache with a lot of pain on both sides of my head it would be Beta-1.
If I had a migraine on one side of my head with moderate pain but was also dizzy it would be -Alpha-32.
If I hit the jackpot and have pain on both sides of my head along with neck pain, causing impairment, and I have all the symptoms for alpha classification, then we have Alpha-0

Now that I expended a lot of energy trying to type this, I need a break. I will try not to pull my eyeballs out of my head. Or cry.

:: Jane Dee 6:14:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.05.2003 ::
AAARRRGGHH!

I'm cursed! Cursed I tell you! This cannot be true. It is all an evil trick. It has to be! IT MUST!
If there was a pickle to be in, I am in the jar.

:: Jane Dee 7:43:00 PM [+] ::
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Okay, that took too long...

So I forgot to mention I had an interesting dream last night/morning. And I think I know what/who it is about. Imagine this:

I am in the bathroom. I think I had just took a leak and flushed the toilet. All of a sudden I notice there is a pink haze in the bathroom. It looked like it would look that way if my glasses were tinted a bit more pink. Then the toilet is starting to overflow and I get a bit nervous. Luckily the water stopped at the top of the bowl where I noticed the water was pink too! Everywhere I looked it was pink. Then the toilet started to get bigger... like time was being distorted. I was still me in the same spot, but somehow the toilet got bigger, but was still normal. Let's just say the toilet got bigger... so big that it appeared I could look into the bowl like it was a birdbath.

I'm not even going to entertain the thought of me interpreting this dream outloud. I'm in trouble enough already as it seems.

:: Jane Dee 6:16:00 PM [+] ::
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Searching for a topic

Okay get this. For my sociology class I have to look up a website and make a five minute speech on how that website is related to sociology blah blah. WHY??? Oh you have no idea how much I despise moronic projects. Come on man, I can do this in my sleep. I didn't even open the book for this class once and I have a 94 average on the tests. I don't even study! I look at the review sheet half an hour before the test. This semester is so painful because of this drudgery. Like for my science class, the prof was handing the tests back and he has to wake me up. OOOPS! hahaha. I could have gotten a 99 on that test if I'd have studied my medical shorthand. I FORGOT! Oh well. An 89 for basically sleeping through every class and not taking notes is a fair trade. Like today was the second lab test and I think I got one wrong. I totally forgot there was to be a lab test. I remembered during sociology and was studying for that test while taking notes on religious groups. Which brings me back to the original gripe. I forgot I had to look up this sheeyot. Whatever. I'll look it up and finish it today or tomorrow and continue sleeping in class. Like making a presentation is supposed to be some big scary thing. Yawn.

I think I'm going to take a shower. I'm still dizzy from yesterday too. What is wrong with me? Whatever, I'll worry about it when I am all fresh and clean.

:: Jane Dee 5:13:00 PM [+] ::
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Whoa!
I really have to stop passing out in the floor.

:: Jane Dee 5:03:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.04.2003 ::
RRRGGGGHH!

Forget it, I give up.

I'm going to bed.


:: Jane Dee 8:09:00 PM [+] ::
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oh geez

My dating situation better change soon. And I mean in a good way.

NOW I know why women go lesbian. Sheesh!

:: Jane Dee 7:42:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh I don't feel good....

I don't think I drank enough water these past few days... I feel lightheaded. Anyway, I was eating one of a pile emergency stash of frozen turkey burgers which I probably shouldn't because they were in there a bit too long now. Anyway, I figured that I may just need some protien. So as I'm eating the burger, my mother walks in and says "I need to eat something, but I don't know what." I just shrug my shoulders but I was really thinking "Don't know?? My! You have a choice between ketchup, bread, and old rice!" See, you have to understand that there is hardly ever any food in my house. No one buys a thing except me. And I quit. I can't stand wasting MY time buying stuff for everyone when no one hasn't bought a thing since I was 15. I'm not joking folks. There was once a time in my life where all I had to eat was bread and butter with water. It may have been because we were poor, but I think it was more because no one wanted to go do the shopping. The only time there was food in the house is when I went shopping! So when I got my car, I shopped for the house. Now that I don't have one, I say let 'em starve. What am I going to do? Take the bus? HA! Funny thing is that the only food left in the house is kosher goods because of where I work. Imagine if I worked at a auto body shop or something. And you know what else? I am the only one who cooks in that house! I am so serious. I had cooked a pot of rice a couple days ago because I "felt bad" that there was no food in the house. I didn't even eat it when I was done. I used to cook all the time, almost everyday. No one cared though so I stopped. There is a few packs of frozen chicken in the freezer that are so frozen you can drive a nail through the wall with them. Well, all I can say is that the less I'm home, the better. And to think I was going to leave my job because it was getting too rough. Why quit? I'd just be home longer. And who the hell needs that?

:: Jane Dee 7:40:00 PM [+] ::
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GAG!

PHEW! I left my window open and now it smells like Russian food! EEW! I think they are having fish eyes and onions!

:: Jane Dee 3:34:00 PM [+] ::
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Hey Hey Hey!

Check it out, the Eta Aquarids are here! Not to mention a TOTAL lunar ecliiiiiipse!

Sheesh, I shouldn't be so excited. I keep forgetting I have no one to see them with.

:: Jane Dee 3:10:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.03.2003 ::
Oooh!
Now I can buy my own agar!

:: Jane Dee 3:53:00 PM [+] ::
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Whew
Okay I got to that Russian site looking for the webpage or something to the "Yarka Natural Willow Charcoal". Little did I know it was made in Russia. Well, I have to say that this is the worst charcoal on the planet. Not only does it not always draw, it rips my newsprint paper! Phooey! I had spet ten bucks on this box and had to buy a whole new box (new brand of course) last weekend anyway. Waste of $$$ folks!

:: Jane Dee 3:49:00 PM [+] ::
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AAAHHHHHH!

Russian Overload!

:: Jane Dee 3:43:00 PM [+] ::
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YA! Now I know where Coke get's it fizz!

:: Jane Dee 3:39:00 PM [+] ::
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:: 5.01.2003 ::
And now.... Staphylococcus aureus!



Here is a great shot of S.aureus on a mannitol salt agar. The plate on the left is when it hasn't fermented the mannitol yet. The middle plate shows the start of the fermentation of the sugar. The plate on the right shows how all the phenol red has turned yellow because of the acid released during fermentation.



Here is a close-up of S. aureus on blood agar. notice the clear "halo" around the colonies. This is betahemolysis where the blood is destroyed by this organism. Also notice my skill at isolating those colonies. Yay me!

:: Jane Dee 9:47:00 PM [+] ::
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