:: The Headache Diaries ::

:: The Headache Diaries ::

Welcome! Enjoy some of the finer pages of online ramblings out there! If you have found this page through BlogSpot, please visit my homepage using the links on the sidebar. Inspired by the certainty of my headaches, "The Headache Diaries" may include my headache log. NOTE: This page replaced "Attack of the A Train" because I no longer ride the A train on a regular basis, reducing any notable encounters. ::

:: 11.13.2009 ::

Getting Tired of My Job

I better not say that too loud because someone may try to take it from me!

So Ive been working at Fedex for five years already. How crazy is that? I would have never have thought that I would have a job that long nor did I think that I would be working at Fedex this long. The problem is that combined with the slumpin market and managers not "seeing" me (that means they think I dont look the part) as manager or trainer material, and my nagging customers, Im definately ready to make a change. Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to persue my piloting apsirations, at least commercially anyways. I would still like to get an MBA, but with the prices some schools want to charge, Im not sure its worth it. I was thinking about other plans and careers.

I guess its inevitable that I will leave Fedex. Ive pretty much moved up as far as I could. I don't see myself landing a manager job anytime soon and I know there will not be anymore trainer positions. Sometimes, I wish I worked one day a week so I can focus on other things.

Well, till next time.

:: Jane Dee 2:43:00 PM [+] ::
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Bad Dreams, Sad Realities

This past month has been good and bad. The good part was that I went on my first cruise and it was wonderful! I was surprised at how awesome my cruise was. I wont post pictures here because I try to post them on my webpage. However I will say that I gained 10 pounds in one week and about a month later it finally came off. I will definately go on more cruises. Its a lot more enjoyable than flying.

The bad news is that I had found a small lump on my cat and I was nervous about it because it was in the dager zone of being a mammary tumor which from what I read is very aggressive and deaadly in cats. So I brought her in to see the vet and the vet wasnt too concerned because it didnt seem like a mammary tumor. The vet explained what the surgery would entail and I was upset because they would have to cut out so much tissue and she is an older cat. I was worried about the surgery but also about the tumor being the bad type. After much deliberation, I took her back a week later and went ahead with the surgery. She recovered well and I will have to get her stiches out finally in a couple of days. The extra bad part is that the biopsy showed that the tumor WAS the malignant mammary kind and the vet commended me on finding it so early. This was the smallest mammry tumor she had ever removed from a cat. Well, either way, there is still a chance that it metastasized but statistically, her life span should be about 21 MONTHS. I was pretty upset by this because although Ive read that if you remove these tumors early you get and average of three YEARS, the vet said this is the newest statistic.

Obviously Ive been upset about my kitty and I had a horrible dream that she died in my arms. I woke up panting and crying. That had never happenedd to me in all my life. I don't expect this to be my only dream like this . I feel as though Meux Meux has an hourglass attached to her and from here on its only a matter of time. Even though she is going to be 10 in March and she may have had only three years left, I don't want an otherwise healthy kitty to be taken away from me just from some dumb tumor.

Hopefully, her stitches will come out with ease and she can get back to being herself again. Right now she is wearing a baby shirt and she isnt fond of it.

:: Jane Dee 2:41:00 PM [+] ::
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September Updates

Hello all. September was a month to remember!

Of course, I am not as descriptive as I used to be and I wont embellish anything, so here is what I did:

I went on my first cruise.

I went on a Mexican cruise on Royal Carribean and it was a real blast. I never knew how awesome it was to cruise. I think that I will try my darndest to go cruising more often. I was looking forward to my Alaskan cruise, but now I think I want to see Austrailia by ship as well. I think it would be the best way to see it all!

I also cant believe how fast time is going. I also dont know how much longer I want to keep up this blog. I dont write anything anymore. Not that I have nothing to write about but I actually have someone to talk to about all this that its kind of old once I get around to typing it. Its not that much fun to talk to yourself. Which is basically what this is. It is fun to go back and read my old posts because they were actually pretty good and funny. I guess I could talk about my co workers but why would I want to waste time doing that?

Oh well, till next time.

:: Jane Dee 12:59:00 PM [+] ::
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Blogger in Draft

Whats the diff?
I dunno, but its August! I cant believe how fast my life is going.

I feel like I have a fever... Hm only 99.1

Funny how I dont write much on this thing anymore. I used to always write stuff. I guess I got sick of writing.

:: Jane Dee 10:09:00 PM [+] ::
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Gettin' Motivated

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had made some different decisions in 1998 and 1999. Like what would have happened if I went off to Pharmacy school in Philadelphia or joined the Air Force like I wanted to. I like my life now. its mostly peaceful and I can finally get my life together. I can actually make new decisions without my family problems hanging over my head twenty-four hours a day. From where I stand right now, I can see how messed up my life was before. I dont know how I held on that long without killing anyone. I must have been favored by the almighty. I am not joking. Now I have a great reward with a fabulous husband who is totally awesome and I wouldnt trade him for anyone! Lucky me. Just when I thought I was going to be an old maid because Im just too picky.

Just sayin'

:: Jane Dee 3:46:00 AM [+] ::
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The Saddest Song In The World

Is "Wouldn't Be So Bad" by Alison Krauss and Union Station. Just doesnt get old.

Anyways, I dont have much to say. Nothing new here. Other than I may need to buy some new dry erase markers. I am surprised they lasted over FIVE YEARS. Sheesh!

Well, I think my husband is going upstate to see his parents for July 4th weekend. I mean Im going too, but it was his idea. That should be boring. Not that I have anything against his family, I just dont like family functions because you either have to talk about yourself of listen to everyone say the same stories over and over. Actually Id rather listen, but they dont drink coffee and I will definately need some kind of boost. Hmm. I guess there is not much I can do.

:: Jane Dee 6:11:00 AM [+] ::
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Some Thoughts

Another Saturday and not much doing. Right now I am setting up my new VAIO. I am making recovery discs. Then I hope I can change the settings. This thing runs Windows Vista, so I dont know how it works or how well it will hold up. I still have my old VAIO and I have no plans to get rid of it.

So speaking of getting rid of things, I had set out an old dining table and six chairs and some towels I was going to donate to the Vietnam Veterans Association. I called them to come and pick it up and I waited all morning for them. I then had to leave for work so I called to make sure I hadnt made a mistake and scheduled it for the next Friday. Everything was correct, so I left for work, a little uneasy because I had a bad feeling someone was going to take the table and chairs. AND OF COURSE SOME ASSHOLE DID.

Can you believe someone would take a DONATION? I labelled it "Property of VVA" too! The office called me and asked me where the donation was and she said the driver said there was nothing there. I was so mad because someone STOLE my stuff. I bet someone will try to sell it too. Assholes. This is why I think some people deserve all the bad luck they get.

Among other annoying things that people do, I must say that the drivers in "the valley" (aka greater Phoenix area) are very shitty. I hope certain people have car trouble and drive through brick walls.

I guess today's theme would be "Assholes," and it brings me back to when I was studying nursing. I remember trying to get into the spirit of wanting to "help people" and "caring" but you know something, there are many people out there that are rotten and miserable that I knew that if I was to be a nurse, there would be times I'd want to "accidently" pull the plug on some people. I think that if I ran a medical facility, I would have a "no asshole policy." That means that I have the right to refuse service to someone I feel is being an asshole. Yes, asshole is subjective, but its my business so I dont care. I know first hand how stupid customers can be coming from a service oriented field. And no, the customer is not always right; sometimes they are just assholes.

I also think Facebook is pretty annoying. There are some "freinds" on there that I really should delete. I especially hate the post "25 Random Things About Me." HELLO, its not random. I am so sick of people using that word. It drives me nuts!!!!!! So here is my version of some stupid note on Facebook:

25 Things That Are NOT Random Because I Thought About Them And Are Writing Them Down

1. I don't like it when someone says something but then not elaborate on it if asked about it.
2. I think Scions are extremely ugly.
3. I think people shouldn't add you as a freind in Facebook unless you hold some kind of value to them as opposed to being a filler.
4. I don't like it when people want to know my business, but will not let me know theirs.
5. I wish I could say better things about the drivers in this state.
6. I wish flight training was either cheaper or had better financing options.
7. I wish I had perfect vision.
8. I wish I could telepathically give people pain or at least give them the runs when I wish.
9. I don't think my parents were very good at parenting.
10. I like peanut butter.
11. I also like coffee.
12. I don't like that my "family" has so many issues and problems.
13. I'm glad I'm married.
14. I think my husband is the greatest gift I ever received.
15. I always wonder how much better off I could have been if I was adopted by another family.
16. I'm glad I have a house and a giant backyard.
17. I have a cat that snores.
18. I have some sort of DSPS and I go to bed at about 4am.
19. I want to run my own business so I can make my own schedule.
20. I hate school but I want to get a professional degree.
21. I have a pet snail.
22. I think I read too many non-fiction books.
23. I always feel hungry.
24. I like to hike.
25. I wish I didnt have to work.

Well, I guess its back to work.

:: Jane Dee 7:40:00 PM [+] ::
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Ahhhh

I am convinced I have the best bed in the world. I just bought a new king size mattress and WOW! Ive never felt so good.

:: Jane Dee 5:45:00 AM [+] ::
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Green Day's New Album

So I hear Green Day has a new album. I guess if I were 16, I'd care, but ever since "Warning" and especially after their over-the-top, boring political album "American Idiot", this will be one album I will happily not be purchasing. I don't want music with a message. I don't want music to tell me what they think of the government or their ideas about God. I want music to take me to another place, probably because I feel sad or mad. I want a song to tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel or help me imagine beating someone's face in. If I want political crap, I will turn on the news for an endless stream of murdurous rampages, war, rapes, bombs, etc. I certainly dont need Green Day to help with that. I guess I am just annoyed at their "new" direction. Like I am supposed to take a pot-smoking, eye-liner wearing guy seriously about politics and God. Hm, yeah, I don't think so.

Yeah what is UP with the eyeliner, geez! OKAY I GET IT, you're down, hip, emo whatever, just please stop wearing eyeliner!!!!

Anyway, my car was going nuts today, but now it seems to be doing okay. Now I am just confused. Right now I filled the radiator with water, but I have to get it out and fill it with coolant. If I can find the spigot on the bottom, maybe I can do it myself without going to the mechanic? We'll see. Im interested in doing it myself.

You know, I originally brought up the Green Day thing because this guy I used to date, The Captain, once sais that the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" was applicable at the moment. I was amused and annoyed at the same time because here was Mr. Pathetic, all mopey and stupid about his life and at the same time I was annoyed that we were together and yet he still crying his "Im so alone" theme. What a douchebag. I wish him many constipated nights.

If my car blows up, I will post.

:: Jane Dee 3:01:00 AM [+] ::
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Weeks Going By...

It's been about a month since the wedding and I am definately glad it is over. It seems that everyone had a good time and I am sort aproud to announce that the wedding itself came out to $1451! I didnt include the marriage license fee, but with that, it comes to $1549! Am I brilliant or what? And I still had ice cream left over!

Okay in any case, I am sitting at work now because I just came back from the social secuity office to change my name. When I was pulling out, the dashboard tells me my coolant is low. Im confused because I just checked it a couple of weeks ago. Well, I blast the heater and I am able to get to work, not without the car having to be restarted almost at the home stretch. I am able to pull into a parking spot and I am waiting for the car to cool down when a mobile mechanic stops by to help. Well, he fills the tank and gives me his card, and a few minutes later, the car is puking the coolant all over the ground. So now I am annoyed because I am not sure if I should drive the car home and monitor the levels like I did to get to work or call that guy or trash the car or something. It is ten years old. The problem is that I wanted to buy some furniture this weekend and I was going to put a big charge on my credit card for that, but now I am reconsidering because maybe I should use those monthly payments to get a new car. Or newer car. I guess I should talk to the hubby. Maybe he can help.

Its been THREE YEARS since I finally graduated and I am still contemplating what to do. Obviously I am not going to try to move up at fedex anymore. Thats done. I am still thinking about school. What I do want is a better or different job. I was thinking about becoming an OTR driver with my husband. Ive thought about that for a while now. It would be fun to drive teams with him. I can bring my cat too, lol! We'd make more money than we do now and we would have less expenses since we wouldnt be at home. Its something to consider.

In other news, my mother and father are at it again about the house. This time my father wants to get rid of my mother once and for all. She told me they went to court and they have a new court date in June. She asked me if I want to buy his share. I said I would for $180,000. I don't really want the house because it needs quite a bit of repairs. Not to mention its full of my mothers "junk." If I bought it, I would have to live there until it's fixed up. It's a nice house and I would want it, but I don't have plans to live in NY anymore and if I did, I'd rather live on Long Island. I feel bad for my mother a bit because she really wants to live in NY but I dont think there is much I can do for her. I would rather buy a house out here than use up my mortgage money on my old house. If it were up to me, I would have her sell it and she can move out here and get a nice house for $150,000, maybe even one on my block. But she doesnt listen to me and she is so hung up on NY. Who cares about NY, what the hell is so great about NY? I should correct myself, its NYC. I like Long Island. Ugh! This whole thing is stupid. She should just sell it. She wants to be a prisoner of my father and that house forever. And I give her all sorts of good ideas and I tell her she can live here but it's not good enough, so whatever. I cant keep saying the same things over and over. If she wants to be stressed out until the day she dies then so be it.

Thank God its a three day weekend. I need a break.

:: Jane Dee 2:16:00 PM [+] ::
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One thing Ive wanted to do:

Your result for What's your key signature?...

B Minor

Hey, what's an emo's favorite key signature? B MINOR LOLOLOL

Congratulations, you’re B Minor, which is surprisingly not the depressing key signature, as the pun up there would indicate. B Minor is the equivalent of a crazy guy on a rooftop shouting at the top of his lungs angrily during a fireball storm in a war zone. It’s the key you turn to when you want something angry and rocking. The key isn’t too hard to play in for most instruments, but guitars and bass guitars can really slash it up on B Minor if they know what they’re doing. Sure, you could be forlorn and quiet, but who the hell wants that when you could rip the heads off some innocent bystanders?

All right, dude. Calm yourself down and read this, I know that description got you all pumped up and ready to rip the heads off some innocent bystanders. This is the key of aggression and power, and with great power comes great responI’m going to stop before you rip MY head off.

SONG EXAMPLE: The finale from the musical Godspell. (Only B Minor could make the death of Jesus seem like it’s a fucking rock concert.)

INTERESTING TIDBIT:

* One of the most popular compositions for guitar of all time, Concierto de Aranjues, is in B Minor. And even for a nylon stringed acoustic song, it rocks your socks off.

Take What's your key signature? at HelloQuizzy

now on to the other stuffs

:: Jane Dee 4:10:00 AM [+] ::
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I'm Married

And I guess that's all I have to say for now, ha!

:: Jane Dee 3:51:00 AM [+] ::
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Three Weeks To Go

So my wedding is in about three weeks and I am working everyday to get everything done. The funny thing is that I sent out all these RSVP cards and I only got a few back. Only one from my side! How annoying. Is it too much to ask to send back the damn card? I even paid for the postage. Well, I said that the favor of a reply was desired by April 15. Hello, if you dont RSVP, dont show up. I wont let you in. And dont think Im kidding either.

So far, with me and the groom, there will be about 20 people. Thats about half I was expecting. I guess it will be okay if less show up. Less $$ on chair rentals and food. And since I am paying for everything, thats a good thing for my bank account.

Right now I am looking to buy a new memory stick that I can use at the wedding. I think I will opt for the 8Gb so I can record about an hours worth of video. Not that I will want to watch any of the wedding over and over, but I like to archive. I found a good deal on amazon. Hmm, maybe I should sell my 1Gb sticks then if I buy this one?

On the do-to list is mending my dress, making the bridesmaids jewelry, and figuring out what food to make, but that part is hard when not everyone sent back the rsvp. Oh well. Generally, there will be the cake, but I am going to make kabobs. That way I can satisfy everyone. I can have tofu, shrimp, chicken, and beef. Im planning having stuff like fruit and yogurt and stuff like that.

The grass is doing okay. Its grown in quite a bit, but not completely. I guess I will have to make do. I am assuming there wont be that many people unless they want to crash my wedding. I better see the rest this week! Gosh this annoys me to no end...

:: Jane Dee 5:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Gone are the days of frequent posts?

Perhaps.

It's already the end of March and I am getting married in about a month. I haven't done much else but get the backyard in order. The grass is growing in finally and I hope it cover at least most of the yard by the time the wedding rolls around. Ive been busting my ass trying to fix that yard and since no one really reads this blog anymore, I have a lot of freedom in saying stuff.

First off, I must say that I dont even care for a wedding! It was all his idea. If it were up to me, I would just get the paperwork done in City Hall. I am not excited about whatever is left of my family showing up, although it's nice that I finally made up with my sister. It sucked not having anyone but now I feel better. Anyway, whats annoying is that it was all his idea, but I get stuck doing all the labor. Not that I am totally complaining, but its kinda shitty this way.

I enlisted my mother the task of making the dresses and she measured me and then right before she sends it she says "I made it smaller, I hope you lost weight." Why the hell would I lose weight and why does she keep pestering me about me being "husky" when I am not. Yes I am muscular but so what? It's a moot point because it didnt prevent me from finding anyone. So who cares? She claims that I was never this way and that I only started getting big working at Fedex. Oh yeah sure like she knows me anyway. First of all, I was skinny as hell in high school because I had an eating disorder, not because I was always that way and suddenly grew mannish muscles. Ive always been heavy (and when I say heavy I mean muscular thus weighing more not fat), that is just the way I am. Secondly, she never noticed my muscles until a month ago when she measured me for the dress and actually felt my back and arms. If you were to look at me only, you cant tell I'm 5'2" and 140 lbs. Well, too bad for her the dress fits fine.

Work is a whole other issue. I dont even think about it anymore. Lucky us, none were laid off. Although I wouldnt mind if some jerks were fired, har har. Because of the "economic conditions" of the universe, I have been thinking of new career paths. Yeah Im sure someone who knows me reading this may snicker at this statement. "Oh yeah there she goes again with her big ideas pffft." Well fine that is a fair response given my lackluster career moves. I would like to say in my defense that the only way I could get anywhere in life was to get out of my house and move far away. Lucky me I met someone really awesome so half the battle has been won. Now that I am here in Arizona, I have to take advantage of my residency and go to school. For what is the issue. I still plan to try for the MBA, but I may add some kind of twist to that. I like to aim high and all that you know.

What annoys me is that "the wedding" is taking so much of my time right at the moment I want to try and do something new. Whats even worse is that I fear that since it wont be super glamorous, or glamorous at all, that those who come will be dissapointed or make fun of my efforts. Well I hope that's not the case. I will have you all know that I alone am paying for my own wedding. Can you believe that? My family is so messed up that I have to pay for my own wedding. Good lord. Well I hope no one makes fun of my buttercream roses. I am not the best at everything.

So I have this stack of books just sitting on the floor next to me because for some reason I think reading these books will help make up for my shitty education courtesy of City CHOC-ollege. You know I was thinking about that school yesterday or something and man what a crap-hole. If I would have felt satisfied never having to go to school, I'd not be thinking about that stupid school. I kinda feel bad for City College because it tries so hard to be a real school, talking about all the Nobel Prize winning alumni but in reality it is very crappy. NOT as crappy as LIU-Brooklyn, but its in that arena. I wonder if they ever fixed the science building or if its still not up to code with all the asbestos and walls crumbling. I once got stuck in an elevator at City. That was a hoot! Sometimes, I envy all the people who have normal families and support their kids in putting all their efforts in getting into good schools so they dont have to deal with what I went through. I still like KCC and I still send them alumni dues!

You know what else annoys me is Facebook. I dont know why anyone adds me other than the like, six people that actually know me. I guess its my fault, I checked Im on there to network. Maybe two people actually contact me through there on a regular basis. Everyone else is just there. One person contacts me, asks me questions, and when I ask some back she says that facebook is turning into twenty-questions. Uhm, you asked first you turd. And its cliche, not tooshay.

hm, I seem a bit snippy. I guess it also doesnt help that I am the "Lead-On Sales Coordinator" for the Phoenix Ramp and my job is to develop sales leads and enter them in and follow up. Well the ding-dong sales reps at Fedex sure are stupid. I think that they had it good for so long they dont know what to do to keep the existing customers. Im not even going to get into it here, but do know they piss me off.

Well, enough rambling, Im off to bed at an early 3:36am.

:: Jane Dee 3:19:00 AM [+] ::
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See How I Forget

Eh, This is just to be consistent...

:: Jane Dee 3:17:00 AM [+] ::
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Posts In Real Time

Well this has been an interesting month! Something happened to me that hasnt happened to me (normally) before: I was proposed to and I accepted!

Ive actually had two awkward proposals, if you could call it that, happen to me before. However, both were thrown at me when I was already broken up with the person. How stupid is that? Anyway, who cares. All I know is that I found someone who really loves me and cares about my feelings and doesnt take me for granted or advantage of me. And I find him quite attractive. Hurrah!

I guess this also means that I wont be moving anytime soon. It also doesnt help that the housing market sucks. But its okay, I like 'Zona enough. Im just glad I get to hang around Scottsdale all day. I also hope that Fedex doent tank. They havent had any layoffs, but who knows. Just keep hopin' and prayin'.

:: Jane Dee 1:30:00 AM [+] ::
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Late Post: Better Late Than Never But Still Shitty

Last time I wrote, I was in Indy going over my interview strategy. Well, a lot of good that's done me! To get to the point, I did not get the job. I later called to ask how I did and I apparently did well. In fact, I did so well that I only lost by four points. It was also great to hear that since I am such an asset to the company that the next time this job rolls around, I will definately get it.

Right.

First of all, this WAS next time. I interviewed for this job before and didnt get it, just kind words of encouragement. Sure, I thought, next time I'll knock their socks off. I guess I did, but not as far as the guy who got it.

So as I sulked around about my performance, I realized that I now knew what it was like to lose the Super Bowl. Especially if your a team that doesnt make it in very often.

So now I am here thinking about a change of plans. I cant be a pilot because I have no money, and I cant anticipate getting another interview for this job anytime soon. (maybe in about six years or when one of them kicks the bucket) So I am back to square root of one and wondering what I am going to do with myself. I am thinking that my career aspirations at Fedex are not going to become reality and I should think of something else. What something else is has yet to be determined.

:: Jane Dee 1:14:00 AM [+] ::
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Sitting At A Desk In Indy

Right now I am sitting here in Indianapolis going over my presentation and some examples to answer the questions of the interview. In one respect, I am very excited to be here and in another respect, I am about to throw up.

Ive been working long and hard for this interview and I just want to make sure I give him every opportunity to hire me. Ive read 15 books about interviewing, Im dressing for success, Ive prepared like Im back in school trying to get on the deans list. Im pretty tired and I would like to go to sleep, but that whatever it is inside of me is telling me to keep going, keep practicing because you still have at least three more hours before you can go to sleep anyway. I may not even fall asleep at that point anyway.

I just knew I should have brought index cards. Ugh!

Anyway, my strongest point will be my presentation. I have cool pictures and animations that really drive my points home. I want them to know I am modern and can use a computer. I hope the other guys dont use powerpoint.

I guess there isnt much else to say without me rambling on about how Im nervous. It was kinda funny to see guys on the plane dressed in Colts jackets and caps. Never saw so many together at once. The water here is hard, but Ive been drinking it anyway. Its nowhere near as gross as Arizona water.

Well, wish me luck. Hopefully the next time I write I will have good news.

:: Jane Dee 9:17:00 PM [+] ::
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My 600th Post!

Ive been very busy for once and its for something good!

Ive got an interview for a trainer position at Fedex! WHOOOO!

So right now I am preparing a powerpoint presentation on the five keys to defensive driving. Ive never used power point before, but its been easy enough. Im going to see about taking some photos and video tomorrow to use in my presentation. I hope I get a volunteer, ha!

I was interviewed once before for a similar position, but I obviously didnt get it. This time is different in that I have tractor trailer experience and an impeccable safe driving record, among other things. THIS time I will use power point. And this time, I get super lucky and get to fly JUMPSEAT ON THE FEDEX PLANE! XD Ive never flown on a cargo plane before, so this will really be an experience. I may even get my room paid for, but Im not banking on it. I will rent a car to check out the area, maybe I'd have my domicile there (Indianapolis). But in any case, I hope this time, I get them to like me and I get the job.

Thats the other thing, I'd have to move to the "central region" which is Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, Illinois, etc. I am wondering if Newark would be an option since he has someone working there already. Well, we'll see. I have to get the job first huh?

When Im done with the powerpoint I think I'll post it. It should be funny. But before then you can check this out. They developed the five keys in the first place.

:: Jane Dee 2:50:00 AM [+] ::
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Post High School Recap

An old friend asked me "How did you wind up in Arizona?"

Well, for all you readers out there I will tell you. Originally formatted for an email, I think I will keep it this way. It sounds more personal:

So here is the story of Arizona. I am only sending this to you because you asked specifically. It's very long and complicated and its better that I not think about these things too much. Anyway,

After high school, I was going to go to pharmacy school in Philadelphia. That plan fell through because of a few things: it was expensive and my parents (given how dysfunctional they are) werent giving me any guidance. In fact, I was met with resistance (why, I dont know. I was also met with resistance when I wanted to go to the Air Force). The other reasons were that I was scared to leave home especially since they didnt allow freshmen to have cars on campus. So I asked my then boyfriend (whom I was dating for about a year and a half already) to come and take a look at the community college there so we could split and apartment (he was no genius so I wasnt expecting him to finish school). That didnt work because as I found out later, he has some serious mom issues.

So I decided to go to LIU. That was a huge mistake because that has to be the worst, ugliest, gross, etc., school ever. If it werent for the advice of my old Dewey orchestra teacher, I would have dropped out of school all together. So I finished one semester of LIU and transferred to Kingsborough. All was going well, I majored in math and graduated on time.

My next step was to figure out what I wanted to do. No Air Force, no pharmacy, now what? Well, I took a year off and went on a cross country road trip. I fell in love with the Southwest. During my year off I also worked at CVS and was a math teacher in Harlem. I had thought about being a math teacher but wasnt sure. When my year off came to an end, I thought that I would apply to ASU and get a math degree.

However, you must understand that during my years at KCC and after, I was having a heck of a time at home. My parents were making me crazy between the heart attack my mother had, to my father trying to bankrupt my mother, the legal issues, the fights, well, you get it. Not a fun time. In fact I had tried to move out many times but to no avail. I was really trying to finish school and I couldnt move out and go to school all by myself. And no one was going to help me and be my roommate.

So at that point ASU was not an option and I went to City College to try to finish the math degree. When 9/11 happened, my school turned into a place I did not want to be. To put it simply, I was not agreeing with their ideas about the current state of affairs. Then I got into a car accident and withdrew form the school. Enough is enough you know?

The car accident was not cool. I had no money left, and now I had no car to make any money. So what did I do? I tried to look into "careers" that would take a short time to learn in school and would give me at least a decent salary in the end so I can finally leave my crazy house. I was reading a book my sister had recommended about some woman who went to KCC and had ghosts in her house. He apparently was a nurse. I thought, "hey that is something I can do" and applied to the nursing program at KCC thinking Id be done in two years and have a job that can actually pay the bills.

I was pretty excited about the idea and my mother liked the idea for once. I was thinking "hey, I can actually get an advanced degree in this field, and they offer it as ASU!!" So off I went preparing to be a nurse practitioner and dreaming about the yellow thunderbird I will drive to my job in Arizona.

When I started the nurse program, I was liking it. It was pretty easy. I got As in all my classes except drawing (he was a total jerk and I wasnt about to kiss his ass). I studied my ass off. The way I took the classes was I took all the science classes first then I would take all the nursing classes after so I could concentrate on just that. So all was going well until I got to the actual nurse classes. That is when I learned that no matter what they said, this was not science. It in fact was utter nonsense.

Im not trying to make fun of nurses, but what kind of education is this? I wont go into detail given my endless blogging on the subject, but rest assured, this was not worth all the time and effort I had put into this. I was pissed off to high hell. I wanted to beat these retarded "professors" up. I withdrew from the program because I could not understand how anything they were making me do was going to help me be a good nurse. And I made sure I wrote that down on my "reasons for withdrawing" paper. Screw them, they need help.

Now I was back to square one, and very angry. I had it up to my eyeballs with school. I hated school (and dont have much good to say about it at this point either) and wanted to finish the damn degree already and get the hell out of this torture system. So I had a plan.

Now before I tell you about my plan, I need to backtrack a bit. Before I withdrew from City College, my boyfriend of four years decided to break up with me because I asked him "where do you see us in five years" and apparently he said we were different religiously and that maybe we'd be better off apart. Im not sure if this little blog is conveying the complexity of the emotions involved in that conversation but needless to say I was immensely pissed off. I was even more pissed off because this "boyfriend" of mine recently started work at Fedex and was always busy and on his days off we tried to plan stuff. What made me mad was that he would cancel at the last minute because his MOTHER needed him to do this and that. First of all, he has two other brothers and secondly, we dont see each other anymore. This wuss cant even tell his mother NO. Thats how our relationship was the whole time: Mommy first then maybe me if there was no one else who wanted his time. I deeply resented our relationship and when he wanted to break it off, I took that opportunity to date a previous professor of mine whom was very handsome and way smarter, hence more interesting.

This professor, who shall remain nameless, had been the object of my desires long before my "boyfriend" broke up with me. I like the attention he gave me. Unlike Mr Im-too-busy-being-cool-and-spending-all-my-time-in-the-stupid-KCC-radio-station who practically ignored me most of the time. I suppose my "boyfriend" knew I liked mr professor because he was pissed off when he saw me "all dressed up" as I was waiting to be picked up. Of course my "boyfriend" only saw me because he was stalking me and saying how "he made a mistake" and wanted to get back together. Uh yeah like I am going to get back together with someone who dropped me like a hot potato after being together for FOUR YEARS. Hell no. I had a hot date anyway.

Obviously, the professor thing didnt work out because he was a nut. That made me sad because he's pretty hot despite what Louisa thinks. After a period of being mad, I talked to my ex boyfriend here and there and he became a good source of spending money. The nursing program was taking me to the cleaners and I was practically starving myself to go to school. (More reason I was pissed off - I was paying too much money to let these assholes teach whatever the hell they wanted) In the meantime, I met someone new and I dated him for a little over a year.

This new guy was supposedly a lawyer but I guess I didnt have my lie radar on because this new guy was worse than my ex boyfriend. (If you need someone to pick out a guy that has MOM ISSUES, come talk to me. I seem to be an expert at picking them out.) Anyway, this guy was originally from Oklahoma and after he went spiraling out of control with what he was doing with his life, I asked him if he wanted to come with me to Arizona. He said "there was nothing there for him" (which was a joke because he ended up working at WAL-MART and trying to cheat "the system" to get into the armed forces - let me tell you, he was more screwed up than me!)

So after the Captain (inside joke, lolz) started getting on my nerves, I decided to start talking to me ex boyfriend to help me get a job at Fedex. I pestered him for about three months until finally! Hurrah! Dental coverage!

I was working at Fedex and going to school and still seeing the Captain when I finally got enough nerve to break it off. I assumed he wanted to break it off but was too scared to do so. Maybe I was wrong because he cried and did all sorts of annoying things to get me to like him again (like slide an engagement ring at me like it was a beer). However, I didnt see anything good in our future and decided not to fall for his schemes... like popping out of nowhere at 5am as I tried to drive away to work or buying me some bracelet from tiffany's.

While fending off the Captain, I became better friends with my ex and for a while, I thought things were going well and maybe we could be on the road to recovery. Nope. I, being the annoying gotta-know person I am, wanted to know if he was serious about our friendship and not just pulling my leg to leave me for his MOM again. He said we could talk about our relationship and marriage after I graduated (which was less than 6 months away). So fine, but in the meantime, I didnt want him to lie and say we were "together." Of course I constantly had to set the record straight as I felt he was getting the best of both worlds: no commitment from me yet fooling everyone into thinking Im taken so I dont get no dates. That didnt stop me! HA! I made out with someone anyway and I was not sorry.

So back to the plan, remember? Yeah I was going to tell you about what my plan was when I dropped nursing. I was pretty pissed so I had a lot of energy to help me along. I did all this research and found that City College would give me the best deal on transfer credits. Meaning they would give me the most and waive the rest of the core crap because I had the associates degree. I went to City and got their bulletin and looked up all the possible BS degrees I could get. I narrowed it down to geology, biochemistry, and psychology. After a long talk with myself, I decided that the psychology degree would be the fastest degree to get and would get me out of this nightmare. So off I went.

My first semester back, I was still seeing the Captain, and I was annoyed at how annoying he was getting. For my birthday, he gave me various flavors of potato chips, corn chips, and soda. In case you missed that, HE GAVE ME POTATO CHIPS FOR MY BIRTHDAY. HELLO?!?!? WTF KIND IF GIFT IS THAT?? Oh wait, my bad, he also gave me a box of chocolate covered biscuits. Hmm...

Breaking up with him was a long process and when it was over I was pretty happy. I could concentrate on my work and school. And now wait for stupid ex boyfriend to "talk" to me about "our relationship." This really was a nightmare.

So I graduated with honors and wondered what would happen next. All the while, that conversation about my relationship with my ex never came up. Spring came and went, summer came and went, my graduation ceremony came and went, all sorts of crap came and went, and no conversation. Hum okay. So I decided that this was not going anywhere and made plans to get out once and for all. This is where my evil genius had to come in again.

I started applying to various jobs in my company but the kick was that they were in different places in the country. When those werent working out, I learned more about the tractor trailer driver position. I thought I had a good chance if I got my CDL-A before I applied. I applied for one more position - and got an interview! - before I decided to get the license using the tuition assistance program at Fedex. I passed my test on December 26, 2006 and started to apply right away. I saw an opening in Arizona and applied without delay. My dream to go to Arizona was right there in front of me!

In the meantime, my ex was trying to get a job as a dispatcher. I encouraged him, helped him put his packet together, and even helped him get a suit together. He got an interview and was offered the position a little bit before I was offered the position in Arizona. He was concerned about me taking the position in Arizona and I told him I would think about it. I then told him to take the dispatcher position. So after he signed the form, I suddenly decided that I would take the job in Arizona. Most people I knew were sad but he threw a hissy fit and that pissed me off. Oh and by the way, there was still no conversation.

By the time I had to move, there was nothing he could do about it HA! The stupid thing was that when I came back to visit not even two months later, he decides to throw an engagement ring in my face. I said I didnt want it and that we had to end this ridiculous relationship. He was all boo-hooing and crap and I was annoyed again. There I was, years after Ive been out with this guy who had all the chances in the world and decides the best time to show me his intentions was AFTER I move 2500 miles away? Is there any sanity left in the world?

As you can see, Ive been trying to get to Arizona for a while now. And after all this time, I can see I don't want to live out my days here. It is a nice state. Phoenix is kind of lame though. The only things I can say about this place is that I at least had time to stretch my legs, maybe grow some wings, and clear my mind of all the people that got on my nerves. I am currently in a nice relationship, but we'll see how long it lasts.

As for career: Im working on it. As you can see, Im not all that eager to go back to school

:: Jane Dee 3:41:00 AM [+] ::
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Resting a Bit

Well hello again. Not sure who I am talking to, but hello anyways!!

I finally updated some of my webpage. I got around to publishing what I had done for my travelogue page. Check it out! My next pages will be my two road trips in 2001 and 2003. These will take longer because I have an idea for the background that will take me a while to compose because I do this stuff myself. Don't expect my latest trip to Hawaii to be up anytime soon... try at least two months from now, lol!! It's okay, just pretend I didnt go yet!

I still havent heard back from that application. I better start seeing some comails next week!

So here are some of my plans for the future:

1) Buy toilet paper - oh wait, wrong list...

1) I will definately get my private pilot's license with intrument rating and commercial endorsements - just to keep my options open. There is a school in Florida that looks interesting and I dont have to spend all this time as an instructor. But the worst case would be I can fly airplanes. Sounds good to me!

2) I plan to move from Arizona in the near future. If I get the aformentioned job, it will be in the very near future. If I get the aformentioned job, I will express my interest in being domiciled in Newark or JFK. That way, I can buy a house on Long Island, which is number (3), and live in it. If I do not get the aformentioned job, I will conduct a search for a new full-time position in Anytown, USA. Once I get the non-aforementioned job, I will begin to save money to buy a house on Long Island, but not live in it, unless Anytown, USA turns out to be Islip or something.

3) The economic downturn, or recession, or whatever is the phrase it is called today, has made some houses on Long Island more affordable to me. This means that I would like to purchase one of these discounted or forclosed homes. Wheather I live in it or not is explained above in number (2). Be it known that I am looking for a house on the south shore, from Freeport to Copiague-ish. Ive already seen some fine specimens on the market already.

4) Once house purchase is near or complete, I will go and exercise my options in terms of education. If I am able to complete the flight training, I will. If not, then I will think about it some more.

Right now, I need to wash my hair. And do the laundry. And then make dinner.

:: Jane Dee 9:32:00 PM [+] ::
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Economic Downturn!

How shitty! Normally I wouldn't care about this kind of crisis, but now it's personal. See, I was supposed to use the equity on my boyfriend's house to fund my flight education, but apparently the stupid stock market is making everything/one crazy and driving the "value" of houses down. Well, this imaginary value was supposed to help me get in the sky. I guess I can't now. So I'm annoyed. My only option left now is to wait even longer or go to normal school and get those easy-to-get government loans for "real" school subjects like history or communist studies.

@%$#&^% @$*&!!!!

My only consolation in this ridiculousness is that I had applied for a really fabulous trainer position recently and I hope (no I mean I BETTER) get an interview because I have ALL the qualifications and more. DAMMIT! I better get a nice invitation. Then I better get the job. This is the kind of job I am looking for. Well, we'll see. I THOUGHT that if I didnt get it I'd continue training for the flight stuff but I GUESS NOT. HUMPH!!

And I feel stupid because I was reluctant to tell everyone about the flight thing and now look. I won't even be able to do it anyway... HOW STUPID!

Ugh.

Well, at least Hawaii was nice. Tomorrow I will spend all day trying to finish up my webpage like I said I was going to do for the last four years.

Sigh.

:: Jane Dee 4:38:00 AM [+] ::
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Whoops

Missed one.

:: Jane Dee 4:37:00 AM [+] ::
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ALOHA!

Well, Ive got some news, whoo-hoo!

First off, I have finished moving all that dreaded stuff and I am free from my apartment. Now I just have an enormous mess to sift through! Like I said previously, I have Lion King stuff up for sale soon, any buyers out there?

Secondly, I am finally going to check off all fifty states off the list of "Been There"! That's right, Im going to HAWAII!!

I am going to have a fun filled week of island hopping! Im going to Ohahu, Kauai, and Hawaii! All my hard work saving and shopping at the 99c store paid off, lol!

Because of this (and the week it took me to finalize the travel plans), I am determined to finish all my unfinished business before I head off there so when I come back I can start my pilot school unencumbered. That includes posting those damn pictures on my stupid webpage. Ugh. Its making me sick already. Almost as sick as all that crap lying around everywhere in the house. It's just so hard to get anything done during the week. Its a cross between throw everything out and start over and cant wait to put everything in its place. bleh.

Anyhoo, despite having to deal with clutter everyday, things have been going well. Im set to get a full raise next round at work because I scored another perfect score on my review. Go me! Right now the volume is down because the economy is slow so we are now allowed to take days off without pay. I elected to take this Monday off so I can get some work done at home and organize all this crap already. The weekend after I finish that (which should be next weekend) I will have that rootin'-tootin' garage sale and try to get rid of all this crap.

Right now, I am just trying to find a waterproof case for my camera, but the outlooks is dim.

:: Jane Dee 2:49:00 AM [+] ::
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The End Is Near

Ive been living in my apartment for about a year and a half and this is my last month before I move in with my current boyfriend. I have to say I will miss the place. I am going to get some more stuff out tomorrow (actually today) and by the next weekend, I will get my big furniture out and be done with all this moving crap. Im kind of stressed out because it's so much work. Not to mention all the stuff I have to sift through to throw away or keep or put in the "garage sale" box. I have so much Lion King crap to unload that selling each item for two or three bucks should bring me a hefty profit.

As for the flying thing, well, it looks like I cant start until September or something. I wasnt able to schedule the class around my job for this round. I was thinking that maybe I could get a private license somewhere else and then go to that school. There are plenty of places to get a private, then at least I'd be done with that, you know? Well, we'll see. I wasn't too upset about not getting the class in this round because I am kind of overwhelmed with the moving and all. Since I can only get things sone on the weekends, I would probably need until September anyway! Sigh...

Of course, there are a lot of things Ive pushed back on the ever-present to-do list. One such item is updating my webpage to the PRESENT. Geez. It was such a task to get the new logo and layout up, I cant imagine how long it will take me to finish uploading the rest of my stuff.. actually, I HAVE uploaded stuff, I just havent made any pages for them yet.

This weekend will be all about the kitchen area and the rest of the small stuff in my apartment. It's hard to organize my room with the bed not there, but I have to try. Then I have to go food shopping. Then do the laundry. Then a million other things that I forgot to do last week. hmm.

Other than that, things have been going well here. I finally bought new glasses and Meux Meux is doing good. Speaking of MxMx, she gave me a gift yesterday... a little Mediterranean gecko! She found it for me in the kitchen and I scooped it up. It's quite cute and I will post some pictures later (of course).

I know there are other things worth mentioning, but like I said, I just havent had a chance to get my shit together.

And now Im going to bed.

:: Jane Dee 5:13:00 AM [+] ::
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Hot Day Outside

Having an outdoor job means that I have to work in the Phoenix heat. Today it was 116 degrees Fahrenheit. My job is to drive a truck into a designated area (more like, a couple of cities) and load pallets onto my truck at places that called for my services. Normally, I sit in my truck and wait for these "pickups," but when its very hot, I cant stay in the truck without it running because I need the A/C. So I have to go inside a store or someplace similar so I don't melt. What's interesting about the heat is that not only are you hot from the sun beating down on you, you also get a "hot breeze" when the wind blows and reflected radiation from the ground. I've never experienced heat from all directions until I moved out here. Im not sure for how long it will amuse me, but it's a way to take my mind off the 3-D heat when I am working outside with heavy things.

I do have some bad news: I think I am bored. Most of my life Ive been not bored but for some reason, I think Im bored. I hope that going to school will help alleviate this growing problem, otherwise I will have to get another job or a new hobby of some sort.

My other concerns as of lately are: 1)Will I suck at this flying thing? I mean, maybe I am overestimating my spatial abilities here? 2)Will it disappoint me? Because although Id finally get to try out some secret fantasy of mine, I don't want to build myself up and say "eh, it's okay." I need some passion and honestly, this is all I have passion for at this point. Would I go back to "real" school if this doesnt work out? I don't know.

Other than that, I have been reading a lot of books. I owe Scottsdale over $2 in library fines. I also think it's time to throw away my old lounge shorts Ive been wearing since high school. The butt is threadbare and has developed holes. I don't know which year I got them, but I know that many nights of studying have been logged in those shorts in high school and beyond. I have other boxers with spaceships on them but these are my favourite red plaid shorts. Even Lou noticed they were the old ones from high school. Such a shame to see them go.

:: Jane Dee 5:14:00 AM [+] ::
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Stupido

I just felt like saying that. I am annoyed that's all.

Im going home tomorrow night. Whoo-ee.

:: Jane Dee 1:27:00 AM [+] ::
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BUCKEL UP!!!

I was in Wal-Mart (Lou's FAVOURITE store!!!) buying some groceries and came across "Los Pericos" brand tostada shells and thought it would be great to make tostadas for dinner. Ive seen this brand in some Spanish supermarkets in Queens so I looked at the ingredients (to see if it has animal stuffs in it) and noticed its made with LIME! So I said "wow, these must taste awesome!" I made the tostadas for dinner tonight and saw that there was a website. I went on and before I could turn around (because I was eating as I was entering the website) I heard the website.

Los Pericos Foods Feel the quality!!!! (Yeah cuz I always feel up my tostada shells)

I thought I made a mistake with the address but it was correct. So not only do you get a dose of KTU style music, you also get some dancing sugar cubes on what appears to be engineering draft paper and some kind of bar shooting out of the parrots' feet. Without the music, and certainly without those little parrots looking at you from the corner of the screen, one could mistake the Los Pericos website for a high tech motherboard manufacturer or the US Army. But the taco shells wouldnt fit in so you may think you are looking at some top secret, futuristic taco shells that um... that uh... don't make you fat!

Holy crap! If you want an even more extravagant food/music experience go here.

CLAMATO MUEVELO!!!! ES SABOR!!!
This site has people doin' the Clamato!

In other, more serious, news, I will be making a visit to the Island to see my mother and do I-don't-know-what. I think I want to bring back a few more books and such. I also want to show her the brochure for the flight school I am considering. After this trip, I will severely limit my going back there. One, I have to save for Hawaii and two, I have to save for flight school. I'm pretty excited about the flight school. I hope the next round of classes is in the morning so I can get it done with.

:: Jane Dee 4:13:00 AM [+] ::
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I Don't See A Change

But what did change is my cholesterol levels!

When I was 17 and 18, even up until I was 23, I had normal Cholesterol. Then I started taking hormones for various reasons and that brought my cholesterol up to a whopping 251! That coupled with stress and bad diet (eating out too much because my mother had plants and birds and crap in the kitchen) led to these ridiculous numbers.

My very handsome and flawless boyfriend is a vegan and that means he does not consume animal products (on all levels, i.e., no leather, pearls, or wool, etc.). Being his girlfriend means that I have to adapt to his eating style, which is fine by me because I always like a cooking challenge. I learned how to cook some really wonderful vegan dishes, invented my own, and have been eating very little animal protien. I don't even buy any meat anymore because I would be the only one that eats it and I cook for both of us so that would be terribly wasteful. The only time I eat meat is when I go to Whataburger or Del Taco or some other fast-food joint or buy some cold cuts. I do buy milk, but I've always drank skim milk anyways. My meat consumption is probably kess than 4oz a week now.

This little change has caused me to drop a whooping 41 cholesterol points in a little over a year. Can you belive that? My latest cholestertol reading was 210, the lowest its been in four years. I am assuming that if I drop the hormones, my cholesterol will be back to normal, but they help in more ways than one so I was hoping the diet would bring it to a reasonable area. I am actually excited to see my next test. I hope it goes down but I sure hope it doesnt go up. I will definately let you know about that because if you want to drop points fast, drop the meat and start eating more soy products.

And let me tell you my fabulous boyfriend is no skinny, bird-boned, lettuce eatin' vegan. He is very meaty and cute. Ask Lou, she'll tell you.

And I have not felt deprived. I just get extremely tempted by bacon every now and then but I've always had to fight that. You know when I see an egg and cheese and sausage or bacon buscuit I just........

In other news, I went to an optometrist and let me tell you, these "health-care partners" always turn out to be such assholes. They think they are actually medical doctors or something. Anyway, my eye "doctor of philosophy" walks in the room and the first thing he says is how I need Acuvue Oasys. Huh? What? Ughhh. I hate it when they try to change my prescription. I said I liked Baush and Lomb he says he doesnt prescribe it because its no good. Yeah uh huh. Im sure he doesnt prescribe it because B&L doesn't give him a commission. Well, anyway, I tried his stupid Oasys lenses and they suck! Almost as soon as I tried them on, my right eye was feeling funny and I kept squinting. I told him that and he says that "you have to break them in." WHAT?? What the hell is he talking about? That is why you measure my eye, asshole. Contacts are supposed to fit the moment I pop them in. Ive been wearing contacts for 15 years and Ive never heard of this "break-in" period nor have I had contacts that felt funny in my eye. But he seems to think he is the EYEMASTER (no joke that is the name of the chain) and knows best and also told me that its normal that the lenses feel worse by the end of the week... uhhh so okay then when is the break in period going to kick in??? Helloooo! Why do optomestrists think they are so smart? What he says doesnt even make sense! Ugh. Anyway, I wore the lenses for about two and a half days because I CANT READ WITH THEM. On my job, I have to read tiny little numbers and input them on my PowerPad (a device we use at Fedex to pick up freight) and with his supposed great contact lenses I couldnt see shit up close. Sure I can see far away but I couldnt read the numbers. Then I tried to read my book on my break and I couldnt do that either without rubbing my eye over and over. Then while I was driving I kept squinting my right eye. The same eye that I should be breaking in I guess. Well, I took them out because I need to see to drive a truck and do my job. On Monday, I have my "follow-up" (another waste of time) and I will tell him that his lenses suck and that I want the type I was wearing (Acuvue Advance) or that if he insists I get a silicone type that he make it the B&L brand because I was successful with that. If he doesnt, then I will have to call the insurance and complain about his stupidity. I bet he will be mad that I don't like the Oasys lenses and say that I did something wrong.

In other optic news, I finally found some glasses that look nice on me... now I hope this guy wont be a jerk or else I wont buy these glasses either (and spend my $600 somewhere else).

:: Jane Dee 4:00:00 AM [+] ::
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Opened Up the Comments

So let's see if it screws everything up on here...

:: Jane Dee 3:56:00 AM [+] ::
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Back Again

Continuing on the topic of civilian avaition education, I want to share another compelling reason as to why I should go into aviation, despite the not so hot outlook of the airline industry (even though Im focused on the airCARGO industry):

I took the Stanford-Binet at age 5 because my parents wanted to see if one of their kids was going to be a money-making genius. I wont tell you what I got but the comment was that I am operating at an 8-year old level, blah blah... anyway, the part of the test I totally rocked into the next dimension was the "Abstract/Visual Reasoning" section. I don't remember the whole test but I remember when I had to replicate patterns with blocks and they kept getting harder and harder until she (or was it a he?) showed me this outrageously difficult pattern that I could do, but I knew would take me like 20 minutes or something. It had like, five colors and a pattern that could only be seen if you looked at it far away. So I was said "ughhh" with a groan and he laughed a bit and put it away. I put my head down and thought "How many of these is (s)he going to make me do???" Needless to say, I scored in the "superior" range. This means I can see stuff really well! LOL! No, but it does mean I'd make a good pilot-y person. Check out this article about spatial ability and what it means. I must say, this is almost completely correct! Now you know why school is boring and TO THIS DAY I have not memorized the multiplication tables.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

:: Jane Dee 5:42:00 AM [+] ::
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हे लूकित! आईएम ट्रांस्लितेरातिंग!

Well anyway, I declare to you on thsi blog that I have reached a decision on a few things.

First of all things is that I picked a school. Two years and 2,500 miles after graduating with the 8-year plan, I have finally declared a major and a school to which I will declare it in. Ready?

School: Air Safety Flight Academy
Location: Glendale/Phoenix, Arizona
Major: Commercial Airline Pilot Option
Start Date: July 14, 2008
Cost: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ (about $65,000)

Think Im crazy? Let me give you some facts you may not know about moi:

When I was about a sophomore in high school, I started to become interested in astronomy which led me to learn about astronauts. By the next year, I was determined to be an astronaut by enrolling in the USAF and being a pilot, majoring in math or something sciency and applying for an astronaut spot. Well, the first thing I learned was that NASA's "pilots" have a height requirement that is too tall for me. Okay then, maybe, I thought, I could be a mission specialist? Well, okay then, I'd still like to enroll in the air force and be a pilot but to be a mission specialist, you need to be even more sciency, like a PhD in something sciency, not just a air force pilot with a degree. Hmm. Okay sounds okay. On with the plan...

I graduated high school at 17 and the only way I can go to school and fly in the New York City area is to go to the ROTC. Well, okay great, but one problem - my father doesn't want to sign me up. GREAT! Now I have to wait 'till Im 18 and then it will be too late for ROTC so I said "Fine! I'll just sign up for the regular Air Force!!!" In the meantime, I was hating my current school (LIU Brooklyn campus), and looking up requirments for the air force and astronauts. Well, well, little did I know that although my height is okay for a mission specialist, my vision SUCKS! Well, okay I'll just get lasik.... So of course I was spending all my time looking up astronaut stuff instead of Air Force stuff and this caused me to take a very long time to stumble on avery important piece of information: You cannot be a pilot for the USAF if you had corrective surgery on your eyes. They specifically look for the scars.

Although I can't recall the exact words I said when I saw that, but I bet I didn't say much because my mouth was probably 3 feet wide and my eyes were filling with tears. So not only did my piloting and military career go flying out the window (no pun intended), my astronaut future looked really, well, shitty. The only way to be an astronaut now was to go to school for years and years and then apply as a lowly scientist of sorts and hope they call you back. What's wrong with that you ask? Well, I may appear smart and really good at science, but I don't necessarily LIKE it! "WHAT" you say? Maybe YOU go to school for some weird sense of accomplishment, but I only go and do well because it helps you get a job. And it also makes people think you're smart and stuff like that so they don't think you are a loser. If I had no reason to go to school other than to get a job to support myself, do you think I would go? NO! Are you crazy?? School is so boring and not to mention filled with people who believe everything the teacher says. Go ahead, look at my "record" and it will show you that I have been unfairly labeled as a bad kid. Why? Simply because I didn't take crap from teachers. Why else would I leave a fancy (pfft) private school for grades 13 and 14 (aka Kingsborough)? Why else would I "take a break" from school? Because I can't stand it! Why do you think it took me 2+ years to figure out what to do next? Because I don't want to pay $60,000 to go back to "school" to do more boring crap!
(I have felt this way for a while; here is an excerpt from one of my first blog entries: ">>>I got paid and my paycheck did not heal any wounds incurred this week at work, and there were many. It's always pleasing to know that I live in such a nice country that lets me get a career. Unfortunately I am unable to do what I really wanted to do, but well, I can do something just as nice. Can you imagine if I had to work at this place as a permanant job to support myself?!?!?? Oh lordy! I mean, I like working there, but it's too much work for such low wages, and I make more than minimum wage! Sheesh! School, school, school... is there another way? I don't see one.")

Back to what I was saying: my chances of being an astronaut were now about 0.

So what now? I don't know!!! WTF!!! So I can't fly in the AF because Im blind, I cant be an astronaut pilot because Im too short, and my last hope is relying on me doing something really awesome in the field of I-don't-know-what to be a mission specialist or some kind of crew member. Okay so off I went working at a math degree, no wait is it EE, no wait is it physics, no wait is it astronomy, no wait it's none of the above because I SUCK and my home life was becoming a national disaster with each passing day. Although I managed to get my AS degree, getting the BS was going to be harder than I thought between my family, 9/11, my own economic recession, and poor job prospects.

When I started blogging (the excerpt above was taken from an entry on February 7, 2003) I was about to enroll in the Nursing program at Kingsborough. Two days later I blogged about how "...After all this, I may still be able to [sic] joing the US Airforce. The basic training doesn't look THAT bad. However, the simulated sniper thing looks a wee bit intimidating. But only a wee." The conundrum going on was that if I resigned to be a "nurse" I could never be an astronaut because nursing doesnt count on the list of "approved fields of study" that would allow you to apply to be an astronaut. Therefore, I decided that I would still go to the AF anyways and figure out what to do there... maybe as a nurse but more maybe as someone who gets to be near the planes... I took a practice test of the pilot test for the AF and I scored really well. Higher than enough to allow me to be a pilot. However, like I said, I couldn't be a pilot or even a navigator because of my poor eyesight. For many years, I assumed the rigid vision requirements of the military was the same for regular airline pilots not knowing you don't have to have perfect vision to be "just" a commercial airline pilot. (More on that later.)

Instead, I resigned to the crappiness of reality and said "I need to get out of here. I need to get out of my house and far away from certain crazy people." Nursing was supposed to be a way to get out and make money and worry about the other stuff later. What happened was that I had "... to do my boring classwork which I feel is geared towards humans with low IQs, or at least a learning disability." and "My MicroBio prof says "The best way to study is not to open the lab manual while listening to KTU..." My Watered -down-physics/chem-class prof says "What is this?" [referring to a tissue] He says "It's a piece of paper. What is it made from?" A student responds "Tissue!"

I convinced myself that I was doing the nursing thing to make money and that it wasn't so bad. Meanwhile, deep down inside I felt like another loser submitting to the lure of a boring job to make a living. I can go on and on about why nursing is not for me (and why they should stop trying to pretend it is a science). You can read all about that in my archives if you'd like to. BUt to make a long story short, I left the program because that too sucked. Now for the next chapter of my life: Git 'er done (or however you are supposed to say it).

I am more familiar with the last three years of my life only because it is what propelled me to get where I am right now. I put all my wants aside and finished the aptly named BS degree in something easy. So whats not easier than psychology? Will it get me anywhere in life? No. Will it help me write down on applications that I have that degree? Yes. Well, that's all I needed to know. At the same time I started working for Fedex and became curious as to all the really cool-sounding jobs in this "transportation" industry. Oh I see, that's what you call it. Yeah that makes sense given things go from point A to point B. What? you people make how much to do what? Truck drivers make WHAT?? Yeah I could have made the money I make without the BS degree. Why am I not shocked? All the while, secretly dreaming about planes and how cool it is that I work for an airline.

When I moved out here to be a truck driver, I still wished I could have been a pilot. I knew all about the flight schools here in Arizona. I still had that mental block though; it just wasnt possible. Choosing a grad school took so long because I just didnt want to go. What happened was that I thought ASU's logistics program was available part time. It is not and after much research, I would only be able to attend ONLINE school (for the same price) unless I wanted to quit my job. Not likely. So I procrastinated. Who wants to decide which ONLINE SCHOOL they want to go to to do something that isnt exactly what they planned at a very high price? I wanted to use that degree at Fedex. And to be honest, they don't really give a crap about what degree you have. Yeah sure maybe it will get you a job, but knowing someone and investing time in the company matters more. And as it stands, I don't even have enough full-time equivalent years to even be considered. So is it worth it? I don't know. Maybe... maybe not.

My current boyfriend, whom I admire very much, is the one that put me up to this. He too wanted to be a pilot. Maybe not as long as I wanted to be one, but he had attempted it. Anyway, he does not have perfect vision and after seeing me sad one night and after I explained to him a similar story I am writing on here blog, he informed me that you don't need perfect vision to be a commercial pilot, you just have to have it be corrected to 20/20. What? Lucky me, my corrected vision is 20/15... could he be telling the truth???

Yes he was/is. If I go to a civilian school, I only have to have vision that is able to correct to 20/20. I didn't believe it so I went and got a First-Class Flight Physical. This is the physical that would qulaify someone to be a commercial airline pilot. When I passed and she handed me the little card, I was more dumbfounded that I have been so dumb this whole time than over anything else. To make matters even better, my insurance paid for it!

So here I am finally ready to make my deepest dream come true. Fedex even offers tuition reimbursement for pilot school! So when I took those tests that tell you what you should be and "hands-on career" always popped up, I always thought they meant plumber.

Of course, I may not make it and I could do really bad and waste money doing this. The difference is that this is something I really want to do. The school I am going to is the only school that has part time schedules and it fits perfectly around my job so I cant at least support myself in the meantime.

So there you have it decision #1 has finally been decided.

Second of all things is that I am going to move in with my current boyfriend into his HOUSE into my OWN ROOM of course. Any guy that still wants to date me and has read this far into this posting can be assured that I do not plan on breaking up with this person anytime soon, so the best course of action is to look elsewhere. I can also assure the aforementioned guy-looking-get-me that I will not be coaxed nor persuaded to dump the current boyfriend, so don't try.

Thirdly, Im getting tired. See you later when I more decisions to drone on about.

:: Jane Dee 2:39:00 AM [+] ::
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That Last Entry Was Stupid

yea

:: Jane Dee 2:25:00 AM [+] ::
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Hi

Not much going on here. Maybe you'd like to see a video?

:: Jane Dee 5:51:00 AM [+] ::
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Time To Catch Up!

Wow! I finally have stuff worth posting! Well, a lot has happened since my last post and I have pictures too!

March 17, 2008

The luckiest day of the year for leprechauns and Irish people is now for partial Canadienns too! Today, I got to drive the full size, 53' tractor trailer to Intel and do a pickup of a whooping 43 skids... and load them by hand. Needless to say, this took a while, about two hours, and then, I had to drop it and hook back up to my little pup. That was quite an adventure!


I know you can't really tell just how big the trailer is, but trust me, it's big. Apparently just like the size of this picture. Sheesh.

April 2, 2008

I pass my physical WHOOOOOOO!


April 5, 2008

ARIZONA TRUCK DRIVING CHAMPIONSHIPS!

I've been a truck driver for a 'lil over a year, but because I didn't run anyone over or crash into something, among other things to qualify you, I got to compete in the annual truck rodeo for my state, which in this case is Arizona. I woke up early on a bunch of Saturdays to practice the course and took time off of my vacation (!!) days to compete. I entered the straight truck course because I am more comfortable in that vehicle than a pup (three axle). So, according to them, I am "already a winner because I am competing." Okay. Whatever. Sure!


It's Team Fedex! (No, seriously, that is what we are called)


Some members of Team Fedex are busy looking for the cookie truck.


WOW! I look TOTALLY cool! (We were kinda forced to wear the white hats)


My turn FINALLY!!


First leg of the course was "the grease pit" simulation.


Another part was "try to hit the 50 point line on this piece of plastic that is really hard to see especially when it is the same color as the dirt" challenge. I won't say who is driving, but he didn't score on this part.

After being toasted in the sun all day, I left a bit early to catch a plane to JFK. Oh no my day was not over yet! As far as the competition is concerned, I got 7th place in the straight truck division. I also kicked ass in the interview! Go me!

Click here for scores.
Click here for the website.

April 5 - 10, 2008

After a long day at the TDC, I flew to JFK, packed up the rest of my belongings on a skid I managed to piece together, missed the Fedex pickup because, sent my doves via USPS (even though they all find their way onto a Fedex plane), miscalculated the time needed to get to JFK, almost missed my flight, plane was late anyway, cried a bit from fear and joy, was stuffed between two dudes on a full plane, got queasy, took forever to get to PHX, yelled at a wannabe cabbie at PHX, got my doves at the ramp the next day, got my skid at the ramp the day after, unpacked the skid, had some allergies, and am now wondering where the hell Im going to fit everything.

Anyone interested in some Lion King stuff? Well, at least I got to eat some good chinese food. My doves made it okay. I had to keep them in the bathtub for a day because of the screwed up pickup. The plan was to have the skid come before the birds so I can set up their cages. Well, whatever.

April 12, 2008

NASCAR! What?

That's right! A friend at work won tickets from Fedex to attend a NASCAR event and invited me to go! I've never been to one so I couldn't pass it up. The seats were really good too! The race was the "Subway Fresh Fit 500" and was held at the "Phoenix International Raceway" even though the track is actually in Tolleson. I guess no one would know where the track is if it was called the "Tolleson International Speedway."

After some research, we decided to use the "park and ride" option offered at the "criket pavillion" a few miles away. For $7, you park at the arena and then they bring you to the raceway via cheesebus!


See?


A pretty day and crowded stands. The gates opened around noon so there have been people here tailgatin' for about 5 hours already.


Although I look better than I did at the TDC, I still brought along my cheesy white Fedex hat to cheer on our car (#11, Denny Hamlin)!


The PIR sells spots on that hill in the background. This reminds me of the bleacher creatures, but I am not sure if the people on the hill are as rowdy, but I am sure they are more drunk.


Everyone yells "START YOUR ENGINES!!!" and then the cars take their place.


This is the clearest shot of the Fedex car I took. I apparently left the close-up on, crap! The other shots I took are just a big lilac blur. The car was painted lilac to draw awareness for the March of Dimes. Hamlin was wearing a March of Dimes race outfit and the hood of his car had a big ass logo for the MOD, all in this intersting lilac color.


When a car is finished in the pit, the driver squeals away and creates all this exciting smoke.


Though premature (no pun intended), I took a picture of Hamlin's best position early on. Lo and behold, it was the truth for #11 and #48! Hamlin finished third after securing that position after the target car (don't know the number) decided to blow a steering hose and spew steering fluid everywhere. Red flags went up and clean up crews had their day.


All other shots of the #11 car pretty much looked like this.


This place was packed and as the race went on I got some nachos.


Here is what most of the cars looked like whizzing by. Let me tell you that these cars are fast. And loud. So loud that we needed earplugs. Maybe it's because we had such awesome seats?


Did I mention this place was packed?

Although we left a bit early to beat the crowd out of the place, it was a rather interesting experience. It has inspired me to make a super cool, NASCAR inspired film about the day. The first scene is about everyone slowing down at the yellow flag because some jerk decided to hit something. After a really cool scene transition, you will see what its like to be in the pit and all the action that happens there. Then after the most coolest, awesome scene transition, you get to see what the cars look like when they are going full speed. You will get to see how 40 or so cars can zoom by in a matter of seconds.

Click here for the super cool NASCAR inspired film about NASCAR.

Going to this event was a great treat brought to you by Fedex. Denny Hamlin took third place and I found two bucks on the bus. What a day! Oh and they gave out free Juicy Fruit and Lemonheads at the exit gate.

April 14 - 15, 2008

An unexpected lucky break lets me have an extended vacation! However, the A/C doesn't work and its 95 degrees... no sweat (har har) I got my trusty Puerto Rican Air Conditioner!!!

See myself at work tomorrow!

:: Jane Dee 3:18:00 AM [+] ::
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Headache Time!

Lucky me I have a headache! Anyways, I know I don't post results from online quizzes and such, but I thought this quiz was appropriate:

You are 73% Arizona!

 

Good job! you're almost all arizona! you understand most of arizona, but just need to figure out the rest. more time and more mexican food and you're there!

How Arizona Are You?
Take More Quizzes

Ive been here for a little over a year and I like it even through the 115 degree summers. Nothing like some blazing hot sun to get you going in the morn'. In Phoenix, I learned that it "cools down" to 100 degrees at night in the summer. I also have a farmers tan that I do not wish to share with you and yes, it is also a truckers tan (i.e., my left arm is approaching a "pecan" shade whilst my right arm is more of a golden tan). No, I have not been burned despite my ghastly appearance when I first arrived here in the valley. I used 70+ spf sunblock when I arrived and I still got tanned. I assume that if it is anything like last year, it will be about 95+ degrees by the end of this month (March). It is very interesting to have an outdoor job in the desert. When I have to prepare pallets outside in the sun, you really get aquainted with ultra-violet radiation and how easily it reflects off of concrete. I would have this funny "wiggly" feeling deep in my skin when I happen to be standing full blast in the sun with the radiation also reflecting back on me. I am assuming that is my melanin trying to block all this light and create my farmer tan.

I am hoping it slows down at work so I can get back to doing nothing.

:: Jane Dee 3:00:00 AM [+] ::
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Happy Leap Year!!

Good for me because I've been so busy that I have until tomorrow to pay my rent.

Note to Captain Kirk: Please stop trying to contact me. I don't care how great everything is, I dont need to know. The only crazy person I would ever talk to is the crazy professor. I think Im supposed to meet up with him in 2014.

:: Jane Dee 11:06:00 PM [+] ::
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Finished The Video

Hey, I finally finished my moving video! I finally found a song good enough and it all came together. See it here. (or here)

:: Jane Dee 12:01:00 AM [+] ::
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My One Year Anniversary!

Hey can you believe that I have been in Arizona for a year now? I can't! It seems like I just got here. Well, I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be here because I am on a full on attack to get either a) a management position or b) a full time position so I can have a better chance at getting a management position.

I recently spent a whole Saturday (which is one of my days off) "self-studying" the "sliding clear log" and "planet station" among other things. I am also self studying some "tortes" (which I like to pronouce 'tort-eez') that my manager gave me some copies of. I am wondering still how I will fit studying for the GMAT into my curiously busy schedule. You see, at Fedex anyways, when you are a part time worker you can work full time hours. Ive heard that when you are a full-timer, you sign your life away... well, at the minimum you work many, many hours.

Another problem at Fedex is that the better you are, the more work you get slammed with. I turned out to be a pretty darned good truck driver, and thus I am scheduled to do routes in places I've never even heard of or are not even on our maps! Just last week, I had to go to a place that was out of our map drawing jurisdiction, so I just made a really good guess and I found it, on time, and made super service that day, my dispatcher was amazed (as was I... I didn't even know I could drive/navigate like that). I'd upload my planet station map, but Im not sure if that is supposed to be secret Fedex information so I guess you will have to take my word that it was a crazy day. The next stop after that was not as successful at first because I was going the right way, so I thought, and ended up on a skinny dirt road that finally ended in circle surrounded by cacti. It is quite an experience to go "off-roading" in a tractor-trailer because if you suck, fear can easily land you in a ditch. And then you will get in trouble for being an idiot.

The only present conflict I have is that I really want to participate in the Truck Driving Championships, but can't if I get a management position first. I know getting a management position may be more important, but the TDC seemed really fun. I went last year and I liked it. All I had to do to qualify was not hit anything/anyone until I need to register (this year). I haven't! Well, I guess I will see what happens. In the meantime you can check this out.

I guess I should go to bed and ponder my life some more.

:: Jane Dee 3:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Action Plan

I have some boring news and some less boring news. The more boring news is that I renewed my lease for only another 6 months and they raised my rent about $35. So to make up the difference in cost I have to drive the speed limit once again. Phooey. Well, at least I got my carpet shampooed. I can only imagine how much cat fur they drew up from the carpet.

To celebrate the latest recession, I went out and bought a double burner griddle so I can experiment with eggless pancakes. I also just discovered how to make very good vegan gravy without using gravy mix stuff. Im still working on an even fluffier cake, but my cookies have been doing well. Hoo-ray lecithin!

I recently went home too see my mother and my old room. I sat there and decided that I would like to sell off my Lion King collection. Any takers? I don't even remember what I have anymore. I thought about packing it all up and sending it to myself here in AZ, then selling it (or try to) on ebay or amazon. I thought that by the end of 6 months, I should have sold at least one thing. Either that or have a big ass yard sale.

So whats with the title you ask? Well, I am thinking about the future and I have decided to develop an "action plan" (like my corporate jargon/slang?) to follow over the next six months so I can accomplish certain things. First off is taking the GMAT. Or, at least, study enough so I can get a good score by the end of six months. The next is putting my nose to the fifth wheel and obtaining a management position somewhere. I was thinking about coming in on a Saturday or early in the day to use the intranet and so on and learn the things you need to know to apply as a manager. I have applied to my old station but that guy didnt want to take me so I will have to go elsewhere. I dont want to apply all over the place cuz I will have to fly there if I am to get an interview. Tomorrow I am supposedly on my old route so I should have enough down time to think about my "action plan." I was thinking that once it is in writing, I can show it to my own manager (who will probably wonder why I am showing her this) and see if she can "facilitate" my goal to get a new position. I would like to work with her and score a job. My other option was that if I dont obtain anything by the end of six months, I will apply for a full time position elsewhere and work on my manager packet anew. At least then I would be getting paid more.

I was going to update my page but now Im tired and want to go to bed. Tomorrow, I get to eat oatmeal and do nothing at work! Maybe I should get another part time job so I can remember what it feels like to have a crappy job.... nahh.

g'nite!

:: Jane Dee 2:49:00 AM [+] ::
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Happy New Year

Wow, so another year has gone by and I dont really have any resolutions. Maybe one is to gain weight? I should start lifting weights, you know. Currently I am 140 pounds. Yes that is correct I am 5'2" and I am 140 pounds. No, I am not obese, I can just kick your ass. Anyway, I think it would be really funny if I were even heavier.

Other than that, I dont care much for resolutions except on my digital camera. Speaking of which, I am almost ready to upload a sheisseload of pictures onto my webpage so I guess you can look out for that.

The latest news is that I ordered a hoodie from Victoria's Secret only to find out today that it is now $20 less than I paid. !!! Not cool. The only thing I can say is that I at least got a free "Spice Girls Greatest Hits" CD WITH THREE NEW REMIXES with my now overpriced purchase if that is any consolation. But is it really? what I want, what I really really want? bar har har!

What the hell happened to my webcounter?

:: Jane Dee 11:29:00 PM [+] ::
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Seasons Greetings From My Truck!

Hey this is my first ever mobile-on-the-road-blog-post. Today was going to be slow so I brought my vaio and my sprint mobile broadband card and here I am transmitting wonderful things from Roosevelt Ave in Phoenix Arizona. The weather is nice here, about 60, unlike in New York where its probbaly like, 35 degrees. HA HA!

Anyway, I am in a very crappy truck. Its a Freightliner and its supposedly brand new but it blows big ding-dongs. The seat has too much air give and I go flying all over the place everytime I hit a crack in the road. Second, the liftgate switch is way too high so this truck discriminates against those of small height like me. HUMPH! I would have rather have taken a pup instead of this crap. In fact, I would rather have taken a SPARE straight truck than this thing. Maybe I should conveniently put it out of service, har har.

Well, anyway, have a great Christmas and New Year. Bye!

:: Jane Dee 2:08:00 PM [+] ::
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WHOO HOO!!

It's finally done! I've finished updating my webpage! Take a look! In the meantime I will be adding things and updating this blog.

maduniverse.com

:: Jane Dee 3:07:00 AM [+] ::
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According To Some Websites, I'm 27!

Hey it's about that time I get a year older! So how do I celebrate? By not celebrating, Whooo!!

Well I do have some things in mind. First of all, I think I figured out how I would like to change my webpage. I know its been sitting there for some amount of years now and all this time I'd either had nothing great to put up or didnt have the time to edit so many things. So since I have become an adult and live on my own and support myself 100%, I should change my website to keep up with me. Gone are the days where I had hours and hours to conjure up something witty to say about some dude I went on a date with. Nope, no more philosophical essays because I dont want to write any right now. I'm not in school so I have hardly anything to complain about. No yucky food or the run around from the graduation office or the stinky A train. Basically my life is now centered around trucks, air logistics and other things in the shipping arena, making food, and wondering how I can invest some money. And of course finding a suitable partner to spend many years with. So I plan to simplify my page and include things that are related to what I am doing now.

I am still undecided about school and I think that if I stay here for an extended time, my best bet would be to take the online program at ASU. The good part is that the online school can be taken anywhere and if I move or transfer, I can still enroll or remain a student. I know Im going pretty slow here but grad school is expensive and the MBA is the ONLY subject Im interested in at all so I want to make sure it is what I want to spend thousands of dollars on.

So now I am off to work on some changes to the webpage.

:: Jane Dee 6:22:00 PM [+] ::
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Okay, now with the current post

And there is not much to say!

Life's been pretty good. I may go full time by next month which I guess would help me get started investing some money somewhere. The trucks have been behaving themselves. I still havent hit anything! I drive the trucks good, but I still have to work on my backing.

I still havent decided on what to do about school. I may actually take the online MBA option at ASU instead of taking real classes, especially if I go full time. What sucks is that it costs the same as attending class so the only benefit is just that you can take the classes anywhere (even in my truck!!). But Im in no particular hurry to spend $40K on virtual class. Im not even in a hurry to get a managment position although I like the sound of that better than school. Im not quite finished on my "packet" to submit for management positions, but Im almost done.

So like I said, nothing terribly interesting to talk about. Same 'ol.

Laterz

:: Jane Dee 11:17:00 PM [+] ::
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Whoops

i forgot to write something for october so i am back dating this.

:: Jane Dee 11:15:00 PM [+] ::
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Had a Clever Title, But Forgot It

Here is my montly update so it seems. Everything has been going well. Ive been working on my next steps towards career and whatnot. Ive been having Popcorn flashbacks thanks to Louisa's link.

The weather has been cooling off here in Phoenix so its hovering in the 90s now instead of the 100s.

I am supposed to get a pin from Fedex for being such a safe driver for two years now. Yeah, when you are a driver you get rewarded for not hitting anything. Or anyone. In my case I get some kind of pin. I guess if I ever get it (I never received the one for my first year) I will show you. Im surprised Ive not hit anything here... actually let me rephrase that. Im surprised Ive warded off being hit by the crazy drivers out here in my pup. The drivers here are just awful and I think anyone who doesnt get hit here should get two pins.

I havent gone anywhere lately because of the heat. Its no fun driving far in the heat. I am hoping that I can ride my bike a bit when the weather gets into the 80s.

School is still on my mind and no, I do not know what I am doing or where I am going. My next career move will determine that.

My car now smells like gingersnaps. I may have dropped one under the seat?

Well, Im all out of news. See you next month, hopefully sooner if something interesting happens.

:: Jane Dee 4:11:00 AM [+] ::
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Wow, an update!

It seems when I left school I had less and less to write about on here. As it stands I update this thing once a month just to keep my archives current. Its not a bad things but I just remember updating five times a day with thoughts on bacteria or something. I suppose the reason of this thing back then was to channel some angry energy into something minutely productive. Well, I thought about this blog and my website for a while and even though Ive never finished my moving video, I do plan to change this blog and webpage. I just havent really had a great theme lately. Since I have some free time at my work, my brain has been creating a new backdrop for my blog or so and I am beginning to see what I would like to do. Although I would like to keep the space theme on my webpage, I really want to change this blog in some way.

Anyways...

my life has been pretty stable and normal lately and I am very happy about that. I do have a problem. Of course all problems revolve around school and it annoys me that it still gives me problems. So here it is: I am not goingto ASU afterall. I did a lot of research at all the schools I can find and one of like three schools Id consider going to is in all places New York. In CUNY. Yeah its Baruch. I am so annoyed because that school is the only school I found that offers a very VERY flexible schedule and they dont care how long you take or if you are part time one semester and full time the next. They also offer my next choice major which is an industrial organizational psychology MBA. Unfortunately, ASU does not offer I/O Psy MBAs and the part time program is ONLY general management, which Im not dying to pay $40K to study. Because of Baruch's flexibility, Id be able to stretch the classes out over a few years which will reduce my out of pocket costs because I get tuition reimbursement.

So here is my new plan already in progress. Currently I am in Fedex's "aspire" program which is a course of training that helps you become a manager. What I plan to do is become a management candidate and apply for a position in New York, preferably Long Island if I can help it. Then I will hopefully get a position close to school so I can take classes and get my MBA. I hope to buy a small house in Suffolk and then move somewhere else (like maybe back to AZ) and visit my home on LI when I want. Or maybe one of my friends can rent it from me. In any case, that is my plan for now.

Oh yeah and to show that I was set on this, I drove all the way to Los Angeles to take one of the required classes in this "aspire" program. Here are some pics:

These fans were not spinning...

I think they help blow that smog around.

Nothing like overcast and surf.

Or a washed out rose with a bee.

As it stands, I will have to leave Arizona and go back to New York for a little while. At first I was bummed, but I think that going back with a job I like and anticipation of school will help me adjust once more. The extra incentive is that once I finish that, I can leave anyway, unless I love it so much... hmm, not banking on that but okay.

I do have other news, though. I finally am able to drive the pup without feeling scared, sweaty, and nauseated. I finally can drive it comfortably enough that I dont dwell on it all morning and have to play "99 luftballoons" while driving to calm me down. See here:

One of the better pups.

No, I do not need a booster seat.

What I drive in Phoenix. I drive a straight truck in Scottsdale.

Take a look inside the pup. Well, the tractor part anyway... You can even hear 99 Luftballoons in the background!

I guess that is all the news for now. It's been hot here. My electric bill gives me the average outside temperature and according to APS, the average last month was 97 degrees and this month has been 93 degrees. I think the hottest day so far has been 115 degrees. It hasnt been so bad. I think the humidity is way worse in NY and no matter what some "'zonie" tells you, the "monsoon" season is hardly a monsoon and there is hardly humidity. I think the humisity lasted about two weeks tops. And its not even close to what NY humidity is like. Right now it says Brooklyn is at 93%! The highest I saw here was around 70%. Gimme a break. Anyway, I pretty much made it through the summer and I am not dead nor am I running for the mountains because I cant take it. This is "ok." And its not like I set my thermostat real low. I set it to about 80 degrees when I come back from work, about 78 at night so I can fall asleep, and I leave it around 88 when I go to work. No, Meux Meux is not going to die. She's fine. In fact, she is gaining too much weight. I had to but lower fat cat food for her. And I bought her a cat drinking fountain because she loves faucet water. I hope she likes it, I cant return it because I bought it on Amazon. Oh well.

Well, goodnight!

:: Jane Dee 4:25:00 AM [+] ::
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Ow Me Leg

Today is Monday so that means that I drive a pup trailer and that means that my legs hurt from all the clutching and such. I took a truck that wasnt so hard to drive so at least that was good.

Ive thought about it long and hard but Ive made some conclusions about the next year or so. The first conclusion is that I have a vacation set in November and I have signed up to take the first steps towards management at my current company. In the meantime I plan to read more about the process and hopefully get better aquainted with how it all works. Also in the meantime, I plan to think some more about school. I think that I will not be going to ASU after all. Maybe. Of course I havent visited it recently but I think me going there wouldnt be so great after all. I think that if I can get this training and get a management position at work, Id be much better off in the long run because then I will a)have better work experience and b)have a better job in the meantime which means I wont care so much about school.

Blah Blah Blah... whatever.

The only thing I know as of this moment is that I am formulating a better idea of what I want to be/do.

Eh, this entry is boring me. Ive nothing good to say anyway excpet the usual confused school crap. If I forgot about school altogether, Id have nothing to think about. Sounds like a good idea, ha!

:: Jane Dee 4:02:00 AM [+] ::
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Hot and Headachey

Hey I noticed its been a year now since graduation and look at all thats happened! No, I don't attribute my "success" to school, but it makes for a good time marker.

Things have been going well around here. I finally drove the pup for the first time by myself and I didnt hit anything (hooray!). I was very proud. So maybe I am good at something after all?

Work has been picking up lately. Ive been getting some extra hours picking up a very (I repeat, very) heavy stop over in Tempe. I sweat like a pig but I havent been happier in all my life. I feel like Im actually doing something useful. I am so glad I decided to go this route in life. I think when you finally do something you are inclined to do, it feels so very natural and doesnt clutter your life. Ive noticed my new found profession complements everything in my life. So Id say it is good.

The thing that concerns me most lately (and I am glad my list of concerns have shrunk down to this one issue) is what to do about school. Ive always wanted to go to ASU, but I am beginning to rethink the MBA program option. Im thinking that since I dont want to take on another job any time soon (and no Ive decided against coming back home to bid for a management position at my old station) I would most likely delay my entrance to grad school. So I gave some thought to the idea of going to school for a different degree. A masters in something else perhaps. It would be hella cheaper and maybe more interesting. I was looking at this applied psychology masters offered at ASU. Obviously it is not as fancy as an MBA but Im just keeping my options open. Im not dying to go back to school, but I know I should because I could do well.

I should get to bed. I don't know if I will fall asleep, but I should rest since I have a headache from working so hard in the heat. Today was 105, but tomorrow will be 110. Today felt hot. So tomorrow wont feel any better. I plan to bring my cooler with more liquids rather than my little water bottle that doesnt hold much. Wish me luck! Ive never worked in such high heat. High humidity yes. I guess after tomorrow I will see which one I can stand more.

:: Jane Dee 1:50:00 AM [+] ::
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Goin' Back Home

Tonight I got back home to Brooklyn, and I am excited/nervous.

I have a lot to do back home, so it wont really feel like a vactaion. I need to sort through the rest of my stuff and bring back some stuff to Phoenix. I am also going to try to bring back my bike. I am flying jetblue and they allow bikes in their cargo bay for a fee. I think their fee would be cheaper than shipping it Fedex so I think I will see about getting it on the plane with me.

Then I have to see some friends and my cats!! I miss Diablo :(

On wednesday, I have a Mu Alpha Theta get-together to go to at Kingsborough. I was never inducted into Mu Alpha Theta, and I remember asking one of my professors why and he said you had to have a good average. I had a B average which was all that was required. I dunno. I just spoke to the lady running the thing and she was also confused as to why I was not inducted. So maybe I will be inducted after seven years? Well, in any case, I am going because it would be nice to see KCC again. Free snacks help too, lol.

Then I will go shopping for some never ending summer clothes! Its been over 90 for a while now and its been over 100 for the past few days here in the Vally of the Sun. By the way, when they say it gets sunny here, they mean it gets sunny. I have a trucker tan on my left arm. I never thought Id be tan again. Well, guess things have changed.

Speaking of change, many things have changed for me in the past few months. You know, new job, new skill, new city, new home, new school opportunities (ASU FINALLY!!!) new everything basically. I feel very good about my choices lately. I dont make a shitload of money but I can support myself and that was something I always wanted. And my new job is freakin' awesome. I dont mind working (and sweating) in this heat at all. I like it! Sure beats highs of 13 degrees! I drive my truck and I am getting so good at shifting. I am finally becoming excited about my other route that I have to drive the big dawg on. Ive gained a lot of confidence on my current route and getting used to these transmissions. I drove the pup (28' trailer; tractor) and I wasnt too bad! Even the Fedex Freight guy at one stop was impressed that I backed up in the hole all straight given my minimal experience. Now that made me feel good.

Im also going to visit my old station (ZYP) and my old ramp (JFK) to see some peeps! I wish I could give out some Arizona gifts but there isnt much that is very unique here except like cactus jelly but those can be gross. Maybe I should let everyone try the hard water!! LOL!!! I miss NYC water. It tastes so damn good...

Well, I was supposed to getting my stuff in order. I was supposed to be writing down the things I need to bring back or buy or whatever. I guess I should do that. So next time I write I should be in BK!

Oh yeah, here are some pics of some places Ive visited since being in Arizona:

This is is Lake Havasu City, where the London Bridge is now located:








This was when I went to Sedona with my mother. I didn't know what to do there and the pictures weren't that great. Maybe next time I will know what to do out there.


This was at the Tonto Natural Bridge. There was a waterfall and all, but I didn't have enough time to complete any trail. Maybe I will next time.






This picture shows the steepest incline on a sign Ive ever seen.

:: Jane Dee 12:55:00 PM [+] ::
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Okay So Far

Its been one week all by myself in Scottsdale and things have been alright so far. Next week I am to do the route all over again, which is cool by me. However, I was supposed to get some pup time but that was scrubbed because someone called out. Eh. I guess next week, I will practice on the crappy two-position trucks before my route. I don't intend on taking them on this route just yet because of the difficult transmission. I think I will have to one day. Only because I will need a bigger truck or something.

The trucks the ramp uses are basically Freightliners with some Internationals mixed in. Not sure what the cab over trucks are but Im not fond of them anyway. Then there are the straight trucks which are easy as hell to drive unless they have the crappy tranny.

So would it be okay if I were to forgo grad school and use the 50K to buy a tractor and be an owner-operator? Hmmm....

:: Jane Dee 4:16:00 AM [+] ::
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All By Meself

Yesterday marked the very first day I was sent out into Scottsdale all by myself to pickup stuff. It wasnt too bad and I wasnt that scared after all. I did have a tiny truck though. Monday I will be all by myself again and if I find a "two position" truck, I will take it so I get used to that sort of thing. However, Im still supposed to practice in the "bad" trucks and come next Monday, its back to being nauseous because I will be back in the pup trying to learn the damn machine.

Everyday, I ask myself why I went into this field. So I just keep saying how much I love trucks. Over and over. And over.

Im okay so far. Ive been better but I guess I just have to get used to everything. I know Im under a lot of stress and I hope I can get the hang of everything. I guess some things take more time that others.

:: Jane Dee 3:18:00 AM [+] ::
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RTD BABY!

I am official! Today I got pinned and I am now an RTD!



One of the instructors took pictures and he said he would foward some to me. When I get them I will post some good ones.

Im not off the hook yet, I still have to call early tomorrow to see whats up.

But hey, Im RTD!

:: Jane Dee 12:32:00 AM [+] ::
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Put Back The Archives

Ever since Blogger "upgraded" I lost my archive links. Well, Im not going to upgrade my blog "just because" so I had to do quite a bit of searching to get the archives back up. I think compact style is better than that long list, eh? Well, I think Im going to bed.

Or am I going to play tetris???? ;P

:: Jane Dee 2:43:00 AM [+] ::
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Still In Class Somehow

Okay so Im still in class... but I am not sure what that means. Im pretty sure I passed my backing final. I did hit two cones on my parallel park.. I didnt hit any when I was doing the jackknife parallel park and that was the first day I attempted it. I am assuming I passed... why would I still be in here if I didnt? Well, whatever it means, it's over and I was finally able to relax.

The next morning (after the final) I was so exhausted from the day before that I either had no salt or sugar left in my blood because I was dizzy as hell, could barely stand, could barely talk and was extremely nauseous. So after almost and hour of feeling woosy, I made myself throw up, and it worked. I felt better enough to drive to work and just kept eating once the coffee relaxed my stomach. I brough a big bag of pretzels with me then, because we were on our city/rural drive, we stopped at a QT and I bought and ate a banana, donut, and twix bar in about 56 seconds. My instructor was looking at me with a weird face. Oh well. Then later I ate at burger king, then when I got home. Besides my yucky beginning, I did well on the city driving and my shifting ability made me feel better about my driving.

Yesterday was our overnight drive. We started our day at 1am and I was so happy because I knew that I wouldnt be tired for once! We drove towards Tucson and when we came back, we stopped at a Love's for breakfast. I had the buffet (cant pass up all you can eat eggs and bacon) and it was pretty good. Then as we were driving back, I fell asleep a bit, and my instructor was staring at me and when I woke up he said "You were caught!" so I said "SO! Everyone else was snoozin when I was drivin!"

So Im not sure where we're going next week, but I have to study for my pre-trip, post-trip, brake test, couple/uncouple final. I need to make sure I get a good score.

I guess that is all for now. Its good now that I feel better and my stomach isnt in knots.

The other instructor for this class has been taking pictures of us and he said he'd email them to me. hehehe, I have to see these pics!

:: Jane Dee 11:36:00 PM [+] ::
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The Worst Class A Driver Ever

Its already been a week of training and tomorrow is the backing final and I am scared out of my mind that I will fail because I havent been able to do the serpentine all that great and I screwed up on the parallel park today. I dont want to fail because I dont want to have come all this way just to downgrade to a courier and I don't want to look stupid because I have a Class A already. Naturally, everyone will assume I should ace it. Well, driving a truck is hard. Let me tell you, school was easier. Maybe not differential equations or the theory of calculus but the rest of it was easier. Maybe you dont quite understand what this all means to me?

This shit means everything! For once in my life I found something I want to do and here I am screwing it up. I just hope that if I fail, I can get a road test in a straight truck and still keep my route. I don't know if that is the case though but we'll see.

To explain how anxious and scared I was today about tomorrow (and after learning we had to start coupling/uncoupling tomorrow and thenafter (is that a word?), my heart was beating so fast and I started to have to control my breathing.. no, not an asthma attack, but pure anxiety. All day I was so nervous and scared that when I saw my instructor's cigarettes, I kept saying I was going to take one... and then he gave me one and a light too... I was in heaven. SO now you know... I was so anxious and out of control that I NEEDED a cigarette. Boy was it good for a Marlboro. And I hate Marlboros. But it was divine. I was finally able to digest my lunch. I relaxed. I was actually okay for the rest of the day.

Pathetic huh?

Well, not if you were in my shoes. I mean, the pressure is really on me... Im sure a lot is expected of me because of my fancy license and all those damn endorsements. (yeah I have all the truck ones, hazmat, tanker, doubles/triples, passenger) So naturally everyone is going to think I can drive! This sucks. I dont want anyone to laugh at me. Im doing the absolute best I can, honest.

Well, since Ive never done one here is Lou's meme thingy

1. Can you cook?
yes
2. What was your dream growing up?
to be a figure skater.. then a baker... then everything got screwed up.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
mathematical ability.... or good vision and a few more inches so I could have been a pilot.
4. Favorite place?
probably the Grand Canyon, but Montauk/Long Island is pretty much tied... then there is Maine.
5. Favorite vegetable?
cabbagge of course.
6. What was the last book you read?
Does my Tractor-Trailor training manual count?
7. What zodiac sign are you?
sagittarius
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
yes
9. Worst Habit?
trichotillomania is not a habit, but close enough
10. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?
DEWEY? yes
11. What is your favorite sport?
bike ridin'... but if driving counts as a sport then drivin'
12. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
what a stu- I mean, great question!
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
say 'ok, hoist me up'
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
ive blocked it out of my conscious memory
15. Tell me one weird fact about you.
uhhhhhhh..... i cant do artithmetic with more than two numbers in my head
16. Do you have any pets?
well, now I only have a cat and dried prehistoric shrimp eggs, but I had a bunch of birds
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena?
hell no
18. What time is it where you are now?
8:10pm (MST but without daylight savings time)
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
i never understood the purpose of clowns
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
my eyes would be green or blue... anything but brown!
21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience?
huhhh??
22. What color eyes do you have?
see Q.20
23. Ever been arrested?
no
24. Bottle or Draft?
beer sucks... generally speaking
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
pfft! that's it? Dang that wouldnt even payoff a year of grad school! But i suppose id put it in a CD and think about it.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
i fancy chewing gum
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
i dont go to bars
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
i think they do exist, but I dont think they appear as much as people claim
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
See Q.11, but since gas is expensive and i left my bike in Brooklyn, right now my favorite thing to do is daydream whilst listening to muzak
30. Do you swear a lot?
ive cut down significantly
31. Biggest pet peeve?
i was never clear on what a pet peeve really is, so i dunno
32. Biggest success?
graduating from hell
33. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
fluid
34. In one word, how would you describe me?
undulate

well, I guess its time to practice my truck maneuvers (sp?)

Wish me luck....

:: Jane Dee 10:19:00 PM [+] ::
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The Eve Of Boredom

Im so bored.

Its the weekend and I am very bored. I absolutely hate having to resort to watching TV. I walked over to the mall nearby and it was soooooo lame. I sorely miss the malls on Long Island. At least everyone dressed up.

UGHHHH!!!!

:: Jane Dee 9:58:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh Looky, I Updated Something

I updated my facepaint. Hurrah!!

:: Jane Dee 12:23:00 AM [+] ::
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Not The Same Without Oil

There is definately a difference in making those hashy things when fried in oil or "fried" in a non-stick. I did both to see if they looked or tasted and different and oil is the differentiating factor. The oil makes them take on an undulate shape so as to separate them from pancakes. The oil also gives them a "snack" flavor, not something to be devoured with syrup. The oil also doesnt make the sides perfectly brown like a pancake. It gives them a rugged, multicolored face, with peaks and valleys colored black, brown, gold, and yellow. The oil makes a much more attractive hashy.

Id upload a picture, but Im too lazy right now. Maybe in a bit when I feel like updating my "facepaint" after a year.

:: Jane Dee 7:31:00 PM [+] ::
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I Know What I Can Do

I can use up all my milk before it expires by making little fried thingies my mother used to make called "hash." Its basically the same recipie as a pancake except no soda and a lil more salt.

cool.

:: Jane Dee 6:36:00 PM [+] ::
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Waiting For The Dryer

I just had breakfast/lunch and I am soooo sleepy now... I am doing laundry and I am up to drying them. Not sure how much time I have left... I will go down in a few minutes I guess.

So as I was saying yesterday, I have had this blog for a while. I was reading some of my old posts and all I can say is that I really had problems. I mean seriously, who goes to school as a distraction? Well, all the amount of cramming I did when I went back for nursing seems like a big waste of time. Let me just say this: what was I thinking?? I mean, I guess I couldnt assume that I would come out to Arizona to drive trucks, but why the hell did I do nursing? My best excuse was that I wanted to get a job asap after finishing so I could finally move away bu come on! Well, I guess I will never understand a lot of things I have done in my life.

BRB, laundry time.

Still not ready. hm. Anyway, today is pretty boring again. I woke up and washed my car at a wash place in Glendale. It was a lot better than the one I used the first time in Phoenix on Camelback. This place actually sprayed out soapy water. The asshole downstairs has been quiet all day. I wonder why. hm. I bought some plant food... yeah its boring here. Its a nice day though. I wish I could go drive or something but Im not sure how great that would be. There is this amusement park down the road from me. And a Sears... I don't like Sears though.

Well, better check on that laundry again...

wowwee, it was done... now I have to fold everything... wow, that was fun.

I guess I will stare out the window for a bit.

:: Jane Dee 4:40:00 PM [+] ::
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ITS MY 556th POST!

I just realized that Ive had this Blog for four years now (February 2003). Thats pretty amazing. I also realized that my webpage is now almost FIVE years old (April 2002). But I dont see the archives... where did they go? Well, I guess no one would want to read them but me anyway. And after reading some of my oldest blogs I also realized that my Tylenol pill holder is also four years old! My how time flies.

It all seems so far away because Im in a better situation in life now than I was in 2002/2003/2004. Those may in fact be the worse years of my life. So hurray Fedex for making it all better!! Therefore I fiercly defend my company. Look at me now! No more miserable, disoriented student! Im now a Ramp Transport Driver! I work with big planes! Yay!

Now I have to figure out what to do with school...
Will I get into business school or will I have to get a regular masters in some psychology crap? I guess I can think about it more when I settle in my job. Right now Im still in training. I start my truck training next week, so its more 0500 wake-ups for me. Yuck.

I think I already said that this "city" is boring. A lot of people here are ugly. No style either. I see a lot of mustangs but no cute guys drivin'. The best looking guy Ive seen is this giraffe at Fry's supermarket. He talks like he's from "the slope" though. He could be gay for all I know, but he's the best looking so far, and he aint even all that. If I had a picture of him, I'd show you so you can see what goes for "good-looking" around here and youd can see that this city is way below average in the looks department. They have way too many cracked-out looking 40 year old women wearing midriffs in broad daylight. Ew, come on! I dont need to see that. And everyone is so wrinkly because no one wears sunblock even though they live in a DESERT. Hellooooo! I bought cotton gloves to drive in so I dont get wrinkly from driving too much in the sun. But that is just me and I must look crazy for doing so.

Tomorrow I have to do laundry. The thing about laundry here is that they use DRYERS in the desert. LOL! What is wrong with everyone? How do you use a dryer when you get sunshine all day?? Oh lord. I bought a drying rack and strung up a line on my balcony. I cant put ALL my clothes in the dryer. I just dry the underwear and stuff. I hate the way clothes feel coming out of a dryer and they are so wrinkled! Eh. I guess im not cool, huh! LOL!

As you can see, not much going on. I dont want to drive anywhere because I need to save my gas for work.

Anything else??? Maybe I can work on my webpage? I dont know... my new "desk" is pretty uncomfortable.. we'll see.

Ok Im bored again. I think I will go to sleep.

:: Jane Dee 2:20:00 AM [+] ::
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Outta My Mind!

I am bored...

This retard that lives directly below me blasts his stupid death metal music and I squealed on him cuz it was shaking my floors and my dishes. So today when I come home, I hear his dumb shit again so instead of going ape shit on him, I just vent by wiping my car down a bit. He comes to his car a bit later (which is parked next to mine) and asks me "are you the one who told the building on me?" so I said "Who are you?" and it goes on from there. Apparently, he says hes sorry but then says he'll fight me and says that the Mexicans that lived here before me didnt mind. Uh huhhh whatever asshole! Just shut the hell up. So in any case, I was thinking that since he told me he works nights, I should give him a piece of my mind when I have to wake up at 5am again to do truck training. Like run back and forth and do jumping jacks. Eh. He probably wouldn't hear me cuz Im sure he's deaf at this point.

Anyway, Phoenix is pretty boring. Not that Brooklyn was so exciting, but I liked living in a house. With all my cats (even Diablo). I also miss the soft and tasty water. I have to buy bottled water now because the brita filter cant get that nasty taste out. Bleeeechhhh. I also dont have my bike, any instruments, and no crafts. When I come back I have to take some more stuff back here cuz I am BORED!!!

ARGGHH!!!! THIS PLACE IS BORING!!!

:: Jane Dee 12:26:00 AM [+] ::
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Hello From The Valley!

Hello everyone! Its me saying hello to all of you out there from Phoenix Arizona! I finally had the time to sign on and update a little. So here is the scoop:

I got my confirmation to come to PHX as seen in my last post. So essentially, I had about one month to get all my stuff together and come up with a plan to move to PHX. Everyday I would go online to look for apartments and calculate costs etc etc. So after a little hesitation, I sent back my offer letter and came to PHX. I left Brooklyn around 4 pm Saturday afternoon and go to PHX around 5pm that following Monday. I practically drove straight through. I completely loaded my car and drove with my mother. I "slept" about 1.5 hours tops in a few different states along the way. I hardly ate anything. When I finally got here (lets not forget I also came with my cat) I was pretty exhausted but I still had the whole week to get everything set up. I had to unload the car and wait for an 11 piece Fedex shipment of the rest of my stuff. Then I had to go out and buy the rest of it. I got the bed and an eating table, but I couldnt get the couch because it wasn't going to fit in my car. So I have no couch, but I did bring my black seat thingy so Im ok.

So the whole week I had off, I was working hard to get all the stuff I need. Everyday I was buying buying buying and I was TIRED OF SHOPPING. UGHH!!!

Its only today that I finally finished organizing my apartment!

The week after my "vacation" I had to go to work so a whole new set of stuff to do emerged. Not only do I have to wake up at 0500 mst (mountain time), to get to class at 0700, I had to do a million things after class like get my license and my plates and my social security card etc etc etc. As you can see, I've been very busy.

But today I finished my tasks and now with a tidy home, I can concentrate on the other things I need to do. Like my taxes.

So for now I am in training and I am waiting to get some "wheel time."

I am also sleepy so good night!

:: Jane Dee 1:07:00 AM [+] ::
...

!!!!!!

HOLY CANOLI!!!

Have I got news for YOU!

You will not believe what happened!

I GOT A POSITION IN ARIZONA!!!

Driving the tractor-trailors!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know what this means??

First of all, I shouldn't mislead you all, I knew I got the position a few days ago, but today I found out (well actually yesterday since its like 4am) that all is ready to go. I sent my acceptance notice, I got my apartment (its VERY nice!!), and my mother didn't take it as bad as I thought she would! She was actually happy for me. I was shocked. Really shocked.

I start at PHX (Phoenix airport) on February 19... that means I have to get all my shit together within a couple of weeks. I also had to cancel going to Mexico with Lou so I could use a vacation week to move there. They better give it to me because Im just going to leave. I am also hoping they give me my reimbursement for the CDL-A without a problem. I know these people can be stupid (see how long it took for my CDL-C reimbursement) so I have to go there tomorrow to make sure he doesnt bullshit me.

So now that a lot of my stress about leaving has been lifted, I am going to start packing soon. I also have to get my car fixed and inspected before I go. I have to install the hazard light so I can pass inspections over there if they are that stringent. Or not.

When I wake up, I have a million things to do!!! And I also have to make a million lists!!!

Shoo, this is hard work.

:: Jane Dee 3:47:00 AM [+] ::
...

Packets Away

My first application packet arrived in Phoenix today... I am anxiously awaiting another packet from Phoenix to send back. I am very excited to be on the "A" list of candidates for Phoenix! I have been kept up at night thinking about all the things I will do and need over there. I think about how I will move there (I just found out that with my Fedex employee discount, I can send everything there for waaaaay less than it would be to rent a U-Haul. My Plan is to Fedex my non-breakables such as clothes, shoes, books, and uh... thats about it, and pack in my car my electronics, breakables, and animals. I guess I will have to leave my fish tank behind. I may also leave the budget birds, but take the doves.

So here is my list of potential items I will ship via Fedex:

-Most of my clothes and shoes (I think I may leave behind the fur coat, but at the discount rate I get, I can afford to take both my closets)
-Office supplies (I'd say "school supplies" but I don't want to act like Im still a student)
-Select books (definate books are Calculus, Anatomy & Physiology, Volumetrics, Earth Science, Holy Bible(s), choice astronomy books, cookbooks, and work related literature.
-Paper files (yes, people actually still use file cabinets although I will have to get a new (cardboard) one when Im over there because mine in metal)
-Tools I currently own (I will leave the belt sander behind)
-Any clothes drawers that cant be disassembled

And here are the things I will take in my car:

-Computer
-All electronics except my TV, VCR, and DVD player.
-Makeup
-Jewelry
-Spaceship Chair
-Select appliances
-Plates and utensils
-Birds
-Meux Meux ^_^

However, I will have to buy a lot of things when I get there such as:

-New mattress and frame (considering Aerobed because I hate cheap mattresses, but afraid the plastic will melt in the heat)
-Some sort of desk with chair for the computer (this one is perfect. All I require is a pull out shelf)
-some sort of eating table with a chair (unless the eating table becomes the office table and the eating chair is a rolling office chair)
-A lot of those big Tupperware trunks, although I may opt for cardboard so I can throw it out later on.
-Pots, pans, utensils, and big appliances like a microwave (unless the place comes with one... and I hope the place comes with a refridgerator!!)
-Other things I cant think of at the moment.

I went on a preliminary kitchen cost assessment, and I conclude I will spend between $300 and $400 on the kitchen alone. Throw in the rest of the stuff and I'm looking at about $1000. Thats not so bad.

Well enough time wasting. Ive got to hang my clothes and get ready for work. Tonight will be okay, but the rest of this week is going to be cold! I may have to break out the snow pants :(

:: Jane Dee 5:08:00 PM [+] ::
...

OMG! I HAVE MOBILE BROADBAND!!!!

Guess what I HAVE!!!
I have a totally NEW and AWESOME computer thingie!!! Its a Sprint Mobile Broadband Card that I plug into my PC II slot and PRESTO! I have broadband speed ACROSS AMERICA!!!!!

OMG I LOVE THIS THING!!!!
This is quite possibly the most awesome piece of computer equiptment I have got since the computer itself!

When my camera batteries are charged, I will display a picture of it for you! :)

Now, I have 30 days to evaluate this product. I am going to bring it to work with me today to see how it works. Then I will use it everywhere all weekend. Then, if its good, I will keep it and cherish until it burns out!

IT EVEN HAS A CUTE LITTLE ANTENNA!!! AWWWWW!!!!!!

:: Jane Dee 5:18:00 PM [+] ::
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Happy New Year!

I guess I am a little late with that greeting, but in any case...

My new license with all endorsements except school bus will be arriving in the mail soon! And without wasting any time, I have already applied to a couple of positions out in Arizona. I hope I get a "supplemental application pacakge" soon from them. I would be so excited to finally move there! Not only that, ASU is the school that offers the MBA with logistics concentration!

NEWS ALERT!!! NEWS ALERT!!!!!!

OMG! Fedex FINALLY reimbursed me for my CDL-C!!! HURRAHHHHH!!!!! JOYOUS MONIES! It's all there! all $178!!!!! I just saw it right now! HURAAHHHHHH!!!

Anyway, I went to the PBR Versus Invitational (the bull riders competition kickoff) at Madison Square Garden and I liked it a lot! Unfortunately, there were a lot of obnoxious people there, who were only there to make fun of things. In my opinion, why would you go to an event to make fun of the event? I don't get it. I don't think that's cool, I think that's stupid. Yeah, so they play country music and salute the flag.... thats what many Americans do. More reasons to dislike NYers. Snooty for no good reason. And extremely obnoxious when drunk. Not to mention unattractive. Being a poseur is never cool.

I didnt bring my camera because they asked for no video cameras so I didn't want to cause any trouble. I wish I did though. Plenty of people were "breaking the rules." I had fun though. I hope I can see another one someday - but maybe somewhere other than MSG, you know?

Not much other news here. Just waiting for my packets and a chance to move.
Im cold... Im going to bed.

:: Jane Dee 2:12:00 AM [+] ::
...

HOLY MACARONI!!! I PASSED!!!!

I Got My CDL-A!!!!!

I am extremely happy! NOW I can finally get started on a career! The only problem is that I will not get reimbursed until I am actually offered a trailor position at Fedex. Hopefully, I will get one soon because I am out a couple thousand dollars!! This also means that I will have to use tuition reimbursement money from the 2007 year so that means that I cant get any tuition money towards my MBA schooling until 2008. This may not be so bad in that I may have to first go to a crappy place to drive then transfer to another station near a school I like. We'll see. Right now, my main focus is getting a job. Tomorrow I will go to the DMV to take my last endorsement test, then go back again next week to officially get my license. Some driver dude from JFK Informed me that there will be some open position soon, so I must keep an eye out for that.

I STILL cant believe I passed! Holy Cow!

GO me! GO ME!!

Today I have a long day at work, so I better eat something and get ready to go.

So can I now officially say "Keep on truckin'!" ??

HAHAAHHAHHAHAAAA

:: Jane Dee 5:47:00 PM [+] ::
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HONK If You're Nervous!

HOOOOONNNNKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

It's 2:21am and although my bedtime is not usually 'till 3:30am, I don't foresee sleep in the near future. I AM SO FREAKIN' NERVOUS/ANXIOUS/EXCITED about what Lou called my "Mack Truck Driving Test." OMG the truck has a little mack dog on the hood!! (Not that one in the link, silly, this one is more like it)

I went over my pre-trip and air-brake test in my brain before.

My test is on Long Island. Probably right near where I used to work.

I definitely don't want to stall, though I made every conscious effort not to stall (well, not more than twice so I don't fail).

Hills (upgrades) kill me. I go into overdrive in my head and focus all my energy to make sure I DO NOT ROLL BACK. I get exhausted after a hill.

Though I have only bumped the curb once, I definitely don't want to on the road test. When I park I switch on the "PARKING PROGRAM" and follow through methododically. (is that a word?)

Speaking of words, I bought a 2007 Scrabble calendar filled with 365 scrabble puzzles. I've done all the puzzles through February 4th. With the help of the answer key of course, har har. I like Scrabble, but I wish I was "more better" in vocabulary. I need to brush up on, er, correction, build up, my vocabulary if I want to do well on the GMAT.

UNLAME is not an acceptable Scrabble word, but UNLICKED is. How?? How does one UNLICK something?? Oh lord, I need to keep playing Scrabble.

I think Lou's Pecan Pie made my skin itchy. Either that or I am more nervous than I think.

I have to "wake up" at 0800. 8AM People!! It's almost 3! I have no idea what to eat in the morning. I should eat a quesedilla. Not sure if that will work with coffee. I always feel like crap when I have to wake up so early. I am not a morning person. Don't plan on becoming one either unless it means salaried position at something cool.

Im hoping I pass because those jobs at JFK are coming soon. I NEED THIS. ARGGHHHHH!!!

Ive "thunk" myself to sleep! Im going to bed. Goodnite!!

Bonne chance, mucho lucko, bueno suerte, yadda yadda, all that jazz.

Tomorrow could quite possibly be the best day of my life. I should shut up. I dont want to jinx myself or something equally annoying.

NITE!!

:: Jane Dee 2:21:00 AM [+] ::
...

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas Mon!!

Hey it's Christmas Day and I am very excited because my road test is tomorrow!! I hope I pass. Then I can get a nice new job! Whee!

My birthday also passed and I got some great things! I got a cake from a few friends at my job (pineapple filling! Yum!) I got a perfume kit and a swanky pair of earrings that perfectly match this English ruby necklace replica I got from the museum. For christmas I got more perfume, chocolates, filet mignon, and a hat. Im still waiting on some stuff, so I will see what I get later.

Other than that, not much else is going on. I am definately excited about the road test. A coworker informed that a couple of truckers were retiring and thus two poitions would be opening up very soon. I would be so happy if I was able to stay here and work out of JFK because then I can move to Long Island and have a lot of schools to choose from. But then again, my rank is low so if someone else puts in for it and has a higher number, they may be considered. However, this guy was telling me that if ten people ahead of you have permits, but you have the license, they will take you over all of them. Im keeping my fingers crossed!!!! I want to finish this license this year so I can use the tuition money next year in case I am ready to start school next fall. I doubt I will be ready, but maybe I will be insipred or score good on the GMAT.

All this means that next year will be awesome! All my dreams will have come true finally - no more school, a great job, me finally moving out (I HOPE!!!) and starting on my way to a great career and/or grad school experience and new USEFUL degree. I cant wait. :)

So I hope everyone out there has a great holiday and new year, and I will see you soon, hopefully with some good news and a new license!

P.S.: I only have one more endorsement test to take (combination vehicles) and I will have ALL endorsements on my license!!! WHEEE!!!

:: Jane Dee 3:36:00 PM [+] ::
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Hey Laa, Hey Laa, My VAIO's Back!!!

Finally! My VAIO Has been fixed and I am officially online and ready for action!

I have a LOT of catching up to do, especially on that webpage of mine. I really need to change it around. It's been basically the same for years now. I wonder what I should do.

Well, in any case, I am very excited to tell you that my ROAD TEST for my CDL-A is December 26! Hurrah!!!! I hope I pass because I want to get a new job ASAP. I was sorta offered a position at my current station, but I think it would pay less. I guess I will see how it goes, but as of now, I am going foward with my trucking. I should have put in for a full time gig in New Orleans, but those always pop up. That and Atlanta. I would prefer Tennessee, but I don't think my ranking is high enough yet.

Other than that, I dont have much else going on. I have to wrap up my change and deposit it, if that counts as something, lol. I also have to get new eyeglasses tomorrow. Monday I go to the dentist.

Oh yeah, I think one of my friends forgot my birthday - AHEM. I guess I will send a friendly reminder when I send the Christmas gift.

Well, I like my refurbished VAIO. Now Im going to play tetris fusion.

:: Jane Dee 2:50:00 AM [+] ::
...

BRRRR!!!! Its cold in here living room!!!

Welcome to December! This month, I turn 26 and start on my quest for the "good job."

This month already started with a bang. Make that a bang to my bank accounts. I spent so much money on myself this month that after paying off all my bills, I will have a record low checking account since 2003. Of course that is just my checking account. Im not including my savings which looks ok to me. Har har. ANYWAY, I am very excited about this month because of many things:

First and foremost is my birthday. I have bought/received so many great gifts that I can be happy for many months to come. Which is good because I have to be on saving mode if I want to go anywhere good for vacation. I also want to finally get started on losing some weight, so my eating out spending will decrease dramatically. I must return to cooking meals at home and buying things at the supermarket.

Ive not received all my gifts from people, but I bought myself lots of clothes and jewelry, beads to make jewelry, shoes and other crap I don't need. I know I will be receiving a cashmere sweater and Givenchy perfume set from a very special person. THANK YOU!!!!!!!! The sweater will be awesome! :) Then comes Christmas! Im excited because I got some nice gifts for my friends. I cant wait to see what they think hehehe!

Anyway, Im very excited about the CDL-A as well. I have been doing well on the truck that I think I can pass my road test on the first try. I got my pre-trip inspection down, Im almost up to par on my 4 point air-brake test, and I only have to get better clutch control. Im so EXCITED! I hope I get a job in a nice place. I wouldnt mind JFK, but that will be unlikely given my ranking. When I get my license, I have to check out b-schools again and pick some choice cities in case they pop up. I can't wait.

Not much else has been going on in the meantime. Im waiting for my vaio to come back from the service center and I will be working on getting that up and running for a while. I also hope I can continue updating my webpage soon. Ive so many new pictures I want to uplaod but CANT. I also think my webpage really needs to be revamped. I am just not sure I need all those pages you know? My life isnt as exciting as it once was. I am also not as awake for as long as I used to be. I am sleeping regularly now so that takes an extra 3-4 hours of "online time" away. Not that I am upset about it. I like sleeping like a normal human being.

Hm, thats about it for now. Besides, Im freezing. I should go to my snuggly bed.

:: Jane Dee 2:02:00 AM [+] ::
...

Lots 'O News!!

Hurrah!

Great things have been happening lately and I am very excited! First off, I have finished ALL my holiday/birthday shopping as of today. The only one on the list that is left is ME... although I have already treated myself to some new wool shirts, I am thinking about one last thing for myself. Its a pretty pastel pearl bracelet I saw in a catalogue. I will continue to think about it.

Next in news is that I FINALLY sent ,y VAIO out for repair. I sent it via Fedex ina special computer box. Sony hasn't called me with the verdict yet, but when they do, I will definately ask them to use my shipping account for the return trip home. I want overnight delivery. I don't want my precious VIAO in a shipping can longer than necessary.

And now for the even more stupendous news::::: I started driving the tractor trailors!! YIPPEE!!! I started my training last week. I learned how to drive the clutch on a straight truck first then I moved on to "the big dog" as they call it in my school. I'm pretty good too! I was pleasently surprised. I hope I can get my road test by the end of this year so I can get my reimbursement from my job. Then I am off to a better job! YAYYY!!!!

But that is about all the crazy news I have. Not much else has been going on except for work and shopping. I guess that is a good thing. The only thing I think about is that this month (or is it technically next month?) marks the one year away from school mark and boy am I ever so happy school is a thing of the past. Well, stupid school anyway. I think its hilarious that my "alma mater" solicits me to donate money to their alumni society. HA! They are barking up the wrong tree. My mother suggested I send them a leftover 500 peso note from our last trip to Mexico. LOLLOLOL!!!!!!

Speaking of Mexico, once my birthday rolls by, I will begin to save up for my two vacations I have coming up. I am taking one trip to Mexico (most likely Mexico City... again... in the ghost hotel) and the other to a sunny destination. I am thinking cruise. However, I will settle for a trip to the Carribean. If not, maybe I will go back to San Diego or something. But I am definately going to Mexico.

After I get my new job as a "Ramp Transport Driver" (i.e., tractor-trailor driver for Fedex) I will begin my quest for grad school. Depending on where I land my first tractor job, I may consider school around that area, but I am not limiting myself to that. After 18 months, I would be able to transfer anywherehiring again. There are a lot of options. But that is the general, overall, big plan. After I get my license and get my new position, I will be studying for the GMAT and taking it sometime next year. I will then use that preliminary score to judge what schools I can get into and then start a tour of potential schools culminating into a great choice (most likely a private school) which will have elements of: me being able to keep my job, living in a great place, fabulous school environment, and fabulous school curriculum. The curriculum may not be in logistics, but I will settle for operations if it seems interesting enough or I am able to do it.

So now I must eat some leftover turkey. Then go to work. Oh joys!!

:: Jane Dee 5:31:00 PM [+] ::
...

Must Fix VIAO

Its been almost two months since my VAIO went crazy and Ive not fixed it yet. I think I need to do this fixing business on Monday. I just can't stand this computer downstairs.

So in the meantime, I went to Niagara Falls, had some fun, bought some souveniers and played some slots (on sacred Seneca land btw). I wish I could post up some of the footage, but like I said before, my VAIO is still broken. But I got a lot of good footage just so you know.

So what's new for me? Hm, not much. No good jobs have come up lately, but I did figure out how to do the tuition reimbursement at my job. So finally I can go and get my CDL-A and get my money back! Now all I have to do is figure out how to get my reimbursement for my CDL-C and we're in business. I am going to see my manager this week about the newest reimbursement and see what the progress is on the old reimbursement. I have a feeling I will have to ask the senior manager about getting my money cuz I need to fix my computer!!!! Dang it!!!

There is a full time shuttle position opening up in Ronkonkoma. I think I will put in for it. Why the hell not you know? I doubt I'll get it but whatever. I have nothing else going for me and when peak comes, I cant go anywhere anyway until January.

I am getting bummed about not having a real job (i.e., a job with a nice title. Shuttle Driver/CDL hardly makes the cut). I want to move away already but I don't think it's going to happen just yet. Ugh! There has to be a job coming up soon! Preferably in a different area, har har.

Bah, Im just rambling now. See you in a month, hehe.

:: Jane Dee 4:02:00 AM [+] ::
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God Wants Me to Finish the CDL

Unfortunately, I did not get that coveted instructor position. It was given to some dude who has an employee number 300,000 people before me. That roughly translates to about 8 - 10 years with the company. Not only that, he worked at an airport already, most likely working the GSE equiptment. Sigh. I didnt have a chance.

So lets see. Ive been trying to use this bachelors degree to no avail. Ive had better luck with the Associates. Ugh!

Sometimes, I wish I'd had finished the math degree, but then, where would that take me anyway.

So now that there won't be any more instructor positions (around here anyway) in the next year or so, what the hell do I do? Do I get a CDL position and get a job on the side or so I try for an HR position and get a CDL job on the side? Should I inquire about the fellowship? Do I get training for something or go back to school?

I suppose I wont be doing much thinking on this topic this weekend since I will supposedly be having fun. I guess I can call my rejecting manager on Monday to find out what I can do to strengthen my application. Im sure he will say "well, working in the field sure helps." UGH!

Somedays are just no fun.

:: Jane Dee 4:16:00 PM [+] ::
...

Still Waiting

So no word back yet on about the job. This is utter torture. I had a dream this morning that I was accepted for the position, but I think that is wishful thinking. The more time passes, the less I think I got the job. All I can think of is that someone else opened up their offer letter and is now sending it back, making the rest of us losers wait for our rejection letters. Sigh.

In other news, my computer is still broken because I have not sent it away yet. I am awaiting the answer first so I can better evaluate my monetary reserves. Getting accepted for this job will make fixing the computer a top priority, but being rejected will make it secondary to getting my CDL. I definatly need to move on and I need to do it soon. I just fear that I will have to get acrappier job in the meantime. We'll see, I guess.

Nothing else is new except that I am going to Niagara Falls this weekend with Lou. The forcast doesnt seem to look good for meteor viewing but it looks okay for the foliage. I have to take a different route to catch some better foliage. So I think what I will do is take a different route so we can see the foliage on the way there. Then that night, if the clouds disperse, we can see the meteor shower because the peak isnt too late at about 1 - 2am. Then we can wake up the next day and go sightseeing at the Falls and if that doesnt take all day then we can go to the outlet malls (lol) and other places of tourism. The next day we can do the same.

Hopefully, if I am to be rejected the letter comes on Friday when Im not there :)

:: Jane Dee 5:32:00 PM [+] ::
...

Coo-Coo Cha-Cha

So now that my interview is over, I await the decision. I AM SO NERVOUS! No matter what people keep telling me about how they will pick me, I just feel like they won't. I don't think I did bad, I just think someone did better than me.

What makes me think this way? Well, when I walked in, the hiring manager asked me if I needed anything like powerpoint setup. All I could think was "SHIT! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE DONE POWERPOINT!!!!!!!" BUt I just prepared packets for everyone that included my resume and a printout of my presentation. I hope that didnt turn them off too much. I am also worried that someone will be picked because they have more years in the company. He said that more senior people may apply but they may still not be the best fit. UGHHH!!!!

This is like waiting for a death sentence.

So now I am already planning for the worst and figuring out what to do when (NOT IF!!!) I am rejected. I am not sure. I am definately going to get the CDL-A but I am not sure if I would apply for a driving position or try to get the fellowship from the Board of Education. I am not particulary fond of working in South Shore high school, but I need to get the wheels turning here. I feel so useless at this point.

Well, I guess there is nothing I can do now but wait...

Im going to drink coffee.

:: Jane Dee 5:25:00 PM [+] ::
...

Holy Fizz

Can you believe that I actually got an interview for a real job on Wednesday? I can't! Im so excited! I have an interview for a travelling instructor position! How cool is that? Looks like my stint with teaching paid off somehow! For this interview, I have to go to Newark and give a five minute presentation in front of some managers. I have to call an HR rep tomorrow to get some tips, but that is basically it. They will then ask me questions and then I will have a writing assignment, probably to see if I am literate in English. So I decided that my presentation will be on my job and what you need to have to do the job and what is required on the job. Blah blah you know?

Im sure if I dont get it I will be very bummed. A job like this will not rollaround again for maybe a couple years. I just hope that I get it.

I even went out and bought a new crisp white shirt from Bannana Republic (is it just me or is that store name totally dumb?). I have everything set... I had recently bought a new suit (yeah one that fits finally... hard to believe Im a size 6) and shoes (naturalizers of course) so Im all good in that department. I have a nice lightweight wool 3/4 length coat I wore to my visit to Yale (lol) and I have plenty of new make-up to wear in case dark circles appear under my eyes from all the non-sleeping mayhem.

WOOOOOO!

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I have to get to work early to sort out my presentation. I am currently using a loaner laptop which didn't come with MS Word so I installed one of my old copies and it will only work 50 more times until I have to register it. Yeah well, Im sure I'll be done by then.

Some bad news: I apparently threw out my old iPhoto Plus 1.2 program! Dang! That was the best photo editor Ive ever encountered. So now, when my HD is erased, I can't use iPhoto Plus anymore, I'll have to use Photo Explosion or whatever silly name they give to it now. I installed it on the loaner and it works allright but I can't stand the "easy to use visual interface" because everything has a damn picture. Some companies expect their customers to be very stupid indeed. My old program was great. They didn't waste space with stupid pictures... how much more straightfoward can you be with "Rotate left, Rotate right, and 90, 180 degrees???? SHHEEEEEESH

Well, I guess thats all for now. I just figured I'd recap my life before I dissappear for another week or so. Hopefully, my interview will go well and I can give you some good news about it later on.

Now, Im going to sleep. Gotta buy folders and stuff tomorrow!

:: Jane Dee 3:24:00 AM [+] ::
...

Too Lazy to Fiz Anything

No people, I have not fixed the VAIO yet. I don't know when I will, but I assume by next week. I hope they can fix it without charging me too much. Maybe I should have traded it in when I thought... nah, I like my computer too much.

Anyway, tomorrow I have to call up a manager that Ive been in contact with about a position Ive applied for. It was crazy these past couple of days because I got rejected from one in Memphis because I hadn't included the ENTIRE "performance review" so since I didn't care much for that job, I took that opportubity to call up the ither bid I put in and explain how my package may not be complete... well, several phone calls later, I was qualified, disqualified, then qualified again... IF he gets the rest of the review which I had sent to him overnight. He said that if he got that, I would be able to come for an interview and that he would email me... today. Well, today has come and gone and Ive no email. I guess the only thing I have left to do is call him tomorrow and ask if he got the review. Then maybe he can throw in whether or not Im still qualified or now disqualified and if I am qualified, when to come in for that interview. If I get an interview, I would have to pay a visit to some woman who works in HR on Long Island to sorta prep me for the interview. I have no clue as to what goes on and my doubt grows everyday that I am even qualified at all. I just hope this guy is in tomorrow and I hope he got my package and I hope he gives me an appointment.

AARRRGGHH!!!!

This has been a stressful week. Among other things.

Right now I am very tired. I was up early today to go "on the road" so I can have SOME idea as to what goes on in Courier world. It certainly helped me become more doubtful as to how well I can score this job or even do it. Maybe I am too ambitious. I mean, should I wait to have more experience in the company? I mean, whats the diff anyway? Staying longer certainly won't help make me any more knowledgable especially if I have no choice but to stay in my present job. Eh. We'll see. It cant hurt at this point.

Im going to bed. My eyes are so tired. I hope he picks up tomorrow. Im dying to know what the verdict is. :S

:: Jane Dee 2:00:00 AM [+] ::
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The VAIO is Down

Not too long after I posted my last post, I think my computer finally got a virus it could not handle. It just will not start more than once a day and when it does, it just freezes up and I cant do anything. Thankfully, I was able to get it running one more time since it crashed and I was thankfully able to backup almost all of my files. It wasnt very hard because a few months ago, I felt something like this was going to happen so I backed up everything before that point. So I only had a few files left to save and the only thing I didnt save was my puppet video in its large size. I've looked through all my saved files and I have everything but that. Well, that and my saved emails on outlook express. Oh well. I guess I can't "look back" at all the stupidity.

Which makes me think this VAIO fiasco is a blessing. I will tell you why. It feels like I am getting ready to start all over again. That now I have no choice but to work with what I have, make new choices (such as what programs not to upload this time around), and be thankful! You have no idea how thankful I was/am for having that one chance to save all my files, and thankful that G insisted that I keep the flash stick he bought me to replace the one I lost (yes folks, I lost my 1GB flash drive :( oh how sad for me!) because without it on that lucky day my computer worked, I wouldnt have been able to save anything and be able to see it later. What I mean by that is that I also could have saved it on a Sony Memory Stick, but then I'd only be able to see it on another Sony computer (perhaps I could have checked the files at a Besy Buy or something hehehe). Well, anyway, Im going to give it a couple more tries with the recovery CDs but if not, it's off to Sony for a wipe out of my hard drive and back to factory settings. I will also see abot a memory upgrade, but I think its been doing fine at 512 Mb RAM. My computer is over four years old now. OHHH I love my VAIO. I hope it gets better.

The only thing I worry about after fomatting the hard drive is "will it recognize my MP3 Player?" Cuz if it don't, Im not sure how I can get the songs on or off my player. Hmm.

Well in any case, I am typing this on an old Dell running Windows 98. But I cant complain that much. It's working right?

As far as work is concerned, Ive "put in" for a couple of more positions. Apparently I didn't get the truck position so this time around, Im going to try a job that requires a bachelor's. One of the jobs I applied for was really great. It was an instructing position in the company and I fit all the requirements!! I just hope I hear back from them soon. They have 30 days to respond so I am very stressed waiting to hear ANYTHING from them. But not a peep yet. Sigh. I guess I can keep you posted on that.

So not much else to say. Im just waiting to see what my computer does next.

:: Jane Dee 6:28:00 PM [+] ::
...

Haterade!

Thats a funny slang word!

Anyway, Labor Day is here and Ive just got over a horrible migrainous week (yes I had a migraine all week since Sunday... the only day of relief was Thursday) and top top it all off, yesterday I had a horrible allergy fit that made me feel like life was over...

So anyway, now that I am able to know where I am, I can type up something of interest, though it may only be interesting to me. After watching a DVD of NASA astronauts, I became somewhat depressed of my past hopes and dreams. I used to want to be an astronaut and I was going to see what needed to be done. I was to join the Air Force and do whatever I could to be a pilot and then apply to be an astronaut. Of course, I learned that I am basically handicapped in all aspects of USAF piloting and astronautical endeavors. I am blind, I am too short, I am a woman (which has its negativities in the case of piloting for the military), and as of recently, I learned I am too dumb or just plain disadvantaged in the area of academics. First, I learned I cannot do physics. Okay, I guess I knew that from the start, but why not give it a shot. I learned I really DID hate EE all along and was not just hating it because my father was/is one. Don't like chemistry or biology enough (though I was keen on physiology) and the only thing I had left was math... well we all know how that turned out. When I had decided to try nursing I knew then and there all aspirations of ever being an astronaut were gone. Nursing is not a science and is not an acceptable filed of study for NASA astronaut selection. Well, neither is psychology, but I never expected to gian anything from that except a stamp that says "B.S. [insert major here]." To this day, when people ask me what my major is/was I always include my math degree (if you can call it that).

So now on the eve of Labor Day (which has a significance in that it was the last holiday before the school year started) I am here pondering the facets of my life that have led to me to where I am today and asking the five W's and the one H of some events. I have not discovered any new information folks. Life is what it is and though I may be a virtual cripple in the areas I most desire (or used to desire most), I am confident that someday, somehow, I will obtain some satisfaction in my accomplishments. I have no place in the sky nor do I have a place in space or even sweeping the crap out of the bathrooms at Johnson Space Center. I have resigned from all those dreams many years ago and though I may be nostalgic about those hopes (and not about school as you have read in a previous post), I looked deep into my heart and asked what else if not the sky and the jet fumes could make me just as happy? Is there anything that is a close second?

The answer is not nursing! Let's get something straight. I went to nursing to train to get a job because I was in the dumps and I had nothing. I was too depressed to go back to "real" school because I hated it and I had no clue as to what to take. I wanted a science degree and it just was not working out. I wanted to run away some how; I wanted to be absorbed into something, much like a druggie needs to be absorbed in his crack to feel at least like a third of a human being. The worse things got, the more I studied and it was great. Then when it was time to start being a nurse, all hell broke loose. IT SUCKED! "I don't want to do this! I want to read books and get As!!" All the mending I did took a turn for the worst. I glorified something I knew nothing about and made it look, to myself, as if it were something to be desired. I looked at nursing with beer goggles on when deep down inside I was ashamed of it and felt stupider the more I wore that damn nurse dress. I hated saying I was a Kingsborough Nurse.... I shuddered and it made my stomach turn. I was not this! I was someone who worked with her hands yes, but not like this! Every aspect of the "career" seemed like a dead end. It was interesting to be in the medical field but I would have hardly any power and I am NOT about to spew out "my gosh, nursing has its roots inthe history of the universe and everyone has the power to summon that energy to heal and prevent and I can show you with a nursing method that channels energy from the body and displaces from the sick parts to the healthy parts"

WHAAAAAATT!???? EXCUSE ME???

Oh no she didnt.... I wasnt aware that nursing has its root in Kabbalah or the Seven African Powers!

Now, when I started the nursing thing I said "if this doesn't work, I am nothing and that means nothing else is going to work." When I left nursing I said "This is shit and if I think Im going to believe there is nothing else, then I will just have to drive trucks!!!" So I went back to real school and looked over every science (B.S.) major they had and said there HAD to be something in here I can do and it was between chemistry, psychology and geology. I ruled out geology because it would take longer than chemistry or psycholgy. I went to the KCC library and looked at all the textbooks for the chemistry classes and psychology classes. I said "Do you REALLY want to study this [bio-chemistry]?" I must have looked through the chem books for an hour before I said "no." I mean, look how much easier psychology is than chemistry! I was like "Come on, pick something EASY! Pick something you can get out fast with and then, you can always go back to get another degree, like a real one."

Then I pondered the idea of med school... that went bust quick enough. The disadvantaged background I spoke of earlier comes into play here. I just do not have enough money and patience to audit all those classes and then study like mad to do well on the MCAT. Though I dont think I would do bad, I would be waking up at 5am to drive all the way to Queens (the only cheap place I can audit) and study most likely seven days a week. That kind of schedule only works when I am depressed people. I am not fond of two hour night sleeps anymore, especially now that I had a driving job.

Oh yes, the driving job. I seemed to have got off the topic a bit. I was supposed to tell you what was a close second! Apparently, I had "accidently" discovered I liked other machines besides planes, namely trucks. Its difficult to think people will pay you to drive something somewhere. I mean, thats a lot of fun you know?? So fastforward to my job now and I discover that you can be hired to drive their tractor-trailors. Not only that, my new destination for grad school fits right in because I can also be a manager for these things! So what's a girl to do?

She applies for a tractor-trailor position in San Diego! (hey Im ranked #1 for now)

Of course, I still have to get my CDL-A, ahem. But not to worry, I don't suppose I will fail the test, I just hope I can pass it in time. I will check on my status at work on Tuesday, and if I am still #1, I need to get the steppin' on that license. What's cool about the job is that you get three full weeks of paid training somewhere and they pay for the hotel and meals and all that.

Then when I dominate the road I will become a manager and with my MBA, I will get paid so much money as a "fleet manager" I will say "take that blind-y!" Of course, blind-y would be myself and though I am grateful for whatever vision I have left, I would really be saying HA to making the most out of my situation. I do realize that this would not be an issue for someone else because they probably could care less about flying and being an astronaut. Maybe they just care about being on MTV. God bless simplicity.

Oh yeah, I think I need to lower my cholesterol.

:: Jane Dee 1:59:00 AM [+] ::
...

Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaa, I Don't Got No Schooooool!!

As you can see, the no school thing is a recurring theme for me nowadays.

So here I am, re-painting my nails and pondering about my future... Where will I move, what will I become and when will I become it? People tend to have high expectations for me, which is good in some ways, but is bad in other ways. I mean, what if I like the mediocre after all? Is there really a difference between mediocre and just being happy doing what is comfortable?

I recently received some "tips" on how to land a truck job faster at JFK (or I suppose any station you truly desire) and wonder if it is really that necessary. I wouldn't mind moving away for a bit and working somewhere else all while retaining some familiarity. So although I did appreciate his inside info, I did want to spread my wings a bit.

Maybe I should go to the DMV this week to renew my permit before it expires. I should also start my training within two weeks. I hope this time, I wind up in a better place than the other trades I've paid for.

I also got rid of my nurse shoes. Now I have to find some way to get rid of my nurse uniforms. I also have a dress. Sheesh. Maybe I should give them to the salvation army. All I know is that I won't be needing them anytime soon. Its cloudy, rainy days like this that make me wonder if everything happens for a reason. Then I say, well, maybe some things happen for no reason other than helping you gain wisdom. I guess that isn't always the most desirable reason though. I would forsake "wisdom" from that era for "action" and "results" but I think I am better off this way.

Big decisions need a clear reason why and real desire and faith.

Well, anyway, if anyone out there needs a size 8 nurse dress and pants and small size top and skirt, let me know!

:: Jane Dee 4:35:00 PM [+] ::
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Not Nostalgic Con't...

So as I was saying, I was going to go away to see the fall foliage, but I took a quick look at what I could do and I saw that I get get a triple play! Here's how:

1)Going upstate during the Orinids allows me to see the Orinids because its a wee bit darker there than Long Island.

2)Going upstate during the Orinids also allows me to see the fall foliage IF I go to the right area. During the Orinids, the area at peak is a "Zone 4" area, which includes the Niagra Falls area...

3)So, going upstate, I can now see the Orinids, the fall foliage AND Niagra Falls all in one shot!

I can make it a grand slam by using a personal day(s) instead of a vacation day(s) and GET PAID to go there and have a ball, and STILL have my full vacation days available! That means I can go there on a weekday instead of a weekend, so I can better use my points for the free nights. YES!

My life gets better each day!

In other good news, I finally took my HAZMAT! And I passed! Now all I have to do is hope I get reimbursed soon (my job is supposed to shell out the $233 I shelled out to get these endorsements) and that's it! Now, I have an X endorsement which means I can drive hazmat/tanker! Next stop CDL-A! Then, I can get those awesome airport jobs that make my mouth water!!!!!

So here is my theory: We will never have flying cars and thus, trucks will always be needed even if they are powered by something other than diesel. Why? Well, lets see... the new form of terrorism is in the air... and currently you need a million flying hours to get even a small license. Now if flying was the new mode of transportation, the government would have to regulate it and that would mean too much money because now every one would have to get so much practice and fingerprinted and all that nonsense to prevent terror and just random acts of violence... e.g., some guy hates you so he will crash his car-plane into your house like a kamakasi-taliban-add-another-suicide-terror-thingy-here style attack. Bombs would be soooo 20th century and not only that, new gangs could form and do an attack on a rival gang or just a neighborhood to be in control by dousing your house with flammable solvents in one car-plane then another car-plane comes and throws a flaming rag on top of that... Not to mention "drunk flying!" Look at all the damage and death drunk drivers do on the ground already! Imagine what damage they can do while flying in the air! Accidently crashing into Midtown Manhattan! Accidently crashing into my house and blowing it up! HELLLOOOO!!!! NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Unless we find a way to make all humans nice, the ground will be the way to go... oh and how will you transport HAZMAT in the air?? Come on now, you know how many regulations companies like FEDEX have just because they allow HAZMAT? PFFT! Look folks, getting a CDL-A still sounds like a good investment to me.

Okay Im done making a fuss.

Now I have to attempt to upload a ton of pictures to finally finish updating my webpage. Yes Im about a month off schedule...

:: Jane Dee 3:54:00 PM [+] ::
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Not Nostalgic At ALL

August is almost over and you know what that used to mean... SCHOOL! But wait a minute! I don't have to go to school... what you say? Thats right! This is my FIRST EVER FALL "SEMESTER" where I have not one care about school. No more lamenting about what I am doing no more "oh lord, I wish it were over" because I AM DONE.

I think I will celebrate with the
"FIRST ANNUAL WHOO HOO! NO SCHOOL! CAMPOVER"

Yes...

I will plan a trip sometime between the last week of August and the last week of November. This year, I will plan it during the Orinids. This campover will celebrate my release from public school shackles and the culmination of required school. Because, from here on, I don't have to go to any school I dont want to and no school has to take me. I have "all rights and priveledges" to persue a career or go back to school or live on welfare. The choice is mine. I don't have to worry about the registrar or the dean of whatever school and making all sorts of crazy arrangements. HA HA HA HA !!!!

Okay so this year, I can finally use up my free nights and stay somehwere nice. I was thinking I would go upstate so I can catch the meteors AND the fall foliage.

hmm... hold that thought

:: Jane Dee 5:21:00 PM [+] ::
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Scheduling My Hazmat

So I guess I lied again about when I would be finished updating my webpage. I said I would be done last month. Pfft! Well, not to say that I am that far behind, but I still have a ways to go... I mean after seeing all the pictures Ive never posted, dang! Thats the problem with digital pictures: you can take a million pictures, and you have to do is upload them. Well, easier said than done when you literally take a million pictures. And the new Sony camera I got is not any easier. Since I can take higher resolution photos, I now have to fix my pictures so that I can upload them in a smaller size. Sheeeesh!

Well, in other news, I was also supposed to finish up my Hazmat last week. I didn't So I said next week. Well, Im not sure about that because Ive not studied for it lately. I did before, when I was all prepared and ready to take it. Now, I dont know. I will take it though because when I do, I get an (X) endorsement which means I can drive Tankers and Hazmat, even at the same time!

Then I will be off to get my CDL-A! Yes, Ive decided to get it even though times are rough with all the fuel problems and there is no certainty to this. Ive finally learned what the job title for trailer drivers are and I am very excited to know that there ARE available spots for trailer drivers all the time! And with that, I think I can be very happy. I just have to find out what school to go to. I wanted to go to a school in Babylon, but maybe the driving schools near my job will be cheaper. Most of my co-workers who took the CDL-A Course went to a school about four blocks from my job. My A permit expires soon, but you can renew the permit for another year only for $20 or so. So great! When I go in to take my Hazmat, I will renew my permit because even if I take the courses now, Im pretty sure it will expire by the time my road test comes around.

YAY! Something I want to work for! Things that motivate are very cool.

:: Jane Dee 3:30:00 PM [+] ::
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Jobs

So how did all of a sudden I get caught up in a job search? Im supposed to be thinking about grad school. However, ever since I applied to YAI (which did not work out by the way) Ive been continuing faxing and applying for reasons I am not quite sure of. I did find a couple of cool places Id like to work and I suspect I will call one of them to see if they got my mailed resume. Other than that, I have no idea why I am looking. I wasnt going to start looking until next year.

whatever, who cares about this??

Not I says me.

I DID however find out what the job is called to drive the 18-wheeler for Fedex. So that means that I will try to get my CDL-A a 'lil faster. I only have my permit thus far and I have to go to the DMV this week to take my Hazmat test, so I will ask them about my permit that is supposed to expire next month. Do you know how cool it would be to drive a truck and have them pay me for it?? Imagine I get that sooner than I think? Id be on my way to happy land, but don't tell no one. Girls driving trucks weirds people out. Well, maybe it only weirds out the stupid people. No one cares about stupid people anyway.

Well, Id sure be making more than $25,000 a year which is what YAI wanted to pay me to do a very hard job. Thats maybe a wee over $10 and hour! HAHA! What? I get more than that now doing less mentally demanding work. The physical aspect is grueling but I was designed to be a physical person. After taxes my grand total would only be about $20,000.... and when I came back to sit on a day at YAI and this particular class Id be teaching, I thought I was going to fall asleep. I learned a valuable lesson. I can only work at jobs that have a lot of action. I guess I am not cut out to sit there and do nothing. Which probably supports my distaste for office jobs.

oh shoo! I was supposed to finiah cleaning my room and stop goofing off...

:: Jane Dee 3:35:00 AM [+] ::
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Alternators

My, its been a while since Ive posted anything on here. Well, needless to say, I've been busy. Doing what you ask? A lot!

First, Lou and I have finally put the finishing touches on graduating from school by ordering our own portraits with our gowns. Im putting them in frames as I type this. Yee haw! Ive also got back my corrected Honors photos and I got all my diplomas and such and have hung them up accordingly. Good bye school!!

In other news, Ive somehow landed myself a job at YAI/NIPD as a teacher of sorts. Ive always wanted to work there, but needed a Bachelor's to get any of the good jobs. Well, my plan wasn't to get any other job till, like, next year, but this opportunity was right there so I finally updated my resume and they called me for their private job fair. So I went and there was something called a group interview and I seriously blew everyone else out of the water. Between all my psychological/biological/science background and my knowledge of the company in general, I was the most articulate one and hence, got the position. The bad side is that they put me with one of the most difficult groups: dual diagnosed mentally retarted with behaviour or emotional problems. I assume they think that because I have educational background in human behavior and conseling that I can take these people on? I dunno, but I hope it's not as bad as some make it seem. So anyway, because of that I've been busy putting resumes together, getting my references straight, finding a new suit (which I did and I like it alot), finding new clothes and shoes and purses and probably spending way too much on that stuff, and of course, alternators!

What?

Yeah totally crazy! I was driving down Coney Island Aveneue and my battery light goes on and the dash goes "ding ding ding" so I assumed my battery wasn't good anymore and it was time to get a new one. So I make a pit stop to get a battery and put it in ($80 btw) and get going to Long Island to do some shopping. Well, the light is still on and its still dinging everytime I start the car so I assumed I needed to reset something so I just left it as is 'till I got home. Well, when we were done shopping, the light came on again and this time, another light came on... so I drove off... and another light... I was getting nervous... so I pulled off the Southern State and made my way to the Sunrise Highway. By the time I got there, all my dash lights were on and my tachometer and speedometer and fuel and temp guages were all off, my lamps werent working and so I was like "WTF"? and so I blew a red light to pull over to a park and ride lot in Freeport. Lucky me because as I was making the turn my power steering died and then my car. So I let it roll into a spot and called G with the trusty Jeep. I thought it was the battery but he charged my battery up and only got about one minute of power before it died again. So me and Lou went across the way to ask the firehouse if they knew where to get a battery. They didn't but they said I could leave my car in their lot and get it towed tomorrow. Well, I did just that. The next day I came back with the Jeep and realized that the Jeep with the steel bumper was not going to bump my car across the Sunrise to the the Firestone. Hell no! Then I'd have to get body work done as well. (he bumped my pontiac before but who cared about that stupid car??) So I called a tow truck to tow it about three blocks and left the car there to get a new alternator! Three hundred plus bucks for that job, sheesh! And I was going to go and kill that guy at RS Strauss for selling me a bad battery, but his life has been spared. I should have called Amex, I think I get free towing cuz Im a gold member or something... I think I was less than 50 miles though. Freeport isnt that far away.

So no, I havent been updating like I said and I guess I feel kind of bad... I have so much to do on the site its so daunting. maybe I can get something done tomorrow but not this weekend because I have to get ready for part two of my interview on Monday. Then polish and wax the car. And laundry and clean up all the clothes I bought off the floor. etc etc.

Well, I guess I better get back to putting my photos away.

:: Jane Dee 5:10:00 PM [+] ::
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Bad Circadian Rhythm?

So its about a quarter to 6am and I am not particularly sleepy. Given that I now normally wake up at about 1pm, I wonder if this will have any adverse effects . From what I learned from my sleep class, no it won't, unless I get some job that starts at 8am (for the love of God WHY would I do that???) and I am now falling alseep at the wheel. Hm. Sounds like my last year at City.. Falling alseep on the Belt by the VZ Bridge and swerving to avoid disaster with the guardrail all during evening rush hour traffic. And the car I used to drive was LOUD. Yet that was not enough to keep me up. HA!.. to make matters worse, I'd be on my way to my HEAVY DRIVING JOB. Obviously nothing has happened, but that was only due to large amount of coffee and sugar products (i.e., donuts and horribly processed "bakery" items from the vending machine). To be honest I do not remember much.

But I do know that I have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome!
Oh yes indeed I do. The book for the course I took for sleep disorders says that "a person with DSPS may not start to feel sleepy until 1 or 2am.... In severe case [(me?)], somone suffering from DSPS may not become sleepy until its almost dawn." Or in my case, past dawn and the birds are singing and the school busses are revving. The only thing is that "suffering" is subjective. Now that I don't HAVE to get up at 6am (or 4:30am as I used to!!) I am not suffering. Furthermore, Ive been sleep deprived for years. And unlike the supposed vast population of DSPS "sufferers" who miss work and are always late and fail class, I was late maybe to the horrible music class in high school (but reformed since that point) and have never been late to class unless it was because the bus broke down or something I could not control. I also have never failed anything because I was sleeping. In. Ive failed tests, but thats because I was stupid. Or didn't study. Or didn't care.

Well, anyway, I will attempt sleep soon, but I will get up early this weekend so I can be a little sleepy come Sunday night. And what perplexes me is that I don't even finish the cup (size = 12oz) of coffee I make almost everyday. This is a 100% natural, non-induced by stress or other crap, syndrome. I assume I will have to try to adjust my wake up time to 11 or so I can start studying for my GMAT test. I cant wake up at 1 and start studying. That's just weird, even if I would have 5 hours before work. wait a minute... hmm...

Ach!

All this wakeful time and I havent updated shit on my webpage. Well, its a big effort, I was looking at all the obsolete pages and thought that I need to do some major restructuring. I think my site will look a little smaller. There is so much unorganized crap in my file manager Im not sure I want to undertake such an idea. It took me a week just to clean out my hard drive. That was easy. My site actually has to look good and make sense. Too much thinking involved.

So now its 6:20 and Im not much sleepier. Maybe I should ride my bike during the wee hours of the morn and be more productive than just sitting here figuring out the calories to lentil soup.

But I do think about other things, like future job plans and school. I was thinking about that safety assistant position I did not put in for. I wonder if I would have got it. I did need DG training. And my portfolio doesn't even exist. Well, in any case, I do think about how I will get to B-School, if I do at all. I search all night for alternatives and the only other interesting thing that I can do is I/O Psychology (Industrial/Occupational Psychology) or something in Logistics or the supply chain realm. Its daunting! Im still wondering that, say I do well on the GMAT, like above average, should I still put off applying so I can get an admin job to spiffy up my background or should I try to get in right away. There are too many choices. Not to mention trying to build the framework rightnow and not get off track. Blehh!!!

6:30... I better get to bed. I can whine about all this after 1pm

:: Jane Dee 5:50:00 AM [+] ::
...

YEE HAW!!!!!

GUESS WHAT IVE GOT TICKETS TO!

The Bull Riding event at MSG!!!

I usually wake up to 1010 Wins and listen in on the latest news and I heard the spot for the event and I woke up. I was like "har? Bull riders? OOooh!" So I tried to get some preferred seating through American Express Gold Card Events, but I found there were still some cheap seats left so I bought those instead (but the preferred seats had a great view). In any case, I am very excited and can't wait to go. Ive always wanted to go see a bull riding show somewhere, but this is much more convenient than hoping to cross paths with a show one day whilst traveling.

It's in January, but it gives me something to look forward to.

oops time for work

:: Jane Dee 5:49:00 PM [+] ::
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Almost Time For Work

And I just ate rice and beans! har har!

I have a few things I'd like to post, first of is I cannot spell the word fiesty (see there I go again, spelling it like fiesta) so I use the guidance of Merriam-Webster and find out they are having a "party like it's 1806" bonanza to celebrate the 200th anniversary of M-W dictionary. Of course, I will not be signing up for the spelling bee, but I am tempted to visit the event on July 27 in Massachussettes (did I spell that right?) or the one in Brockport, NY.

Second news event that is placed in the "dumb" category is of course school related. I paid $30 for "event" pictures taken by a photography company whose name I will not disclose until I don't get my reorder. This company was hired by CCNY to take pictures of our HONORS CONVOCATION (remember that). When I paid the large sum (for three 5x7 pictures), the bottom of each picture said "Graduation Ceremony" NOT HONORS CONVOCATION....?? So of course I called them and said "Yes, hi, this was honors convocation not graduation" and they said that they would reissue my pictures with the correct titles in a couple of weeks. So if they don't, I will gladly dispute the charge thru my credit card and generously curse them out. I have a feeling all be be amended though. Maybe I am just optimistic.

Third thing is that I am becoming quite lazy now without much responsibilities. I am supposed to be saving money and studying and looking for leadership positions but Ive been so Pfft. Though I have been working on my webpage, and I have finished my graduation video (no, Ive not posted it yet). I have also come up with a new logo for my webpage and I plan to do a lot of reconfiguring. I have also finished looking through my pictures and have cleaned up my C drive on my computer. It took four years to finally fill it up. Well, thats nice, I also have a 16GB hard drive to fill and Ive cleaned out about 4GB on the C drive. I guess I have another four years to fill up both drives.

Now its time i get dressed for work. I hope I do not get another migraine like I did yesterday (OWWWW)! Today should be a short day, hopefully, and I want to come back home and start rearranging my webpage.

:: Jane Dee 6:07:00 PM [+] ::
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Fading Memories

Lucky for me, my memories of school are practically gone! My brain is happily compressing all that useless information whilst I sleep, which by the way, is make up sleep for all the years Ive been in school. What joy!

In other news, I have not forgot about my webpage. I am trying my darndest to sort thru all these pictures - and take them off my crowded hard drive after all this time - and get them posted and make some changes to my current webpage. I am also in the process of making my graduation video, which is coming along nicely in my brain, but not as nicley on the computer. Not that it's coming out bad, Ive just not been able to upload the video until now and when that is done I can load the music and get editing.

I also bought new Gucci sunglasses among other things. I keep telling myself "stop consuming!!" but it's difficult when you have a tremendous weight lifted off you (school) and want to celebrate. Though I really should stop spending so much because I need to save up for my upcoming vacations. No, I don't need to save money to go there, I need to save money to spend there. I also want to take advantage of my airline employment status and use my employee discounts to go and visit some schools before I commit myself to some online description of how wonderful some school is only to find out its in a boring city without much going on (e.g., New Haven, ahem). There are a lot (too many) MBA programs out there and what makes one better than another to me is usually determined by the atmosphere and the surroundings. Like with Yale, I didn't see how the rest of the package would justify paying all that money. It's one thing for a school to be great, its another for it to be in a great place. If I wanted shitty location, I can just go to Baruch.

:: Jane Dee 3:28:00 AM [+] ::
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Late Night Nostalgia

Not in a good way though. I was just thinking about LIU and all the stupidity there. Come to think of it, it was far worse than City. At least the people at City arent assholes. Thats a plus. I was remembering this one asshole professor I had for history. Ugh.

Typically, when something long and enduring finally ends, I run through memories then put them in the long storage part of my brain where I don't really have ready access to them unless Im trying to remember them. So for a few days after the culmination, I may get sad or happy then sad again. Then, it all goes away and I can hardly remember anything. That's a good thing because I don't think I want to remember smelly train rides and migraine headaches.

Oh yeah wasn't the world supposed to end yesterday?

Well, in any case, I am pretty happy that everything is over, yet sad that it wasn't more memorable. Right now I feel lazy. I have a million things to get started and all I do is sleep. Given that I calculated I lost about 120 hours of sleep last summer semester alone, I can say that for all the years Ive been in acedemia and studying my ass off to get As, I am sure I need more than 1,000 hours of sleep catch up time. According to some of my rough calculations, I need about one more month of long sleep (8-9 hours) to fully recover from all this. In the meantime, I have to make a list of stuff I need to do... like the webpage, my CDL-A, GMAT studies, bike riding (ha!) etc.

hm, I guess I should go and make up some sleep now.

:: Jane Dee 3:58:00 AM [+] ::
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Homerun!!

sorta.

I am at school and lucky for me my diploma was FINALLY READY!! I have it right here next to me. This will be my last entry from school for a long time.

As I thought, the honors certificate says Magna Cum Laude, but my diploma says Cum Laude. I could have waited for the dude who does the certificates to fix it but you know what, I will keep it that way to forever preserve the stupidity of my school. I really should be Magna, but honors is honors and I guess I can't argue my way through everything. Sometimes, the administration wins by a good 'ol wearing you down.

As for the certificate, it could be nicer. It looks cheap, but at least its not a computer print out. I think the frame I bought for it was way too expenisve but well, what's done is done. Im not about to go and return it... or am I?

Well, I best be going. My meter will run out and I want to get home and FINALLY put my diploma in its frame and hang it up.

NOW I can rest.

Praise the Lord! Amen.

:: Jane Dee 3:09:00 PM [+] ::
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My Gosh

So like I said I was going to do, I am sorting and editing years worth of pictures that I had meant to upload to my webpage. There are pictures that I blogged about and never uploaded! For example:

I had wrote about some weird dreams I was having about snakes and fog and swamps and my eye shooting out blue liquid like a squid or somthing (ewWWW!) over TWO YEARS AGO. (see here) But obviously I was not well at that point in time and reading those past postings made me sad! :( All that stress from school? Pfft! And look at how my graduation turned out... ANYWAY, here are the "renditions of some important scenes" now posted years later:

if I remember correctly, this is the scene were the snake came down and later bit me.

I know there was a female figure in the bathroom with me and I couldn't tell if it was Lou or my sister. But in anay case, this is when I looked in the mirror and saw the boil in my eye that oozed blue stuff and then I knew - knew I was poisoned that is.

This is when I felt sicker and sicker and knew I was going to die soon. The venom from the snake was turning my insides to mush and when I opened my mouth, I saw the rotting membranes.

This was when I started spitting. I guess I was spitting up my rotting insides. The spit has the consistency of watery, brown, cottage cheese.

Great dream huh? Lord knows how many ugly dreams like that I've had during that time.

When I wake up tomorrow (today), I shall call my school to see if today is the day they have my diploma. I will be more surprised if they HAVE it than if they DON'T have it. I am expecting them not to have it of course. I will also ask if they have my honors certificate. Unless both are ready, I am not going. I want to not have to go to that school until I need a transcript for grad school. And even then I will think about requesting it through email. But then again, they may "lose" it so of course your best bet is to do everything in person. How sad.

Well I guess that is all for now. My webpage should be fatter soon!

:: Jane Dee 3:39:00 AM [+] ::
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Oh yeah

Just in case youre hungry, there is a recipie for RAMEN PIZZA.

Yum?

:: Jane Dee 3:01:00 AM [+] ::
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The Home Stretch!

So graduation has come and gone and now all I have to wait for is my diploma and honors certificate. I guess there is a lot to say...

First of all, graduation was lame. I went the day before to pick up those extra tickets (which I got by the way) and checked out the set up. And as I suspected, there was NO tent/shelter for the graduates, just the "platform party." That was gripe #1. Then I lost my pair of Gucci sunglasses and I thought for sure I was going to go blind the next day from the sun or get drenched from the predicted rain. I was saddened by my loss. I love those glasses because they are nice and dark. I checked everywhere for them and I had a feeling that I left them on the desk in the "i-desk" room. So I left them a message and vowed to annoy them asap the next morning. However, I did order a new pair when I got home, anticipating the worst.

if only my school was always this well kept

Though I didn't even want to go to get the extra tickets, nor did I want to go to the graduation, I made myself get up and hauled ass to CCNY To participate in the 100-something graduation ceremony. After running back and forth to meet up with Rob and surprisingly reunite with my Guccis (yes, the woman at the i-desk didnt steal them!) I made it to the line up for the "school" of social science. This dude in front of me was having a mortarboard malfunction and the button on top of the board fell off thus preventing him from hanging his tassel. After assuring him no one would even notice if he left it off, I helped him secure the tassel on the cap anyway by punching a hole in the board with my trusty palm pilot stylus! He was very proud (and shaking) to have fixed his mortarboard even though he was an economics major and not in the school of engineering. He then proceeded to look at his pack of Marlboros... was he in need of a smoke? Dang! Relax, its just a tassel and its just CCNY. Its not like this is Harvard or something.

So the ceremony started, and to the music accompaniment of the NYPD Bagpipers! (My friend said that they started off playing the 007 theme?! I didnt hear that!) Anyway, the sun came out and it was getting sunny. At least we weren't going to get soaked. I had tucked an umbrella in my purse in case. When the equation involves City College, you know you have to prepare for ALL bad outcomes. I marched on with thh crowd to our seats and I was looking for anyone in my group but I couldnt see anyone so I kept buzzing them on the Nextel. To my "surprise" there was a carnation (yellow on mine) and a bottle of water on everyone's seat. I drank the whole bottle even though it was Aquafina (yuck-o) because the sun was beating down on me pretty bad. I had to keep blowing on my skin. Then I just opened the umbrella because I didnt want to get burned for CCNY. I wasn't paying attention to the speakers much and I finally was able to see my crowd. Since I was sitting by the ledge, Rob and G came by my seat and was keeping me company whilst I cook in my robe.



So while the boring speeches went on, I played Tetris on my Nextel. Then they conferred the degrees. Then Chuck Schumer came on to say the same speech I've heard at KCC three times already. THE SAME SPEECH... sprinkled with his little catch phrase "Go for it!" UGHH!!!! (I swear if he is at the KCC graduation and says the same thing again...) So I up and left because I didn't want to stay till the end of this. Besides, I wanted to get my honors certificate. Why? Well, I received a letter saying it could be picked up after commencement. How do you think that turned out? Of course I didn't get it. What was I thinking? To make matters worse, it turns out that I am a lowly Cum Laude. They finally caught up to whatever mistakes they were making and became consistent (not right, but consistent). Not only that, according to the program, I have a bachelor of science and a bachelor of science in education. WOW! I have two degrees and I didn't even know! Sigh.

NOW do you all understand why I DEMAND to go to private school????

So now, as per my other letter, I can pick up my diploma "on or after" June 6. Frankly, if you don't know when they are to arrive, why are you telling me? If I call on June 6, I bet they won't have them. Well, on the day I get my diploma, I can also get my honors certificate as per the "office engineer" at the office of student affairs who informed me that my honors certificate is not ready. BVVFFTT... I can't even put into the words the frustration...

So all that is left to do now is to pick up my stuff. I was even able to sell my last textbook on Amazon! There shall be no trace of CCNY except logo memorabilia. And no, I will not join their alumni society. I'd rather be in the KCC Alumni Society anyways.

Speaking of which, I have to attend the KCC Graduation on June 12. That is always fun because we get bagels and A TENT to sit under to PROTECT us from the weather. We may also get a gift. Last year I got a mug. If they give us mugs again, I ain't taking it. I have too many mugs as it is. I am trying to get my friends to come with me to take some better pictures than the ones I took with the backdrop of smoggy New Jersey. And in my mind, it can make up for my crappy ceremony. Sorta.

Now for the next couple of weeks, I plan to upload years worth of pictures, including my graduation and Maine last year and this year. I will post the links to some new stuff here as they get done.

Right now, I am off to edit some lightning footage I took out my window. I have some pretty good shots.

:: Jane Dee 12:41:00 AM [+] ::
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A Headache Indeed

I hope all of you read my retraction in the !MadComments link from the previous post. I am annoyed at what my school has done, but I was expecting it. Even to this day I do not know if I am Magna or Cum Laude. However, If my certificate says Magna, a fight will ensue indeed. I must graduate with dignity and my school has a funny way of taking care of their honor students.

In any case, I am confused again at how I am going to divvy my time. I know I previously wrote "see ya after graduation" but all my free time seems to revolve around future schools and plans etc. I've been up until dawn looking at possible schools and it's not an easy task. Scoring a few standard deviations below or above average will help me decide whats to come faster, but I am not taking that test until at least December. That means that I have more choices right now than I may have later.

Since "graduation" is in a couple of days (and I put it in quotes only because Ive already graduated and the forcast predicts RAIN and I am not a big fan of rainy graduations) I have to think about how to use my new found freedom from the shackles of City College. (and by that I mean once all is said and done I will not have to deal with all their stupidity. A fine example is this latest bungling of PBK nonsense and the ever-present struggle of Magna vs Cum Laude) I am hoping I can put all of this aside and FINALLY upload a huge amount of stuff to my webpage. Ive been meaning to upload for years practically but school just sucks out all the fun left in me. I figure I can allow about two weeks to upload and polish my webpage and then start studying for the GMAT and hopefully figure out a way to get my CDL A. Ive found a school on Long Island that I think is cheaper than the one near my job. But that is the tentative plan for now. But the webpage will be done!! That has priority after G-Day.

Right now I will clean my desk. Its a mess! My graduation cap is in there somewhere...

:: Jane Dee 2:36:00 PM [+] ::
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